I have dealt with many emotional and psychological issues both personally and in my career. I've gone thru emotional, verbal and sexual abuse, severe depression, therapy, emotional hospitalization, sexual addiction diagnosis, divorce and suicidal ideations. So I've been there, I'm a healthy person now and in a healthy relationship. But I've definately learned from the School of Experience and I'd love to be able to help others with the knowledge that all that has brought me. I'm not judgemental but I will be very frank if with my OPINIONS.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Registered Nurse
Age: 34
Member Since: September 28, 2012
Answers: 39
Last Update: October 15, 2012
Visitors: 4872
Main Categories:
Love Life
Mental health
Abusive Relationships
View All
|
| |
Why is it that my boobs hurt after having sex?
I Mean they didn't hurt when doing it but after a day or so they started to hurt. Why Is that? (link)
| |
It may be related to your position, if your breasts are bouncing around alot it may cause you to be sore after.... or it may be related to the amount of nipple stimulation or kneeding of the breast tissue that causes the discomfort. Pinching or twisting the nipples too hard will definately cause soreness.
|
|
hey i am 13 and cut myself my mom knows and recently said uprovoked "I have enough problems without you slitting your wrists and I hate you for it"want to stop its sbut soooo hard tstarted at age 11.how caN i deal with this? (link)
| |
Slitting your wrists and any other forms of self-mutilation or self harm is usually a way to give an emotional pain release thru a physical act. It may be a result of some guilt you are placing on yourself or as a result of being bullied at school. Either way it's very hard for parents to comprehend how someone could do such a thing. They may think you are attention-seeking. You need to seek emotional therapy, this isn't a physical problem, it's a psychological one. If nothing else reach out to the counselor or nurse at your school, under HIPPA laws they have to protect your confidentiality but they will help you figure out where to go for help. Remember the crisis hotline is toll free and confidential 1 800 273 TALK.
|
im 18 f
where to even begin... before i was dating my bf that im dating right now (lets call him x), me and this other guy( lets call him y) were together. he was really good to me, he treated me so well and liked me a lot but last new years we were at a party and y was very clingy so i ignored him until he left the party and instead i hooked up with x. y still really liked me but i didnt feel the same way about him at the time. about 2 months later me and x started dating and by that time me and y didnt even talk anymore. me and x had a great summer together, we went camping with our friends and had the best time and we got to know each other so much better. because we didnt start just as friends we went from not really knowing each other to dating. that summer i really fell inlove with x. but i saw him always talking to this girl on his phone and i never really asked him about her but it bugged me because i never really knew they were friends or even talked before. about a month ago me and y started talking again because we work together, and one night after work we sat on our cars and talked till 2 in the morning. but it wasnt y trying to break me and x up or y trying to impress me, we were strictly being just friends, and over the next few weeks we hung out and we became really good friends and i really realized how much i missed him. one night there was a work party that we were both at and i realized that the feelings i originally had for him were still there and even tho i still love x, y means alot to me still too. and that night he told me that he misses me and really likes me. he told me he will do anything for me and he respects my relationship with x but he wanted me to know that he would make me his everything. it really tore me and at the same time me and x were developing problems. it feels like x is taking me for granted and that he doesnt appreciate me, i have to ask him to have sex with me and sometimes he doesnt even want to, like it doesnt bother me that much but it sucks when i get blown off for sex. other things are that when we have sex he wont kiss me or make out with me while having sex with me :( it makes me feel like a hooker that he doesnt want to "make love" to but only to fuck. and he normally doesnt usually kiss me or make out with me on a daily basis. and when we do have sex he doesnt let me take my clothes off :( jsut pull my pants down and thats it. and y is making it seem that i deserve so much more and would make me feel appreciated. but me andx have been together for almost a year now and i love his friends and i love his family :( what do i do? :( im so lost it sucks. (link)
|
Oh girl.... Dump the x..... Nothin in the world can ever take place of love making and if y is giving you a second chance you better jump on it and never take it for granted again.
