My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset
Occupation: Housewife/Mother/Counsellor/Volunteer
Member Since: April 20, 2006
Answers: 798
Last Update: February 17, 2009
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i have gotten fingered before and i use tampons.. i was just wondering how much it hurt to get your cherry popped, or if its your first time? scale 1-10, 10 being hurting the most. and also what happens when your cherry gets popped? (link)
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Chances are your cherry has already popped. Using a tampon and being fingered will normally do it, as can riding a bike, doing the splits, riding a horse or any number of activities you may have done.
So, in that respect, it most likely never hurt you and on a scale of 1-10 the answer would be 1 or 0. When it happens, most girls will not have noticed, but sometimes a girl may bleed slightly or not have any signs at all.
Hope my answer helps.
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ok i have a boyfriend how can i tell him that i love him but i cant trust myself with him im not meaning like cheating on him. just i think i might hurt him like his feeling. because of stuff thats going on at my house.please write back ASAP!
Thank you (link)
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If you find it easier, write it down along with an explanation. Or tell him you love him and then give him a note to explain.
You may be pleasantly surprised to find that he doesn't mind about what is going on in your house, he only cares about you. He may well be able to support you emotionally during this time.
Good luck.
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haha ok so my boyfriend wants me to name his penis. any suggestions cuz i cant think of anything good. btw its 8 inches if that helps (link)
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A lot of men like to have a name for their penis.
Augustus (as in the 8th month)
Au (as in gold)
Auto - penis/car/rev/matic
Barry
Cocky
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Okay so i seriously believe i need to be put back on anti-depressants. i've been on them about 3 years ago. and once i got off of them i was fine...until about a week ago...i've been depressed for almost 2 weeks now and everyday suicide sounds so much better than continuing...it's like it's the answers to my prayers..dont lecture me on how suicide is bad and blah blah blah because i know...obviously i know. my real problem here is telling my mom. i'm too young to get the meds. myself and she'd know anyways. i dont want to tell my doctor especially because she'll ask alot of questions about why i'm having suicidal thoughts and all this bull and i cant give her a straight answer. I dont like talking about it. I just want the damn medicine without all the hassle. and no...i'm not addicted, i just dont like being treated like a psycho. what can i say to my mom and my doctor to let them both know i want to be put back on anti-depressants? thanks in advance! (link)
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Can I suggest that you try a herbal remedy like St Johns Wort first before you ask for antidepressants again. You would need to go to a Natural Health shop where an assistant could talk you through the sort of thing you could try.
Failing that, unfortunately, you would have to explain to your doctor why you feel you need to go back on the medication.
As you have been doing so well until recently, is there a time to which you can point out the trigger for your suicidal feelings? Maybe if you found out what happened to make you feel so down then you may be able to work through it. You can do this yourself by writing everything down and going through what you have written. Once you have decided what may have caused your thoughts to turn again to suicide, you have a very good chance of dealing with that without the pills.
You are a lot stronger than you were three years ago and maturity can bring the satisfaction of dealing with life's problems without resorting to medication.
If you can, please tell your Mom how you are feeling right now because she will be feeling anxious if you are showing signs of being suicidal. She will have been through it before with you and will know what you need. She can be your crutch for a while because that is what a mother does. Us mothers would willingly give our own lives for our children if it would ease their pain. Let her into your world and she will be there for you.
I wish you all the very best and hope that you can see some light at the end of your tunnel. There are many, many people dedicated to helping others in this situation. Take this help. Good luck.
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Ok well everytime i get fingered or have sex i never orgasm. The guy does but i dont any ideas how to fix this problem? I dont want to make my boyfriend feel bad about it so i dont really mention it what do you think i should do? (link)
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I suggest that you explore your own body in private and discover what you find erotic. Once you know what turns you on you can direct your boyfriend in that direction. Use encouragement to let him know how you are feeling and if he is hitting the spot. You can also purchase a vibrator (over the net if you are too embarrassed to go into a shop) and use it to help you also.
