How to Tell My Sister That I Might Not Be Coming For Thanksgiving
Question Posted Thursday November 6 2014, 5:26 am
My sister is one of my best friends. I love her and the last thing I'd want to do is hurt her feelings which is why this is hard for me.
She got married, had a house built, and moved into that house all since June of this year. I've been to her new house and it's amazing. She and her husband are SOOOOOO excited about having the whole family down for thanksgiving and up until recently, I was excited about going. However, now I've hit a problem.
Long story short, I think my mom and granddad might stay home for thanksgiving and if they do, I think I'm gonna need to stay with them so it's not just the two of them for thanksgiving. My sister will still have her husband, dad, grandmother, and all of her in laws, so I think it's the best thing to do.
So, how do I break it to her if I end up not going to her place thanksgiving? She's really excited about it. She's been texting me about how excited she is, she's making all of these plans, she's even planning to bake a pumpkin pie simply because I love it and I'm tellin' you, her pumpkin pie is so good, it's as addictive as cocaine.
What am I gonna do?
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Families? sunshine1232 answered Thursday November 6 2014, 4:31 pm: I would be honest truthful with her it's better to be then not tell her in the nicest way possible that you won't be able to come because you don't want it being just your mom and granddad you don't want it being just the two of them it's the thought that counts i think that's a good enough reason it's not like you aren't giving her a explanation reason tell her it's not a total loss since there will be other Thanksgiving's to celebrate and there's always next year she could make her pumpkin pie next year and have something to look forward to be excited about so once again it's not a total loss [ sunshine1232's advice column | Ask sunshine1232 A Question ]
adviceman49 answered Thursday November 6 2014, 10:11 am: Whatever you do don't make up a story for if you do you had best write it down for you will forget but your sister won't.
The best thing to do is to tell her the straight truth. That if mom and granddad do not go to her home for Thanksgiving that you think it might be best if you stay with them; so they are not alone. Then ask her what she thinks? By telling her what you feel is the right thing for you to do and asking her what she thinks you are making it a joint decision for you to stay with your mom and granddad. If your sister gets upset over what is the right thing to do it should not be with you but with the fact that her mom and granddad are not coming and this means you must be with them so they are not alone.
It is a little bit of salesmanship in how you present it to your sister. Instead of telling her what you think is best you ask her if she agrees that it is best you stay with mom and granddad. It takes the sting out of doing what you think is right.
NinjaNeer answered Thursday November 6 2014, 10:08 am: Eventually, you're going to come up against difficulties in juggling family engagements. Between my husband's and my families, we have 3 places to visit in a 3 day span, but we've always made it work.
Are the two houses far from each other? A good compromise is often to spend one day with one family and another with the next family. For us it means a 4 hour drive in between, but it's always worth it. Our families compromise by having the main holiday on different days so that everyone can be involved.
Talk to both parties and see if there's some way that you can fit everyone in. Thanksgiving is all about family, so it's nice to have everyone around you. [ NinjaNeer's advice column | Ask NinjaNeer A Question ]
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