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Q: 14/f

after school, i'm doing a sport and well around now is when i'm supposed to get my next period. So I already know that I can't wear tampons when you do not have your period. Well for now until my period starts I am wearing Maxi Pads and well they have the slips that you tuck under your underwear so they stay in place...

My question is when I change in the locker rooms (i can't in the bathroom) there's gonna be almost 50 other girls there... and well I really do not want them to see me with a pad, so my question is what if I wear some kind of workout tights/shorts underneath my jeans at school, and then after school when we change nobody can see my underwear, and so i would just change into shorts.

does that seem weird? would people laugh??

if this sounds like a bad idea- how do i make my pad seem less visible in front of people when I change?

I CAN'T wear a tampon yet because i havn't gotten my period yet, it's gonna be starting pretty soon, so i just wanna be prepared.

PLEASE answer quickly. thank you!
I think if you wear shorts under your jeans people are going to ask you about it, it'll be noticable. if you're wearing a pad and someone sees then it's no big deal, everybody wears them, it's perfectly fine. And to be honest, unless you're wearing see-through undies I doubt they'll notice it anyway, someone would really have to stare at your crotch to see the little fold down tabs.

Q: Mmkay. 15/f So my boyfriend and I have been going out for like... since september. We're really close because of what we've been through before our relationship. But now we've both noticed we're drifting apart. When we talk, there isn't much to talk about so we barely talk. Maybe even not speaking to each other for days. Yesterday we talked about all this. What we should do about our relationship and stuff. We both understand why we don't and why we do. He says he'll be happy as long as I'm happy, so I have the final say about ths whole thing. Should I break up or not?
break up! I've never regretted a breakup, if it's "meant to be" than it's meant to be and you'll get back together anyway. Being single is healthy, it gives you time to think and be independent. It's okay to drift away from people, I think it sounds like a great situation, the way you're both being honest with one another, you'll still be friends.

Q: Yep, so two of my friends and I were discussing the book of revelations in the bible, and from other sources aswell, we found that the world is supposed to end in 2012, with reffernces of fire of a meteor or something?
Could someone please fill me in on this, and how factually based it is, I mean.. it was found in a biblical based book..
Ever since the Bible has written, people have found evidence that the world will end in the next few years. So far (obviously) none of them were correct. If you keep digging, you'll find more "biblical based" books that called for the end of the world in 2000, 1994, 1983... it doesn't really matter, does it? The fact is that no one will know the day or the hour, and there is additional evidence to support the idea that the second coming of Christ already happened as described in Acts and we are living in what should be the kingdom of heaven now, He is among us and the world is set up according to God's rules and there's no major end of the world coming in 2012 or any other year, unless we do it to ourselves.

Q: how do you get pretty hands like the girl in this pic? there's no lines on her hands. And how do you get good skin like her?

http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h207/lamj001/exonerated-2-112-bakajen.jpg
Photoshop.

It's very important that you understand how photos you see in magazines and advertisements aren't real. They're touched up. If you search around for image retouching you'll find hundreds of companies that do it, and even artists with portfolios like this one:
http://glennferon.com.nyud.net:8090/index.html

lines on your hands mean that you are human.

Q: There is a research project on five religions:

Buddhism
Christianity
Hinduism
Judaism
Islam

I have to find:

1. The symbol
2. Nation or origin
3. Founder (if applicable)
4. Holy books (if applicable)
5. Place of worship
6. Beliefs and practices (min of 6)
7. Map showing location of the religion

For each religion that is.

I was wondering if anyone knew any sites [good, reliable sites] that could help me find any of the information I listed above. NO wikepedia PLEASE!

Thank you so much for any help! I'll love you forever and ever
Have you tried the library? I mean, I know that's the last place anybody thinks of these days but you never know, it could come in handy.

You can also try this site:
http://www.religioustolerance.org/

Q: what's the maxium number of hours you can leave a tampon in? Because I'll wear one right before I go to school and I'll leave it on for..6 and a half hours and change when I get home? Because the school washrooms are dirty and I don't go home for lunch
You can leave a tampon in that long, but there aren't many that will make it for six hours if you're having a normal period. Good luck with that. My real advice would be to just get used to changing it in the school washrooms; it doesn't really require any higher level of cleanliness, as long as there's a sink to wash your hands and some place to throw it away you're good.

But if you want to leave it in for six hours you'll probably be safe. If you experience a sudden, very high fever with other flulike symptoms, see medical attention immediately... but that should be obvious regardless of how long you've had a tampon in.

