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I don't sugar coat things, I am honest and truthful


Hi,

My name is "Lucy" Of course that isn't my real name.


I answer any questions that come to my in box, However if you don't receive an answer within 2 days more than likely your question has been rejected for a good reason.

I answer anything of the following only;

Relationships/Relationship Abuse/Cheating/Family Issues/Depression/Anxiety/Random Weirdos


NOTE: At times I am brutally honest this is not intended to offend anyone as I am here to give advice. I am straight to the point and I put a finger down on certain questions asked.

- Lucy









Age: 26
Member Since: September 17, 2009
Answers: 575
Last Update: July 24, 2010
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Hey!

Are there any sites online where you get paid for creative writing or drawing?

If so which sites?

Thank you So much! (link)


I used to use this site all the time, It's a great place to start!

http://poetry.com/


so my ex left me for her ex, well we have been talking again hanging out just as friends well her and her ex broke up and she admitted where she fucked up and things i want to try and get back with her how long should i wait? (link)


My personal opinion is NEVER take anyone back who is still hooked up on their ex.


If your girlfriend left you for her ex not only is she shallow to have lead you on, But it couldn't be more obvious that she still had feelings for her ex while she was with you. Again, How do you know that she won't go back to him again?..She broke up with you, Frankly if I were in your shoes I would start guessing whether I was just a rebound or not. Think about it, Not only would this situation create trust issues between the two of you but it would leave you guessing whether she really had feelings for you all along wouldn't it...? Hell, If you still want to get back together with her I would wait a good chunk of time at least a month or so before I even STARTED to trust her. If someone did that too me I wouldn't give them the time of day, I certainly ain't going to be a fall back.


I just got on birth control because of my period. I was wondering if any of you have been put on it and it DIDNT' help lighten your period and make it shorter? For those who have, was it a dramatic difference? Anything else I should know? (link)


Every birth control is different and they all come with side effects...



I was on Depo provera shot and I didn't experience a period at all, It took some time for it to completely fade away but in time it did. I was told this was normal, However I did get some light spotting here and there.


I also went on the Mirena IUD, About a month after inserting I noticed I again did not experience any period. It last 5 years and it was wonderful...That IS until I started experiencing some abdominal pain and had to have it taken out. A day after I had it taken out my period was back to normal.

Everyone is different, However on some birth control some people don't get periods which again I was told is completely normal. If you are on the birth control pill depending on if you were put on it recently it may take some time for your period to lighten up..After all it took me about a month for my body to adjust to the birth control I was taking. If it doesn't lighten up at all then you might want to call your OBGYN


Well me(32) and my boyfriend(34) have been together for a little over a year and the last I'd say... 2 not quite 3 months he hasn't been as "in to me" like he was. Ok, this is the situation. We lived almost 100 miles apart, he lives in austin, I live in San Antonio, Tx. Well, I would go to austin every weekend and sometimes stay until tuesday and we wouldn't be able to keep out hands off each other. Well here recently I moved to Austin pretty much with him. He's got alot going on that I know are important to him and he's got to get done. What I dont understand is nothing has changed except my moving here. so why is he not showing me the same attention? How do I get his attention back just a little bit? Should I move back to S.A and give him his space back? (link)


I agree with DearCandore


While being apart held the spark, It also was something to look forward too. You two now live together therefore you see one another on a daily basis, You are becoming comfortable with the relationship and the longer you two are together the longer you and your spouse will get to know one another. Talk to him, Tell him how you feel. Your boyfriend could be dealing with stress from work or some other problem. I would also be a little concerned again like Candore said below me, Are you the one that is making the relationship work? A relationship cannot work out if only one is committed. I don't want to use this term but sometimes people "fall out of love" if talking to him doesn't break the ice then I would start to get the impression that maybe he is not into you as much as you thought he was. Talk to him first, Lay down some ground rules and express how you are feeling if he gets the hint then he will understand.


