Everything Thing you need to know about love and Relationships is right here!
E-mail: jmimms@cts.edu
Gender: Female
Location: Indianapolis
Occupation: Student
Age: 30
Member Since: August 9, 2007
Answers: 40
Last Update: August 27, 2007
Visitors: 3180
Main Categories:
Love Life
Families
Spirituality
View All
|
| |
I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 21
I was very sick yetsterday since i had a stomoch ache due to periods.I cudnt call my boyfriend the whole day yetserday even tho i was supposed to cos i could hardly talk (bcos i was having a severe pain).So instead i called him last night.He was really pissed with me.you see while browsng hi5 the day before yesterday i came across a celebrity's profile.My freind natasha is crazy on him.So I mailed that celebrity on behalf of natasha to ask him his handphone number cos natasha couldnt go online to do so since she has a computer breakdown.
My boyfriend has seen the mail yesterday and he thinks i mailed that celebrity becos i'm crazy on person or something.
so he was really pissed with he. he says "if u can mail that celebrity to ask his phone number why cant you call me?, havent you got time?"
I love my boyfriend aloooot and it hurts me the way he talks.I think the world of him and i think he's the most handsomest guy on earth.How do i explain this to him?
I know he loves me alot too.
He probably thinks i dont love him at all.
please, what do i so about this. please help me.
I'm really depressed.
I wopuld sure appreciate it alot if i could get some help (link)
| |
It sounds like there is a big misunderstanding. However, these can be easily cleared up if you trust one another. being a woman I know how painful stomach aches can be, I also know how annoying it is when people say that they are going to call, but then they don't. If you want your boyfriend to trust you you have to be trustworthy. A texted would have been helpful just to say that you are really sick and will call him later. That would let him know that you are thinking of him and respect him. He has no idea of what was going on and all he sees is you making an extra effort to e-mail your friend. He could be a little insecure of your dedication to him...not your problem unless you have given him a reason to believe so. Darling, call him and apologize for not calling him and ask him what he would like for you to do if this happens again. Also, let him know that you were really sick and if your friend asked you to do this when you were sick you would not have done it either. this is the case isn't it?
|
|
I am 15 and a female. my cousin and I are only a year apart.(he's younger) and I have always been sort of close with him and I liked that. I like being close with my family. but when I am with him it is different. I guess you can even say I have a crush on him & it has been harder to refuse with each passing year and whenever I see him. what should I do. im so confussed & I know this isn't right. Thank you! (link)
| |
These feelings are very typical. It sounds like your cousin is your best friend and the two of you click. You are at the age where love is about seeing yourself in someone else's eyes. I am going to take a guess and say you feel your best when you are with him. Most of us equate this feeling with love and love with sex. Don't be alarmed, you are in love with him, but it does not have to be sexual. These feelings will pass. Make sure you set boundaries. Get a boyfriend that always helps. Just to let him know that you are off limits and to remind yourself that he is off limits. I would even suggest double dating so that the two of you can have a clearer understanding of what kind of relationships are appropriate. You get kudos for worrying about this. Some people just go with the flow and end up sleeping with thier cousins and then regretting it.
|
15/f.
I have never made out. I know its sad, im old! :P But whenever I just peck a guy he tries to stick his damn toungue in my mouth. And I back away like noo! I would love to just go and makeout with the world, but I am worried I will make a complete fool of myself and then like the guys will be like wow what a loser haha. I know it comes natural, but when I'm about to makeout with someone I just get all weirded out and freaked, even with a guy I am seriously attracted to! It makes me sad when I can't just go out and have fun and kiss the cute guy I'm hanging with haha! Plus I want to actually have a boyfriend, and when guys ask me out I turn them out, because its weird to date someone without making out or doing anything. My last boyfriend all we did was hug and peck haha. What would help me not be so nervous and just do it already?! Also, after I get the hang of that, say I'm in a relationship..well I am NOT giving it up to some guy I'm dating, thats for marriage. But will the guy like leave me if the only thing we do it makeout, like not even bj or hj or any of that stuff? I would think most guys would at least want more than kissing.. :/
Thanks so much sorry its long I appreciate everyones answers and for reading all this! (link)
|
Sweetie,
You don't sound ready to make out with anybody and fifteen is not by all means old. It sounds like you feel pressured to start making out becuase everyone else is. Preserve yourself for as long as you want to. If you feel like that is all the guy wants from you is to make out, then your right to say no. However, if this is just fear of failing, you have to get over that. Making out will come natural. If all else fails, let him take the lead. Just know that making out leads to sex and if you are not ready for that and want to wait for marriage, you might want to be careful.
