Everything Thing you need to know about love and Relationships is right here!
E-mail: jmimms@cts.edu
Gender: Female
Location: Indianapolis
Occupation: Student
Age: 30
Member Since: August 9, 2007
Answers: 40
Last Update: August 27, 2007
Visitors: 3182
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15/m. well whenever i go on a date with this girl, i find it really hard to like talk. we both do. theres nothing really to say. weve talked about everything. ive asked about her, what she likes, what she doesnt etc and vice versa. there really is nothing to talk about. there will be odd moments of silence for like 1 minute or two when no one says anything. (link)
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Sometimes when you cannot find anything to talk about it is because you don't have enough in common or there is something that you want to talk about, but can't. Maybe you need to kiss her or hold her hand. sometimes people are more comfortable communicating physically first before they do verbally. Another thing, get used to the silence so that you are not uncomfortable. Silence is good that means that she is thinking about you and you can think about her.
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Okay, so to understand me i am going to have to go back in time and get some background and it might be long but please, i need the help. I am going to use some fake names otherwise it could get confusing.
SOO;; towards the end of the school year my bestfriend, Jason, told me that this kid Steve said i was hott so Jason said he would talk to me about him and see what i thought about him. I told Jason that i thought steve was realllly cute. So me and steve started to talk and then school was about a week till over for summer. Steve ended up telling me that he liked me and i told him i liked him too. THen STeve said "Wouldnt it be weird though since summer is coming and we will barely see eachother" but i had figured we woulda hung out. ((which we didnt)) everytime i would try he couldnt. So the entire summer has gone by and i still havent seen him and i havent talked to him in about 2 weeks or so. something like that. THen, whenever i will try and talk he doesnt talk back, like texting. So i have no clue if he doesnt like me or what. i think he may like this other girl...but i have no idea. i really need some help.
**sorry its longg =[ ** (link)
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Move on, you're too young to hang on to something that is so unstable. These are the years relationships are fun; leave the complicated stuff for adulthood.
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Sorry if this is long, but i need to explain some things before i ask the question...
So, here's the story. Me and my boyfriend, now ex, were going out for 4 months. Yet, he was just a real jerk to me sometimes. He treated me like i was just his normal friend. He wouldn't come pick me up or ask me if i needed rides to places. He asked me a couple of times to pay for things, and he would never start conversations. He would do things just to annoy me and at times, he was just plain mean. At first i wanted things to work so i told him a few times he had to change the way he acted, and the first time he said he couldn't change, and the rest he said he'd try but i never really saw a change. I was just fed up and gave up. Anyway, we're not together anymore, but he was my first boyfriend and I'm just scared that this relationship hurt me because now i don't have a great outlook on guys. I want to date again, but i want a good boy who treats me like the center of his world.
Is how my ex acted how all guys act? Or are there some out there that are better? Can anyone give me any hope for the future?!
Thanks! and sorry this was soo long =) (link)
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Sounds like this is an issue greater than the guys you choose to date. how is your radar? do you pay attention to red flags? This guy seems emotinally unavailable and abusive. where have you seen or experienced these characteristics before? Examine your relationship with your parents and close relatives. What kind of relationship do you have with them? Are any of them abusive or emotinally unavailable? To answer your question, no all guys aren't like that.
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K well I’m 14/f. I have a boyfriend that I don’t know what to do with. I mean all of my friends are like break up with him but I don’t know if I can I mean he’s so hypnotizing! Like the first time we broke up it was because I heard he cheated but I never had proof. So I asked him and he flipped saying if that’s what I wanted to believe that’s what I should do. So I was all like w/e and so we broke up. That same night he came over to my house with his cousin when I was on the buoyancy and we got back together. The next day I saw him flirting wit some girls so I decided to hang out with his homies which were all guys at the moment. So he calls me and says, “o so I guess I wasn’t good enough for you.” then he clicked. We started arguing and I brought up how he ignores me in front of his friends and how he treats me like trash and all the other girls he flirts with. Then he was all like I do the same thing with guys when that was the first time. We ended up making up the next day and he talked to his friends telling them not to talk to me or else which I didn’t find out until later then he said I couldn’t kick it with any more guys. Then he started being way more affectionate in public. I mean he’s sweet too though like he buys things for my lil sis and he’s good with kids & funny. But the other day I asked him where our relationship stood, was it for the summer or more and it was funny cuz we talked about how this relationship could fail but we never broke up. one of my friends said he’s using me for sex but we haven’t done it for like a month and he’s still with me. But I don’t know y he’s still with me when I’m 14 and he’s turning 17.
