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March 16, 2006Answers:
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OK, So I've read a article about not douching. It says that it takes longer for women to get pregnant and even when they do they have a higher chance of having a etopic pregnancy. Also it stated that you can get bacterial vaginosis (Kind of like a yeast infection) easier. This sucks after reading it because I ahve always douched. I don't ever FEEL clean until I do. Which is once a week or week and a 1/2. Can I empty the contents of the bottle and just use water? Is that any less harmful or about the same?
Douching is actually pretty bad for you. The vagina is self cleansing. When you use a douche, you basically are pushing bacteria deeper into your vagina. Also, it DEFINITELY can cause dryness issues. I hear what you're saying about the clean feeling, but it's not a good thing to do. Doctors have told me that if I perhaps want to douche after my menstrual cycle with a plain water or water and vinegar douche, it's ok...But they were still even against that. Douching is something that, if you MUST do, hardly do it, lol. Like I said, perhaps after you're done with your period. The scented stuff, eek! Stay away from it. Plain water, or water and vinegar(if you must).
I'm 15/f. I have selective mutism. So it's an anxiety disorder. I've had it since I was little.
And I haven't talked in school for like 9 years. I tried talking this year but the whole "heart beating, my voice cracking, my voice sounding different" didn't help. For some reason I feel like that but half of the time.. I really want to say something but I can't because then I remember "I dont talk to these people". I get weird reactions from people. "OMG, YOU TALKED!" and they scream and stuff...
So do you think there's some sort of medication for me? I really want to start talking. But my anxiety is holding me back. I have the whole summer to deal with this. Because I feel like I'm wasting my life away and I'm having no fun.. and I really want a job too... Help?
Hi there,
I wasn't entirely sure what Selective Mutism was, so I read a bit before answering your question.
From what I gather, selective mutism responds very well to cognitive behavioral therapy(which is, from selectivemutism.org) - CBT therapists help children change their thoughts (that’s the cognitive part) and their actions (that’s the behavioral part). CBT therapists recognize that anxious children tend to exaggerate the frightening aspects of certain situations, so they help the children gain a more realistic perspective in order to decrease anxiety. They also know that anxious children avoid situations they fear, or (in the case of selectively mute children) avoid speech in anxiety-provoking situations. Avoidance makes anxiety worse. Therefore, CBT helps the child overcome avoidance by gradually facing what is feared with lots of praise and positive reinforcement for doing so. Parents, teachers, and other adults around the child can be very helpful in this process.
It says medication is not always necessary for treatment, but can definitely be helpful. There are no particular medications that are FDA approved for children with SM, some doctors will prescribe it when it's thought to be safe and effective in particular situations. The best treatment may be therapy, meds, OR both. Depends on how you respond. As far as what kinds, SSRIs(such as Prozac, Zoloft, etc - meds that treat anxiety disorders). It also states that most kids will respond pretty well to low doses of their medication, so there more than likely won't be a need to increase the levels.
Have you had therapy in the past? Approach your parents about the ideas of therapy and medications. One or both could be so helpful for you. You're right, it's time to start living. Sort it out with your parents, I'm sure they're willing to do whatever they can to help you.
ok recently, my relationship with my mom has gone pretty much down the tubes.... it always seems like ive done something wrong or shes just mad at me idk... i am pretty moody a lot and i get mad and storm off and then when i come back shes like giving me the silent treatment... its annoying me and whenever im in a good mood, she just like looks all sad which makes me mad.. idk its strange but is there anything that i can do??
13/f btw...
thanks
You know, I still feel this way, and I'm 23. My mother and I have always been close, but because of that closeness, we tend to ride each other's nerves quite a bit. I'm moody as well...I used to do the same thing. Then when I'd be.."done" being moody and try to talk to her, she'd just ignore me.
As someone else mentioned, your mother MIGHT be going through menopause. That causes mood swings, hot flashes, general irritability, etc. It's not her fault or yours, it's just mother nature.
But before assuming that, try and talk with her. If you come at her seriously and ask to talk, her ears might just be open to listen. Ask if there's anything bothering/concerning her, and express your thoughts on how your relationship is sort of dwindling. Even if she may know the same, it opens people's eyes when they actually HEAR someone saying it.
hello violet. i am manish from india ,36 male going throug a tuff time in my life as last month my wife went to her parents n its almost 15 days she refused to come back.she had a litle hot debate with me on some silly matterbefore leaving.she used to go like this often in past also. well i like to know from u that wjhats best to prevent her doing this again n coming back to me. though let me tell u that i loves her like anything but some problems with her that she not ready to understands .
