My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset
Occupation: Housewife/Mother/Counsellor/Volunteer
Member Since: April 20, 2006
Answers: 798
Last Update: February 17, 2009
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To start 17/m,
I have a SERIOUS problem that is going to destroy me if I don't do something quick. For those of you that are familiar with the wheel of fortune e.i. "What goes around comes around" my entire life is on the verge of falling apart. I have just realized that I'm slowly turning into the monster I always said I would never become. Nothing but sarcasm spews from my mouth, I say horribly mean things to all my friends and loved ones. I told myself last year "I'm never gonna be like my brother because I'm shy, overweight and ugly." My brother would also tease me about that. Now its the opposite. I don't know what to do. I have this feeling that my entire life is going to circle the drain here very soon. So any advice can and will help, thank you. (link)
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I think you have suddenly realised just how angry you are about being "shy, overweight and ugly" and are now hitting out. It is not necessarily a bad thing to realise that you don't have to take it anymore, but it is how you are dealing with it that is the problem.
As a suggestion, write down everything you like about yourself - ie. beautiful eyes, loyalty to others, a good brain etc. and believe the things you have written.
Take time to count to ten before you reply to what is said to you or recite a little mantra/poem before opening your mouth which will give you some thinking time.
Try taking up a martial arts like judo or Tae Kwon Do to deal with your pent-up anger. Even going for a run will help dispel those feelings of anger before they overpower you.
As for the sarcasm, if you say something that you know is bad, acknowledge it by saying you just heard what you said and it came out wrong/badly and apologise. It will take a little time to turn this around but you will succeed because you want to. Have faith in yourself and believe that you are a good person.
Take care and have a lovely Christmas.
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ok, so there's this guy at my school that i like. he recently told me he liked me in an e-mail. so we talked and he asked me out and i said yes. but he doesnt want anybody to know he likes me because he is black and i am white. what should i do? (link)
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He needs to realise that it is better for you both to have an open, honest relationship from the beginning. He should not feel ashamed for having a relationship with someone of another ethnic origin. Try talking to him about it and maybe you could reach an understanding that whilst the relationship is new, you take things slowly at first before meeting up with parents/friends etc. I wish you both the very best and have a lovely Christmas.
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my mom and step dad broke up, so this christmas it's just me, my mom, and my sister. We'll be filling her stocking this year and i'm jsut wondering if anyone has suggestions what to put in it. little things, they don't have to be really cheap, but not too expensive either, just fun stuff.
thanks (link)
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How about some bath salts or talcum powder. Tights or stockings if she wears them and maybe a scarf. She may also like some little books to read or puzzles if she likes to do them. Your Mum will love whatever you put into her stocking. Have a lovely Christmas.
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i am TERRIFIED of giving birth. i'm only 15 and i'm not pregnant or anything but it always makes me really nervous whenever i think about birth. if you have given birth can you describe it for me? like:
1) did it hurt? (if yes how much)
2) did anything umm... rip (lol you know where i'm talking about)
3) would you go through it again?
thanks!!!
(link)
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I agree with YoungGrandma in that yes it hurts but it is so worth it. I did it three times and if it wasn't for my husband saying no I would have had another baby. It truly is a magical moment when you hold your newborn in your arms and then everything you just went through disappears.
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okay, my mom has been ragging on me alot lately. everything i do sets her off. i mean, i miss one paper in school and it's like the sky is falling. supposedly i have a smart mouth and i admit sometimes i do but not all the time, like she thinks i do. i'm seriously thinking about running away. what should i do?
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Definitely do not run away - that would just cause so many problems for you and a lot of heartache for your Mum. It may seem like a good solution at the moment but it is not the answer.
Your Mum loves you and wants the best for, but sometimes even Mums have a hard time explaining why. The words may not come easily or she may have a lot on her mind too.
Only when we are grown up and have responsibilities do we realise that we should have made the most of schooling and childhood. Life is never easier or happier than when someone else has to do all the worrying about everyday living and paying the bills.
If you miss a paper - promise her you will catch up and do your best not to miss one again. Tell her you love her and understand why she loses her temper and will do your best at school. If you know you have a smart mouth, remember that your words can hurt. If you think your Mum won't listen to you if you talk reasonably to her, try writing a note to apologise or explain.
Talking quietly will always diffuse a tense situation more easily than runnning away screaming. Try counting to ten and listening to what your Mum says. The more you listen to her the less likely she is to go off on one at you.
Always remember that time never stands still and one day you will quite likely be in the same position with your own child as you are now. Nothing ever lasts so you must make the most of today and sooner than you realise, your childhood life will be long gone along with the security provided by your parents.
I wish you all the very best and hope that you think hard before taking any action that is likely to cause you harm. Take care.
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I have been feeling so sick lately, and I have so many physical, mental, and emotional problems with myself, but my parents don't care enough to schedule a doctor's appointment for me. can i schedule one myself and go to the doctor without my parents, or do i REALLY need my parents to make it possible?
my parents won't take me, and I am really concerned about my overall health. Someone help me out, please! Thanks in advance!