Happy hunting!!
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How can i get on birth control with out my parents finding out? When i have sex with my boyfriend we use condoms but i just dont want to take the risk of getting pregnat. (link)
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You will need to go to either Planned Parenthood (Family Planning in England)or to your doctors where they will advise you on taking the pill. They will be able to help you confidentially if you do not want your parents to find out.
I would also suggest that you continue to use condoms whilst also on the pill. That will ensure you are doubly protected.
All the best.
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so i jsut found out today
that my cousin who is in 3rd grade
is blind now
because he had a headache and didnt say anything
and now he has a brain tumor
and my aunt and uncle are getting the reults back today
to see if it spread to his spine
and if it did
they cant do anything and he is going to die
and i dont know what to do!
im crying right now talking about it
i dotn want him to die
because i love him so much
and espiaically cause he has a full life ahead of him. hes only like 9 or 10
idk if i should be sad that he can possibly die
or be happy for him cause hes not sufferring and hes in a better place.
help me please!
:[
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What an awful thing for you and your family to face. It is never easy knowing that someone you love is suffering or will die. If you can, please talk to your parents and ask them to allow you to speak to a Cancer Care worker or a Macmillan nurse (If you live in England) or the equivalent in America. They will be trained in talking to the relatives of Cancer sufferers and can help you deal with the emotional trauma that you will all go through.
Many people will be affected by your Cousin's suffering and by supporting each other with hugs and kind words, you will get through it.
There is nothing that I can say that will make the next few months any easier, but I want you to know that many people will be sending up prayers for your Cousin.
I wish you peace and good luck in all that you do.
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I've always had flashbacks. When it's quiet and I'm thinking or if I'm just not doing anything memories of embarrassing moments come up and they don't relate to anything. The oldest one I can recall is from fifth grade. To make things even more unusual the only way I can surpress the memories is by pinching or biting myself, then it usually gets out of my head. Is any of this normal? Memories, biting, pinching..etc. I would like to stop doing this because it's really caused a lot more depression than anything else in my life but I'm not sure where to start. Help would be appreciated. (link)
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Every single person I know has flashbacks of their past lives. I am just as guilty as you are because when I think of some things that went on in my past I am highly embarrassed or upset. I don't hurt myself physically (I have enough pain as it is) but mentally it can be torture.
The best way I have found in dealing with this is to relive these embarrassing moments and mentally put them in pretend boxes on an imaginative shelf and "tidy" them away. If I choose to look back on them I can "open" the boxes, and if I accidently "open" a box I can quickly close it again. This may or may not work for you, but it can't hurt to try.
However, you must remember that every single experience in your life has made you the person you are today. Always learn from everything you do and you won't go far wrong.
I hope that I have helped with my suggestions. All the best.
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Recently my mom has gone away on business. My dad has been a real jerk lately, only calling on me to clean the house, not once saying a word to 1 of my 3 brothers who are also perfectly capable of cleaning the house. He also grounds me excessively for no reason. I've tried talking to him, asked my mom to talk to him, and asked his sister to talk to him, but he doesn't listen to any of them. HE WON'T EVEN LET ME GO TO CHURCH! I mean, what is up with that? Is there any way at all that I can get him to lighten my load? He gets angry sort of easily, so I don't want to come off as disrespectful or angry to him. Please, PLEASE help me. I don't know what to do and he keeps twisting my words around to make it sound like I'M the one whining and in the wrong. I really really really need help.
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Can you hang on until your Mum comes home? Some men see the home duties as exclusively the female domain. Ask your brothers if they would help share the load and explain to them why you need their help.
If your Dad most definitely will not listen to you talk perhaps you could try writing him a note asking for his permission to allow you to go to Church.
At school ask your Teachers for some advice - they may be able to help you with your grades for a while. If they know you have a problem at home perhaps they will go easy on you for a couple of weeks.