Well please your opinions and help on this thank you. =] (link)
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Girl,
you are too young to be dealing with stuff like that. Relationships at your age should be fun and exciting! He doesn't sound very honest. Have you heard the saying that the truth hurts? Well in this case he was hurting when you called him on his cheating. Your friends know you best, you might want to listen to them this time. I know it's hard to let him go, but you've got to take care of yourself. You deserve much better than this.
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hey
15/f
I wanna start off by saying that I dont want to sound stuck up or into myself or anything.
Anyway, I havnt had my first kiss yet. Im not prude. Alot of guys like me and think im hot, something just usually goes wrong before I kiss them. I've done other stuff, just not kissing. Is this really lame?
Also
When I do have my first kiss, I want it to seem like I know what im doing. Can I do this through just being confident or should I practice or something....? Also are first kisses really that important? Or should I just get it over with so I have some experience for someone I do really really like
(link)
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First kisses are first kisses. It would be nice to be able to look back and always remember how nice it was. However, that's all that is to it. If you want to seem like you know what you are doing here are a few tips. practice kissing on your arm. Make sure you use your tongue wisely don't try and choke the guy with it and most of all remember to breath. Relax, it will be a piece of cake if you are kissing someone you like and trust and if the feelings are mutual.
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Ok.. I am new to this thing. So i dont know exactly what Im doing, and I cant believe I am doing this! But I need help. Me and my boyfriend had sex, used a comdom. I am just a couple days later for my period BUT I am having really bad stomach pains, my lower back is killing me, Im having vagina pains, feeling sick in the middle of the day and bad headaches. Could I be pregnant?.. (link)
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you could be. You should get tested for any std's and take a pregnancy test for starters. Your body could be changing it depends on how long you have been having sex. It could also be psychosomatic. You know you are having sex, so the logical things is to think about whether you are pregnant or not regardless if you used protection or not. Wait a little while, you might get your period.
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I'm a 19 year old female who is getting married soon and I am meeting my new soon to be inlaws now and things aren't going so great. My problem is that we were all outside smoking and I had my fiance's and mine cigarettes and he came over and told me to give him a cigarette. I told him that I would if he would ask me, so he said give me a fuckin cigareete. I kept saying that if he said please and asked me I would so he got mad and walked away. His aunt is over protected and he's a mommas boy. She got mad at me and I feel like I did something wrong when I think I didn't do anything. I don't know how to handle this cause I know he will not stand up to her. I want us to handle our disagreements in private. Don't know what to do please help me....!!!! (link)
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You certainly have a right to tell him how you want to be treated. However, I am not entirely sure the way that you did it was appropriate. Was that your natural behavior requesting him to say please or was something else going on with you that would cause you to act differently. It sucks, but sometimes you have to do certain things to win over in-laws and then gradually introduce your idiosyncracies. Otherwise, they feel like you are coming in and changing things. Good luck on your wedding!
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well..my ex i dated him when i was young and i was so stupid i messed things up he used to hate me well dislike me i guess but then we became friends again and im older now that i relized what i had and now i regert it cause i miss him..but now he has found him someone else they have been together awhile and he relly loves her me and him talks every now and then i have told him so many time s to come to my house and see me cause i miss him and he said he dk cause he dont want his woman mad but but he came by today and i wasnt home so i called him he said u know anyone for my cousin he is single and wants someone and i said my frined theycan meet she is here and i said u should relly come see me tommrow and he said well only for my cousin so what do you think i still have strong feelings for him id do anything to be with him again he is the man of my dreams and i think he knows that but i mean he showwd up outta the blue today he said he was in town lettin his cousin shop (link)
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sweatheart, move on. This guy has and he is in love with someone else. You want to be with someone that can give all of himself. If he visits you everynow and then that's not all of him. It sounds like he has something good with this other girl, why would he mess that you with you? Go find you another love, it will happen again and you'll be able to get over him, I promise.
