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Kristina is the name i'm a self taught artist iv'e been a featured advice columnist 9 time’s

advice

My sister is one of my best friends. I love her and the last thing I'd want to do is hurt her feelings which is why this is hard for me.

She got married, had a house built, and moved into that house all since June of this year. I've been to her new house and it's amazing. She and her husband are SOOOOOO excited about having the whole family down for thanksgiving and up until recently, I was excited about going. However, now I've hit a problem.

Long story short, I think my mom and granddad might stay home for thanksgiving and if they do, I think I'm gonna need to stay with them so it's not just the two of them for thanksgiving. My sister will still have her husband, dad, grandmother, and all of her in laws, so I think it's the best thing to do.

So, how do I break it to her if I end up not going to her place thanksgiving? She's really excited about it. She's been texting me about how excited she is, she's making all of these plans, she's even planning to bake a pumpkin pie simply because I love it and I'm tellin' you, her pumpkin pie is so good, it's as addictive as cocaine.

What am I gonna do?

I would be honest truthful with her it's better to be then not tell her in the nicest way possible that you won't be able to come because you don't want it being just your mom and granddad you don't want it being just the two of them it's the thought that counts i think that's a good enough reason it's not like you aren't giving her a explanation reason tell her it's not a total loss since there will be other Thanksgiving's to celebrate and there's always next year she could make her pumpkin pie next year and have something to look forward to be excited about so once again it's not a total loss

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I'm 15/f. I have kissed 6 different people before over the course of many years. Um, there's this one guy that I really really like and he likes me a lot too and it's scary because we both went to a party and I got drunk and so did he and some people said we kissed but others said we didn't wnd I don't think we did.. So I'm really nervous for tomorrow because we are hanging out and he said he wanted to kiss me to make it a for sure thing. I'm nervous as hell and my anxiety has been crazy. I need ways to calm myself?

I wouldn't overthink hanging out with him or kissing him it would be a different story if he didn't like you or didn't want to kiss you but that isn't the case so that's a big plus try not to think about it to much being nervous and having anxiety is normal if you overthink it you'll end up scaring freaking yourself out and that's the last thing you need just be confident believe in yourself doing those two things will get you a long way unlike overthinking

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I used to date this guy but we broke up after 5 months and I still really like him and we are kind of talking again and all of my friends including us want us to get back together but im really afraid because when we broke up the first time I was depressed for about a month and I don't want to get hurt again. What should I do?

I think you should stay broken up it isn't worth it getting back together since your really afraid was depressed and are afraid of being hurt those aren't good things to feel it isn't worth it you taking the risk and feeling what you did again yes your friends want you back together but you have to do what's right for you not your friends the guy isn't the only guy out there you'll find another one a better one who won't make you feel the things you did there's plenty of fish in the sea don't rush love you have your whole life to find a guy

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21/f, 28/m

I have been dating this guy for about 7 months. Last night, I asked him where he saw himself in 5 years and what about 10 years. I never really asked him that question because I was afraid of the answer but I knew that I would have to figure out what he wanted anyway.

He said in five years, he'd hopefully be married--not ready for kids yet, retired (go big or go home thought), having his own business, maybe living in another place such as Denver or Austin. He asked me the same question (where I see myself in five years), I didn't answer his question. I changed the subject because in five years, I would be around 26-27 years old.

I didn't tell him, but where I see myself in five years? I want to get married at the age of 26. Not married BY the age of 26, I want to be married at the age of 26. Hopefully, I'd get my career started since I would graduate with my Master's around the age of 23-24.

I knew that he was going to move out of the house he was living in (he had house mates), and was thinking about buying or renting out a house. He was cleaning some stuff out of his room so it'd be easier to move, and I asked him if he figured out what he was going to do. He said that he didn't think it was a smart idea to buy a house right now, he's probably going to stay until the company he works for either fails or becomes more stable.

I'm going to be in the same city for the next four years--going to graduate school and then trying to earn my LPC. I was a bit concerned because he didn't want to break-up, but it seems like he may be aware that we're bound to go our separate ways at some point.

What should I do? Is it better to end it now than later?