Acting is something I've loved for a long time. I took private lessons for a while, but it got to be much too expensive, over $200 a month. My mom doesn't want me to quit altogether, and neither do I. She said I can continue acting lessons, just not private ones. But there's a problem with that, I get shy acting in front of people I don't really know. Over time, I'm sure I will get more comfortable in front of other people. But how can I get over that initial nervousness? Any advice will be appreciated. I just don't want to have to stop acting for a while. I actually plan on doing something with it.
Thanks. (link)


How does a crowd know you are not "acting" shy and nervous? You are acting, Therefore to them everything you say and do is the possibility of an act. You be yourself, You do your thing and sometimes pretending the crowd is nothing but card board cut outs can be handy! Relax, Just go with it


There is this kid in my gym class who I'm really diggin, like he's really cute and sweet but every time I'm near a guy I like I get nervous and can't talk to them. However, my friend is such a doll and talks to him for me so today she told him me and my other friend are going to be on facebook and that he should go on so I can talk to him and he said "I will most definitely be on" then she said good, she's afraid to talk to you in person because you'll think she's weird and he said "no, I wouldn't at all, I think it's cute that she's shy, we're alike in that way." and my friend said yeaa but I'll get her to talk to you soon and he said "Good, I really want her to talk to me." sooo, I gather that he's kinda diggin me too, right? Now, what do I do from here? I know the obvious is to talk to him but what do I say? I feel like it'll be weird because he knows I like him. I also see him one period a day which is gym, at the beginning of the period, he's hackysacking with friends then they have to go in the locker room and change, then he goes to his squad and I go to mine.. so I don't see him, that's also a factor. Please help. I'm in such a rut. Thanks. (link)


If you like a guy you start off with small talk, Sometimes when a girl has their friends talk for them it gives off the wrong impression depending on the guy he could think it's YOUR friend that really has the crush on him. Not to mention, but lets not leave an opening for your friend right? I mean guys are weird...YOU talk to him.


So me and my bf have been together for a year and at the beginning, i always told myself that i wouldn't be that stereotypical clingy girlfriend. But I find myself demanding or wanting more attention lately. I don't want to be annoying, so how do i tell him that i want him to hang out with me as opposed to his friends (for example) in a good way? (link)


Your boyfriend is entitled to his guy time it would be wrong of you to prevent him from that. If you want him to pay more attention to you just ask him if he wants to go for a walk, watch a movie and plan something together.


what's something you can say to a guy to make him yours forever, well not forever but just to make him stay with you. (link)


You can't MAKE anyone stay with you, If someone doesn't want to be in a relationship then they have every right to leave.

If you want something sweet to say just compliment


Ok so i go on this website mocospace to rp (roleplay) and chat with other people. On there you can make a profile with the characts pics and biography also act as them. I tried looking for other rp sites but no luck. So where can i find a roleplay website that allows me to rp as fantasy and anime characters??? (link)


Google it, We are not allowed to advertise here.


17/f boyfriend is 17/m. i forget when, but my boyfriend and i had an intense make out session [with ALL of our clothes on] and i somehow ended up on top of him grinding or whatever you would call it but not like intense grinding where its like rough..you know? okay well anyways, im not on birth control because it can cause cancer so my mom wont put me on it, and he wasnt wearing a condom but he did cum. i was ontop of him where he cummed. there was a spot on his pants that was wet [i dont remember how wet or how big or if it got on me] but it was there. so i got off of him. and i have been freaking out that im pregnant because i have not gotten my period this month, and i usually get it at the end of the month, but now im not? and its almost the end of the month. i am seriously freaking out. i cannot be pregnant like this wouldnt be fair so i researched the topic alot and found basically the same information on each one that said..
Q: We had sex with our clothes on, could I be pregnant?
A: No. If you had sex in your jeans, shorts, underwear or bathing suit, there's no way you can be pregnant. Sperm can't swim through clothes and continue traveling into the vagina. Sperm can only swim in liquids--like semen and vaginal fluid.

but i didnt have sex. thats the thing. and i did have underwear AND jeans on and he had boxers and his jeans [plus our shirts and stuff]. im seriously bugging out. i am such a good girl, i hate myself, i dont know what came over me. and i talked to him about it and told him that if i am pregnant, i am getting an abortion and he doesnt believe in that. and i will be forced to break up with him and ill never be able to leave the house again. and please dont tell me to take a test. thank you. please help me. my back hurts from time to time, my boobs have hurt for like a weekish now and thats it. i dont have my regular period symptoms like feeling wetness in my vagina or a lot of discharge or cramps... and i am freaking out. i cry every day, its horrible. thank you for taking the time to read this. (link)


NO you are NOT pregnant, This is literally impossible. Sperm does not travel through clothing, Stop freaking out. It's probably stress and use a condom be smart.