|
Well im going to try and sum this up as best as I can.
So i guess you could say I had a "summer fling"
it was more like a "sex fest".
But he was still my very good friend and we talked all the time.
I have liked him for sooo long ,like about 2 years.
Just recently,since we are kind of like "fuck buddies" if you'd say ,well we were scared that he got me pregnant,because the condom broke ,and i was very very scared.
I recently got a test and it was negative,thank god because I am very young,but it was deffinetly deffinetly a BIG TIME scare.Ofcourse,he was kind of mean about it and even if i was pregnant ,he wouldnt care [yes i realize hes a jerk]
But I do love him because I know deep down hes not,but he said something about "never having sex again" which was fine with me because of this scare and we learned our lessons but i said if we could still be friends and he said "yeah" and he said he wasnt going to hate me or anything.
So ,i figured that was fine.But ever since that,he didnt really say much online.
Usually he talks alot alot more and he honestly barely talked,i mean maybe it was just because he was busy or tired or something But im not sure.
I think yes he was using me for sex ,but i know he's my friend.I just want to get over him completely and like someone new but its been so long and Im not used to not seeing him everynight like we used to.
Can someone help me here?
Im not a slut,hes the only guy I ever have done anything with. (link)
| |
Life sucks doesn't it? The good thing is time really helps out. Yes, you have to do new things and reposition your life. Take it one day at a time. It's funny I was reading your question and you stated that, "I think yes he was using me, but I know he's my friend." That's impossible! Do you use your friends? Sweetheart he is doing you a favor by staying away; it gives you space to reflect and move on with your life. Nothing good can come out of this except for more sex. Life is more than sex. You said it yourself, he's a jerk, he's using me, he was mean about it. There is no deep down; he is showing you who he is, but you refuse to see him. You want to believe so bad that he is a good person and that he doesn't mean to be a jerk, but in all honesty he is what he is.
|
|
Well .. lots of lads have been asking me out recenly for some reason and all of them are to good of mates .. but this one lad really really made me blush .. and i told him the same as the other lads that it will ruin friendship and things .. but since then i cant stop thinking of him and i say to my self i dont like him in that way but he wont get out of my head .. do i love him but not realise ?? im really confused .. i have been out with him before but he cheated on me ,, so i new then how much he really loved me ! he has been saying that he does love me like no-one else and that he was sorry for what he did .. im falling for him I THINK i keep saying i dont but i cnt get him out of my head !!!!!! what should i do help me someone please !x (link)
| |
Allow yourself to admit these feelings for him, but don'r act upon them. At some point you have to protect yourself. Hurt me once shame on you, hurt me twice shame on me. You are a young woman and that means power; we have got to start using our power and demanding respect from men. Yes, he's sorry, but he messed up. You're too good to give second chances for cheaters.
|
so my boyfriend travis and i have been dating for almost 7 months and basically im an idiot. i've cheated on him before but admitted to it then a couple of weeks later and well today we were talking on the phone and i lied to him saying my friend and i were going by to go get piercings and really we were going by another guy friend of ours house to go swimmming and so when my friend called me, i told travis to hold on and then was switchiing over to my friend and i guess i had linked the two calls instead on accident and so when my friend and i were talking he basically heard the whole story of how i might cheat and i was gonna hide the towels for swimming in my bag and everything. he then finally after a while told me that he was gonna go put the towels in his purse and i got the clue and i got scared and hung up.and ive been calling and texting him ever since and now idk what to do... i really messed up.