But, don't just dump x and jump back in bed with y. Here is why.... Y likes you and right now he may think he's over the fact that you broke his heart but there may still be some trust issues you need to work thru. Try taking the physical love making off the table for a few months and focus on the relationship. (The trust, respect, love, attraction, etc.)
You see men fall in two different catagories, they either see you as a potential mate and they are ready to settle down OR they see you as a play mate and they don't want to be exclusive. If you begin the relationship as the later, you will never be able to conveince your man that you are the former. You want a man to "make-love" with you, you have to have a love connection. That takes a relationship men who are only looking to be play mates will not make that sort of emotional investment.
|
|
Basically, I'm a 20 year old female in college who has had absolutely no experience with dating, sex, or relationships. I'm a person who takes a while to break out of my shell but in the end people love me and think I'm hilarious and fun and chill. I am NOT socially awkward but admittedly tense and nervous at times and I can be very reserved and guarded with people I don't know very well but all the while I'm kind and composed and collected. I can have a conversation with almost anyone. With every passing year this tension improves and my friends see this improvement in me. I'm not ugly, I have some attractive qualities and recently lost a good amount of weight! My best qualities have nothing to do with looks; I'm extremely intelligent, intellectual, interesting, sweet, and pretty funny. Right now, I feel more confident than ever! BUT I'm absolutely desperate for male intimacy. Having been deprived my whole life and watching my other friends get to experience it is very crushing. I have all this emotional and physical energy that wants so badly to be released but it can't be because no guy has ever shown interest in me. Now for the main issue: I think I may be falling hard for one of my friends. He made a girlfriend over the summer and now they have a (very) long distance relationship. I had a crush on him last year but knew that getting him would probably not be a reality, considering the fact that other girls sometimes like him and he's shy with girls and I just don't want to get hurt or have my confidence destroyed. Ever since this year started he's been paying tons of attention to me. He's a friendly, charming person by nature so I don't know if I'm special at all. As a result, I unfortunately think I've fallen in love with him (or whatever to call it). I cannot stop thinking about him and get sad when I can't be around him. Sexually, I want him so bad like no one I've ever lusted after before. The main aspect is the emotional connection we have. He is literally everything I want, he's perfection. The issue is that he has a long-distance girlfriend. He's wishy washy and I have no idea what he is really thinking. All I can do in all of this is speculate which leaves me to go crazy. I just can't stop thinking negatively and crying over the fact that the odds may not be in my favor and that I have no strength or experience with any of this. I am a smart, strong, independent person and right now I feel helpless. I'm so confused with all of the new things I'm feeling and having so many highs and lows. What do I do? (link)
| |
ok "in love and confused" first of all, you're 20 years old. Lighten up, have some fun. Don't get too serious about anything. Just have some fun. It's not too likely that you're going to make it to the alter with the first guy you have a relationship with and the chances of you getting out of life without having your heart broken at least once are very slim. Best thing to do is to realize your own self worth and know that this guy may not even realize you're attracted to him. Let him know in subtle ways without throwing yourself at him that you think he's delish. But don't sophocate him. Make your 1:1 encounters with him short and sweet then excuse yourself for some business you must attend to. For example, pay him a compliment on the way he looks or smells then excuse yourself to do some very important thing. Or get involved in a conversation where you're asking him questions about where he grew up and what he enjoys doing for fun and what his favorite foods are. Make the conversation all about him and but cut it short before you run out of juicy conversation and loose his interest. Guys like to be seen and feel like someone gives a crap about what they want and like but they also like it when the girl seems to have a life. so that's why you don't let the conversation run stale before you excuse yourself to do something important or meet another friend. etc. Good luck love.
