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what to do? can't stop thinking! help!
I am 22 years old.I met this guy who is my best friends good friend. We both chatted on the phone and fell for each other.the thing is he is in Europe for further studies and we are one month into a
Our long distance relationship. Things were going on pretty well..we were talking last night and hr said hes scared about us as the future is uncertain.I told him that I got into this relationship primarily because he was confident about us. But later he said he's over thinking things and wants me to be in His life and if we really want each other we would make it work.I dunno what I should assume from this behavior of his.he used to confident about this a week back.do everyone in LDRs go through this? Im super worried!!
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Yes people in LDR's go through what your experiencing it's normal i think he was just being honest truthful with you telling you how he feels most LDR's are uncertain due distance and not being able to see one another unlike normal relationship's most people think LDR's won't work last i don't think you should assume anything from his behavior i think he still feels confident because of what he told you later on he reassured you it would be a different story if he hadn't told you what he did but that isn't the case like your boyfriend said if you really want one another you'll make it work and try your hardest to beat the odds that are against you when it comes to distance and uncertainly
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If you never had any time to get to know each other over time before he left, then an LDR will be a struggle. It sounds like you've never met in person but if you did, about all you can know having met in person is whether the two of you have a physcial chemistry together...you either felt the sexual attraction or didn't no matter if you did anything about it or not. The other things lack of confidence that you both might be perfect is due to not really knowing enough about each other, you can not develop trust long distance, that is something that works only in face to face relationships where you see each other often enough to discover who consistant each other is, they don't just say they are this or do that, but you get to witness it. With the witnessing and experiencing comes trust. those who have never met, can fall in love on line. I did. Got together with the guy in real life. He ended up after divorce going back to his wife. then after I recovered that and found my 2nd husband, I heard the guy left his wife for good and got married to someone else he met.
I know it's possible to fall in love, not having met, luckily we had chemistry when we met or we wouldn't have given it a try. But LDR's are all theater of the mind, you have to imagine what it feels like to be held by and kissed by him, what he's like 24/7 when sad, happy, angry, sick and how he handles himself around you. Does he support you in your talents and pursuits, is he patient, slow to anger, encouraging, always ready to talk and discuss things openly, stuff like this and more is hard to know on line...so don;t get your hopes up too much. Enjoy whats going on now but keep in the back of your mind that nothing may come of it when his studies are done and he's back. You are worried over just a weeks time worth, hows it going to be after months or a year or two or whatever time he has to put in for further studies. From people I know and my own experience, my opinion is that the majority of LDRs do not turn out to become full fledged in person relationships and marriages. Only a meager few do.
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I was in a long distance relationship. You just have to accept that you're not going to see each other, and your future is always going to be uncertain. You have to ask yourself, are you okay with not seeing him. Him not holding you in his arms? It's not easy. I was in one for over three years, and I saw her maybe four times. It's hard. One of the hardest things.
If you want to talk to someone whose been through what you're going through, I'm free to talk. My Skype is sillyrob7200 or message me through here.
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