Q: i am very athletic and basically a health freak when it comes to eating...i am also a vegetarian.
i have two questions..
#1 how much water is healthy to drink within certain time frame? lets say 6 hours or so..
#2 is the amount of water i drink too much and if it is how can it hurt me?
i drink 92 ounces of water within a 6 hour period and i drink 138 ounces within 12 hours.
Yes, you can drink too much water. If there's too much water for your kidneys to regulate the amount in your bloodstream, it can cause swelling of the brain. It's not as common as dehydration so it's certainly important to drink water, but there is a such thing as too much.

If your urine is almost clear, you're hydrated, it's okay to take it easy and drink a little less. Generally you shouldn't need more than 6-8 ounces an hour to stay hydrated unless it's really super hot out. Some trainers recommend that you weigh yourself before and after you work out... you should lose a few pounds of water weight through sweat. If you don't, your body is having trouble dealing with the amount of water you're taking on and you should cut back.

Q: When I walk in the hallways at school, I always have that "tired" look. And people tell me it looks evil, like I am some boring, mean person. It's because I am always tired. I can't help but have a plain look on my face, but when I don't smile I look scary! I think that's why I can't make a lot of friends because they assume I just hate everyone.

What can I do?? I can smile but I don't want to look like a hyper and happy girl with a smile on her face 24/7. How can I look friendly without scaring people or looking weird?

Thanks
I don't think looking evil sounds so bad, it's sorta hot.

But anyway, there are ways to look friendly and not tired, without smiling. Watch your posture... standing up really straight makes a lot of difference, you won't look tired, you'll look determined. Raise your eyebrows a little. Keep your mouth closed. Tilt your face up. And if that doesn't do anything, it's okay to smile a little bit... if you've ever been on stage or looked at pictures, you'll know that people have to REALLY feel like they're smiling and try hard to have people notice that they're actually smiling, it's never as noticable as you think it is.

Q: well i know alcohol is bad for you and stuff.
but i was wondering why.

like whats in alcohol that messes with your brain and kills your liver?
Like others said, alcohol impairs your judgement because it's a poison. It gets into your bloodstream and things in your bloodstream that aren't helping blood cells bring oxygen to your body parts, especially your brain, are bad for all those parts. So while your liver is working hard to filter all that alcohol out, your brain cells are deprived, you can't think straight, and it's fun for a while but you're killing some brain cells. You'll also be dehydrated for this same reason, and when you're drinking alcohol you'll probably forget to drink water. And some alcoholic drinks like beer, margaritas, etc are loaded with carbohydrates that just add to the calories and are bad for you just like all high-calorie foods are bad for you.

So yes... there's not magic ingredient "in" alcohol that messes with you, it's just alcohol.

Q: how does one get out of an existential crisis?
I like long walks in the woods. By long I don't mean a few miles, I like four hours of being by myself, thinking about where I'm at and looking at everything, and pretty soon all you notice is the outside.

Q: why does guys hair grow faster and longer than girls hair does?
What makes you think that it does? I don't think there's any difference, if that were really true there'd be a lot more guys with longer hair than girls. Some people just have faster growing hair, because of genetics, diet, overall health, whatever, but it has nothing to do with gender.

Q: is it bad to get the hpv vaccine when your already sexually active?
You need to get the vaccine no matter who you are. Just because you've had sex doesn't mean you've come into contact with HPV, and even if you have, there are something like 20 strains and the vaccine will keep you from getting the ones you don't have.

Q: Ok, here is what is going on. I have been dating this wonderfully amazing guy for 3 years now. He proposed very early in the relationship, so we have been engaged for most of our relationship. He is amazing and sweet and romantic and was there for me during some of my hardest times. I love him very much.

Ok, now the conflict. A few months before I met my fiance, I met this other guy and we instantly hit it off and became friends and hung out all the time. We had chemistry and flirted and kissed and hung out all the time. We both really liked each other, but we were both too chicken to say anything. So we never dated.

I have kept in touch with this guy for 3 years. We have kissed and fooled around (which I am very ashamed of, because I know it would kill my fiance if he ever found out.) This other guy told me that I was the first girl he's ever loved, but I knew I'd never leave my fiance for him. I never did leave my fiance, and this other guy eventually moved on and started dating another girl. Things got pretty serious, and he said he's over me now and that he loves her.

However, this other guy and I hung out the other night and kissed and cuddled and just held each other. We didn't have sex, just held each other.

I am getting married very soon, and I do not know what to do. This other guy and I were never officially an "item", but we have remained in each other's lifes for 3 years. He was in love with me for 2 some years, and then when he got a new girlfriend, I started getting really jealous. He said he's over me, but then why did we fool around the other night?