I've been dating this guy for a month now but he lives 3 hours away from where I live. He seems like a really nice guy but the long distance is making me nervous because everybody says it can't work out. We're both pretty young still (15 & 16) and so it makes me feel hopeless and, like...why am I even trying to be a good girlfriend, right? I don't know what to think right now. Is it possible for a long-distance relationship to really stand the test of time? Should I stick with this relationship or is it best if I move on to somebody closer to where I live? (link)


The chances of a long distant relationship working out are very very low. Especially at your age and I will tell you why.


You and your boyfriend don't drive (I'm assuming) If you two DID drive, 3 hours is a hell of a ways to go to spend time with your spouse frequently. Despite you being faithful, God only knows if HE really is. You are going by your gut feeling and what he says but people can change in the drop of a dime and not everyone is faithful. Never mind the fact that you both are very young and I highly doubt he is going to want to be tied down with you for the rest of his life. Not be harsh, But at 15 guys are still in the early stage of dating, Getting to know what a relationship is and exploring new things. You can try to work it out but I really think your best bet is to focus on boys that are in your area. Not only will it be a hell of a hassle to see him frequently...but it will cause stress on the relationship and traveling can be very costly.


I am 20 yrs old..i hve had my period since i was twelve...i was on the depo shot since i was 16 and got off at 17 i didnt hve periods then but they came back like 6 mos later...i hve been srxually activity since i was 13 n i never got preqnant before or after i stoppd takinq birth control...my period are normal. I get one every month. On feb.23 i startd my period and ended feb 28.. my ovulation day was,march 9 and i had sex marc 8...a couple days later my breast beqan to hurt n my nipples were very sensitive...my next period isnt due until march 23...since then i have been quite tired..sum lower abdominal pain as if im about to start my period...and the occasional back pain hea and there..today is march 24 i am a day late and i still havesnt seen any siqns of my period..no spottin or and anythin..my nipples r still sensitive. My period always cums..EVERY MONTH!!! My breast have never hurt this lonq and i have nevr been even a day late..i took a hpt yesterday maech 23 which was my expected period date and it was neqative..either i took it too early n i am indeed preqnant or my period is late for no reason and im not preqnant..i am confused...any suqqestions or opinions? (link)


We cannot tell you if you are pregnant or not, However from experience of me being on the Depo shot for 3 years. It will take your body time to adjust and get back to the way it should be. I suggest using protection if you want to avoid pregnancy and wait 6-10 days after sex to take a pregnancy test.


Okay so I know this is going to sound like an odd relationship, but my bf and i dont keep secrets from eachother. At all. Well at least thats how he wanted it to be. He told me he never minds if i look at his phone, or if i ask him anything he will always tell me, and he wants me to do the same...and i have been doing that, i always let him look at my texts or sometimes he will on his own nd i dont mind.
Now, last Saturday we got into a fight, and on Sunday we were together becuz we went to lunch with his family. He was texting his friend, and I asked him what about? and he didnt answer so I looked at his phone but he had deleted the convo. So I asked him, hey soo what did you talk about and he said some bs answer that was random.

Later that evening, him, me and his friend and friends brother were all hanging out and my bf and his friends brother went to see his new apartment, while me and his friend stayed back to watch this show we both love. Now during this time, his friend says to me "heyy so how come you said that yesterday?" (referring to the fight i had with my bf) and I was like "What? He told you that?" and he says "Yeah look" and he shows me the whole convo he had deleted off his phone. My instincts were right, my bf had lied to me, because the text was saying all this stuff about me, not really bad stuff, but still it wasnt nice either. He was telling his friend how I was "bitching" and I "ruined his night" etc. If i had seen that earlier on his phone I wouldnt have gotten mad because its just how he feels about our fight and he was telling his friend, its fine. But what made me mad was that he LIED to me about it, something that hes always had this thing with honesty saying how oh, if you ever take your confidence away from me its going to be over because I never once gave you a reason to doubt me blah blah, and truth is he only did once, until now. (i found out about that too) so honestly i felt kinda like well you've lied twice already so i feel kinda betrayed u know?
So even tho i promised his friend i wouldnt say he showed me, I did bring it up to him. I said that why is it that you deleted the text today? What didnt you want me to see? and he says why are you so paranoid it wasnt even about u? thats when i got mad i was like hey i have reason to ask ok I saw the conversation. And i pretty much caught him in a lie, but in order to save his friend since i promised i said that he had shown me something on his phone and I accidentally saw the conversation. Now my bf has been "out of it" as he puts it, this whole week because he says he feels weird about sunday, like he cant believe i did that and looked thru his friends phone, etc etc and hes trying to make me feel guilty. Am I wrong here? And what can I say to him to make him realize hes the one that messed up without giving away the fact that his friend showed me their conversation?
(link)



