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How to get his attention again


Question Posted Saturday March 27 2010, 1:11 am

Well me(32) and my boyfriend(34) have been together for a little over a year and the last I'd say... 2 not quite 3 months he hasn't been as "in to me" like he was. Ok, this is the situation. We lived almost 100 miles apart, he lives in austin, I live in San Antonio, Tx. Well, I would go to austin every weekend and sometimes stay until tuesday and we wouldn't be able to keep out hands off each other. Well here recently I moved to Austin pretty much with him. He's got alot going on that I know are important to him and he's got to get done. What I dont understand is nothing has changed except my moving here. so why is he not showing me the same attention? How do I get his attention back just a little bit? Should I move back to S.A and give him his space back?

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BRobb answered Wednesday April 7 2010, 3:27 pm:
Comfort breeds complacancy. Things start to calm down in a relationship after you live together for awhile. You just need to put a little work into it. That doesn't mean just him either! It's not solely the man's job to keep the romance alive. If you want the spark back then take responsibility for bringing it back.

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Sweet_LiL_Angel answered Saturday March 27 2010, 6:41 pm:
Moving to S.A will take you back a step and im the same way with my husband I have lived with him since April of last year before we got married we were all aover each other when we seen each other and for a while we were all over each other and i just brought it up to him on why he wasnt so over me any more and hes been actting all over me again.sorry trying to make it ,make sense but its confusing and my two sons are making a mess with toys lol.

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OhMyLucyDarling answered Saturday March 27 2010, 1:50 pm:
I agree with DearCandore


While being apart held the spark, It also was something to look forward too. You two now live together therefore you see one another on a daily basis, You are becoming comfortable with the relationship and the longer you two are together the longer you and your spouse will get to know one another. Talk to him, Tell him how you feel. Your boyfriend could be dealing with stress from work or some other problem. I would also be a little concerned again like Candore said below me, Are you the one that is making the relationship work? A relationship cannot work out if only one is committed. I don't want to use this term but sometimes people "fall out of love" if talking to him doesn't break the ice then I would start to get the impression that maybe he is not into you as much as you thought he was. Talk to him first, Lay down some ground rules and express how you are feeling if he gets the hint then he will understand.

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dearcandore answered Saturday March 27 2010, 1:31 pm:
You've heard the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder"? While being apart was difficult, it also kept a bit of "spark", because every time you were together it was like new. Now that you live in the same place you are probably moving into the next stage of your relationship - the comfortable stage. The urgency is gone for now. That's not a bad thing, it can actually be a better thing, because it allows you to really get to know each other in a different kind of way. The thing I would be concerned about is why it seems to be you making all the sacrifices. You went to visit HIM every weekend, you moved to HIS town. I'm wondering if you're doing too much of the work in this relationship. That right there is a signal to me that he might not be as "into you" as you are into him, even before you moved. Think it over, see what your instincts tell you. I think women ignore their instincts too much. They're usually right the first time.

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