he's one of those typical nice guys.we havent said i love you yet and but we're pretty close.what do you think i should do? i know he's by his friends house (who by the way,hates me) because i passed by and saw his car.? :( (link)
|
Girl,
I wish I could say that you deserve another chance and give you advice on how to get him back, but I can't. You said it right, you messed up. Isn't it funny how things work out. Your boyfriend did not deserve your dishonesty. You can't continue to live your life this away. Don't you know what you do to people, the same will happen to you? It hurts to be betrayed. Learn to respect yourself and have integrity. Life is much easier to live this away. You sound as if you are drawn to chaos.
|
|
Hi..im a 14 turning 15 yr. old girl thats has a BIG crush on this older guy but i don't know how to tell him i want to be more than friends with him...i don't know what to do... (link)
| |
All he can say is no. Once you get it out you will feel much better. Let him know that you like him and can't stop thinking about him. Leave it at that. He can do whatever he wants with that information. If he likes you, he will pursue you, but if he doesn't he'll give you a speil about not being ready or not wanting to take that step with you. Your job is just to get it out. Regardless of how he responds, you will feel better.
|
|
I know this guy and were kinda friends but i really like him I call him some times and he told me he likes talking to me he's a tease so i don't know when he's serious.what do I do do you think he might like me. (link)
| |
Run!!!!!!!!! Occupy your time doing something else and let him pursue you. Otherwise, it becomes a chase and challenge for you and you will never catch him.
|
15/f
so this guy im dating broke up with me this morning because there was a lot of drama and people presuring him to brake up with me because this other guy whos kinda popular at my school wants to go out with me so he was getting his friends to try to get my boyfriend to brake up with me because he thinks my boyfriend doesnt treat me right, a lot of people tell me that and i really love him but i found out yesterday he cheated on me with my cousin.. i got mad more at my cousin then him and i said we could work it out, if it was any other guy i would have dumped him but i lost my virginity to this guy and he basically lives at my house and i dont want to leave him but i no i should and so he said today lets brake up for a couple days untill the drama stops but hes comming to my house on wednesday to stay for a week.. should i listen to everyone else and not see him anymore? or should i stay with heart and try to work things out? im so confused and this popular guy i was talking about i dont know i always look to see if hes online and i think i might kinda have a little crush on him ah im so confused? help?! (link)
|
Sweetheart,
Love shouldn't be this complicated at your age. What are your reasons for staying with this guy. Love is not a good enough reason; you can love a stuffed animal, but when it gets worn out you should throw it away. Does he treat you well? Does he challlenge you, make you a better person? Is he honest? Can you trust him? Does he have your best interest at heart? If you've answered no to one or more of these questions you should not be with him. On the flip side. You are the only one that can live your life. Don't allow others to make decisions for you. If you learn now how to take care of yourself and make the right decisions it will be a piece of cake when you get older.
|
my boyfriend whos not circumsized smells.. idk what to do
its like know matter what he does he always does
help what should I do?? (link)
| |
Tell him. I believe we can say whatever we want to people as long as it is diplomatic and constructive. If you have already discussed this and it is to the point where you're all tapped out. You have to make a decision. We all have shortcomings, maybe this is something you have to deal with or not deal with. Has he visited the doctors office lately? There are plenty of people who are uncircumcised and do not have this problem.
|
|
i have a problem. i cant let any guy in my life. i guess its that im afraid of relationships and my expectations are too high... help? (link)
| |
Fear is tricky. It is put in place to protect you from harm, yet it keeps you from growing. Fear is nothing more than False Evidence Appearing Real. Your fears of what will happen in your relationships aren't neccessarily true. The question is where did this fear come from? Have you been hurt before, or do you have messages about yourself that perpetuates this fear. For example, if you have a message about yourself that states, 'I deserve to get hurt by other people' I could see how staying away from relationships would protect you. However, that is nothing more than a false belief about yourself. You need to learn how to trust that people wont hurt you. It takes time to regain that trust back from society, but the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. You can do it!
