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Well me(32) and my boyfriend(34) have been together for a little over a year and the last I'd say... 2 not quite 3 months he hasn't been as "in to me" like he was. Ok, this is the situation. We lived almost 100 miles apart, he lives in austin, I live in San Antonio, Tx. Well, I would go to austin every weekend and sometimes stay until tuesday and we wouldn't be able to keep out hands off each other. Well here recently I moved to Austin pretty much with him. He's got alot going on that I know are important to him and he's got to get done. What I dont understand is nothing has changed except my moving here. so why is he not showing me the same attention? How do I get his attention back just a little bit? Should I move back to S.A and give him his space back? (link)
Comfort breeds complacancy. Things start to calm down in a relationship after you live together for awhile. You just need to put a little work into it. That doesn't mean just him either! It's not solely the man's job to keep the romance alive. If you want the spark back then take responsibility for bringing it back.


20/f, dating a 20/m

My boyfriend and I have been dating for just about two weeks now, and I'm very very happy with him. But I'm really anxious about discussing sex with him.. in my last relationship, we rushed into sex and slept together after only 10 days. It set an unhealthy precedent for our relationship and this time I really want to wait. My new bf and I have made out, but that's it. He's too polite and shy to bring it up, but I know its on his mind, judging by his attitude when we're making out and it gets pretty heavy..

I don't want to rush into sex, but I'm not sure how to start that dialogue with him. I don't even know if he's a virgin or not, and I really want to know but I don't want to just ask him and make it seem like sex is the only thing on my mind =/

How do a start the sex conversation without embarassing each other or being weird? Do I wait? What do I do?? Thanks in advance! (link)
Check out this article:

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18/f

okay so this has really been bugging me and i was hoping you guys could give me some insight. not trying to sound conceited at ALL, just what i've heard .. alot of guys think i'm this hot girl and i am confident but i'm not a slut. i don't sleep around, still a virgin but why is it that guys with girlfriends ALWAYS try to talk and get with me? i don't understand!! do they think i'll cheat with them on their girlfriends or what? why me? it always happens to me, always. i'm just concerned i have something about me saying "i'll sleep with you even if you have a girlfriend" which is obviously not the case, and i haven't given anyone a reason to think that but i think it's ironic how guys who have girlfriends are always trying to get with me... why?? (link)
You must be sending them some kind of signal or at least letting them get their foot in the door. If not then they wouldn't even have a chance to try and put the moves on you. It's not them, it's you. That isn't ironic at all by the way.


sorry if this is too long!! basically to start with, i have broken up with my boyfriend jayson (he broke up with me) basically we have known eachother prety much a year or so now, we have always been attracted to eachother like we kissed & stuff but he always said he werent ready for a relationship. hes been hurt a lot in the past, been cheated on etc so i said i understand.

we never dated, but we were more than friends if ya get me...we were forever falling out and making up again a week later. he ALWAYS had mood swings..one min he was nice the next he werent. he smoked marijuana a lot and still does. all of his friends say he confuses them! any way we stopped speaking for 2/3 months, i tried to get over him but just couldnt. any way he saw me out one day and he was like im really sorry for how i treated you etc i still like you a lot. so we started talking again...and a few weeks later we started dating. he said seeing me made him realise how much he liked and missed me. everything seemed to be going great to me, he didnt have any mood swings with me at all we both got along really well. he still had mood swings with his friends, though. he fell out with them a few times while we were dating.

so we were dating for nearly 3 months,(his longest relationship, for some reason he said he always messes up) and he started to act weird towards me, didnt speak as much etc. so i asked him what was wrong and he said he was just really confused. i asked how he felt about me and he said i like you a lot but i just dont know what i want anymore. i gave him a week to think and gave him the opportunity to break up with me and he said he wanted more time to think. then he said that he thought i liked another guy (he always said i liked someone else even before we were dating) he always said i was too good for him which is why i think he thought i liked someone else. any way i asked him to make his mind up soon because it was playing with my emotions. a few days later he said he really likes me but he thinks we should break up because he doesnt feel like it is going anywhere and he blames himself for that because he has been confused and messed up in the head lately, and he said he knows it will take time to get over me and it will be hard.