I just... I don't know what to do. I am getting married in a few weeks and moving to the West coast. I love my fiance and have never left him for anyone. I love him so much, and I don't want to hurt him. I still think of this other guy sometimes, but I think I do only because it's a "what could have been" type of scene because we never actually dated. I think it's also because it's natural to be nervous before you get married.

Is it normal to think of an "ex" before you get married? Part of me wonders what would have been with this other guy, if he and I would have lasted, or whether we'd broken up 2 weeks later. I love my fiance and want to and need to move on. THis other guy and I never worked because of timing, and we don't work now. We both have other people. Please help!

I don't think it's really normal. And I don't think you're ready to get married.

You said he proposed early in the relationship... is it possible that you ignored warning signs about this guy because you were looking forward to getting married?

Don't worry about doing something terrible to your fiance... you'll do something more terrible if you have to get divorced later because he's not the one for you. when you get married you should be 100% sure that no other man can offer you what the person you're about to marry can. And sure, maybe you're just thinking about this guy because he's "someone else", but if there's really something about him that you love and that you can't find in your fiance, it's a sign.

Q: So, I was driving somewhere I didn't really know and completely lost. I did the whole slow down when you pass the streetsign to make sure it is the street that I want deal.

Cops pulled me over and cited me for driving below the limit (about 10 under) improper turn and improper passing.

Course, you don't drive slow unless you're drunk or old. They didn't have the Breathalyzer in the car and had to take me back to the station.

Then they detained me for two hours trying to figure out how the Breathalyzer machine works.

They impounded my vehicle until Thursday which is the court date.

On the plus side, I wasn't drunk. :D And I got to work on time AND I now know what it feels like to sit in the back of the police car.

I called my Dad to take me to work. He started laughing at me, since out of my seven siblings - I'm the "good one". I'll be on the family bad list until someone else screws up...

The impound fee is going to be killer and I'm contesting the two improper turn/passing tickets.


Anywho, ever been arrested? What happened?

Also, in the realm of serious offences - should I feel bad that I sat in jail for a few hours? And how can I stop all my family from teasing me?

Oh, let the family tease you. Honestly I think it sounds great, people like "the good kid" a lot better if she's got a funny story like this to tell, and you'll be able to use this one for the rest of your life. Going to PRISON is not a funny story you want to tell everyone, but going to JAIL is a totally different thing that a lot of the population can relate to (and enjoy hearing about).

I think it's crap that they're impounding your car until Thursday! You should make some calls (read: a LOT of calls) and ask why they get to do that, or at least get the date moved to Monday or so, you can't be without a car all week because they're idiots!

Q: What does the term 'Liberal' when used politically mean to you? I'm doing research for a paper and want to gather varying opinions on the subject. Any answer will be excellent.
Well, there's this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liberalism

Generally, to me it means believing in tolerance. You tolerate gays because they're not bothering you. You tolerate that guy being on welfare because it's not his fault he was laid off and needs time to go to school and learn skills for a better job. It means that it's not the government's job to be our dad and tell us what's right and wrong.

Q: If I don't eat sweets or drink sodas will I really see a difference in my weight?
well, it depends on how much of that stuff you eat/drink now, but if you drink sodas every day, then stopping will definitely make a difference in a few weeks. Not just in weight, but in overall health. Sodas have so much sugar, and the diet ones have all these chemicals, they're all horrible for you. I gave up sodas for track season my junior year because my coach told me to, and after the season was over I couldn't even drink them, I'd get sick because of all the crap in them. So at least do your best to avoid the sodas, even if you can't cut out all sweets.

Q: ok so i am 16 and i am a sophmore in high school and i have been really good friends with this kid for most of the school year and then on valentines day we told eachother we like eachother but the thing is he was hurt really bad in a relationship a little while back so he doesnt want to be in a relationship right now. (which i am completely ok with but...) ever since we told eachother we liked eachother he has been saying that we can be friends with benefits and we cant even have a real conversation without him saying something sexual or about us having sex. What do i do because i like him but i dont really think with my personality i would be able to do the whole "friends with benefits" thing because but i like him. I dont really know what to do because me and this guy are VERY close friends and we can tell eachother everything but now all i feel like is a "booty call" and i dont like it.. what do i do?!?!

Thanks for the help!
Um, I don't see how this would be "friends with benefits". I mean I see the benefits for him but not for you. So don't go for it, he's being really inconsiderate to even suggest something like that. You deserve someone who actually cares about you and wants to be in a relationship, not someone who just wants to have sex with you.

Oh, and that "I was just in a really bad relationship" line is the oldest one in the book that guys use when they're not that into you, but don't want you to feel too upset about it.