|
|
Soo the other night i went out with some friends..and i met one of my friend's brother. He really didnt talk to me the whole night until after i left one of my friends texted me and said that her bro said i was real cute and he wanted to get to know me...soo he wanted my number. Well i gave to her and its been a couple of days and he hasnt called or texted me..i dont know if he either forgot or what..what should i do..and what do you think? (link)
| |
Do nothing. If he likes you, he'll call. IN the meantime, find something else to do. I know you might think...but what if he lost my number? Think about it, who loses something they really like?
|
i love it when this boy plays hard to get but when i can have him i dont want him AT ALL
why?! (link)
| |
When watching Tom and Jerry or Itchy and scratchy might be more up your ally, it is more exciting to watch the chase, which is why majority of the show is about them trying to one up the other. Even when one is caught, he quickly recovers. Right now you are more drawn to the chase, the adventure of pursuing him. Perhaps it is because he is unavailable
|
|
I've known my best friend for almost 4 years. He knows that I like him, and we've hooked up twice. The first time we planned on it, the second time he made a move and it just happened. The second time messed with my head a lot, because I wasn't sure if he made a move because he had feelings for me or if he was just horny and wanted some action (I came to find out it was because of the second). We've both acknowledged that it didn't mean anything, but it's made things weird between us. When we talk online we're normal, but when we're at work together we avoid each other and don't make eye contact. I don't want to see the friendship end because of this. I've asked him to hang out, but he hasn't been around much. I'm afraid, though, that if we hang out we'll end up hooking up again, and I'll be back where I started. I feel like I've been harassing him to hang out, but I'm pretty sure that the only way we'll feel comfortable around each other is if we hang out with each other again, but then like I said, there's always the chance of us hooking up again. It's a tough cycle to break. Is it wrong for me to keep asking him to hang out? I'm at a point where I really don't know what to do. Any advice? (link)
| |
Do you want to be with him in a relationship? You sound as though you are not sure, but are certain that you don't want to lose the friendship. If you are friends and you've been romantically involved, then what keeps you from being a couple? Are you not interested? What about him? You need to set some boundaries if you want to continue to hang out with him. Otherwise, you are right the cycle will continue. Hopefully, he has a conscience and if he does he is feeling guilty for taking advantage of you. Perhaps, this is why you haven't seen much of him lately.
|
|
This boy and i have been (well i guess i should say WERE) talking for about 2 months now. But here's the thing, he lives 2 hours away. Anyways, over the summer he came up to my house with my cousin and they slept over and we stayed up all night just tlaking and watching movies. All we did was make out. Later when he left back home, he called me and told me the reason he didn't do anything more with me is because he respects me. We usually talk every other night, and i have told him i don't think we should commit to anything because 2 hours is hard to work with and i think he would meet a girl at his school. i mean he's a boy, come on it's obvious. School started august 8 for him and i haven't talked to him since monday night. I might sound paranoid but i really like this guy. Do you guys think he met someone? (link)
| |
Met someone already girl? A tad bit paranoid. However, if he is in to you and you into him, make it work. Yes, 2 hours is a distance away, but that is all it is. A long distance relationship is very hard to maintain for the very reason you asked the question. This is where trust comes in. IF you are willing to only see him every once in a while, then I would go for it. But if you know that it will drive you crazy, then remain friends and try to acknowledge that he will meet somene else.
|
WARNING: LONGGG but please help
okay... well everytime i get a boyfriend... i cant date them for along time....and when i actually started dating this guy i really liked... i just felt soo weird.... [[becuase
1. hes like wayyy shorter than me... so tht makes me feel sorta like watched....]] oh and also... right after he kissed me.. i started feeling different.... i felt like i didnt like him that much at all...
so we broke up... and ten when he flirts with my friends i get toaally jelous...
so yeah... any advice why i only do "hook-ups" and not "relartionships" ?