I think it's better to end it now if your having doubts and are concerned those are red flags it isn't a good sign that he's aware that you'll go your separate ways at some point he doesn't seem confident with what he told you he seems unsure while you on the other hand don't the truth is you both can say where you see yourselves years from now but the truth is you'll never really know where you'll end up or what the future holds he isn't the only guy out there there's plenty of them plenty of fish in the sea

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So I've been having the same crush on this one girl for about 4 years. I've literally have only said one word to her. I won't go into much detail into it all. But we've both always turn up seeing each other. Anyways i left the school she was at, so I can't really talk to her face to face. I don't know her phone number. The only thing ls I know is her kik username and Pinterest account. Now I would've talked to her before but I'm extremely shy. And I can still go back to the school but I'd rather not for personal reasons. I mean I still go to school just a different one. So the thing is I don't really know what to do. I was gonna make a fake kik account and ask if she's dating anyone, and kinda go on from there. And don't say just forget her because I've tried and she just keeps coming up. What do you think I should do? I can still just talk with real kik account or through Pinterest? Though again very shy so..

Don't make a fake Kik account that's not right it's wrong she doesn't deserve to be tricked with a fake account talking through Pinterest and your real Kik account seem like your best options doing that would probably help with your shyness seeing as you wouldn't be talking face to face i find it easier to talk to people online it could also help you gain confidence so that's a plus try not to think about your shyness so much you'll overthink and end up scaring freaking yourself out

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How do you stop a puppy from biting? I can see this being a serious problem when she gets older unless you can help me do something about it now.

You could try stopping the biting yourself if you have the patience and time if you don't and are desperate you could always take your puppy to a dog trainer let the trainer handle it since their better trained at training dogs and are professional's you could also do some research online educate yourself about puppies biting and how to stop it

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I am 22 years old.I met this guy who is my best friends good friend. We both chatted on the phone and fell for each other.the thing is he is in Europe for further studies and we are one month into a
Our long distance relationship. Things were going on pretty well..we were talking last night and hr said hes scared about us as the future is uncertain.I told him that I got into this relationship primarily because he was confident about us. But later he said he's over thinking things and wants me to be in His life and if we really want each other we would make it work.I dunno what I should assume from this behavior of his.he used to confident about this a week back.do everyone in LDRs go through this? Im super worried!!

Yes people in LDR's go through what your experiencing it's normal i think he was just being honest truthful with you telling you how he feels most LDR's are uncertain due distance and not being able to see one another unlike normal relationship's most people think LDR's won't work last i don't think you should assume anything from his behavior i think he still feels confident because of what he told you later on he reassured you it would be a different story if he hadn't told you what he did but that isn't the case like your boyfriend said if you really want one another you'll make it work and try your hardest to beat the odds that are against you when it comes to distance and uncertainly

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About a year ago, a guy and myself (a girl) were partners in a class for an entire year and we got along really well. He is a really good friend of one of my best friends and is genuinely a nice sweet guy. He is or was dating a girl who absolutely hates me. This hatred started last year and still lasts now. We are still partners in the same class and today when I walked over to the computer to help him, he blushed and was more awkward then usual and his friends started messing with him. I also make sure he does good in the class because I understand it well. In addition to this, two of my friends and one of his friends think that I like him and he feels the same. Today, he said that he does not have a girl friend and today the girl was really upset. Also, one of our mutual friends said that he liked me last year and I said that he didn't and she insisted he did, but then she started changing the subject. Any opinions on what I should do next? Does he like me or am I just overthinking?

I do think he likes you and you aren't over thinking he wouldn't say he likes you for the sake of saying it or for nothing so it must be true plus your mutual friend insisted he did so it must be serious since you both like each other i would pursue it create conversation get to know him better then go from there i wouldn't pay attention to the girl who was really upset she doesn't matter she can't stop you from talking becoming close to him so pursue it go for it!

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I'll be the first to admit, I am horrible talking to guys I'm interested. Its like I can't get out of my own head and over think every single interaction. It's terrible. But with this new guy I like, will call him *Eric,*I want to not think so much. He is in two of my classes, and I just recently started being interested because he did a presentation in my one of our class and I was oh wow your really cute. So here we are. We haven't spoken at all, he knows my name, because I had to do a presentation too. Um, but that's about it, we have no interaction at all. So, I really want to talk to him, but I don't even know what to say. Like I said, I over think everything, its huge fault of mine, I just really don't want to do that with Eric. Cause the more I over think, the more I scare myself which leads me to do absolutely nothing, which makes me mad at myself UGH! Cause, I'm this super open, talkative,optimistic person, around people who know me. And when I finally get outside of my head, I say the stupidest thing and can't carry a damn conversation. Its really frustrating! With Eric, I think we be good match, but I wont' know that if I don't talk him. So any tips would be awesome! Help me please!

I would start off by saying hey how are you? Try and break the ice awkwardness that way maybe talk about the presentations you both had to do ask him if he felt nervous presenting and anything else you can think of to ask you could ask him questions about himself by doing that you'll get to know him better asking questions is how you create conversation you'll also find out if you both have similar interests things in common since you both haven't spoken at all the things you could talk about are endless to a certain extend tell him about yourself by doing that you'll keep the conversation going i know it's tough but try and be confident think positively the more you think positively and encourage yourself the better you'll feel

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Hi, I'm 19 f.