|
|
how can i deal with the frustration of having a ridiculously hard time with finding a job. I have no help and my life is fading. "Friends" dont call me anymore, family gave up on me and im single so i dont really have sombody to talk to. Im lonely and broke and i feel like a failure. I know that eventually my life will come back, but its already been 2 years. im only 24 and i feel like a bum. I dont know wut to do, where to go or how to feel. I've been a emotional wreck. im a pretty girl, and i have so much talent and potential. i dont understand why im in this position for so long. its just no movement in my life whatsoever.. its driving me crazy, litterally... i just really need some encouraging words or somthing (link)
| |
OK " I cry everyday...." I'm going to be brutal with you for your own good..... get yourself by your bootstraps and get up. First go get a shower, then get dressed nice and go get a job.... Even if it's at McDonald's flipping burgers, it's a start!!!!! Next, Stop sitting around the house expecting life to just happen for you!!! Go out and get it!! So what if your family don't call you everyday, How long has it been since you called them? Are you doing your part in the relationship or are you milking them dry? Use your talents... use them for the betterment of society. Don't require pay. Use them just to make yourself feel productive. Go to your local Nursing Home or Homeless Shelter.... look at those less fortunate than yourself and stop whining. It's up to you to make a difference in society. God has blessed you with gifts and talents. Use them and you will soon see a change in your own outlook. You'll see that when you focus on the activity the results will come to you. but if you are focused on the results and never doing the activity... you'll never get anywhere. What's the definition of insanity...Doing the same exact things over and over and over and expecting a different result. Good luck.
|
i m in india aurangabad maharashtra.
my married friend affair with married woman last 3 years. i m very jelous. why she choose my friend nad not to me ?
i m single. i m clearly avoid mariied woman relationship. but jelously why they happily go ahed. that woman husband is a hard drinker. she have a 10 year son. why she is not thinking about her future. my friend is selfish , when attraction is lost ( sex ) they are not interested that woman.
in this matter i m in highly tension. i meet that woman 2-3 times. she is known to me.
but jelously why she choose my friend and not me because i m handsome and single.
kindly suggestion this matter
thanks. (link)
| |
I was married to a man for 14 years and I was totally faithful for the first 11 years of that marriage, then I went crazy and started having one affair after the next. Most of the affairs were with single men but that's only because I didn't want to be known as a home-wrecker and so I tried to avoid married men. However, there is much less risk of being exposed when you are involved in having an affair with a married man. That being said..... Why would you want to have an affair with a married lady? If she'll cheat on her husband, she'll cheat on you too. Next, have you ever had an affair with a married person? It's fulfilling sexually but then what? you are left with all the guilt and shame. You just feel dirty and what if it were to be exposed, what if you became the reason that this lady ended up divorced? She has a 10 year old son... Do you really want to be responsible for that? She seems like a seductress who has wooo'd you and your friend and she ended up sleeping with him just because he's less risk. She is probably seeking validation from any man whom she can get to give her attention. She is obviously not getting what she needs from home or she wouldn't be laying with other men. I know from experience. Women who cheat are generally not looking for just sex, we are looking for someone who sees us as special.
|
okay, like..we talk everyday afterschool and he always tells me to go visit him during his break at work since i live like right across the street from his job, so i do. but like,at school we'll see each other and we'll only say hi , and then when we arent at school and we're hanging out he's like, a complete flirt and he's super sweet and stuff. i feel like he's hiding me or something. but then i dont because his cousin knows about me and since me and his cousin are good friends he tells me that he (the guy i have a thing with) always talks about me and says im amazing , and that he really , really likes me and all this other cute stuff.
so i really am considering your previous advice because he makes me like the happiest person ever and like, straight up makes everything more fun and entertaining, but uggghh why doesnt he show it at school!? haha (link)
| |
Well love, If he only wants to be with you when he's not around other people, it's quite possible that he likes you as a friend or for casually sex but not as a relationship girl. So don't sell yourself short. If he's keeping you a secret, he's just not that into you and if you are looking for a relationship, don't give yourself to him until you are sure he's into an exclusive relationship with you. Don't have casual sexual encounters with him expecting that cause him to fall for you, you could be the best sex he's ever had and if he isn't ready for a relationship, you won't be able to change his mind. You have to know what YOU want from the relationship and don't give yourself away for less.
