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Brother problems. <<< Previous Question
Next Question >>> Sarajevo Haggadah

I like this kid..


Question Posted Tuesday April 6 2010, 6:16 pm

I'm fifteen, so is he. I think he's really cute. I'm hearing he's a huge druggie. He smoked and drank and everything. Now, we haven't talked yet and I'm not planning to until I know for sure he stopped all his drugs. I will not sink so low as to go out with a drug addict. I think he could be a really cool guy, I see him outside of school with his friends, all of them are smoking except him so that's a good sign but I don't want our first conversation to be "so, are you still a druggie? ok, cya." Don't say "get to know him first then work your way up to asking him" because I feel no matter how long we've been talking that question will always be awkward. Also don't say "ask one of his friends" because alllllllllllll of his friends smoke and I don't know any of them. Sorry if it's difficult to answer because I probably eliminated the top answers for my question. I just want to know how do I find out if he's still doing drugs before I start to like him more? Thanks!

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000echo000 answered Sunday April 11 2010, 7:02 pm:
I have a similar issue but you have to realize that knowing someone first does help, even if you don't want to do that. Looks aren't everything and the rumors you hear are most likely true.

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BRobb answered Wednesday April 7 2010, 2:19 pm:
Someone being "cute" isn't really enough of a reason to want to start a realtionship. It seems like you don't really know anything about this guy except that he was a drug addict in the past and may still be a user. Not a good start. I'd leave it alone and look for someone with similar interests to your own.

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DeeplySetting answered Wednesday April 7 2010, 12:55 am:
Dear I like this kid,

It is outstanding that you have a criteria! I've asked some people I know about their criteria for eliminating or accepting a companion in their life, and they have none. What that means is that they don't place any value on themselves and are willing to take whatever comes along. You have your own standards, so remember, there are a MILLION cute faces in the world we live.

Therefore, the answer to your question is actually not difficult at all. Make your exit-stage left. People who do the same things hang out together. In other words, a "druggie" hangs out with other druggies because they will not be judged. Their lifestyle will be accepted. An ex-druggie is gonna hang out with people who are trying to NOT use drugs anymore. It takes great will and encouragement to stop doing something you get pleasure from doing-regardless what it is. Therefore, hanging with people who use is not what a clean and sober person does.

If you get involved with him, you will always wonder if he has started using again. Trust me, you do not want this drama of investigating a person all the time. There is someone for you who has the same standards as you do. In the meantime, have fun looking at all the cuties until the right one comes your way,

Take care,
DeeplySetting

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