Guys will be guys, It sounds like the relationship is more controlling then faithful. Despite not keeping secrets from one another EVERYONE needs their space here and there. The more you too keep invading each others privacy the more in time it will become annoying and bothersome. Not all relationships are perfect, I can promise you that he will go to his guy friends from time to time. That is just a guy being a guy, It's normal. I think you are wrong to some degree yes, Only because you aren't letting your boyfriend breathe and you are watching his every move. You two need to learn to trust one another, By trusting..that doesn't mean automatically become suspicious when he sends a text message to one of his buddies. It sounds like your boyfriend may be asking for some privacy and space and the invading his privacy finally got to him.


I am caucasian/white and I really don't want to be any more. White is the worst "color" skin to be, in my opinion. Everybody thinks I'm racist because of MY skin color! It's annoying and I feel like I owe people of different races something simply because I'm not of their race! I know that sounds so messed up but it's so true.

I see it on TV a lot so I know I'm not the only white person like this either. I see all the time people saying, "If I was white you wouldn't be..." in situations that don't even make sense even. I never try to make somebody feel bad because of their race but I've been accused of it before at school.

I'm tired of my race. I want to be something different. I know Michael Jackson changed his racial skin color. Is it possible for a white person to become black, asian, or hispanic colored? Can I change my race or my skin color? What about other physical features like nose and eyes? Can a person get those facial features changed without surgery? (link)


Your race is your identity, No there is no way to permanently change it. Micheal Jackson has gone through numerous changes that included plastic surgery yes, However it did not change his identity.


You will need plastic surgery to look different, However your race is who you are. Surgery is not going to make you no different. You just need to learn to become happy with who you are.


I recently saw my daughter left her email open when she left for school one morning. Obviously I looked at her emails and saw a boy's name that I did not recognize. I was excited, thinking she had gotten herself her very first boyfriend, and opened the email up to read for myself.

The boy is not from this town though. The boy is actually on the other side of the country. They, apparently, have been talking for a number of weeks, if not months, about all sorts of things. I don't know how they first came in contact with each other but there are lots of emails and they have been chatting on IM based on the email content.

I am worried because of internet preditors becoming more common now. The boy signs his emails with:
"
Luv ya,
[HisName]
"

I can't help but wonder if he had her into believing they are romantically involved or something. I'm worried she might be wanting to actually go and meet this guy! I want to keep her safe from these strangers but I don't want her to resent me for it right now. What steps should I take on stopping this behavior? I need her to know it is NOT OK for her to chat with strangers! How do I do this? (link)


YOU are the parent, YOU make the rules.


This is your daughter, If you fear for her safety then you need to have a sit down with her and talk to her. As much as she may resent you for it, Again, You are the adult and you make the rules. You have say on whether she can continue to talk to this boy or not.

As much as I hate suggesting this because I remember the aggravating days, You can put a timer on the computer for how long your daughter is allowed to be on for. You can block the chat rooms, If you don't approve of what she is doing then you can even put a password on the computer.

Remember, Your daughter doesn't make the rules and she is not the parent. If she gets mad at you, She'll get over it. Talk to her about the dangers of the internet and keep talking to her about. Most people on the internet days, Are not always who they say they are.


At this point in my life I want a family and I am ready for one. Very Very much. I know that my boyfriend is not ready yet and I completely respect that and am willing to wait until he feels ready. I know it's a joint decision. I never bring it up or try and pressure him. How do I get rid of these intense feelings of wanting a child until hes ready? I have tried to focus on the "cons" and the stressors of having a baby and marriage but it has not in the least altered my feelings. Nothing I try works. It's to the point where I feel stuck at where I am in life. I'm ready to settle down and start a family. So any tips for subsiding the desires would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. (link)


Sigh...