|
|
she has been avoiding me lately yesterday she waved with her back toward me and she been not saying hi and not talking t o me i really want her back please we are just friends is there any way can talk talk her again (link)
| |
Love, let it go. She's just not that into you. If you chase her she'll just run faster. You are turning her off. If a server comes up to you at a restraunt and offers you liver, you say no, I'm sorry, I don't like liver, she says, oh but you'll like this liver it's breaded and you say na, I'll pass I don't really care for liver, she says, you just have to have the liver, it has a spice that'll blow your mind. Do you think it's possible that her pushing you to try the liver will make you want liver? No. Why? because you don't like liver.... The same is true when it comes to our taste in the opposite sex. The next time you get hungry you will probably avoid the restraunt that tried to force you to eat liver. The same is true of a female who you try to force to like you. If you aren't careful you'll ruin even your chance of being casual friends because she will be so turned off by you.
|
F/22 Boyfriend is 21
My and my boyfriend have been together for a little over a year now. Things were so perfect in the beginning! And even up to a couple months ago they were still perfect. He is an amazing guy, basically the dream guy. Would do sweet things for me, would always want me in his arms, would always kiss me and remind me how much he loves me. Would drop everything if I needed him.
Well, lately that's not been the case :( He's been really stressed lately about several things. I'm pretty sure the number one stresser is things that are happening with his family. I'm also stressed. About several things. But lately its been seeming like our stress is ruining our relationship. We fight, like every day. He's not the same person he used to be. I feel unwanted. I always have to ask him for a kiss, he never lays with me anymore, and when I absolutely need him he won't be there for me. I don't know what has gotten into him. And I know he's not cheating on me i'm 100% positive, he's not that kind of guy.
I'm still so in love with him. All I want to do is try to talk things out. But every time I try to say how I'm feeling he'll say "Why are you bringing this up." or "Why are you always trying to start a fight." "I don't want to talk about this." He doesn't get that I'm not trying to start a fight, I'm trying to fix our relationship! I know he still loves me, because he hasn't let me go and he tells me he will always love me no matter what. I'm being pushed aside, and basically being forced to hide my feelings and emotions cause he doesn't wanna talk about it and figure things out. How can I get him to realize that in order for our relationship to be better, we have to make changes and talk things out.
We're not ready to let this relationship go, but fighting every day is not acceptable. (link)
| |
"To be understood, you must first seek to understand" Christian Carter. I read Christian Carter's e-book. It has a lot of bs but it also has some sound advise. Especially when it comes to communication and how we women try to get men to understand us by trying to "Convience them that we are right" he says it like buying a new car. We all would love to buy a new car but no one wants to be SOLD a new car. We are automatically turned off by the pressure that we feel from the other person when they are trying to conveince us to do something. So first seek to understand his point of view and offer yourself up to him. Ask yourself, "How can I make this situation easier for him?" Once a few of the stressors are off his plate and he no longer feels pressure from you, he'll be much more open to doing something playful with you which is the ultimate goal because that's where the connection starts back up for the man. They want light, fun, easy love. It's hard to be deep. Also be careful not to sophocate him right now. If he has a lot going on, he may not be able to be at your beckon call. Find other avenues of fulfillment, go out with your girlfriends, it's unfair to ask him to meet all your emotional needs. He sounds like a great guy and you seem to love him very much. Good luck love.
