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2 guys, how do i make up my mind?
im 18 f
where to even begin... before i was dating my bf that im dating right now (lets call him x), me and this other guy( lets call him y) were together. he was really good to me, he treated me so well and liked me a lot but last new years we were at a party and y was very clingy so i ignored him until he left the party and instead i hooked up with x. y still really liked me but i didnt feel the same way about him at the time. about 2 months later me and x started dating and by that time me and y didnt even talk anymore. me and x had a great summer together, we went camping with our friends and had the best time and we got to know each other so much better. because we didnt start just as friends we went from not really knowing each other to dating. that summer i really fell inlove with x. but i saw him always talking to this girl on his phone and i never really asked him about her but it bugged me because i never really knew they were friends or even talked before. about a month ago me and y started talking again because we work together, and one night after work we sat on our cars and talked till 2 in the morning. but it wasnt y trying to break me and x up or y trying to impress me, we were strictly being just friends, and over the next few weeks we hung out and we became really good friends and i really realized how much i missed him. one night there was a work party that we were both at and i realized that the feelings i originally had for him were still there and even tho i still love x, y means alot to me still too. and that night he told me that he misses me and really likes me. he told me he will do anything for me and he respects my relationship with x but he wanted me to know that he would make me his everything. it really tore me and at the same time me and x were developing problems. it feels like x is taking me for granted and that he doesnt appreciate me, i have to ask him to have sex with me and sometimes he doesnt even want to, like it doesnt bother me that much but it sucks when i get blown off for sex. other things are that when we have sex he wont kiss me or make out with me while having sex with me :( it makes me feel like a hooker that he doesnt want to "make love" to but only to fuck. and he normally doesnt usually kiss me or make out with me on a daily basis. and when we do have sex he doesnt let me take my clothes off :( jsut pull my pants down and thats it. and y is making it seem that i deserve so much more and would make me feel appreciated. but me andx have been together for almost a year now and i love his friends and i love his family :( what do i do? :( im so lost it sucks.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Oh girl.... Dump the x..... Nothin in the world can ever take place of love making and if y is giving you a second chance you better jump on it and never take it for granted again.
But, don't just dump x and jump back in bed with y. Here is why.... Y likes you and right now he may think he's over the fact that you broke his heart but there may still be some trust issues you need to work thru. Try taking the physical love making off the table for a few months and focus on the relationship. (The trust, respect, love, attraction, etc.)
You see men fall in two different catagories, they either see you as a potential mate and they are ready to settle down OR they see you as a play mate and they don't want to be exclusive. If you begin the relationship as the later, you will never be able to conveince your man that you are the former. You want a man to "make-love" with you, you have to have a love connection. That takes a relationship men who are only looking to be play mates will not make that sort of emotional investment.
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From what I just read, it sounds like you like y much better... because of all the things he does that x doesn't - such as appreciate you and make love to you the way you would like. Also, it sounds to me like you fell in love with x's family more so than him... I could have got the wrong impression by what I read, but that's how I see it. Even though you've been together, I think your heart is telling you to chose y again...
COnfuSing, but I think if you talk to x about all the things you don't like right now, such as the sex thing, maybe he will come around and you will want to be with him because you two have fixed those problems. Now, don't make it seem like he is bad at sex, just mention that you would like it if he took off all your clothes or said sweet things to you or kiss you more. Then, after having the talk, see if things change over time; give it a month. If after that you think he will always be that way, you always have option b: y. He will be there for you. Until you and x sort things out, just stay friends with y cuz he is right in that you deserve better. All you have to know is: try to fix the relationship you are in first, then in a month make the real decision and finalize it. You know y will be there for you all the time and you already know he is sweet, but there's no need to dump the guy you're with without trying first. A year is a long time, but think about the long run... in a month, which guy would you really want to be with? Think about it, talk to x, and give it a month. You'll make the right decision then <3
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