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well .. i really like this boy but the problem is he has a girlfriend. i know i shouldnt interfere but i just cant help it i really like him. and recently ive started seeing a lot of him and its just making me like him even more. but this weekend i was out with him, and we ended up kissing, and he told me stuff like he fancies me.. and keeps talkin about when hes single whats going to happen with us and stuff.. but its doing my head in because how long does that mean, i am prepared to wait for him.. but i dont wanna if hes going to stay with her.
when i was with him.. his girlfriend was also ringing.. and he was ignoring her calls answould say things like.. ahh i hope shes trying to finish me.
before i hooked up with him that night.. i hooked up with another lad.. and he was realy mad with me about it.. bt weve talked about it now and were ok!
please help me its doing my head in.. does he actually mean it .. or is he just playing with my head? (link)
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You are a woman and that means you have the control over the relationship. This guy is not into you and he is incapable of being into anybody. How would you feel if you were the girl he was ignoring? Doesn't feel so good huh? Well, in a couple of months or so that will be you. He will be telling another girl what he's going to do with her when he leaves you. Is that really what you want? You deserve more let him know that!
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F/15
okay well im a virgin and ive barley had my first kiss. and theres this guy who i really like and we havent meet. he lives in jersey. but anyway movining on. we were talking and he asked how far i would go with him. and i dont know how far i would go. mainly because ive never made out with anyone and im really idk i feel awkard talking about it but i was just wondering how far is too far for my first hook up?
thanks. (link)
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Are you ready to have sex my dear? You are the only one that can decide this. If you are asking, you're not. Making out leads to sex, so if you start there be prepared eventually to go all the way. I would love to tell you to wait, but it would be futile. At least, when you do have sex make sure it is with someone you trust and love. Otherwise, you might regret it. Also, ask a lot of questions before you decide to do anything. btw where did you meet this guy? If online make sure he is not a sexual predator. Good luck!
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My boyfriend tells me that he can't go take me places to do stuff because he is strapped on cash... hes "strapped on cash" but i find like 5 new porn videos and a new 15 dollar porn magazine.. and he tells me he can't do take me out to do stuff cuz he doesn't have money. He thinks im overreacting when i get pissed... what do you think? isn't there something wrong here? (link)
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How long have you been with this guy? How long has this been a problem. I'm guessing since day one and if this is the case things will never change. He spends money on what he wants to and that is not you. Sounds like there could be an addiction there. Are you strong enough to go up against an addiction? In other words, you might not be able to win this battle. You are not overreacting.
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Hey my problem is thats my best friend is going out with this really nice guy but when we went to the fair( I show a horse) she saw this guy that got kicked out of our school for sexual harassment and now she has been walking around holding hands with him but she hasnt even broken up with her boyfriend yet what should I say to her!
thx
kj (link)
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Is she your friend? do you love her? If you do you should help her. Let her know that she is being dishonest. Let her know how it makes you feel to see her in this way. You have a responsbility to make sure that your friends and family are "doing the right thing". If this doesn't convince you do it because what she does to others will come back to hunt her and it will be worse. Do you want someone to do the same thing to her? Ask lots of questions and try not to blame her because she will only become defensive.
