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March 16, 2006Answers:
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advice
My school is having Roaring 20's day. The girls have to dress up like flappers. The thing is, I don't know what to wear, or where to get my costume! Any body have any suggestions on where I can get the right clothing that's appropriate for the time era, or give me some idea as to what I should get? Thanks!
Vintage and thrift shops are a good place to start, so you aren't spending an arm and a leg for something you're only going to wear once. Feather boas...Long beaded neckclaces, feathers in your hair...Try searching flappers on the web. Do an image search on them. More than likely you can already create half your costume with the stuff you already have. Try costume shops too.
My hair is unmanagable.
Even when I straigten it, it is all frizzy and poofy. Its so frustrating.
I hate it.
I heard on advicenators someone telling someone else you can get your hair permanantly straightened in a salon for like 75 bucks. I don't want to get in Japanese straightened because it costs a lot of money. If I get it done at a salon for 75 bucks, how long will it last?
Does it really work?
I wouldn't get it chemically straightened. My hair is naturally curly and crazy ala Don King. Ugh. I did the straightening thing once. It caused a lot of breakage and my hair looked like hay. Maybe I just had a bad experience, but it's enough to keep me from doing it again. Remember, any chemical processes down to your hair are going to weaken the shaft a bit.
If your hair is dry, deep condition once a week, and leave it in for about 15 mins or so. Put a hot towel over your cap in order to get the treatment to penetrate. There's times I'll sleep with the treatment in with a showercap on my head.
I also use a straightening iron. If you go that route, make sure you get one that is ceramic to reduce breakage and damage. Do a blowout before you straighten it for best results. Make sure you use a protective spray before hand meant for heat styling. Don't aim the dryer TOO close to your hair..I know, you sort of have to to keep it from blowin all over the place and looking crazy, but if you aim too closely you'll cause damage. If you decide to wear your hair naturally, use a diffuser and use frizz controlling serums. They add shine and definitely help with manageability.
i have these bad dark circles under my eyes, and i've tried like everything you can tihnk of. right now im using benefit concealer but its kind of cakey....does anybody know of good dark circle concelar? im just frustrtated that every single morning even when i get like 10 hours of sleep, i look like i pulled an all nighter.
thanks guys.
The skin under your eyes is extra thin...I have them no matter how much I sleep. I've tried all sorts of brands, it really doesn't matter. The key to finding the right one is -- if the circles are a blueish or grayish, try finding a concealer with a yellowish undertone. If the circles are brownish, try one with a bluish or pinkish undertone. If you wear foundation, choose a concealer that's one shade lighter than it. And, don't blend the concealer too close to your lower lids. It looks unnatural and really showcases that you're tryin to hide those circles, lol.
i have myspace but everytime i get a new layout, the words on my about me section blend in with the background. how do i change this without changing my layout?
Change the text color or font, and make sure you put in in every section to make sure links are disabled. For some odd reason I've discovered when you don't do that, everything blends in together or just leave little dots.
Okay last year during spring break I met a boy through my best friend we went out for almost 2 months except he lives about hours away & we met up once in NYC anyway I fell really hard for him, after he dumped me he got with another girl & they have been together ever since it's been almost a year since I've met him & almost around 10 months since we broke up. I was in shock for about 2 months then I went into depression & then shock + depression. I lost about 15lbs. and I seriously had psychological problems, I was so close to being put into an hospital. Now the thing is at the time I was 14 & he was 18 now I'm 15 & he's 19, I really do love him I mean I don't even known how to explain this. He's the first person I think of & last, and every minute in between. My heart has been crushed, stepped on, crushed even more but I just can't move on. Guys I've liked for YEARS want to go out with me but I just can't move. Why is that? Any good ideas to help me moving on from this kid?
thanks
I know 4 years doesn't seem like a big age difference, but at 14, it is. He's college age, you're barely starting high school. First thing -- Next boy you decide to date, try one a little closer to your age.
I don't know why you went into such a funk, only you can answer that. There's people I still think of..quiet frequently. But the key is to NOT let it run your life the way it has. And the only way you can do it is with two things -- time and hobbies. It won't be easy, but with every day, it'll get a little better. Spend more time with friends, go out as much as possible and do all the things you enjoy. If you like to write, try poetry or even just keeping a journal. I've been keeping a journal for 10 years. I never look back at what I wrote. Never. It's a good way to sort out your feelings at the time. It's pretty therapeutic.