|
|
Since childhood i was made to feel worthless (from father)i was 2nd &reminded of who i wasnt &a glimpse of me would be told off for daring to be someone else but who i tried to be was me.from there i put myself in mysery to fight for my dignaty ,whith handfulls of happiness ,laughing to me is such joy when it happens i relish it.My biggest problem as an adult is i have 5children&apartner &as a family im the leader to outings but any invites to anybody ,i excuse myself ,i have anxiety but its having to communicate that il reherse if its an unbreakable commitment ,&if i let myself be seen mentally i feel a second of relief the shame&anger for lettin my thoughts out why (link)
| |
Have you ever sought professional help to deal with you past? If issues from the past haunt you, even subconciously, they will hold you back emotionally, psychologially and socially. I was sexually mistreated as a child from the second grade until I was 13 y/o. I never told a living sole. Later, when my oldest child was near the same age that I was when the sexual mistreatment had started with me, I began acting out sexually, not realizing that it was at all related to the fact the my past was coming back to get me because I'd never dealt with it. I was subconciously afraid that my son would have the same experience and also I had tons of guilt and still blamed myself and carried a ton of shame for my past, which I had no control over. I ended up being diagnosed as a sex addict, it cost me my (14 year) marriage, I spent a year in therapy and 9 days on the emotional health unit at the hospital. It's been excutiating but I've began to deal with it. I'm an RN so being admitted to the "Psych Ward" was a scary thought for me. I actually feared that I'd loose my nursing license but let me tell you, it's been the best thing that I could've ever done. I did it for me. I did it for my children. You also need to seek help. Work thru all that old stuff so you can be the best father to those beautiful children that you can be. You are obviously sincere about getting help or you wouldn't have posted your question on here. Just take that step. You wont regret it. TRUST ME.
|
|
have a great day to the one who reads this... am 20 years old(female)..i am from india.i fell in love with a boy..he also loves me truly...but all the people in our class making funny comments of both of us which hurts me a lot..on another side my boyfriend hurts me so much by making complains often that am not taking care of him...because of that am just getting irritated and feel like crying because i cant lead a happiest life in my college and also with him...my boyfriend is not at all understanding me and scolding me like a hell even i make silly mistakes... now am worrying that why i fell in love..what the hell made me do this.. i can't leave him now because he will suffer a lot thinking of me..and i should also not miss a guy like him because no one can care for me in this world like him...but i cant lead a happiest life..i hate all my college friends and also am not at all fine being with my boyfriend.. just hate everything....feel like dying..what to do at this situation please guide me..am so much depressed and suffering a lot...please i need advice.. (link)
| |
Dear "about getting out of my depression." Wow, where to begin..... First, Dump him. You are not responsible for his happiness. You ARE, however, responsible for your own happiness and well being. You seem like a very sweet lady but you let other people blame you for their bad mood. Your "boyfriend" has no right to ever scold you!! Even if you make a very bad mistake, he is not your father. And as for no one ever caring for you like he does.... you're fooling yourself honey. He doesn't care for you. He cares for himself. He is a self centered egotistical man who makes you think it's your sole responsiblity in life to make him happy and meet his every whim. Well, I'm sorry love but he needs to get in touch with reality. But since it's not him seeking help and no one can change him but himself.... it's you who is seeking help, the only thing you can do to improve your situation is to get as far away from this looser as possible. And you so-called friends too. If they were true friends, they'd accept you for who you are and be happy for you if you are happy. If however, they are seeing how he is treating you and trying to make you see that he's a jerk.... perhaps you should give them an ear and listen to them, they are saying it because they love you. You may not be able to see it right now because you are thinking with your emotions/ not your logic.