Nothing ever lasts forever and what seems like a big deal today will seem like small peanuts tomorrow. You just need to be able to lean on someone else for a while, be it a relative, brother, teacher or your Church Minister. Ask for help of these people.
I wish you all the best. Good luck.
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Ok...i am 13 and a girl. My parents are divorced and i see my dad 2 maybe 3 times a month. But my step mom has been on disability for a while at her work and my dad is really worried that they wont have any money. I can tell and it worries me bad. He dosent like to talk about it and he is depressed and it makes me depressed because my dad is sad. He just thinks that there wont be presents at christmas and i dont care if i get presents or not but i can tell he is worried about it and i overheard a conversation with my stepmom saying he was and that she was to. It makes me sad. Any advice? (link)
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How about a good old-fashioned Christmas this year. Why not suggest that you each find something within a certain bracket range, depending on how much you can afford, that is fun. Or, why not suggest making little presents this year like cakes, cookies, pickles or something along those lines. It shouldn't cost too much to buy the ingredients and you may have more fun making the presents than buying them. You could also make your own cards using whatever you can find around the house. Wrapping paper can also be imaginatively made from magazines etc.
Christmas does not need to be expensive and enjoying each others company, rather than what is spent, would be great. Another idea would be to make a little book of promises - for example to your Dad "I promise that I will clean the yard today" or "I promise that I will iron 2 of your shirts today" or whatever else he would appreciate. For your Stepmum - "I promise that I will cook supper tonight" or "I promise that I will run you a hot bath tonight" - the ideas are only limited by your imagination.
Now on to your Dad's sadness. He will most certainly want to make Christmas a happy time for his family, and normally all adults can see is the amount of money it is going to cost. You could suggest your money-saving ideas to him and see how he reacts, or if you can, talk to him about how you see what Christmas could be like if you use your imagination and your talents.
Other families may well get the latest technology and gadgets, but I bet a lot of children would just love for their families to sit around playing games.
I hope that I have been able to help you some. I wish you all a very happy season of goodwill. Take care and good luck.
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I am 26 years old female...My boyfriend is a great guy the best boyfriend ever when he is SOBER....when he drinks hes a different person...hes mean to me and throws me around when i dont wanna deal with him....he has never hit me but he gets real rough with me and hits the door or will smash something...I'm scared i dont know what to do...he always says im the mean one or i hurt him but when hes on top of me i have to push him away he pins me down...i have talked to him about this but i really dont know what to do...i just got a place with him just 3 months ago and now i feel trapped...what should i do...does this happen to anyone else...how can i help him? (link)
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The best way to help this guy is to walk away now. He may be great when he is sober, but when he is drunk how far will he go in attacking you? Will it be the black eye, the broken arm, the kick in the stomach or when you are dead?? You say he hasn't hit you but it is only a matter of time before he does - he will not be able to control his temper one day whilst he is drunk and then he will blame it on you.
Only he can decide if he is willing to stop drinking altogether so that you can be a normal couple together.
This kind of behaviour happens a lot. I have never been in your situation - for which I am truly grateful - but I do know of others who have been. You are not to blame for his drinking and drunken outbursts, but you are the one who is suffering because of them.
There are support groups for the partners/children of people who abuse drink and they may be able to help you decide what to do for the best for you.
Please walk away before he hurts you badly. I wish you all the best and take care.
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(14, Female)
I've been going out with Michael for almost three months. Its crazy, we spend hours talking about absolutley nothing, just laughing at the stupid jokes we can make up. Just seeing him makes my heart pound. During class, I can't stop thinking about until the next time I'll get to see him, which affects my grades unforunatley. When I hug him goodbye, I already miss him. If we just hung up on the phone, I get sad like I haven't seen him in months. Sometimes, my mind just races about thoughts of him, and I absolutley dread the weekends when I can't see him.