Perhaps your depression problem is rooted a bit deeper. Do you still feel that way? You might want to talk to your parents about it or another trusted adult. They may be able to give you some insight. It might not be a bad idea to look into some counseling as well. Sometimes an objective ear is all you need
Last night I had to spend the night with my sister. She is married and already has children. So while she was taking a bath I was looking on her phone and found Text messages that where from her husband (he has a driving job) and one said, "Talk Dirty To Me." and another one said, "Wouldn't you like to be licked all over?". I was so shocked. I mean I would have never thought of him acting like that. So I put the phone down and I just couldn't read anymore. I still feel shocked and horriable. I know she is married and has a right to do what she wants,and I shouldn't have been looking on her phone and nowI just don't know what to do. Any Ideas?? (She is 29, he is 30)
LOL.
I think it's great, personally. Some marriages lose their spark far too quickly.
No, you shouldn't have been looking. And if it made you feel like throwing up, it's your own fault for snooping.
There's nothing for you to do. She is a grown woman, a married grown woman with children and she's got the right to do as she pleases. Her sex life is no one else's business but hers and her husbands. You'll get over it. Just a little shocker. No one wants to think of their family in that manner. lol.
What are some reasons why a man would stay in a bad marriage? A friend of mine is married to an older woman who is mentally and financially abusive to him. She tries to control his friendships and won't let him talk on his phone to some of his friends. She has also isolated him from his family. She is a very bitter, jealous, vindictive woman. She is extremely unnatrractive because she's been smoking since she was 12. Her teeth are stained and her face is all wrinkled. She looks 20 years older than her real age (54). That part shouldnt matter except her personality is just as ugly. They have no children together, but she has two grown kids from her first marriage. They are both heroin addicts, and have stolen in total 6000 dollars from my friends credit card.
They use to run a cafe together and lost customers because they fought like cats and dogs. I heard they would scream at each other. I don't think he loves her, atleast not anymore. He's even admitted to customers that he hated having to put up with working with her everyday. I doupt they even have sex anymore. So my question is why do you think they are still together? Do you think he's afraid of what she might do to him if he left?
Do you know her side of the story? Do you talk with her? A lot of people don't like to tell the other side. And there's ALWAYS another side of the story.
If you don't, then it's unfair for you to be so judgemental. I've heard lots of sob stories from people where I almost grew to hate their partners...Until I finally got to see the other side of the spectrum. It takes two. I'm not saying he warrants the way she treats him. But he is a grown man and can make his own decisions.
Why people stay in abusive relationships, it's usually a self-esteem issue. You haven't mentioned how long they've been together, either. It's not easy to just let someone go from your life, it's HARD. I guarantee you things didn't start out that way, otherwise he would have never married her. So there's something there that KEEPS him there.
When he's fed up and strong enough to do it, he'll leave one day if that's what he wants. In the meantime, you can only be supportive friend. He might complain complain complain and never leave. It's his choice. Let him run his own life.
I don't want to offend anyone with my questions but theres just so much that doesnt make sense about god and religion. i really do want to believe but i dont understand somethings and it makes me think god cant exist becaus of these things that dont add up.
firstly evolution. humans evolved from apes, there's been loads of scienctific evidence and documentries about it and you learn about it in science. But the bible says adam and eve were the first man and woman, so according to religion evolution cant have existed, well not in humans anyway.
If god is so great and loves us all, why does he make people suffer? i mean even highly religion people. the pope sufferd loads before he died and he's about as religios as people get, so why would god make him suffer?
Also, if god is so great and loves us all, why does he send people to hell? i know some deserve it but surely he wouldnt want anyone to be sent to hell for eternity?
This last point is not something i thought of, it's something that was talked about on the radio but it makes you think. There are lots of religions, but if any, only 1 must be true and the rest of them are lies. people must have made some religions up because some say theres only 1 god, some religions have many gods and all different types of beliefs, so they cant all be true. i hope someone can help me, because its so confusing and i honestly do want to believe.
sorry, if i offended anyone, i really dont want to. its just so confusing.
thank you x
Everyone has their own set of beliefs. I don't think one person is any more right or wrong than the next. I'm always confused. Honestly, there's never a day I don't question it all. Some people might say I have no faith and obviously I'm a lost child or something. I don't pay attention.