And I am a minor, if that helps. (link)
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Even though you are a minor, you are entitled to make an appointment to see your doctor. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone why you wish to see your doctor and they won't betray any confidences that you tell them.
I am sorry that your parents won't help you out, but should the doctor feel it is necessary to speak to your parents, they will ask your permission to do so before your doctor contacts them.
I hope that you can sort out your health worries and ease your mind very soon. I wish you all the very best.
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whats a hickey? (link)
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A hickey is another name for a love bite. It is where one person sucks hard on the neck of another person and produces a red mark. It is meant to be a sign of love or affection but it is really only a bruise. Personally I don't like them, but everyone has their own opinion. Hope I helped.
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Okay so my entire company is going to a club downtown and they are all legal. I decided that I should be a good person, not drink illegally since everyone else is going to be a drunken fool and be the designated driver.
Everyone looks forward to this Christmas party for the entire year. They all want to get hammered and all these people who I am driving are really bad drivers anyway and drive BMWs that probably aren't good candidates for getting recked.
So there are two couples who are 26 and they're being driven by one of the girl's bf. I drive the rest.
Since Sunday, we have been snowed in to our necks. I literally haven't stepped outside the house because the snow plow never made it and we got about 9 inches up here because we live on the hill.
I got my license less than a year ago. My dad bought me a 2007 Honda Civic Coupe. Downtown is 45 minutes away. I am driving one guy, and three girls (who are all going to be hammered). It's probably still going to be snowing on Saturday, I've never driven in the snow.
My car is the only car I can drive and it only has all-weather tires and I don't have the guts to drive down and get snow tires because the shop is 20 minutes away.
What are my chances of survival and how can I increase them? (link)
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My first suggestion is that you ask your Dad to drive you down to get some snow tyres for your car and then once they are fitted, drive back home and see how you cope.
If you feel that you really do not want to drive in the snow (I know how you feel because I hate driving in snow and ice and will avoid it at all costs), then I suggest you be honest and tell your friends that you fear driving because of your inexperience in this treacherous weather. Explain that you do not want to risk having an accident and would prefer it if someone else could drive or pool together and book a taxi.
Also, if you explain how you feel to your Dad, is there any way he could help with lifts?
To increase your chances of survival, your really need to get out there and feel the road covered in snow and learn how to drive out of skids etc. Experience will only happen if you have the courage to go out and face the weather, but that is easier said than done. Also, because all your friends will be a little worse for wear whilst you are driving, you will not be able to ask them for sensible advise should you get into difficulties.
In your shoes I would play it safe and go on small trips until you have learnt to handle your car in these conditions.
Good luck.
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okay, i've been on the pill for about 3.5 months now. if my boyfriend doesn't wear a condom when we have sex, and he ejaculates in me, what are the chances that i'll get pregnant? (link)
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I suggest that you carry on using a condom purely so that you double your protection against falling pregnant. I know that you probably want to have sex without using one, but it is a sensible precaution. The pill can stop working if you are sick, taking certain medications or if you forget to take one occasionally. I am not saying that you should always use double protection, but just whilst you are still young enough not to want a baby yet. If you get carried away in the heat of the moment and don't use a condom, then you are still protected and shouldn't have any problems. All the best.
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I know that everyone will probably ask this same question, but it's worth a shot.
I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 1 year and a half, so this would be our 2nd christmas together. Last year I made him this REALLY cute scrapbook with like the story of how we met with "100 Reasons Why I Love You" printed on separate pictures of us. He loved it, and for our 1 Year annivserary I made him this picture frame with the lyrics from "Such Great Heights" by the Postal Service on it. He also loved that, but I'm just stuck of Christmas again.
Should I GET him something? I was thinking about a watch, or a wallet.
Or should I make him something again. [Suggestions also on WHAT to make?]
Or how about both?
Thank you so much.
--tekcor (link)
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How about a compilation of your favourite music with readings by you about your love for him.
However, something personal that you have bought him would also be nice given with a music tape.
Hope that helps a little.
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I've been seeing this girl for a while now and things are getting serious. We've talked and I think soon we're going to have sex. But I have a problem. I'm really insecure about the size of my penis. I'm not stupid, I know size matters, but how much does it matter? I mean, is it possible to be good if you aren't average or bigger? (link)
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Technique and the ability to turn on your girl with your hands and mouth are more important to her. The size of your penis is not a problem if you know how to turn her on. The female body and psyche respond more to external touching and teasing than to internal thrusting.
Lots of kisses, caresses, cuddles and sweet talk to begin with will help set the mood. Telling her she looks and smells good will also help. Turning on the mind as well as the body is the best way forward.
Please don't get too hung up on the size of your penis - most women really do not mind how big/small it is when they love the guy that comes with it.
Good luck.
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ok im almost 17 and last night i had sex with no condom i live in Albany Oregon do any one have any tips on how long to wait to take a home test, any free clinics, and any other things.
please help me and my boyfriend need ur help.
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Please Google www.levonell.co.uk which a site about the morning after pill and it will be able to help point you in the right direction.