i pretty much love this guy, i could never get over him even when we stopped speaking so its going to be harder now. my questions are:
- because he smokes marijuana a lot do you think this is why he is confused about the way he feels? messed up in the head? etc
- people keep saying we will get back together because we always used to fall out, i dont agree with this but how can i get over him?
- do you think he genuinely liked me and its marijuana messing him up? he told me himself he can never stick to a relationship for some reason he always messes it up

thanks!! sorry for it being so long!! (link)
It sounds like your boyfriend may suffer from bi-polar disorder. Marijuana doesn't cause major mood swings, confusion or paranoia the way you describe. I'd suggest you check out some sites and get more info on this chemical imbalance. If he does have bi-polar the symptoms a fairly easy to identify once you know what they are. This is a really tough disease to maintain a relationship through. Bi-polar people can be crual, distant and very confusing to be around. I was very much in love with a woman who had bi-polar. Despite my feelings I couldn't stay in the relationship because of her mood-swings, cruelty and refusal to seek medical help. Good luck.


I will keep this as short as possible. Basically my boyfriend and I are going through a bit of a "rough patch" We've liked eachother since almost a year ago, but we never got together. He was never really sure what/who he wanted. He always told me
he really liked me, but when I first met him he had split up with his girlfriend 2 days before. He wasn't too bothered about it, I remember asking him why and he said she was a "b*tch" We carried on as friends and he mentioned her on a couple of occasions, usually saying bad things about her e.g. pranking calling him all of the time. Around September time me and him fell out, because I really liked him and although he said he liked me, he weren't ready for a relationship. Whilst we had fallen out I know he was in contact with his ex girlfriend again, but they never got together. 3 Months ago he apologised to me, he said he really missed me, liked me etc. His ex girlfriend went crazy when she found out we were together, he told me that she had sent him a text message saying he was a jerk and all this. I asked why she was so bothered if they'd split up almost a year ago, he said they'd started talking again but she was a "b*tch" I know she always wanted him back, so I was really happy when he was ready for a relationship...and with me. I feel like she's caused problems between us though. I don't know for sure though. One of his good friends Carmen is friends with her, so whenever my boyfriend goes to these parties his ex is always there. I was glad that he told me that she was there instead of hiding it from me, he said that she asked why he used to be in moods with her etc. But he told me that he refused to speak to her until his friends told him to stop being mean. He has been to a few parties where she has been, and I know he wouldn't of cheated on me with her, but it makes me wonder what she has said to him. The past week my boyfriend has been confused about his "feelings" I asked him if he still wanted to be with me and he said he didn't know how he felt. Am I being paranoid or will his ex have something to do with this? (link)
Ultimately you should probably leave this guy. It doesn't sound like he knows what or who he wants. The whole thing sounds pretty fishy to me. At the very least you should probably tell him you're taking a break from the relationship until he gets his head straight and figures out what he wants. If he doesn't know that he wants to be with you one hundred percent than he's not worth your time or effort.


There's this kid I was diggin for like a week but he's to shy and wouldn't do anything to move "us" forward so I gave up. One last final thing, my friend messaged him on facebook and asked if he was attracted to me in any way and he said not really so now I know I'm done with him. However, she said every time she'll talk about me in gym, he'll smile when she says my name. Why is that? He said he doesn't like me and I'm fine with that because I'm over him but why does he smile at the sound of my name? (link)
You should ask him out. If you know he's shy you shouldn't really be expecting him to make the first move. If he smiles at the sound of your name he's interested without a doubt. Body language is more insightful when it come to emotion than words. Without knowing what your friends intentions were he was probably just playing it safe and protecting himself from possible ridicule be saying he didn't find you attractive. If your friend had asked "Do you like so-and-so because she really likes you?" he probably would have answered differently.


My mom doesn't like who I am or who I hang out with very much. She tells me I'm going through a teenage phase and can't wait till in out of this 'hippie' phase. Yeah, I'm almost 18, not 13. Then, when I try to express how I feel about how judgemental she is or how I wish she'd accept me for what I like, she makes a big joke out of it. She'll be like "oh yeah I forgot I don't know you, your only my daughter" when really, she doesn't. I realize that was a teenage remark, but she doesn't know experiences I went through, like how I was almost raped at a high school party when I was fourteen which was known about me all through high school and I never had a boyfriend or even many friends. So I
made friends with really nice 'hippie' kind of kids. They were the only ones nice to me through high school and yeah you get it. How do I tell her that it's the things I like and I'm not trying to be anything and make her understand?