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I will try to sum this up as best I can. I have been single over a year now after having been with my ex, John for 6 years. I am 21, so as you can see, he was my only REAL relationship. It wasn't a very healthy one, & I have now been seeing someone new for about 2 weeks. Already I can see the damage from my past relationship affecting the way I interact w/ Wes (the new guy). The first example was when we were hanging out & he was being kind of sarcastic with me and then suddenly asked me for a backrub. The current circumstances & the way he said it made me have an actual flashback of my ex, who would constantly ask me for backrubs even after being a jerk to me, & then guilt trip me when I refused him. I blurted out, "you sound just like my ex". I immediately felt horrible & later apologized for my harsh words. Now I have come to realize that b/c of John I am afraid of intimacy. Wes & I sleep together, but I refuse to make the first move, or to throw myself at him for fear of rejection & being humiliated. John wasn't very interested in sleeping with me, and would push me away, telling me to get off him when I would try to initiate intercourse. Usually when we did get intimate, it was to shut me up. So, Wes has, in so many words, confessed that he would like me to show some initiative in the bedroom on occasion, & I do want to, but I constantly find myself sitting there thinking out exactly what I'm going to say & do, & then I clam up... and then I refuse. I don't know what to do. Because of my prior mistake, Wes does not want me mentioning my ex around him (understandably) but I am not sure how to tell him what I am feeling & going through without explaining what my ex put me through. What can I do to make sure I put in my half of the effort to make this new relationship go smoothly? (link)
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If you are feeling uncomfortable about telling your new boyfriend how you feel, that might be an indicator that you are not ready to be sleeping with him. We are sexual beings and therefore, sex is natural. you don't have to rehearse what you will say or do becuase it just comes to you. However, when you're not comfortable this can inhibit these natural instincts. Take some time and talk with this new guy, tell him what makes you angry and what makes you happy. Let him know that you should be able to talk about painful memories with him regardless if they are about your ex or not. It is to his advantage to learn what hurt you so he doesn't repeat it. If you want things to run smoothly, slow down and get to really know him. You can always have sex with a person, but connecting with another person is worth so much more.
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I really like this guy in my school and I told my BFF and she promised to keep its secret but the next day she told another girl and now to make it worse that girl went up to this certain boy and told him that I like him, and before I could hang out with him and be fine but now I get really embaresed my friends keep telling me to ask him out but I know he wouldnt go out with me because I'm not very pretty:(, and I am kinda shy but I am still madly in love with him and I havent even seen him since May 26, what should I do! (link)
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Life is about taking chances. I know that there is a lot at stake, but if you feel that deeply about him let him know. All he can do is say no. I want to impress upon you the idea of having confidence in yourself. Guys can detect when a girl has low self-esteem and either will take advantage or stay away. If you want to be able to get the guy, have confidence in yourself; it's very attractive!
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hey. i have a bit of an interesting situation going on. i hadn't heard from my boyfriend in a couple of days, so i was a little worried. but, he texted me saying that he was very sorry, it was just that his grandmother was in the hospital and he was having a hard time and kind of went into a coop, which is something he tends to do when he worries, he hides in his shell. but, just yesturday, i was in the hospital, and i had spent the night before there with the IV, and I was feeling so bad because I hadn't heard from him and I didn't want to call him crying about me being there either. but, i don't want to sound greedy by telling him that he has to communicate with me, because he didn't know that I was in the hospital too, and I felt really bad in that hospital, not having heard from him, or him having been there, you know what I mean? but, i feel really bad for the grandmother, because she's so sweet, and I don't want to sound greedy, like I'm the only one who should have his attention. I just feel like I was put to the side, which I know he didn't mean to do, I really don't want a lecture on that right now. but, i know how he gets with this. he doesn't deal with these types of things well. i'm even thinking it's better if he were to find out through someone else about the hospital, instead of me, you know? can anyone give me some advice here? (link)
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This is your boyfriend right? What do you need him for? If he can't be there when you need him, why is he around? Communication is the only way a relationship can survive. It brings the two of you closer together. it's what make the relationship so intimate. I understand we all have different ways of dealing with stress, but you can use this event to teach him how you want to be treated and how to handle stress more effectively. It is appropriate to tell him that when things get too stressful that he should let you know that he is stressed out and will talk to you later about it. Let him know that it hurts you when he leaves you out of his life. You have that right. If this is your boyfriend you have the right to depend on him, so calling him is okay. Whine if you want to; you have that right.
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Hey Guys-- Things are a mess right now and I could really use some advise.
My long-term boyfriend and I (of almost 4 years) seperated in early june and just started seeing eachother again last week. During that seperation, I began seeing another guy who was really wonderful, but I just couldn't get over my ex.
Now that me and my boyfriend are back together things are going extremely well and we're falling in love with eachother all over again...
