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how can I date again after my heart was broken?
My bf moved to another state for a job. We were still together when he left. He hasnt contacted me in 5 months, and I'm so tired of waiting around for him. I think he's been completely selfish not contacting me. I've finally come to the heartbreaking realization that it's over.
My question is how can I get over him so I can move on with my life? Everyone tells me I'm a pretty girl and can find another bf very easily.
The problem is I would feel really guilty if I started dating someone without letting my bf know. I need some sort of closure, but I have no way of contacting him because he shut off his cell and everytime I email him they get returned. Does anyone have any ideas?
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You have got to be kidding me. Clearly it's over, and if he was going to give you "closure" then you would have already recieved it. Stop trying to contact him, at this point it's pathetic. Go out with your girls and keep yourself busy, in a few months you will gain some perspective and barely remember him name.
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Oh wow. This is wild, I went through the same thing.
5 months is a long time not to contact the person you're supposed to be with. When this person did this to me, he kept his number but anytime I called I'd get the voicemail, and my emails were never answered. I felt the same way, a need for closure. But if you have no possible way to get it, how can you? It seems that if you've got no way of talking to him, you can only get the closure from yourself. Which sounds weird, I know. If you've realized it's over, then that's exactly what it is. Over.
It seems he took a chicken shit way out of things. Instead of telling you that he wants to move on, move forward onto other things, he just avoids you at all costs. Unless something freak did happen(which is not too likely but still possible)...Even then, I would imagine someone would contact you and tell you(that's what i always hoped someone close to him would do).
What he did to you is cowardly and unfair. You have every right to move on and date other people and do as you please. I waited, too..Not out of guilt but out of hope, I suppose. Well hope crushed me a month ago when I finally spoke to him after TWO years. He acted as I though I was never anything to him, like he didn't know me. Which is a front but still heart breaking. Don't wait around. Life is too short to be pining over someone who doesn't even have the decency to call you after 5 months. I wouldn't try anymore. It's only going to upset you more and more everytime. Let it go.
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Okay I know this will go against all the other advice you've recieved. But contact him, or at least try. This is the voice of expereance speaking to you. Last year my BF stopped calling me and seeing me. I tried everything to get a hold of him. But it was like he just vanished. All my friends convinced me to move on and I did. A few months ago I got a really sad e-mail. It was my BF(ex by then) He told me he loved me and was sorry he left me with no explanation. His sister who lived in the States had killed herself. He went with his parents to win custudy of his sister's kids. I've never felt so bad in my life. So my advice is find out why he hasn't contacted you hey he might have a good reason.
Peace out,
DA
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So basically this guy has disappeared off the face off the face of the earth. I hate to say it, but this is your closure.
If you contact him now, what will it do for you? It will be awkward, embarassing, and probably depressing. He let you know it was over when he didn't make some effort to get in contact with you. He's the one who moved. He knows your phone number, your e-mail address... don't waste more time on someone who obviously doesn't care that much about you.
I wouldn't feel guilty about dating again. It's the best thing you can do in a situation like this... it wasn't meant to be with this guy, but there's always more than one out there. Get busy, involved in work or school (if you're in college or highschool or whatever)- do anything and everything to stop thinking about him. You will eventually, but this just moves it along faster.
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You need to get over this guy.. It's been five months since he contacted you. It's obvious that he wanted to end the relationship when he moved away, but wasn't man enough to tell you to your face. You should probably take a little time off from dating until you think you're ready to get back out there again. Breaking up is painful, and there's nothing you can do to change that. It's time to start living your life without your boyfriend in it... Just let him go. Go out with your friends and have a good time.. maybe go on a few dates. Go out and enjoy yourself.
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Why would you feel guilty? He broke up with you (in the most cowardly way possible, but he did). Even if he came back and still wanted you, he'd DESERVE to find you with another guy. Please, for the love of all that is holy, don't ever try to date this guy again. What a loser.
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if you can't get ahold of him and he hasn't contacted you, then it is over girl and he knows it. just don't think about him and start to go out with friends more and party. it may take a while for him to get out of your head but until he does just ignore your thoughts about him. you need to get on with your life b/c it sounds like he did a couple of months ago. so just go have fun and forget about him
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Buy a vibrator. Once you run out of batteries you can start looking for a new boyfriend guilt-free.
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First off recognize that the closure you are seeking is for yourself, so you can be happy and you can move on, it isn't for his sake. If you could do the polite thing and inform him of your decision, you know you would, but his bizarre and amazingly rude behavior has made that impossible. You shouldn't feel guilty for something outside of your control.
But for your own piece of mind, write him a letter ending it. Let it out, say what you want to say, revise it, perfect it and then fold it up and place it somewhere out of the way. Don't put it in a place where you will always see it, don't got back and read it again and again (if the idea appeals to you, burn it.)
Just know that when the letter is right and folded up and finished, the relationship is finished too. You did everything you could do the best you could do. No blame, no regrets, time to let it go.
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