I can't tell her about the rape thing because it would upset her and I'm over it. (link)
Unfortunately some people just aren't the best parents. Sounds harsh but it's true. I know it's easier said than done but just block out her judgments. If you're comfortable with who you are and your friends are good and accepting people then you've got alot more going for you than most. Your mom doesn't accept you because she doesn't want to and odds are there isn't anything that will change that. Focus on the fact that you're on the cusp of going out and starting your own life.


I'm fifteen, so is he. I think he's really cute. I'm hearing he's a huge druggie. He smoked and drank and everything. Now, we haven't talked yet and I'm not planning to until I know for sure he stopped all his drugs. I will not sink so low as to go out with a drug addict. I think he could be a really cool guy, I see him outside of school with his friends, all of them are smoking except him so that's a good sign but I don't want our first conversation to be "so, are you still a druggie? ok, cya." Don't say "get to know him first then work your way up to asking him" because I feel no matter how long we've been talking that question will always be awkward. Also don't say "ask one of his friends" because alllllllllllll of his friends smoke and I don't know any of them. Sorry if it's difficult to answer because I probably eliminated the top answers for my question. I just want to know how do I find out if he's still doing drugs before I start to like him more? Thanks! (link)
Someone being "cute" isn't really enough of a reason to want to start a realtionship. It seems like you don't really know anything about this guy except that he was a drug addict in the past and may still be a user. Not a good start. I'd leave it alone and look for someone with similar interests to your own.


16/f
me and my boyfriend have been going out 6 months, but i always feel like he should be with someone else. i even IMAGINE him with other people sometimes, i always have the feeling like he deserves someone better then me, because he IS ONE of the good guys.. hes even too perfect. He's good looking, athletic, and takes care of me. I'm the screw up, i'm really insecure and i dont express my feelings because i had a really bad relationship before him. I just can't change the way i am, damage has been done. Even at parties he always wants to hang out and have me by his side, but im the dumb ass who drinks and socializies with everyone but him. UGh i love him but its hard, knowing he deserves someone better. WTF do i do. (link)
As a guy there is nothing worse than being in a relationship and having someone break up with you because they say you are too good for them. This makes absolutly no sense to us. If that was the case he wouldn't be with you to begin with. Are you really going to lose this great guy because you can't stop clinging to the memory of some loser who did you wrong? Don't blame your shortcomings on a past relationship. If you're not showing him the attention he deserves that's your choice. It has nothing to with how someone in the past treated you. Grow up a little bit, put the past in the past and take ownership of your faults. I'd suggest talking to your school counseler about your past relationship and how it's making you feel now. Build up your self-esteem. If you don't feel like your worth it then eventually he won't either.


ok i've been rele horny lately.. and i've been having sex with my boyfriend aggressively i mean i don't think he minds but i don't like it..how do i stop becoming as horny all the time? i mean i dont watch porno and im as average as average can get? i dont get it? (link)
So what's the problem? As long as you two are being responsible and safe you really have nothing to worry about. Sex in a monogamous, committed relationship is a perfectly acceptable display of affection. The increase in sexual desire you are experiencing is just something your body is going through and will level out on it's own. I think you should really be asking why you are afraid of your own sexuality.


i found out my best friend likes me.. but i dont like him!! i like one of his good friends tom. but hes sweet and pretty good looking but i dont think hes boyfriend material. i went 2 a party with him and some of his friends and my friends and i was kinda flirting with tom and you can tell he was getting jealous and now he doesnt wanna talk 2 me, but tom gave me his phone number nd now we talk non-stop!! i dont know what 2 do! please help me!!!!! (link)
Your best friend has probably always had these feelings for you. Like many guys he got stuck in the friend zone and didn't know how to change it. While I'm sure you two have developed a genuine friendship odds are he's been hoping for something more from the start. Try to put yourself in his shoes. I'm sure he's jealous but he's most likely feeling betrayed and that you've lead him on also. This is one of troubles that stem from friendships between the sexes. Simply explain how you feel to him but bear in mind he's feeling pretty embarassed right now. The girl he's had a crush on is now getting romantic with his good friend. His whole world just fell apart. Be prepared for the fact that you may have lost your friend. In the future you should remember that there are very few men who are just looking for friendship from a woman. Most want more but don't know how to make that clear without the rick of rejection. Good luck.




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