all advice needed (link)
| |
It sounds like you want them and then when you get them you don't. YOu like the attention, but everything else scares you. Perhaps you are not ready to be in a relationship, but still long for attention from the opposite sex. The solution to that is make friends of the opposite sex, but make sure you set clear boundaries so that you're not making out with your friends. Take time to get to know yourself and understand what about a committment scares you.
|
|
ok so me and my boyfriend are a very happy couple of coarse we have fights but who doesnt in a healthy relationship? anyway sexually everything is great but i was wondering how to ask him to finger me more haha. For some reason this is embarrassing to ask even to a bunch of people i dont know. anyway ive asked a couple of times and his reply is not today. i aksed if he doesnt like doing it cuz if that was the case i wont force him to do something he doesnt want to do. his reply was why do it when you can just have sex. then he went on say ill do it just not today. Any advice on what i should do? (link)
|
You say that your sex life is great that means that you have an open relationship where things are discussed and considered. Here is a question to ask yourself. When the two of you are together is he giving and willing to please you or do you do most of the pleasing? Is there foreplay or does he just grab you and take you? His comment about why finger you when you could have sex sounds a little selfish. It is what you like and he shouldn't have a problem doing it for you. Sounds like he isn't willing to do something to you that he doesn't get pleasure out of. If that is the case, have him to look at you (all of you) while he is fingering you so he can see how much you enjoy it. Sex is all about the mind. This can get him excited fantasizing about using his penis and not his finger(s). What do you do for him?
I am not sure how old you are I hope this is not too mature for you.
|
im just curious how long should you wait before you get married. For some reason ive been thinking aout marriage alot lately with my boyfriend weve been going out for about six months and i already know hes the one. I cant explain it i guess you just know
20 f (link)
| |
you want to wait at least six months before deciding to get married. The engagement period should be at least six months as well. I would suggest getting pre-marital counseling. Getting married is a big step and you are so young, the counseling will help straighten the rough edges out. Have you talked about finances, children, religion, expectations? There are a lot of issues to discuss when making this step. Good luck!
|
okay soo i am going out with this guy named casey and we really like eachother but i mean it is going really slow, we have been together all summer. only kissed once, not madeout. and I had to kiss him (im a girl by the way =P). and this guy named tyler that i liked pretty much the whole 2nd semester last year told me has liked me for like 5 months. i don't really get to see him much since its the summer, but when school starts..ill want him SO BAD. we had a great connection, and we can talk about anything and be ourselves and he is soo cute and sweet. the guy im going out with now..i mean he is my best friend and has been for a year but he isn't that experienced in relationships. so i don't know. i just recently hurt him by making out with another guy but we weren't going out then, we were just friends with benefits. but that was a total mistake and that's history, we are over it now. but i'm just scared ill want tyler and i might hurt him. he is a sensitive guy..i'm scared to break up with him. like he has already cried over me a few times from what i did last time. i don't want to be known for hurting him but i KNOW i will want to go out with tyler when school starts.
what do i do?!
thanks in advance! (link)
| |
It sounds like if you stay, you will hurt him and if you go you will hurt him. The best thing to do is do what is best for yourself. You can't stay in a relationship just so you won't hurt the person. The both of you deserve better than that. You need to set some boundaries so that you are not crossing the line with your friend and I am just assuming the two of you will remain friends if you decided to break it off with him. Ask yourself this...was it better when the two of you were friends or now? It doesn't sound like the boyfriend/girlfriend thing is working out for the two of you.
|
girls are so complicated cuz when i try to do somethin they always complain and whenever they are sick ill talk to them all night but they say i didnt talk long enough? and whenever they misss me i do whatever i can to get to them but they say i didnt try hard enough even though i got there and i even brought flowers a chocalate? sometimes i dont get girls or should i say some girls?
what should i do? (link)
| |
You have different types of girls. for some reason guys like those types of girls. however, there are girls who can appreciate you efforts as long as they are genuine.
|
|