No one can tell you what's right, because they don't know. What's right for them might not be right for YOU. We were all born with free will, the choice to live our lives the way we want to and live the way we feel is right. There's no right or wrong answer, no 'right' thing to believe in.
Some people need solid proof in order to believe in something. In my opinion, if you need proof of everything, then you're not living. It's sort of like love. It's a feeling, you can't touch it, you can't see it. You only feel it. And that's what faith is. A feeling, a conviction in something without it being physically right in front of your nose(some might disagree--but isn't that beauty of the world? ;) )
There's always going to be questions, doubts. Even the strongest of faith have their times when they're down and out and might lose faith. It's a part of being human and it doesn't make you a bad person.
My bf moved to another state for a job. We were still together when he left. He hasnt contacted me in 5 months, and I'm so tired of waiting around for him. I think he's been completely selfish not contacting me. I've finally come to the heartbreaking realization that it's over.
My question is how can I get over him so I can move on with my life? Everyone tells me I'm a pretty girl and can find another bf very easily.
The problem is I would feel really guilty if I started dating someone without letting my bf know. I need some sort of closure, but I have no way of contacting him because he shut off his cell and everytime I email him they get returned. Does anyone have any ideas?
Oh wow. This is wild, I went through the same thing.
5 months is a long time not to contact the person you're supposed to be with. When this person did this to me, he kept his number but anytime I called I'd get the voicemail, and my emails were never answered. I felt the same way, a need for closure. But if you have no possible way to get it, how can you? It seems that if you've got no way of talking to him, you can only get the closure from yourself. Which sounds weird, I know. If you've realized it's over, then that's exactly what it is. Over.
It seems he took a chicken shit way out of things. Instead of telling you that he wants to move on, move forward onto other things, he just avoids you at all costs. Unless something freak did happen(which is not too likely but still possible)...Even then, I would imagine someone would contact you and tell you(that's what i always hoped someone close to him would do).
What he did to you is cowardly and unfair. You have every right to move on and date other people and do as you please. I waited, too..Not out of guilt but out of hope, I suppose. Well hope crushed me a month ago when I finally spoke to him after TWO years. He acted as I though I was never anything to him, like he didn't know me. Which is a front but still heart breaking. Don't wait around. Life is too short to be pining over someone who doesn't even have the decency to call you after 5 months. I wouldn't try anymore. It's only going to upset you more and more everytime. Let it go.
I used to work out 7 days a week before I got my job at a large superstore. When I first got the job in Novemeber I stopped working out because the job was really tiring. Well at first I was losing weight because the job is quite phsyical and we do a lot of running around.
But Ive noticed in the last month that my jeans are skin tight on me that used to be loose. I don't know why I'm gaining weight, I've even started walking again after work and quit drinking diet pop, I am only drinking water and tea. I'm getting desperate to lose weight because I'm going to be a bridesmaid at the end of April.
Does anyone have any ideas why my weight is ballooning? And how I can lose about 15 pounds before the end of April?
I wouldn't say go back to working out 7 times a week, at least not right away. You're going to wipe yourself out quickly. Your job may be physical but it's still not as rigorous as your workouts were. When your body gets used to a particular routine, it's stops working to burn fat and you're sort of at a standstill. Go back to your workouts. But go slowly. Do one or two days a week at first, try doing it after work but with enough time to unwind before going to bed. Keep on with the water and tea, pop is nothing but a filler that just bloats you anyway. Do more muscle toning exercises. Cardio alone is not enough to burn fat. You need to balance it with muscle building workouts for the best results.
I have a chance to be on the Oprah Winfrey show. She is looking to interview people with a mental illness and I have schizophrenia. I have been published in other magazines before for how I have managed to live with my condition; but have never been on television.
Some of my friends are telling me to go for it; but I don't know if I want this much exposure. Does anyone have any reasons why I shouldnt go on the show? And Pros or Cons? I havent made up my mind yet!