But here's where it gets interesting...I just found out that I'm pregnant...and it MUST belong to the guy I was seeing when my BF and I were seperated. I have no idea what to do...I can't have an abortion (well, I won't have an abortion) but I don't know if my boyfriend would stay with me knowing that I'm carrying another man's child.
Any advise (ANY AT ALL) is appreciated. Thanks in advance. (link)
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It is what it is. You have a choice and it sounds like you have made it. You will not have an abortion, so you will have to deal with those consequences. I know you love your boyfriend, but you've done nothing wrong. you weren't together when you got pregnant, so if he can't handle it he can't. You have new responsibilities now. The baby needs you to be healthy and strong. The mess is not as big as you think. The hurdle is telling him about the baby what follows after, you'll be able to deal with. If this guy is for you he will stay. He might be terribly hurt and may blame you, but he's yours. And if he's not then there's nothing you can do about it. You can't make someone love you or be with you. If the two of you love each other, trust in that love to help make your decision.
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well my brother has this friend and his name is josh. i really like him like that and i think he likes me back because my mom can tell when he comes over he always looks at me,taks to me,sits with me,and we have lots of fun together but my brother wont let us date and he wont ask me out because he is afraid of what my brother will do but my mom says go for it.and i really want to but ther is this other guy that i like named eric and he moved away but we will go to high school togeather in like two years should i wait for eric or go for josh now?
im 15 and female help me,
chira (link)
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you're so young to be thinking long term. If you like this boy and you believe he likes you, then at the least have a conversation about it. If he tells you he is not interested, then that's really the worst that can happen. Eric is two years away and you have no idea where emotionally you will be in two years. If this guy makes you feel out of control and that whatever it is feels bigger than you, you should go for it. One thing to remember though. I know these days girls don't wait for the guy to pursue them anymore, but if you let him he will always pursue you. If you don't however, you will always be chasing him. Do you want that?
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Okay, so I'm turning 15 in November, and I've had 2 boyfriends, both were my best friends at the time, and in 5/6th grade. Guys just don't seem to like me.
I've been told I'm nice, but I'm definately not pretty. Although I wouldn't say I'm butt ugly:
[this is my myspace, to see the picture:
www.myspace.com/stephanie_elizabeth121a
I would just like to know some tips on getting boys to like me more. (link)
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First you have to like yourself. Guys can pick up on someone who have low self-esteem and either stay away or take advantage. You might want to be careful becuase you seem susceptible to being taking advantage of. learn to love yourself and your flaws; it's what makes you beautiful. Once you do that, guys will break thier necks trying to talk to you. Confidence makes us all beautiful and attractive.
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can anyone explain to me how to makeout? i mean ive only kissed like on the lips. i know this sounds soooo nerdy and im embarrased for asking but im really curious. everyone thinks i get like all these guys, and that ive done so much. I correct them but they still think of me as some kind of sex queen. :[ but if you could just tell me like how you make out. i would appreciate it...everyone says it comes natural but i just want to know what to do! please help (link)
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I think you should listen to what people are telling you. We are sexual beings and therefore, the instinct is there. however, I can resonate with you by wanting to know technically what to do. Here are a few tips. First know what you are willing to do and not do (kiss w/tongue, remove articles, etc.) Make sure you are not in a compromising position for example in a place where you cannot escape. Make sure the guy knows how far you are willing to go. Make sure you at least like the guy you're making out with. If you do, you will feel it and something inside will direct you.
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HI,,
I really really like this guy, and he says he likes me too,, but he likes my friend,, and my friend doesnt know i like him. We have been getting on really well, and i love him, and he says he does too, but because he likes the friend of mine aswel, and my friend like him, i am stuck in the middle, and i have no idea how to sort it! I would love to be with him more than anything, but how do i tell my friend i like him??
PLEASE HELP!!
ANNA =]] (link)
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This guy needs to make up his mind who he wants to be with. Either he likes you or your friend. Good friends are hard to come by; if she's worth saving the relationsip find another object to love. He doesn't seem worth it if he can't decide who he wants to be with. I know it's hard and we don't choose who we fall in love with, but speaking from experience if he is undecided now, he will always be and it's easier to get out now than later when your feelings have grown to something much deeper. Get out girl!
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