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boyfriend cheating?
Hi. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. He is 18/m, and i am 17/f. He recently went on vacation with his friends, and when he came back he had made a lot of friends on the resort. One of the friends name is Bridget. Now, let me say something. I know for a FACT that my boyfriend would NEVER physically cheat on me, due to past experiences. Its just, he talks to bridget, a lot. A longgg wall to wall, always texting her, he calls her at night sometimes (and yes, i did snoop one night when he was in the shower, btw we dont live together, i just am always at his house). I feel like he's emotionally cheating on me, and has strong feelings for her.
Another thing...she is the complete oposite of me. i have brown hair, brown eyes. I am 5'4", i am a runner and a swimmer and naturally pale. She is blond hair, blue eyes, close to 5'10" ( my bf is 6') and she is a volleyball player and insanely tan...all the time. From what ive heard, she doesnt want kids, and hates pets. I want to be a mother and i love animals and work in training animals. She is really into scary movies and gore, while i cant bare to even see them without throwing up, and he loves scary movies. She lives 5 hours away from us, but...im scared. Shes going to take the train here in april to hang out with all of the people she met and with her firends. I really dont want her to. My boyfriend wants me to meet her, but im not sure i want to. Do you think he has feelings for her? how should i deal with her coming to visit? Thank you all
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talk to your boyfriend how you feel and if he is saying he is wanting you to meet her hes not to worried about him self getting attached to her and you never no you may meet her and become very good friends with her
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You have every right to be concerned.
YOU are his girlfriend, His focus should be on YOU. It's okay for your boyfriend to have friends but constantly acknowledging them and putting his attention for your aside is just simply wrong. I would talk to him, Express your concerns. Any woman who's boyfriend/fiance/husband is constantly talking to another woman would start to feel insecure, defensive, insulted and hurt after awhile. My personal opinion, Someone doesn't have to have sexual contact with someone for it to be considered cheating. Flirting is normal, Everyone does it but I also think there is a line that should not be crossed when it comes to just how far we take that flirting. You can't stop this girl from coming to town to visit friends but if it makes you feel better I would go, Let him introduce you. Observe her, Observe him and see how the mood sets itself. However, Before you two leave to meet up with her have a talk with him let him know that you love him and how this girl makes you feel. Let him reassure you everything will be fine and there is nothing to worry about. If he takes it too far, Then that is when I would start to think about moving on. Remember, There is NO excuse to cheating. Also another thing don't ever forget....It takes two to cheat.
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You have some reasonable concerns. I'd talk to him about them.
There's no way to know. Not without seeing them in person, so honestly if I were you I'd want her there just so I could quietly observe him and make my own judgements.
You trust him to not cheat, and I can relate to that. My wife is a flirt. I'm completely secure in it, because she has eyes for only me. I've watched guys drool over the chance of getting with her, and it doesn't bother me, because I know she's mine.
About as far into the relationship as you are now though, we hit a snag. She met a guy, hung out with him, and confessed that she was really attracted to him.
I told her point blank, that I am not OK with her hanging around a guy who is a significant enough temptation that she felt the need to tell me about it herself without me finding out. She agreed, and hasn't seen him since.
Now, if he can admit it, honestly I don't think you're out of line in doing exactly what I did. I'm married to her now, so obviously I've had zero reason to regret that decision.
If she comes, and you can tell he's into her more than you'd like, but he can't admit it to himself or you, then you talk to him about what you feel without laying down ultimatums, but you let him know exactly how far your hair is standing on end because of the situation and exactly how crazy and irrational it makes you want to be.
See how he reacts. Is he sympathetic? Does he drop her immediately or does he get angry and defend her? Is he dismissive of the problem or you?
Go from there. This could be counted as the first big test of the relationship. I can't give you any predictions, obviously, but if you have questions about further developments feel free to drop me a question.
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This doesn't sound totally right to me. You can't stop her coming, so I would suggest laying low and just observing. Be kind and welcoming and do your best to welcome her and hang out with her and your other friends as much as possible. While you're hanging out just observe how they interact. If your boyfriend expresses the wish to spend time alone with her, without you while she's visiting, then that's a red flag. So just keep your eyes open, but try not to get too crazy until you see for yourself how they are together.
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Friendship can happen between a guy and girl. If he is asking you to meet her, that is a pretty good indicator that he is not cheating. If he was cheating, even emotionally, he would probably try to keep her a secret.
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