Why is this? How can I get my life somewhat back to normal? (link)
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It's called being in love and is perfectly normal. At the beginning of any relatioship it is all so new and exciting and nothing else matters. It will settle down the longer you go out together and the magic unfortunately does wear off. So hold onto these feelings for as long as you can but you do have to live as well.
Whilst you are at school you will need to focus your mind on the task at hand, and although at the moment it's not easy, you can do it with a bit of willpower.
Try tapping the back of one of your hands with the fingers of the other hand. (Obviously out of sight if possible). Do this if you find your mind wandering towards Michael, telling yourself to concentrate. A little bit of practice is all you need.
All the best.
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okay im 19 and pregnant. the thing is i dont know who the father is bc i sort of go drunk one night & slept with my friend's sisters boyfriend. but the week before i slept with my friend's best friend which he knows about that one but not about his sisters boyfriend! i dont know what to do! any advice please!? (link)
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Firstly, I suggest that you take a deep breath and relax. Nothing is ever that bad that you can't get through it.
The next thing to do is to decide on whether you want to continue with the pregnancy. If you do, sit down and write a plan of action taking into consideration what you are doing with your life now, how you are going to pay for everything, who you need to tell first (ie. parents) and anything else that you consider appropriate to your circumstances.
If you decide that continuing with your pregnancy is not good for you right now, then you need to see a professional like your doctor to discuss a termination. They will be able to take you through the whole procedure of getting an abortion and you will also be offered the chance to talk it through with someone.
As for who the father is, if you decide to keep the baby, you will need to have a paternity test after the birth. Depending on how you feel about the father and whether they want a relationship with you, only you can decide how and when to tell either of them.
I hope that this gives you a starting point from which to work. I wish you all the very best for the future whatever it brings. Good luck.
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I moved to Chicago and left my job to help take care of my mother because she was alone and ill. So far since we have moved here there has been nothing but bad luck. When we first moved here all of our things were flooded out. I have been searching for a new job and have not had any luck. My wife came across a temp job and she is going so far. I on the other hand am becoming more and more impatient. This is putting a strain on our marriage and our religion. I have become more and more irritated and starting to snap at my wife. I am tried of hearing people say good things happen to good people. I am trying to keep my mother happy but it is killing me inside and my faith. I could sure use some advice on how to keep my head up. The last thing would be pushing my wife away.
Losing hope in everything
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Nothing ever stays the same, whether it is good times or bad. I can go on and on about good luck and bad luck, but what would be the point. You are going through a bad patch and it will definitely end, that much I do know.
Testing times are obviously at your door at the moment and, with all religions, we are told to have faith. I know that can be quite hard to do sometimes. Have you tried telling your wife how you are feeling? Be honest with her and lean on her for the moment. She may surprise you with her strength. There is no shame in allowing your wife to be the main earner for a while. Take some time to focus on what you want, what you need to do for your mother and finally, what you and your wife can achieve together.
If you attend somewhere for worship, why not have a chat about your faith with the your Padre, Vicar or leader. With their support also, you may find yourself being pointed in the right direction.
Hold your head up high, smile at everyone you meet and tell your wife how much she means to you. When you make other people happy, you will feel happiness returned to you. I wish you all the very best and good luck for a wonderful new future.
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I have a hard time talking to my parents about anything. Whenever I'm around them alone it's an akward silence. I feel bad about asking them to do anything for me (when I rarely ask). Every day after school, I just go up to my room and get on the computer and sleep. I self-relient. I cook, clean, and shop for myself; I also drive myself to anywhere I may need to go. I asked my mom to go to the mall with me a few weeks ago and it was almost like pulling teeth to get her to agree (I had just started driving and I was nervous driving around the mall area since it's so congested. I wanted her to drive ONLY around that area). My mom can't really use the "I'm too busy to [insert activity here]" excuse since she doesn't work and I'm the only child that lives in the house. I almost feel like my parents don't care about what's going on in my life since they never ask. They rarely even ask about report cards, grades, or school in general. How can I open up to them more?