To be honest Manish, I sometimes do the same thing myself when I have a falling out with my boyfriend. What drives me(personally) to do it is the lack of communication, of understanding...If I am not understood and it looks like my boyfriend is making my points completely invalid, I get disgusted and stop trying.
Your wife needs to feel understood by you. What you thought of as silly might have been something very important for her. Try to see her points, no matter how much you feel the need to be right. If your wife feels understood, it's more likely she will not take off to her parents for weeks at a time(which I might add...Is a bit silly on her end. She also needs to realize running away constantly solves NOTHING..But who am I to say anything, I've done it myself).
You need to approach your issues with her in a calm way, one that doesn't point fingers or accuse. Take this time that she's gone to perhaps make a list of some sorts of the problems you two are having, and what can be done to resolve them. Pay attention to your words, make sure they are not sharp. It is not sometimes what we say, but how we say it.
I'm a white female in my 40s, have been married for 13 years. I have two childred from a previous marriage, and one with my husband now. I have several close friends of both sexes, and all races and ethnic backgrounds. My husband and I have a very trusting relationship without jelousy. I can talk to my male friends on the phone, meet them for lunch, a walk in the park, or go fishing with or without my husband. My husband treats all my friends with respect, as I do his. They are all good people in his book.
One particular hispanic male friend of mine got married a year after I did. I consider us great friends, we have a lot in common. However, his wife is a big pain...she would not approve of our friendship, I have tried to include both my friend and his wife in plans with my husband and myself, but he refuses to ask her due to how she acts. I don't want to create problems. He calls me all the time (from work) but because of her I have considered calling of the friendship. I don't want to be stalked by a crazy jealous woman, and to to tell you the truth from things he has told me I am quite intimidated.
He means so much to me, and our bond is like brother-sister, but I honestly want him to be open and relaxed with our friendship. I don't want to hide from her.
So my choices are to ignore him, and tell him it's for his own good. Or to continue being friends behind her back. He says he knows he is not doing anything wrong, and wants to continue the friendship, but I am worried because of her. Any advice for me?
Having been in a similar situation(me being in the position of your male friend), I can understand this very much and just how frustrating it is. It is just if not more aggravating for him.
I can see him not wanting to open up the flood gates. It will put plenty of strain on the marriage. But the fact that she controls his friendships is quite sad.
After struggling myself to keep hiding it, I finally just layed everything down on the line for the man I was with. I explained to him just how strong my bond was with my friend, and that I would continue with the friendship, whether he liked it or not. Oh yes, it put plenty of strain on us...But it was something I needed, wanted, and fought for(I never should have had to in the first place, but such is life).
I can understand your concerns. However, it is high time your friend says something to her. This tip-toeing around and what not isn't doing anything good. And aside from that, she quite obviously has a tight grip on him that will only get TIGHTER if he doesn't put his foot down NOW.
If he will not do it, then I would forget it. It's not worth some crazy woman possibly stalking and harassing you.
okay so i started taking antibiotics last saturday and finished taking them yesterday. i know that you're not supposed to drink alcohol when taking antibiotics but do you think it's safe to drink tonight? remember: i finished taking them yesterday.
and i'm of legal drinking age so don't lecture me about that.
Drinking while on antibiotics decreases the effectiveness of them. Most will say you can drink 24 hours after you take the last dose. Some, it might be longer. Just to play it safe, I usually like to wait 2 or 3 days after the last dose, since antibiotics are still working even after you've finished them. That's just a general rule I follow. I know you posted this yesterday, but for the future, call either your doctor or pharmacist. They'll be able to tell you if it's ok or not.
Hi, i'm only 15/f from NJ. I actually have quite a serious problem [i think] and i'd appreciate it if you could help me out =] So, for the past two years or so i've been having these outbreaks. they dont really hurt but i'm way to scared to go to the doctors and i know i should get over that fear. but, they wont go away and when i try to pop them just puss comes out. funny part, i never had sex then cause i'd be 13? so it was just me and my boyfriends 1 month && i got a bit tipsy that day and i think we had un-protected sex. i'm scared he'll get it and again i havent the guts to tell anyone. and just yeterday we had sex again but used protection. please help me! =/ thank you
-concerned teenager.