Good question. I think the general public needs and deserves to be educated on mental illnesses. My friend is schizophrenic and I still don't understand much about it even after knowing him this long. I know HE would not do it, but he is a very shy and quiet type of person and sort of avoids the public eye. You've already been published in magazines and have been sharing your experiences with the world. Why not continue on? Knowledge is power. There's a lot of things I want to know and I know I'd definitely watch a show on that topic.
It's going to be rough since you'll be highly publicized. If you don't mind attention, questions, and everything else you can imagine..Then I don't see anything wrong with going on. It all depends on how you feel, if it's worth it or not. You've got a chance to tell your story and perhaps help some people who aren't as strong as you are, someone who's maybe not so comfortable with their illness. And that's a really good feeling. If you know you can handle the aftermath, I say go for it. Good luck.
sorry about spelling, but I am really considering getting my cartilage (spelling?) pierced around my birthday day (July 1st) and I know this is a stupid question but how bad does it really hurt, and I don't really remember getting my ears pierced because I was young. And also when you do get your cartilage pierced how long do you have to keep it in? Well, thanks and if theres any other information about getting your cartilage pierced please tell me
I got my cartilage pierced years ago...I had to take it out because it got infected, but my body rejects everything so I wasn't surprised. It didn't really hurt that much. It hurt more than a regular ear piercing, but not unbearable. Another thing...Some people still get their piercings done with piercing guns. This is a really bad idea. You should get it done by going to a tattoo/piercing shop where they do it with a needle. Cartilage piercings take longer to heal than regular lobe piercings. Here's a website with a little info about it -- http://www.infinitebody.com/gallery/ear/earcart.html
I will rate high..!
I have posted more questions about my relationship on this site before...
Recently me and my bf(23)are planning a trip to the caribean for december ..you know we want to get to families (has been a long time)and beside he wants to meet his son.
Things are very smooth between
me and him ...But the mother of his kid (his Ex) is working on my nerves ..We only know eachother from msn and yet she is very rude to me sometimes (long story..)
And she do not have to because I am a very sweet and patient person.
But my question is
I am very worried about december because we are going over there to meet his son ..I can imagine this is gone be kinda hard for me because they gone want to be alone (mother ,son and father)what should I do?..Should I just ignore this ..beside his son is gone be baptise december shouldI go to the party (baptise party)with him?
It may seems stupid but I am really worried..I do not know how to act when we go on this trip on december
I even ask him to go alone ..But than that would be unfair to my family because its a long time I haven't seen them
I really want him to enjoy this trip ..he deserve it.....I am gone be like ..: to many people on the table????...(that's a old saying from th caribean when there is people in a room who should not be there)...lol
Please answer me..I really need answer
Thank you!
Go! He's your boyfriend, and he wants you to be there with him. Not only that, but you have a perfect opportunity to see your family. That alone should have you feeling more positive about the trip.
The two of them are not together for a reason. Keep that in mind when you go. And if by chance they do want to be alone, you can take that time to catch up with your family. I really would not sweat it. You and your boyfriend have a good thing going. Treat the mother of his son with courtesy and respect. You don't have to like her or spend any time with her. But be civil. If she's rude to you, then everyone's going to be looking at her like she's some kind of a fool.
Go, have a good time, and enjoy yourself. Don't worry about things until the time comes..And even then, it is not worth your worries.
A married male friend of mine recently told me that although he finds a lot of the pornography out there offensive and that it made him sick; that he still struggled with it. Does this mean that he just admitted to me that he has a sex addiction? And also, does anyone else find it strange that he would be revealing this to me and not his wife?
Many men(and women) enjoy watching porn. It's totally normal and doesn't imply that someone has a sex addiction. Many people feel guilty about it for various reasons, mostly upbringing. Although it is nothing to be ashamed of.
No, he wouldn't necessarily tell his wife..I have several married male friends who confide in me. We're close and they trust me, and sometimes will tell me things they're not yet comfortable telling their wives. You're friends. He trusts you. It's a good thing, lol.
My bf is best friends with a guy that is just plain creepy. For one thing, he is 38 years old and still lives with his mother. He is also a pedophile, and only goes for very young girls. My bf has even told me that he's a pedophile, so I'm not making it up.
The thing that bothers me is that I've caught his friend staring at me inappropriatly at parties, and he's even winked at me. I had to give his friend a ride home once (because the loser doesnt have a car ) and he told me he liked me for a long time and told me to kiss him. I told him no, and after I dropped him off I told my bf what happened. My bf just laughed and didnt seem to take it seriously. I also heard a story that his friend used to stalk a waitress.
