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im in a bit of a mess!
okay im 19 and pregnant. the thing is i dont know who the father is bc i sort of go drunk one night & slept with my friend's sisters boyfriend. but the week before i slept with my friend's best friend which he knows about that one but not about his sisters boyfriend! i dont know what to do! any advice please!?
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Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
-first you need to focous on your baby
-and if your going to keep it or not
-did you tell your mom/dad about it
-your baby doesnt need a father you can love it,care for it, and feed it yourself
flygirl_kandy@yahoo.com
4 more questions
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Sounds like you're kind of a lousy friend and a homewrecker in the making. You certainly have gotten yourself in a mess, but as the old saying goes "You've made your bed and now you have to lie in it."
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The first and most important thing you need to do is decide what you are going to do about the pregnancy. Forget about not knowing who the father is, and forget about all the drama that's going to take place because of not knowing. Focus on the baby, because it's not going to stop growing just because you don't know who it's father is. It's your fault, and it's that simple. I pity you, I truly do. And not because you are 19 and pregnant. I pity you because you have no clue who the father is!
If the above was harsh, i'm sorry. But it's the honest to God truth! If you didn't want to get pregnant, you should have had protected sex. And quite frankly, you shouldn't have gotten drunk and had sex with a taken man. Enough with the judements on my part, I apologize. You are pregnant and you have to much on your plate to deal with me yelling at you.
The first choice you need to make is what are you going to do about the pregnancy. Are you going to keep the baby, put the baby up for adoption, or terminate the pregnancy?
In whatever option you choose, you have another choice to make. Are you going to tell the 2 guys about your pregnancy and are you going to ask for a DNA test from the two to see who the baby's father is?
These are your choices. You need to make them. And you need to accept them. Rate me down for my honesty, go ahead. But seriously, it's the truth and deep down in your heart, you know it as well as I do.
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On one hand I feel really sorry for you and wish I knew of a really good place who does DNA testing.
On the other hand, I feel like yelling and screaming because you are
1) way too young to drink (it's not even legal)
2) too young to be preganant
3) supposed to wait for marriage to have sex.
But I will not yell. Since you are in fact in this predicament, my first piece of advice is:
DO NOT GET AN ABORTION.
That is all I am going to say on that topic.
Definitely tell people you're pregnant
like your parents, friends, and the guys you slept with. Yes I know that will be hard since you don't know who the father is, but there will be two people rooting for you through all of it.
Me and God.
and don't forget that ultimately, God is in control and that He is the one and true Father.
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Firstly, I suggest that you take a deep breath and relax. Nothing is ever that bad that you can't get through it.
The next thing to do is to decide on whether you want to continue with the pregnancy. If you do, sit down and write a plan of action taking into consideration what you are doing with your life now, how you are going to pay for everything, who you need to tell first (ie. parents) and anything else that you consider appropriate to your circumstances.
If you decide that continuing with your pregnancy is not good for you right now, then you need to see a professional like your doctor to discuss a termination. They will be able to take you through the whole procedure of getting an abortion and you will also be offered the chance to talk it through with someone.
As for who the father is, if you decide to keep the baby, you will need to have a paternity test after the birth. Depending on how you feel about the father and whether they want a relationship with you, only you can decide how and when to tell either of them.
I hope that this gives you a starting point from which to work. I wish you all the very best for the future whatever it brings. Good luck.
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