Well, I can't give you an answer even if you did give me more details, not being a doctor. You said you weren't sexually active when you started getting them. Do you shave? Ingrown hairs can cause pimple-like bumps that may puss when squeezed. Remember, that area is usually moist, and although the vagina is self-cleansing, the crevices can be a breeding ground for bacteria. Sweat and chafing can cause a lot of irritation. Also, some people get what are called sebaceous cysts. Which is basically an umbrella word for non-maglignant cysts(meaning it's not cancerous). They are usually flesh toned, and sometimes(but may not) ooze a foul smelling pus that's consistency is sort of like paste. It's usually caused from a swollen hair follicle. Your best bet IS to go to the doctor. I know it's scary, I have a fear of going, too. If you go and find out it's nothing big, you can rest your mind. And if it DOES turn out to be something else, your doctor will be able to treat you for it. So either way, you can ease your mind. It's better than freaking yourself out, right? Half hour at the doctors office and no more worries :)
It's bad to take naps but sometimes I just can't focus anymore and just lay down and sleep for 2 hours about and when I wake up I feel so crappy! Thirsty, with a headache, and bad. I don't know if it has to do with not eating breakfast and eating a medium sized salad for lunch and a junk food snack at 3 when I get home from school. Could it be Diabetes? Probably not but I am not sure of anything right now. This happens a lot.
One thing I've learned is it's a BAD idea to nap more than 30-40 minutes at a time. You'll wake up groggy, crabby, and sometimes, it'll mess with your sleep schedule and you'll have a more difficult time falling asleep around the time you normally retire for the night.
I know it's cliche, but breakfast IS the most important meal of the day. It keeps your energy levels up and you'll have a better focus. You don't have to go all out and have some 6 course breakfast, but at least a piece of fruit and some toast would give you a little extra pep. You may not even need that afternoon nap. Try it out for a week, see how you feel. Drink plenty of water, eliminate the junk food for a week, and eat more protein at lunch and breakfast.
Do you sleep with your mouth open? I have feather pillows. I'm allergic, but I just can't help myself, lol. It stuffs up my nose and I'll usually wake up with a dry mouth and really thirsty.
Hi! Yes, this is another relationship question... but it is different, so stay with me! Just read over my situation and tell me what you think! I'm 20/f by the way! Thanks! :)
When I was a senior in high school I met a guy, and we hit it off really well and ended up in a 2 year relationship. We broke up at the beginning of my 2nd year of college because we began to fight a good bit. We fought because I wanted to experience the single college life, and he was a year older than me, but not in college, and didn't know what he wanted to do with his life. We stopped talking for 4 months, and it was very hard at first but we both got over it after we cut off all contact. In December he left for the Army, and he called me to tell me. I wrote him a letter, and he called me. 4 months later, we now talk on the phone all the time. He is currently stationed about 700 miles from me, and is getting deported overseas soon. But our feelings for one another have come back in full swing now that we talk all the time. The differences we had are no longer there. We always say how we miss one another and this and that... but we both know that a long distance relationship for the next 4 years while he's in the army is unrealistic.
So basically our plan is to contunue talking, and emailing, and he will come home and visit as much as he can... and when he is home we will basically be together all the time, have sex... basically act like a couple. We can both see each other married in a couple of years, but do you think this is a good idea? We really care for each other, but is this worth it if it's going to make our lives so much harder? I mean it will be so hard having to see him for a few days, and then watching him leave for months. Do you think it is a good idea, or do you think cutting off all contact and taking the "easy way out" would be better? What would be the best thing for us? I appreciate your opinions... thank you!
One thing you need to remember is that you two are not spending time together. When you don't have the option to see each other very much, the problems that used to be there don't present themselves as much. Not to say that they're not there anymore, I don't know anything about how your relationship REALLY is. I'm just saying, it's one thing to keep in mind.
Love sees no boundaries. This is going to be REALLY difficult for the both of you. It's so hard to maintain a long distance relationship and hardly be able to see each other, but it's also a good test of how strong your relationship is/can be. Don't take the easy way out if your feelings are that strong. Somewhere down the line, you'll regret it. Everything deserves at least one chance. Everyone needs to 'know'. So find out :) It might work, it might not, but if you don't try, you'll never know. I wish I'd take my own advice. I'm kicking myself in the butt for not doing what you want to do. Don't make the same mistake. Good luck
Ok... I'm in desprate need of some advice. I was involved in an abusive relationship ( i ended it last year in January) I have since then graduated from high school. When i was in high school I had a little crush on my spanish teacher (i was 18 he was 24), never thought much of it, but i was up at my old school the other day and i saw him again and feelings resurfaced. We talked for a while and he asked me out. This is the first relationship i have even considered entering since ending my abusive one...and i'm not sure if i'm doing the right thing ... please don't say that " i'll know when I'm ready" because thats all i've heard latley ... and it doesn't help...because i'm so confused about the entire thing that i don't know anything anymore.