I've been away from the US for 10 years. All my relatives are in the USA so now that I'm back to go to college here, I suddenly have a family to see during vacations. Last year, we had Thanksgiving with my aunt's family.

My problem is that I'm generally shy and I don't know how to have fun. I have three cousins who are aged 8, 14 and 16. Last Thanksgiving it was really awkward- I know I'm meant to be older so be in charge but I just don't know how to have fun with my cousins or kids/teenagers in general. We ended up playing monopoly with the adults and then eating.

How should I behave during family Thanksgivings and what activities can I do with my cousins that would be fun?

Thanks, any advice would be appreciated.

Also, Happy Halloween.

I would contact your cousins before hand before Thanksgiving and ask them what they like to do for fun you won't know until you ask by asking you'll be more prepared and have a good idea of what to do when the time comes for you to be with them you'll also have peace of mind and feel relived you could also search online for activities to do another thing is asking around getting different opinions from people i don't think anyone can tell you how to behave because you are your own person but what i can say is try and loosen up try and have fun your cousins are your family not strangers i doubt they'll judge you look down on you that isn't what Thanksgiving is about try not to focus on being shy or not knowing how to have fun if you do you'll overthink and freak yourself out do your best to really try and enjoy your families cousins company

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I actually like 2 of classmates. Now, I think have a crush on one of them more but I think also a crush on the other guy because he said he like me jokingly but I treated it seriously. Both of the guys are awesome. What should I do?

Troubled

If i were you i would like the one classmate you have a crush on more over the other classmate who said they jokingly like you how serious can he be if he jokingly said it? Probably not that serious he was clearly joking i wouldn't take what he said seriously because he wasn't serious himself i wouldn't think the one classmate who jokingly said he likes you is awesome he isn't he led you to believe he likes you because you took what he said seriously what he did was wrong i wouldn't have a crush on him so like the other classmate you have a crush on more he seems more sincere genuine

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Hi, so I'm in highschool and I have noticed this guy looking at me often. Like, very often. I talked to my sister about this and she said that he is a nice guy and we are acquaintanced. I catch his eyes literally following me everywhere and I am not sure if he finds me pretty or not. We were in class and I caught him staring at me and once I looked up to stare back he quickly averted his eyes. Another time, this week, he was paying for his lunch and he looked back as if searching for someone and he looked at me. That's not the first time he's done that. we talked while getting food. This week, he'd look at me frequently again. I was in the line to get food and he was in the line to pay and he looked as if he was searching for someone and he was looking directly at me and I'm not sure if he was searching for someone else or if it was actually me. I like him and I'm not sure if this could mean something. If I added all the details it would take forever to read this. If you want more information and can try to contact me, if I can answer after the quesiton.

Yes i do think he is attracted to you and him looking means something i think he likes you considering he is looking at you often if he wasn't looking at all or it was just a little that'd be a different story but that isn't the case there has to be a reason why he's looking he wouldn't be looking for nothing i would make yourself known to him create conversation with him get to know him by you continuing to look at him your continuing to make yourself wonder and wondering is getting you nowhere you need to know the truth once he's comfortable and ready he'll admit to you he likes you one thing you don't want to do is admit you like him first let him be the first to say it so you'll know for sure he does and it's true

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My best friend is copying me.
Ugh it's just everything I do, everything I say.
Whenever I start obsessing over something, she obsesses over it to.
She crushes on my crushes-fine-but then she says really stupid and irritating things like "We SHARE Johnny."
Like, WHAT!?
She knows NOTHING about Harry Potter, but she claims she is a witch-like me-and goes on about it. And the worst thing is this: My OTHER friend who HATES Harry Potter asks her "do you like Harry Potter"?" and I heard her reply is "no"
She does that ALL the time. Let's call her F and my other friend A. A hates the shops that I shop in, F claims to love them (after I told her that i shop in them) and then A (who is quite popular) says she DOESN'T like them and F agrees. Then F tells me how she thinks that A has bad taste. I asked her about this once and she said she just doesn't want to get in a fight.
I'm not an emo but people say I am and F thinks I am (I don't say anything about it) so F goes on about how emo she is and everything, when she's clearly not.
This time, it's my Pirates of the Caribbean obsession. I know how to play the theme tune on the piano, I have a Captain Jack hat, etc. I am a huge POTC fan. And now she's saying that she is as well.
She hasn't even watched all of them. She just emailed me, like right now, "Am watching potc 1. Biggest fan ever."
NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.
And also, I started reading the LotR books, everyone called me a nerd including her, now she is reading them too, but tells me not to tell anyone, but also tells me she's a bigger fan than I am because she "wants to marry Legolas"
She really gets on my nerves.
Another annoying thing she does is yells out everything that I say to her.
You know when you say something incredibly stupid and embarrassing without thinking? That happens all the time to me. She just tells everyone unless I grab her by the arm and drag her out of the room, begging her to shut up about it. THEN she shuts up.
Despite all this...she's a good friend. She sticks up for me and everything.
But I just need some advice...how shall I deal with her annoyingness?