I really don't understand why my bf is still friends with this creep. Sometimes I feel that he'd rather be friends with him than me.
Should I give my bf an ultimateum and say it's either his creepy friend or me? Or would that be too controlling?
What Cary said :)
Why your boyfriend would be choosing to spend his time around a pedophile is beyond me. As if that isn't bad enough, the guy hits on you and your boyfriend laughs it off. A man like that hitting on you and he doesn't take it seriously. I'd have a REAL problem with that.
I can definitely understand why you'd want to issue an ultimatum. If it were me, he wouldn't be left with a choice, he'd just be left.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for alomost a year & a half. We are (were) supposed to get married next month. Last night we were talking and he told me something that he had been holding in since last summer that he wanted to get off his chest. I was pregnant last summer and miscarried, he told me he doesnt believe I was ever pregnant. This has hurt me so much, we are not little kids, in fact I am older than him (21 & 23) I would not make up such a horrible story, I was crushed when it happened and still cry at night sometimes when I think about it. He says he cant marry me till he has proof. Getting "proof" isnt a problem, but i feel now as though I cant marry him becuase he doesnt trust me and Ive always been told if you dont have trrust you dont have nothin. I Love him more than I could ever say and the thought of losing him upsets me to no end, but at that same time i feel so betrayed by him like im some kind of monster that would make up a story like that. What should I do? please help Ill rate!!
Miscarriage is such a sensitive issue to begin with...I, myself, miscarried with my last boyfriend, and at the time it happened, we were split up. When I told him about it, he thought I was making it up to put some sort of guilt on him for the way things ended with us. I wasn't even together with him and the pain he caused me by saying that, thinking I'd make it up JUST to do it, was unbearable. To think that the man I am engaged to wants PROOF of my miscarriage before he marries me just blows my mind.
As it's been said, if you don't have trust, you have nothing. I can see why you're doing some real serious thinking. I would be tempted to tell him to go to hell. You should not have to obtain any proof. Your word should be good for him as you're supposed to be the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. You need to make that very clear to him. Rough situation, girl, and I'm really sorry you're going through it. My best suggestion is to go with your gut, no matter how rough of a ride it'll be. Good luck.
does it sound like this guy likes me as more than a friend?
Well he had moved a couple of weeks ago. Before he moved we were usually in regular contact. He gave me his old computer before he left. He just got his internet hooked up. He gave me his private cell number, and also wanted to talk on msn messanger with me. In my experience, a guy won't volunteerly give out his private cell phone to a girl unless he's interested.
Well we started messanging each other a couple of days ago. When we talk it's usually for quite a long time; atleast an hour. He has been saying things like that he really missed me (with a crying face), and that he thought I was funny. I told him that I had a dream about the two of us a week ago and then asked if he ever did, and then he said he couldnt recall; but put a picture of a smiley face blushing. He also kept sending me winks and nudges. I also told him after my long shift last night that I wanted to soak in the tub and he sent me a smiley face with a huge grin and he said "GO FOR IT"! I also asked him if he liked talking to me on messanger and he said "for sure; you're a great person to know and talk to".
We talked for about an hour last night; and then he asked me what time I worked today because he wants to talk to me again.
So does it sound like there is something there more than a friendship? Or am I reading too much into it?
He possibly could. Or he may just consider you a really good friend. Give it more time to see which way it goes. If you have feelings for him, you could drop a subtle hint about it and gauge his reaction to it. I wouldn't straight ask him...I'd be kind of freaked out myself if someone directly asked me, especially if my feelings for them didn't extend beyond friendship. See how it goes.
Okay, a week ago, this guy who I barely even know (I don't even know his last name) sent me an e-mail declaring that he loves me and wants to be with me. I sent him a very polite decline, because I just do not feel that way about him at all, and now he keeps on e-mailing me with guilt trips about how he thinks he's going to be alone for the rest of his life, and he keeps telling me that he loves me. I suspect that he thinks that if he keeps doing this that I'll change my mind...I don't quite know how to deal with this. So far, I've treated him like I would want to be treated were I in his position, but he's starting to make me feel really uncomforatble. What can I do??