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I think you possibly need to just start chatting in general, but don't expect answers. They may be feeling left out of your life too and don't know how to approach you either.
They may sense that because you are self reliant you don't need them any more. Try asking your Mum and Dad their opinions on things like how you are dressed, the latest film, anything that will spark an interest. Maybe get you Mum to show you how to cook a complicated dish that she knows and you don't. Or, for a special occasion cook them a meal and sit round a table to eat it.
With a little hard work and perserverence you may start getting a response. As for going out with you, perhaps your Mum was a little nervous because you had just passed your driving test - I know I was the first time I got into my Son's car after he passed his test.
I hope that my suggestions help a little and I wish you all the best. Good luck.
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how do you go on a date without one of yer relatives driving you around (link)
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Perhaps your relative could drop you off a block away from where you are meeting. Or, they could see you on to a bus at the beginning of the date and collect you from the bus after the date.
Obviously, it all depends on how old you are really. If you are quite young, then you need to appreciate the worry of letting you go out alone.
If you really can't go on a date alone, then perhaps your relative could sit at another table, another row in the cinema, or have a coffee at a coffee shop whilst you go shopping etc., together.
Life will not always be this claustrophobic and as you get older, the restrictions will not be so bad. Good luck.
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I love this website just to let everyone know. Everybody is so friendly. Thank you to all the people that answer all my questions.(This isn't even a question lol) (link)
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Thank you - it's nice to be appreciated.
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I am 15 and my boyfriend is 16 and soon to be 17. We do sexual things but sex has been one of the subjects we have been talking about. He said he would wait until I'm ready and I just don't know when that will be. At times I feel like I am ready but then I just can't because I'm scared. I think I'm too young but all my friends have started doing it. I'm just in an awkward position. My mom makes comments like she'll kill me if i ever did and that scares me. My mom lost her virginity supposedly at the age of 17... I don't know if my hormones can wait untill then. I just don't know what to do. (link)
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You are very wise to wait until you are much older before having sex. You will know inside when you are ready and at the moment because you are questioning it, you obviously are not ready. All the mums I know threaten their daughters regarding their sex lives because we do not want our daughters to throw away any chances of success because they become pregnant. Not only that, the chances of catching HIV, AIDs and STDs are increased with the number of partners you have.
When you decide the time is right, please use two forms of contraception - the pill to prevent pregnancy and a condom (also to prevent pregnancy) to protect against infections etc.
Sometimes it can be a struggle not to get carried away with the moment, so try not to get yourself into that situation to begin with.
I hope that I have been of some help to you. I wish you all the best and take care always.
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so i like this guy who likes me back. he`s never admitted it but i have a strong feeling he does and my friend was with me last time i saw him and she is convinced he likes me too. i can`t get him out of my mind, but i know i shouldn`t like him. he`s in his 20`s and i`m 15. he is friends with my older brothers, who highly disapprove of me dating. also, i see him very unoften. the last time i saw him, other than this past saturday was the begining of june. but i can`t get him off of my mind and every time i see him, he makes it harder for me to forget it. should i forget him or should i wait and see what he will do? but he`s older than me, so should i just forget him? (link)
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The wisest thing to do would be to forget about having a relationship with this guy. Five years is quite a big difference at your age and your brothers obviously feel he is not right for you. We always want what we can't have and the more you are told no, the more you want to go out with him.
If you still feel the same way when you are 18 or older, then perhaps that would be the time to find out if he is right for you.
I also think that your brothers will not like anyone that you decide to date, but they are only being protective. When you are older get your Mum on your side if you are having problems with your brothers. The best way to do this is to respect any house rules, always arrive home at the stated time and never tell lies about who you are seeing and where you are going.
You might think that life will be difficult for a while but every stage of your life does have an ending. You have a very rosy future ahead of you. I wish you all the best.
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how do i pop a zit thats inside my ear? (link)
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You don't - dab it with some tea tree oil or TCP and allow it to heal naturally. If you pop it you may cause an infection.
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