Thanks so much
*i rate*
Abusive relationships are very difficult to move past. There's no set time where it's ok to jump back into the dating pool and everything will be smooth. Your trust has been deeply affected and that's something that takes a very long time to heal.
Remember, each person is an individual. If you feel stronger, more sure of yourself, I don't think it would hurt to go on a date with this man. Take things as slow as you need to. Don't scare yourself into not getting involved. If you hold onto that fear for too long, you're letting your ex control you subconsciously.
I'm very happy to hear you ended the relationship. It's one of the most difficult things to do, and the fact that you did shows that you're already stronger than you were. As I said, go ahead, and enjoy yourself. Take it at the speed you need to so YOU feel comfortable.
hi first of all my question is really in it's own way a hard one,first of all i just moved in with my boyfriend, but whenever i say i love you he will just smile and say thank you or just not say anything at all the reason why i moved in was because he needed help with rent and bills because he just lost his job he always says how pretty other girls are but rarely says i am pretty sometimes he will just play video games all day and ignor me,one day he had me go out at 2'30 in the morining to get ciggrettes (i live in new york city)by myself i somtimes feel that he is only using me for rent money.one day he actually said to me why can't i be as pretty as her(lindsay lohan).guys help what should i do
Well it sure doesn't sound like a very loving relationship, at least not on his end. The fact that he only asked you to move in for help is pretty sad. He should want you to live with him regardless of whether or not he has a job and how well he is doing. I feel you sweetie because I've been there as well. Is he actively seeking out a job? Doesn't sound like it if he's sitting on his butt playing video games. And a loving boyfriend would never say things to intentionally hurt your feelings or compare you to other women. It does seem like he is using you...And you deserve better than that. Be a good girlfriend to someone who DESERVES you. That might not click with you right away..Sometimes it takes time to come to these conclusions on your own. Everyone has to weed through the losers to find a good person. He's just another weed, forget about him.
So, my partner's parents/family have 'seen the bruises' and now think I'm some vest-wearing wifebeater and have 'warned me'.
How on earth do I tactfully explain what's really going on before I get the rozzers called on me?
I don't think they'll appreciate the honest truth about what their 'little princess' likes in bed somehow...
>.<
Awful and delicate situation, help!
Delicate, indeed. I don't know about all this other advice about falling down stairs and whatnot. As a parent, that would raise my suspicions even more. I DO agree that it is up to your partner to defend you. Who knows how that will pan out, but I see no other way than telling the parents this is a personal, private thing that you two share behind closed doors. Leave it at that and let it go. I doubt they're totally living in the dark, even the most naive can pick up at a hint like that. They just want to ensure safety. But do talk with your partner regarding this, it's not something you should have to do by yourself.
so i am a female at age 13 going on 14. and about a month ago when i was working on a project with two guys(nerds). anyways he started asking why i had a mastache. and yes everyone has hair their but it shouldnt be noticable like this is? how do i get rid of this problem?
please dont say ignore them
xoxo KML
You can do one of several things -- Waxing, which removes all the hair at the root and takes longer to grow back(about 5 or 6 weeks). Ouch factor-- Ripping off a really sticky bandaid.
Tweezing-- This is a painstakingly slow process and it still grows back pretty quick. If you don't have a LOT of hair, this might do. Pinches a lot until you get used to it.
Hair removal creams-- I personally dont like these. If you have very sensitive skin, even those formulated for that, can still irritate your skin. You put on a cream that you leave on for about 5-8 minutes, then wipe off with a washcloth. Can tingle and burn a bit if your skin isn't too sensitive, and a LOT if it is.
Bleaching--If your hair is dark and your skin light, bleaching might be an ok option. The hair's still there, but remarkably lighter so it isn't as noticeable. This is best to get professionally done. It can irritate the skin a bit, but overall isn't too bad.
If you call someone blocked on your cell phone can it be traced back. Like can you call your cell phone company and ask them who called you blocked and they tell you the number?
I wish! Phone companies are NOT allowed to give out information about blocked/private calls(most will claim they don't have the information, anyhow). Unless the person you call feels harassed and files a report, more than likely they will not be able to obtain a trace back to the call.
When I breathe heavily or move a little bit, there's a sharp pain a little below my left breast. What is this? Is it something serious?
Well we're no doctors here...But a friend of mine went to the doctor for this problem, she always had sharp pains on her side below her breasts. The doctor told her it was likely to be gas. Go take a walk, do a little bit of exercise. This sort of...'encourages' things, lol.