Thanks!
Don't respond to any more e-mails. Keep them saved just incase you may need them later(hopefully you won't!). I know you don't want to be rude, but if you feel harassed, then there's no reason why you shouldn't be a bit firmer with him. Blocking him would be ideal, provided that's the only contact he can have with you. Being passive with these types of people just doesn't work. You need to lay it on the line for him and get rid of him.
Okay, so I broke up with this guy (almost 2-year relationship) like...five months ago, or something. I fought with him about three months ago and said I'd give him space. Well I did, and I IM'd him tonight on a whim. It was stupid, I guess. I didn't expect him to be hostile, and I wasn't going to bring up the relationship, or the breakup, or anything, and HE did. He brought it up by asking me basically why the hell I was talking to him. I was worried about him when I broke up with him - I didn't exactly consider him the most emotionally stable at that point, and part of me wanted to know if he was okay, because I was the one who hurt him...so I told him that, and he said I didn't get to know how he was because I wasn't part of his life anymore, and shit like that.
Now, I have kind of a thick skin - I'm a performer, so I have to. He said that, and I said "if you can ever find it in your heart to forgive me, then I'd like to try being friends again," and then offered to leave him alone, and he said "thank you," and I closed the window.
...and then I started crying. Lol.
I don't understand why it upset me so much. I've dealt with ex boyfriends before, he's not the first...but he's the only one, it seems like, who isn't willing to try to bring back the friendship.
We're in college, so we're not in a situation where we see each other, and he has to admit that I exist. He doesn't - he's like all the way across the country.
So basically, I guess I'm asking - how do I deal with this? Why did it upset me? At this point, I have no idea what's going on with my head.
Help?
Good spelling and grammar is appreciated...
Some people are believers in "exes can't be friends". I don't agree, but I don't disagree either. It all depends on the people, on the circumstances.
Some people just can't bring a friendship back after they've split up. It's normal...Certain relationships that I've had, I have NO INTEREST in maintaining a friendship with them. It would be too hard, and too painful.
Remember, you broke up with him. He wasn't, as you said, very emotionally stable at the time. It's only been 5 months as well. He obviously still needs space. Talking to you brings up bad feelings for him, but it's not your fault. It's his own thing he needs to deal with, and will, with time.
Why would it upset anyone? You are, after all, a human being with feelings. Being rejected and shunned hurts. I would have cried the whole night away myself. It would have made me feel like a nothing. But that's the thing...If you were a nothing, he would have never been like that towards you. He seems to need longer healing time, and each time you two talk, it sort of reopens the wound. I can understand your side and his as well, I've been on both ends.
Your only solution IS to leave him alone. When/if he's ready, let him come to you. Otherwise you risk unnecessary pain for the both of you. He may never be ready. And that's ok. Chalk it up to fate and let it go.
Take care
13/f. Every day, I feel so lonely. It's like I'm an inanimate object. Nobody ever even seems to realize I'm alive. Nobody cares about me at all. I have no friends except my parents---that doesn't count. I try to make friends, but nobody ever gives me a second thought. In fact, I haven't had a single person at my house since I was 9. Nobody ever considers my feelings; if anyone has seen "Chicago," I feel exactly like the person singing "Cellophane." I cry like crazy every single evening at bedtime. It makes me want to do something outrageous just to see if someone would notice. Sometimes I wonder whether anyone would notice if I died. 5's to anyone who seems to emphathize...
Well, I've got 10 years on you, and sometimes I'm still in that exact same place.
I was a loner during my teen years. Mostly because I felt so misunderstood. Teenage angst, you might call it. In some ways, I still am a loner. I have as many real genuine friends as how many fingers I have on one hand. And I don't even need to use all of them. Real friendships are hard to come by.
It's hard to make friends, what's even harder is keeping them, even when you're older. Common interests are what usually bonds two people together as friends. Are you involved in any after school activities or clubs? People are everywhere..So are potential friendships. Already having something in common kinda breaks the ice. Get out as much as possible. Take on all sorts of hobbies. Not only will it take the focus off of this horrible feeling you have, but the opportunities for friendships may present themselves.
I know you don't really count your parents...But they can be an EXCELLENT source of support if you let them be. They might even make some suggestions about some activities you can take up(and sport the funds if need be)
Take care