I think you need to make her realize what she's
doing is wrong and that it's annoying you it seems
to me like she isn't realizing her mistake and is
continuing to copy you speak up and tell her what she's doing you aren't liking if you don't then she'll continue to copy you thinking it's alright to do when it's not tell her she needs to be her own person like her own things and her copying you is annoying you and you'd like for her to stop i think in a way she wants to be like you seeing as you two are best friends she could also look up to you too tell her how you feel otherwise if you don't she won't know she isn't a mind reader :)

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I know some might thing this is stupid, and reply "hell no", but should I get my parents an anniversary present if they're separated? They're not divorced, and I didn't think about it until now. I asked my mother if we have any special occasions in August, and she replied "my anniversary". She still thinks it's a special occasion even if her marriage sucks and my dad doesn't live with us. I asked her if I should still get her a present and she blushed and didn't answer. I have a feeling my parents would really appreciate it, but it's kinda weird. Really weird. I'm really confused here. Please help!!!

I think you should get your parents a anniversary
present even though their separated them being separated shouldn't matter either way you look at
it it's still their anniversary that won't change if you have a feeling your parents would really appreciate a present then do what you feel is right if your mom didn't think it was a special occasion then that'd be a different story but that isn't the case it's worth it to get them a present remember it's the thought that counts :)

Good luck!

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ok here goes nothing.. ok me and my finance have been dater ang on an off for 3 yrs. and just last night i asked him about his daughter an wanted to search her on facebook but don't have one. ok now i asked him about the mom and that's when things changed.? he didn't want to tell me about her.and i was wondering whatsb up with this . i mean i don't know what to think . i jst knnow he's very nice to me and gives me the world . i just don't know what to think. please help . thank you delores i'm 43 female and he is 38 male i from the united states i am an american.

I think there's not much you can do if he doesn't
want to tell you you can't force him to tell you
i wouldn't pry or try to get the information out of him i'm sure if he wanted to tell you he would maybe he doesn't want to tell you because there's something bad about the mom that he's ashamed of not proud of and he doesn't want you to know there could be many reasons which i'm unaware of like i said i would just let it go if
you continue to ask him he could become irritated
at the fact that you keep asking prying and it could lead to the both of you arguing which i'm
sure you don't want i would just let it go move on no use dwelling over it

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So I have a crush on a kid I've only met once in person. It wasn't even a real conversation that we were having either, just a passing thing. Anyways, I've seen him in common areas at our school several times and we've caught each others eye, but I shy away like the school girl I am. I finally friended him on FB and I commented on a post of his, and then he went through my statuses and liked one from two days prior, and we talked on his post quickly. I've developed an embarrassing crush I suppose, since we've never had too many in person talks because we never have the same classes. But we both love the theater, fashion, movies, music, and other hobbies so it's not so completely out of the blue. The other thing is whenever I see him in person I kinda shy away still because I'm very self conscious. Ugh, is it stupid or should I try to work for it?

No i don't think it's stupid i think you should
try & work for it it's worth a shot there's no harm in trying you never know what could happen something good could come out of it & surprise you it's not like the two of you don't have things in common you do it isn't awkward i think you should persue it otherwise if you don't you could end up regretting your decision and wishing you did something instead of not taking action i
think you should go for it you shouldn't let this
opportunity pass i think it will be good for you
it could make you less self conscious the more you
talk to him the more you'll become more comfortable around him and it will evenually become easier for you to talk and create conversation with him you'll break the ice so to speak(:

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Hey sunshine!
I loved ur answer! Finally someone who said something that was in my mind and I wanted to hear :) However I feel it is too late since my boyfriend has left town to another place as his internship starts there at a reputed firm. We both are architecture students. I am 20 and he is 23. Well, he said he wants some time to himself in order to get back to what he was since he is not happy with himself. And that wasn't possible with me around so we decided to break it off but keep in touch as we both are too special to each other and I don't wanna leave him off. Will it complicate things? Am I doing the right thing? We have no intention of dating anybody else at the moment and if that does turn up, then probably we'll move out of each others lives completely. Is this fair enough?