|
|
21/f. So there's this boy in my class. he's 24. And he is such a flirt. He always stares at me. We joke around a lot, and we've become pretty close. He always stares at me and i'll ask him why he always stares at me, and he'll just smile at me. I stare at him too. so yeah. He ooked right at me when i walked into class once, and was smiling at me, but i didn't look at him and i just rolled my eyes. haha. But my only thing is that in the past i'd get too excited and start assuming things and end up getting my heart broken :/ Yesterday we worked on our project together, and then when we were finished he said he had to take care of some business, and that he'll come back and check on me. So he came back and i was taking a quiz and he helped, and we talked. I thought it was sweet, but i wasn't sure if he was just being nice maybe? Like i said before i don't want to jump to conclusions. What do you think? Does he like me? Should i see where this goes? I am not sure if he likes me, or if he even has time for a girlfriend if he's even remotely interested in me since he works a lot. so yeah. (link)
|
Thanks for your comment, Sorry I misinterpretted your question when you said "he's such a flirt" I thought you meant he was a flirt in general. Sorry again.
OK. Dear "does he like me?" guys think different than girls. There are men who are ready for a relationship and there are guys who just want to date, hang out, have fun, have a roll in the hay but nothing exclusive. If he's flirtatious with multiple girls, it's probably the later so watch his body language around other chicks. Don't sell yourself short either. If you are looking for a relationship, you won't be able to change his mind to be ready for a relationship if he is still wanting to keep things light and have fun with multiple partners. You MUST know what you want and don't ever ever settle for less. Once you've slept with him casually, you'll never be able to go back and change him to see you as someone he may want to be exclusive with. That must be established in the beginning. If you and him end up dating a few times and you feel like it may lead to more you need to let him know that you only sleep with men that you are exclusive with, if that's truly how you feel.
|
|
Since I was 14, I've been depressed. I'm now 20 and it hasn't subsided. I was diagnosed as Bipolar II a year ago and I'm now on wellbutrin and lithium. It does seem to help a little, I am very happy sometimes. But I constantly feel guilty about stuff I did in the past, or how I spoke to someone recently, etc.. I get upset over small things and have numerous crying spells every week. I'm seeing a therapist now but I don't know if she knows the extent of how I'm feeling. I don't know how to convey my thoughts without sounding retarded or psychotic. Another thing, I'm always thinking about killing myself or other people who've pissed me off. I can't talk to her about that. I tried with another therapist and they threw me in a hospital. Men I used to be in a relationship with, who've done me wrong, have no idea that I have homicidal thoughts about them on a day to day basis. I'm tired of being like this. I'm tired of being angry and sad and guilty, and I'm tired of mistreating my friends and family but I'm so easily annoyed, I'm always snapping. Most importantly, I'm just tired of being like this over nothing. Nothing traumatic has happened in my life to upset me this much. Nothing huge, anyway. Just a few traitors and liars and schemers. Just a lot of people that did little things to me, but the little things pile up until I can't even see the details anymore, all I see is a wall of anger and hurt. How do I make it stop? Can anyone relate? (link)
|
Solidadvise4teens says it all.... get help and be honest. I'm an RN and I know you feel crazy but you can't get the help you need if you don't tell the professionals what you feel. And a hospital stay in a good facility with a good emotional health department is crutial to make sure you get your medications adjusted correctly.
Thanks for your response. I'm not a psych professional and I've never worked on psych but I have been a patient on an emotional health unit. I was diagnosed with severe depression, suicidal ideations, OCD related to sexual addiction and history of sexual abuse... I'm not trying to make this about me. I just want you to know that I've been in a place where I felt very unstable. So tell me about your two previous stays.... Do you feel that it was benificial? Were you able to be totally honest about how you feel? Are you on any kind of suicide watch where you've signed a contract to contact a friend if you feel like harming yourself or do your parents and loved ones keep all knives and other potentially harmful objects locked away for you to use only under supervision? What are you doing to protect yourself and others right now? Please make a vow to at least call the suicide hotline if you feel like doing anything to hurt yourself or anyone else. 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
|
|
whats the most painless way to die (link)
| |
Go to your nearest emergency department immediately. Do NOT Be alone. Get help. This is not normal and you need to talk to someone. Nothing is worth killing yourself. It takes a stronger person to reach out for help than it does to take their life. Be the stronger person.