I'm going through the same thing, I've wanted a baby for quiet some time now. However, Sometimes you just need to realize that the time may not be right for you just yet. I'm glad to hear that you respect your boyfriends wishes, Not all woman these days respect that. Time will come when it's right, You just need to focus on where you are now.


so I have thus really good friend and we talk a lot and he always brings up the one time we kissed, but it was nothing, and he always talks about how he wants to hook up with me and he always ask me if I want to hook up with him, and a couple days ago we were talking about how far we would ever go with each other..so do most guys just want to hook up or do they really like the girl?
we are both 16 (link)

Not all men are pigs, There are some decent ones out there (Surprisingly)

However, From what you've typed above it sounds like he wants nothing else but you to be his booty call. Don't let him take you for granted, You are better than that.


i'm no cheater. i love my boyfriend to death. but lately i've been tempted. this guy that i used to have a huge crush on told me that he has always wanted me and he wants to sleep with me.

he doesnt know i have a boyfriend, and for some reason i didnt tell him. i think it was because i just enjoyed the sound of him raving about how sexy i am, and it made me feel important. i know my boyfriend finds me sexy, but hes not so open about it, especially since we cant have sex in his house or mine.

i just feel really terrible because for the past 4 days, sleeping with this other guy has been haunting my mind. i want him so bad, but i dont want to cheat and i dont want to dumb my boyfriend, either. i cant seem to have the strength to delete him on FB and i still want to hear from him. but theres another problem, too...he's engaged to be married in a few months. and he has two children with his fiancee. they are both 18, i believe.

i guess what i'm asking here is how do i find the strength to still be loyal to the one i love, and get rid of the one i've been fantasizing about for 3 years? (link)


First of all, It sounds like this guy you want is all for sex and nothing else...


Anyway, You need to decide what you want either your boyfriend or this other guy. If you do decide that you want to be with your crush then you need to tell your boyfriend that you don't think things are working out. It's only fair to let him know instead of toying with his feelings.

If he is engaged and soon to be married that should tell you right there that obviously the guy doesn't have enough sense to even know what commitment means. If you love your boyfriend then just delete the other guy off of facebook. Reverse it for a second, How would you feel if your boyfriend was doing this with another girl? If he is engaged and soon to be married leave it alone, You don't want to get involved in that drama you will never hear the end of it. NOT a smart idea


I like to take my little twin boys out once a month. We end up going through a drive-thru somewhere and getting lunch or dinner and heading down to the playground or park area for a couple of hours. We always have such a nice time but I have a problem when we first start the adventure at the drive-thru! As soon as we are in the line at the speaker post both of my boys start going crazy. They start yelling and screaming and trying to get out of their seats. They say all sorts of things from greeting the person taking my order over and over and OVER again to demanding ice cream, cookies, toys, and other treats. It's so embarrassing and I'm sure the order-takers probably think I can't control my own kids in a drive-thru line!
How can I help them control their excitment so that I don't have to be embarrassed and things will actually go smoothly for once? (link)



Kids are cute, and we love them but sometimes we need to learn when it's time to lay down the rules. Before you get to the drive thru you could let your boys know that they need to keep quiet so Mom can order the food and that you can take the order if they are being really loud. Occupy them with some toys for the ride, Coloring books etc.


All through high school I had this friend. We had a lot of classes together. I was pretty much her only friend but we were close! We even sat beside each other on graduation day. I went to her graduation party afterward. I totally knew all of her secrets and I thought we would be friends forever! When we graduated we ended up going to the same community college but didn't share any classes together and, so, rarely saw each other. We stopped talking after awhile and drifted off on our own paths. Well, the other day I was at work (cashiering) and she came through my line! I was so excited and tried to make conversation with her but she would not say a single word to me! I don't know what to think about it now.

I really want to be friends with her again though. I miss our old funny times we shared. She was a good person and a good friend but I don't know why she has no interest in talking to me now. Should I persue a friendship with her and message her on MySpace (I found her's recently)? (link)


When people graduate high school the truth is most people do go their separate ways, Many people change and our lives become bigger with responsibility. It could be that a lot of time has passed by and your friend just doesn't know what to say. Therefore, It lead to complete silence. I wouldn't get your hopes up but it certainly doesn't hurt to try to talk to someone especially a child hood friend. However, Keep in mind that things could of changed since the last time you two had talked. You both graduated and grew up, If you decide to approach her I would stick with small talk for awhile. Don't jump the gun and rush the friendship and certainly don't get your hopes up too high




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