Thank you glad i could help you(:

I don't think it will complicate things seeing as
you two are choosing to keep in touch with one another even though you decided to break it off it would be a different story if you decided to not keep in touch then that would complicate things then you'd have a reason to worry you will still be able to talk to him if you choose too it's not like he's out of your life completely i do think your doing the right thing for yourself & him also yes i do think that if the two of you start dating different people then you both will probably have to be out of each other's lives seeing as it would probably be awkward & uncomfortable for the both of you to be dating different people seeing as you both once dated i do think everything you decided is fair enough you allowing him to have time to himself choosing to keep in touch and making the decision to be out of each other's lives if the two of you start dating other people i think with the decisions you've made the two of you can't be hurt & the decisions are all fair(:

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Sunshine,

I was informed by the parents of one of my patients that you are taking on medical questions and giving out extremely "unqualified" medical advice. Being a surgeon and physician for over 20 years I cannot begin to tell you how dangerous and legally liable these actions are. You clearly admit to having no formal medical training and these questions are completely outside the scope of your field as a volunteer. Simply because other adivce givers answer medical questions does not mean the practice is in the slightest bit acceptable. I can sincerely appreciate the notion that you "try to answer every question to the best of my ability", but there is a very unobstructed line that needs to be drawn when it comes to giving medical advice.

The "only" advice that should be given in cases like these should be to refer the individual to the appropriate medical professional. Online searches in hopes of an accurate medical diagnosis is purely unhelpful, unethical and at times, dangerous. In addition, even though you do not advertise to be a medical professional or physician, you take on that role of doctor by proxy by giving out even the smallest bit of medical advice.

Please recognize the fact that passion for medicine and sound qualified medical advice are by in large distinctly different. I implore you to consider the possible consequences of your actions in the sense of being legally and ethically liable to unintended and possible grave consequences.

Dr. A. E. Ford

I understand what your saying & i do apologize for
it i realize what i did was wrong & i shouldn't of been doing it or giving out false information i think the only way to solve this is me not answer any medical questions seeing as i'm not a doctor & i'm not qualified to do so i don't want to get myself in trouble or hurt anyone seeing as i'm not the type of person to cause trouble or hurt others after reading what you've typed i'm actually considering deleting my column i do
realize that my actions have consequences &
like i said i truely do apologize i realize that iv'e made a mistake we all have to learn from our
mistakes & iv'e learned from mine just by what you've written to me it won't happen again i will
either not answer medical questions or delete my
column all together i hope you forgive me

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I'm torn. I'm kind of a Renaissance woman. I'm not extremely good at one thing, but I'm pretty good at a lot of things. I LOVE fashion, orchestral music, math, and science. I'm so torn because my interests are so varied that I cannot find a particular area that satisfies the majority of my interests. I'm studying science in school, but I'm losing my interest for it. I'm beginning to want to be a fashion stylist because that is where my true passion lies. However, I could also see myself being a doctor because I love that, I just am really not liking science in school right now. I also want a profession that I can have responsibility and power. I love having power. I don't know what direction I should go in in life. What passion should I follow? Should I be realistic or follow my wildest dreams? I don't have much money to fall back on, so I have to make it.

I think you should be realistic instead of
following your wildest dreams after all your dreams are only dreams it's better to be realistic ultimately i think you should persue being a fashion stylish seeing as you say that's where your true passion lies it's better to do something your passionate about then to do something you truely aren't & then you end up regretting your decision i don't think becoming a doctor is for you even though you love it i don't think loving it will be enough not to mention you aren't becoming interested in science & aren't liking it if you are truely passionate about fashion and feel like that's where your true passion lies then i say go for it that's the passion you should follow and go after you seem
more confident about wanting to become a fashion stylish then you do about wanting to become a doctor(:

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Just reading these blogs and I'd like to understand how you are giving out medical advice to young women? Are you a doctor? These people seem like they have some severe medical issues, are young, and from a mother, i don't know if you are qualified. If so could you please tell me what your background is?
Thanks
-Brie

No i'm not a doctor & i don't claim to be never have no i'm not qualified i'm sure other columnists answer medical type of questions to the best of their ability even though they aren't doctors & aren't qualified i never claimed i was giving out medical advice or that i was a doctor or i had qualifications nowhere on my column does it say that don't know why i'm being targeted it just so happens medical questions interest me just like the medical field has for the longest time i try to answer every question to the best of my ability like every other columnist on the website

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