|
So I met this guy last April and we started dating by May. Everything with him is perfect. I am always so comfortable around and we know absolutely everything about each other. We talk on the phone for at least 4 hours a day, since I'm at school. He's a few years older. But lately I feel like all the amazing passion and love from the beginning of our relationship is gone. I recently read over our old texts to each other and I got such a horrible feeling in my stomach because our relationship is so different now. I know I feel the same and it isn't really on my end. For example he used to tell me he loved me so many random times throughout the day and now I'm the only one who ever says it. I asked him about it once and he said thats how It has always been, that I am always the one who says it first. He didn't even try to change things since he knew it was bothering me. He never EVER says I'm beautiful. Which i would never expect or nag him about. The fact that he used to always say it kind of hurts though. I don't think the fact I am away at school changed feelings because when we met we did the long distance thing for the first few months. I have some problems with his family too. His older brother is getting married and whenever we are all at dinner they only talk to her like I'm not there. He says they ask about me all the time though. But whenever I email his mom to talk she just tells me how she is and doesn't take interest in me. I brought this topic of our relationship not having any spark up to him and he told me its because our relationship is different. He said don't worry about it. The fact that he wasn't concerned either makes me nervous. I love him so much and I know that phase of our relationship or any relationship doesn't last forever but its just changed TOO much compared to the other relationships I have been in.
I'm just confused as to what to think of his response to this topic.
Sorry this was long. And thanks SO much for any advice/opinions. I really appreciate it. (link)
| |
Hmmmmm. Dear "All the passion is gone".... We've all been there. That phase don't last forever but it shouldn't totally go away. If you've mentioned it to him and he's blowing you off then maybe he's telling you something without saying it. It's normal for men to pull away at certain stages of the relationship and you will never be able to CONVIENCE him to change the way he thinks about things. No one ever likes to be convienced that they are wrong. It's kind of like being sold something. We all like to buy new things but NO ONE likes to be sold anything. A relationship with no passion is a disaster, trust me. You will never get what you need from a dead relationship. Been there! Done that!... It Don't work!!.
|
I like this guy in my class, and I think he likes me too. All the signs are there; he talks to me a lot, he comes over to me first when he has a question about something, he sits next to me whenever he can, etc.
So, my question is - what should I do to show him that I like him too? Note - I've had problems in the past with being TOO obvious, & not just to the guy, the whole class. This time (after practicing with a "crush" on some jerk in my class, just to see if I could be less obvious --- an incredible success by the way) I'm doing a pretty good job at making it very subtle, yet visible, & I don't want to break my streak.
So I want to know if anyone out there has a strategy or something that would help me with this. My goal is to show him that I like him, maybe even flirt a bit, & not to get him to be freaked out and run away, like the other guys I scared away...
Thanks to everyone who answers in advance! & I hope you have an amazing day! :) (link)
| |
ABSOLUTE BEST STRATEGY..... Limit the amount of time you spend in conversation with him at every encounter but say something that'll make him think of you later in the day. You could for example compliment his eyes or hair or clothes in a very matter of fact way then say, excuse me I have to go meet with my friend such and such. Next time you talk to him talk about how he always makes you laugh and he's incredible hilarious but then excuse yourself because you have something you must take care of. You see what I'm doing there? Make the conversation totally about him, girls are so into themselves and it's a nice change for a guy for the girl to SEE them, but then nothing is more impressive to a guy then for a girl to have her own life and to be able to keep herself intertained and have fun so immediately making yourself unavailable is a turn on to them and trust me... he'll be thinking of your sweet face later on in the day.