It is a pill that can be taken within a certain amount of time to help prevent a pregnancy.
Good luck.
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I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. What should I expect the doctor to do??Is he going to touch me. (link)
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It would really depend on what you were going to see the doctor about. Can you offer any more information?
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u answered my question, but did u even read it, i dont like my friends boyfriend i like her boyfriends friend and the girl he likes isnt my friend so next time u answer a question get the fact straight k?
read it again
i dont like my friends bf i like HIS friend. (link)
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I read it again and yes I have made a mistake. I sincerely apologise.
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i have a friend at wokr whos ex called her, and after a long talk he asked her to marry her, she's 16 and hes 18, she does not want to be with him and such. and she told him that but he will not let up, he said he was sorry, but like i told her, he blow his chance... soo what should i do, going with waht i'm going to do? or other ways? (link)
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I think your friend needs to confide in her parents. They will be in a better position to stop this guy from hassling her. 16 is way too young to consider marriage, especially with someone she clearly does not want to be with.
If he becomes very persistent, she can go to the police or she can get a solicitor to write a strongly worded letter telling him to back off.
I think that you are doing a great job by supporting your friend. Just by standing at her side and presenting a united front will continue to help her cope.
Being able to confide in you is also going to be a great benefit to her. Keep up the good work and good luck.
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ello there. i am 17, a virgin, and getting married next month hopefully. i don't want to sound like a complete idiot, but i need to find out bout riding top when having sex. does the girl do most of the work or does he do it. and how exactly does it work? thanx for the help
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Congratulations on your forthcoming marriage.
Riding on top means that the girl is mostly in control and she can feel the penis better. The best way to start is by straddling your husband over his lower stomach and slowly move down towards his penis and then take him inside. Once you have allowed penetration, usually feelings will take over and you can control how fast/slow you want to take things.
I wish you a long, adventurous and very happy life together. All the best.
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hello, well i have very serve anxiety disorder to the point where i need anxiety medication aka depression medication....i wanted to know what are the side effects and is it ok to drink alchol on them...im pretty young 16 and im very little 5'2 100 pounds....if that makes a difference....im not sure what medication im getting but i heard the side effects are all pretty much the same
thanks (link)
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It is not a good idea to mix any medication with alcohol. I would suggest that you discuss your concerns with the person prescribing your medication. They will be in a better position to advise you on this matter.
Good luck.
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so. my friend just got this new bf. and hes amazing, we were chillin one day and i met his friend,at that moment i knew i had to have him.not only is he amazingly gorgeous but hes sweet anf funny and i just cant describe it. he comes from a rough-ish homelife and hes still amazing i see through his "tough guy" act i see him for what he is for who he is. BUT of course he doesnt even think of me in that way, not even close, hes like in love with this other girl and it tears me apart, i reeeeeeeeeeeeeally like him but im cluless as to what im supposed to do, how do i win his heart??????? (link)
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How would you feel if your friend tried to take your new boyfriend away? You honestly cannot do anything about it except wait and see if they last.
I know that it will be hard if they become a solid item, but he is not your boyfriend and it would be very selfish of you to try to take him from her. If you did succeed in winning him away, the victory would be soured by losing the friendship you have with your friend.
If, and only if, they do not make a success of their relationship could you ask her if she would mind your asking him out.
Please think hard about any decision you may make, but I wish you well.
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my female roommate in an all girls group home raped me, well idk if she really raped me. at first she did then i really liked it. what should i do. be mad or happy to have finally gotten laid. (link)
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In your case I would put it down to experience. However, what if a guy had raped you and you liked that too? It puts a different perspective on things. Do you feel raped and abused? If you do perhaps you ought to report it to someone. You say though that you "really liked it" and unfortunately that will do you no good in a court of law.
I think that you need to have an honest talk with your roommate and get things sorted out. Tell her exactly how you feel now about the incident. You may also need to look at changing roommates if you think it could happen again.
Be honest with yourself and honest with her and maybe you could sort this out amicably. Good luck.
It is a difficult thing to answer because it is conflicting in that you were raped, but you then enjoyed it.
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ok well when my father lived with us we would get invite to all family events. now we dont. wat, my and I brothers arent part of my fathers family. wat do you think I should say to him and his family?, because I like my family and hanging out at events. i was going to send an email to all of his family sayng Im sick of this shit and rreally pissed off!!, not getting invited to anything anymore this is rediculuos that his kids dont get invited to anything i dont mean to swear at all but i Just want to show u how mad about not getting invited to anything i am.
sooo wat do u think i should do about this? Is the email is a good idea? (link)
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I don't think that an angry email will get you very far. It would be better if you could write a letter to your father explaining how you feel about family events.
He may not even realise that you and your brothers still want to be part of his family. If you don't tell him how you are all feeling, how is he to know?
I can understand your frustration and anger, and the need to vent it all out, but please take a deep breath and calm down a little.
If your father still does not want to invite you all to the family events, it might be better to start a few 'family events' of your own.
I wish you all the best with this.
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