If it's not that, do some stretching excercises and try to doing some relaxation techniques. Your body can go nuts when you feel tense, and since this is worrying you, you're probably tensing yourself up even more. I wouldn't be too concerned about it, but if it continues and you're still worried, just go to the doc and see what they say.
a big issue with me is i won't be with someone that is a pothead and when me and my boyfriend first started to go out he said that he did smoke pot once but that he didn't like it so he wasn't going to do it anymore. this weekend he spent some time at his cousin's house with his cousin and her boyfriend. one night the got completely drunk and were smoking and he told me. this happens everytime he hangs out with his cousin. i don't know what to say to him. i love him so much and i really want to be with him but i can't be with someone that smokes
From my experience, drugs take a precedence over relationships..That's MY experience. Although the person I was involved with did some hard core drugs. Your boyfriend knows how you feel about it. Yet he continues to do what he does. You have two choices -- You deal with it or you don't. I know I'm making it seem a lot easier than it is, but it's like that, black or white. Don't excuse it or turn the other cheek because you love him. Some things are worth letting slide, always pick your battles..But if you feel this strongly about it, then all you can do is discuss your feelings with him. Then take action from there depending on what happens. Good luck
My parents have no idea I went through most of the things because of cultural differences, but anyhow I was thinking of going to see a school counselor (SP?) & yeah he's a freshman in college & I'm a freshman in highschool but yes I still do feel the same way, it crushes me to pieces I don't even know why, I mean I only saw him once basically but thank you for the advice =]
Yeah, the counselor can definitely give you some resources, that's a really good idea. Take a look online as well. Resources are EVERYWHERE. You'll be ok. Teen years are just plain craziness, I'm thrilled to be out of them, lol :) My aim and yahoo info are on my page..If you just need an ear(message box?) anytime, I'm here to listen.
I'm 16/female... Me and My boyfriend have been dating for 2 months, and everything is great and I like him alot but, when we talk on the phone he is always quiet and i'm like if you dont want to talk i will just let you go, and he's always no i'll talk and the continues sitting there quietly... How can I get him to talk or start a conversation that he will talk in, because i like him and all but i'd rather hear him talk than breathe... please help i'll rate high... Thanks in advance... Sorry so long
ALIX
Some guys hate talking on the phone. Some girls, too. A lot of times they don't say anything..But they don't want to get off the phone either, and you're like...Ok, WHAT? lol. Sometimes they just like to hear your voice. My boyfriend calls me sometimes and says nothing. And I tell him the same thing, if you don't want to talk, I'll let you go. And he says no, that's ok. Eventually I get sick of talking to myself and let him go.
Start asking him about things that interests him, like say he's into football or something..Ask him football-related things. Or ask him questions that require more than a couple word answer, things that'll help you get to know him better at the same time. Like things from his childhood, or his embarrassing moments..Anything that'll get him talking. Don't expect him to just pick a topic and start talking. You gotta pull it outta them sometimes.
Hi, this is going to make me sound really messed up. Sometimes I laugh uncontrollably when a situation doesn't call for it. Today for example my parents were fighting, and I just started laughing. I didn't find it funny at all and I was really upset about it, but I couldn't stop it. It also happened once when my friend told me her mother died.. I laughed as I told other people, even though i felt awful about what happened..
Is there something wrong with me? I hate not having control over my reactions like this.
That's not messed up at all. I remember when I was younger in school and the principal announced to us that a boy in our class who had cancer had passed away..Just about the whole class stood still for a minute, then burst into laughter..Some crying at the same time. It's a nervous reaction. Sometimes you don't know what else to do, what else to say. All you can do is just laugh, even though it's not funny at all. It's difficult to control emotion. And as someone else said, it can be a defense mechanism. Obviously these situations are of a pretty serious nature..And instead of crying or screaming, you laugh. Maybe you don't want to show a more somber side of yourself. And there's nothing wrong with you. If anyone says anything, the only thing you can do is explain it's a nervous reaction of yours and you don't mean any harm.
Hey my name is Rachel and iam 17 there's this boy named chad and he's 17 years old to,but he's autistic and in special education I was wondering How do I get him to stop touching me on the shoulder I've tried telling him to stop and he just dosn't seem to understand what the word no means and he follows me everywhere one time he actually waited outside the girls bathroom door for me How do I get him to leave me alone and understand once and for all what the word no means?
Autism is a neurological disorder that affects communication(verbal and non) and social interaction and so on. So you can understand...What you need to do is probably talk to one of the special ed teachers about his behavior towards you. They are specially trained to deal with children who have mental illnesses and disabilities, so she/he will likely be able to take care of it for you.