|
|
There's this guy tht goes to my church and I liked but I don't want to date him. But I still liked him but then my friend from church told me tht he liked her and then I stopped liking him. But then a week later he didn't look like he liked her tht much so I started liking him again. But then today at lunch this girl tht is kinda my friend said she was dating him and now I'm kinda mad. I think i kno y he doesn't like me tho. I think its because he thinks I'm to girly but Idk Wat to do bout tht. I don't kno Wat to do and I don't kno y I want him to like me anyway cause if I do I can't date him cause my older church friend said never date a church boy and I agreed to myself tht I wasn't gonna date this year. I don't kno Wat to do should I just give up or try to get him to like me but date other people. I don't kno please help!!!! (link)
| |
You sound very young, I know that because you are so worried about what this friend thinks and that friend said and also because you are considering that he might not like you because you are too girly. You need to be able to think for yourself.... what do YOU think about him? What do YOU feel about dating guys from your church? How do YOU feel about being a girly girl? Why aren't you dating anyone this year? If it's because you need the time to find yourself and get inside your own psyche and figure out what YOU want out of life then perhaps it's a good idea. Never depend on anyone else to define you!! If you don't know who you are and know your own self worth, be prepared to spend your whole life following this friends advise and then that friends advise and never really being able to settle problems within. To become a strong, confident, intellegent, independent, beautiful, lady you need to know that God created you to be able to think for yourself and you have worth and you never ever have to change who you are (who God made you to be) in order to be good enough for anyone.
|
So this guy pursued me majorly for a month and a week. We didn't sleep together immediately but eventually did. We've had awesome dates, great conversation, decent sex and a lot of fun together. I think things were moving too fast for him but he seemed to go along with it until after the fact. I emailed him a sweet message. He emailed me back a nice but less gushy message (Tuesday night). I didn't hear from him at all the next day (W) or today (Thurs) so today I sent him a text because I know he'll be gone for the weekend and it's not like him not to call. He's sick busy and getting ready for a trip but the thing is if it were me I'd still text or something. He's not a big texter. Doesn't get texts even sent to his phone but he's been so good about calling in the past that this is new and I think he's pulling back. What do I do?
(link)
| |
Get busy.... Do some of your favorite activities with your best girlfriend and enjoy the heck out of yourself. Nothing sexier to a man than a woman who can keep herself intertained and have fun without having to have him holding your hand. Wait for him to contact you.... maybe even miss his first call or so..... Give him the gift of missing you for once. Something about it is a real turn on to a guy. You're just a cool girl who knows how to have fun and you don't have to have him or any other dude to help you with it. You waiting around for him just makes you appear to be emotionally immature... like you need his presence, approval or contact to validate who you are. But you don't you see you are able to have fun without him.... so go do it!!!!
|
I would like to know, how to commit suicide without anyone knowing, seeing, hearing or finding me.
I hate my mum, due to her drama causing idiocy.
My SO CALLED mother, sent a text message to my aunty, saying that the aunty I'm living with, was starving me, while I was on weight watchers, and lost 12.2 kg in 4 weeks.
My mother ruined my happiness by saying that she/it thaught that my aunty was starving me, but really, I was (and still am) eating healthily, and enjoying it.
So, I want to just escape the satanism of life. (link)
| |
Dear Doomed to Family Drama, If you are truly considering suicide you need to see a professional right away, this kind of thought process is not normal. I am an RN and I have suffered with suicidal ideations in my past, I was admitted to the emotional health unit for nine days. It was the best thing that I could've ever done. Sounds like you have some pretty deep issues to be so young, maybe some abandonment stuff related to your mother not being hands on. You seem very bright, weight watchers is a great/healthy way to loose weight and if you're happy with the way you look and feel then don't let your mother ruin that for you. It sounds like she's just looking for some way to put down your aunty for the way she is carring for you and that probably comes from her own since of guilt for abandoning you in the first place. And I imagine that the reason that this comment hurt you so deeply coming from your mother, is because you are seeking her approval. You ache to have her see you as the beautiful, amazing person that you are and instead she turns it into something negative. I can't imagine how that made you feel. But suicide is not the answer. Tell your aunty the thoughts you are having and ask her to help you get some help right away.
|
|