Q: 14/F
SORRY THIS IS SO LONG!!

hi!!, okay, so i'm a freshman in highschool, and VERY VERY VERY shy. I don't quite know how to talk to guys, flirting, or just general conversation because im so worried that i'll say something stupid, or just ramble on and on and on, or not be understood...etc.

Adults in my life (from temple, or just adult friends) always tell me how poised, comfortable in my skin, and beautiful/pretty i am. They also say, "all of the boys must be all over you-(then they say this to my father) keep an eye on her, dont let her go out on too many dates." Well, i don't think im poised AT ALL, im really not that comfortable with my self-image, i don't think im pretty, or good looking, and i certainly don't do very well in the guy/dating department (although i want to).(i've also NEVER had a boyfriend, but i REALLY want to.)

it really bothers me when people tell me that i must be doing well in the guy dept becuase i feel as if im not measuring up to their expectations, or maybe that they're just saying that to be polite to me-which then makes me self-conscience.i get very upset when somebody says that, (i not to show it), and i just say thank you and then i feel horrible for the rest of the day/night.

i dont know why this is....so i have a few questions.......1) how do i respond to that question/statement without feelin badly, 2) how do i let people know not to say that to me, and 3) how do i talk to a guy, to make me like me and specifically to have him ask me out.................remember, im SUPER shy.

thanks, and again, sorry this is so long!!
You should tell them that you have more important things to do than chase after guys. I mean, when I was 14 I thought most of them were idiots. Boyfriends are really easy to get when you get older, like in college, they really will be all over you. Until then don't worry so much about it, relationships are things that only come when you're not thinking about them or looking for a new one.

Q: 16/f-

My guidence counselor tells me I don't live up to my potential. I guess it's because I don't work as hard in school as I should. I get A's and B's, but this year I've gotten a couple C's. However, I am in advanced classes, 2 of which are AP and I will get college credit for. But, she tells me that I should be getting better grades. I guess she knows this because I'm predicted to get about a 30 or 31 on my ACT scores (I got a 25 on the practice one as a freshman, and they figure you gain 2 points every year, but I gained 3, so it could be either). And, I just took the PSAT and I'm in the 92 percentile.

So my question is, Will my really good test scores make up at all for my lax grades? And which matters more to *most* universities?

Thanks in advance =)
It depends on what you want to do and how competitive you want to be. Test scores will not "make up" for lax grades, colleges look at both scores about evenly. A lot of scholarships I applied for said you had to have, say, a 27 on the ACT and 3.4 GPA. If you got a 34 on the ACT and had a 3.0 GPA, you missed the cutoff and can't apply.

So do your best on the grades. Of course it's your councelor's job to tell you to do better no matter who you are, if she can get you to work harder by telling you that those Cs will ruin your future she will, but if you really are working hard and can't get better grades don't freak out.

Q: I have been researching different birth controls all day...and i still dont know which one to choose from ( i have a doctor appt. monday to talk about it too)

I have narrowed it down to Seasonal and Loestrin 24 cause i have really bad/long/heavy periods...
NuvaRing cause you dont take it as much and Ortho Tri-Cyclen cause it's sopposed to help with acne...

if anyone is on/was on any of these could you give me your opinion of them? Like does Ortho Tri-Cyclen really help with acne and such?
Thanks so much!
Most forms of birth control help with acne and reduce period length. Ortho Tri-Cyclen is the only one they did clinical acne studies with, since they can afford it. I use a generic version and it's had all the same effects, it's very nice, my skin is a lot less oily. But it won't do the same things for everyone.

Like others said, talk to your doctor, don't let a pharmaceutical company's marketing website decide what's right for you. Tell your doctor about how you'd like shorter periods, if that's important. If cost is an issue, ask about generic versions. If you don't actually need it *for birth control*, tell your doctor about that, there are very low dose hormones you can take that will shorten your period.

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spacefem
I've been in the advice column over five years now so I think I've pretty much heard it all... the love, the hate, the random insanity. I don't take it too seriously, so I'm not always giving the best advice, but my column is fun to read!

I am a 23 year old electrical engineer, a feminist, a Christian. I don't know everything but I can sure pretend to.

Disclaimer: Now that I'm on advicenators I'm getting even more questions every day. It's fast and easy for me to answer them, yes, so at least I'm answering something now, but if your question contains the words "there's this guy that I like..." chances are I won't get around to it. I'm only answering interesting questions that I haven't answered before. Register at the site and ask everyone for advice if you must have an answer, because if people read my column and boring love advice was all they found, they'd never come back.

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