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makeout & not going all the way
15/f.
I have never made out. I know its sad, im old! :P But whenever I just peck a guy he tries to stick his damn toungue in my mouth. And I back away like noo! I would love to just go and makeout with the world, but I am worried I will make a complete fool of myself and then like the guys will be like wow what a loser haha. I know it comes natural, but when I'm about to makeout with someone I just get all weirded out and freaked, even with a guy I am seriously attracted to! It makes me sad when I can't just go out and have fun and kiss the cute guy I'm hanging with haha! Plus I want to actually have a boyfriend, and when guys ask me out I turn them out, because its weird to date someone without making out or doing anything. My last boyfriend all we did was hug and peck haha. What would help me not be so nervous and just do it already?! Also, after I get the hang of that, say I'm in a relationship..well I am NOT giving it up to some guy I'm dating, thats for marriage. But will the guy like leave me if the only thing we do it makeout, like not even bj or hj or any of that stuff? I would think most guys would at least want more than kissing.. :/
Thanks so much sorry its long I appreciate everyones answers and for reading all this!
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Sweetie,
You don't sound ready to make out with anybody and fifteen is not by all means old. It sounds like you feel pressured to start making out becuase everyone else is. Preserve yourself for as long as you want to. If you feel like that is all the guy wants from you is to make out, then your right to say no. However, if this is just fear of failing, you have to get over that. Making out will come natural. If all else fails, let him take the lead. Just know that making out leads to sex and if you are not ready for that and want to wait for marriage, you might want to be careful.
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its totaly normal for you to be scared. everyone is before they do it. look kissing is easy if your scared that your going to make a fool out of yourself when your kissing maybe you should try telling that guy that you havent ever kissed someone. dont worry about all the other stuff yea guys like it but thats life :) if your not ready your not ready! if they dont like it kick there ass to the street! i promis that when your with someone you trust and someone you really care about all that other stuff with just happen.
try not to think about it so much your freakin yourself out just let things happen once you makeout with a guy your really doing to look backa nd relize its not as scary as you thouhgt!
p.s just have fun your 15 its not like not hooking up with a guys is going to kill you. but i wouldnt say no to a guy just because you dont wanna makeout with him and not ever guy is that into hooking up you just have to look for the right one but your never going to know unless you try something new!
hope everything works out :)
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I love how you try to kiss a guy and they lead with the tongue and you think youre making a fool of _yourself_
Half of your problem is the guys. Its kind of intimidating to be assaulted tongue first by a guy, especially if youre under the delusion that theyre so much better than you are. If you could get a guy to just let you kiss them it would probably work out better for you, but guys at that age are hardwired to go in for as much as they can get as quickly as possible.
As to the future of your relationships.
Premarital sex does not have the public stigma associated with it that it used to. Sex before marriage is both common and normal these days. So most of the guys you meet are not going to want to wait until marriage.
On that note, I dont know exactly what to tell you. Perhaps if you are religious and you dated some guys who are into your religion? Though, at 15 if you want to wait no one should have a problem with it, its not until later that it becomes a bit more...well I guess expected would be the right word. You'll have a harder time in college, in high school theyre willing to go on the hope that you might change your mind.
A word on sex in relationships today.
If you want to wait until marriage, there is nothing wrong with that. If that is how you feel you want your sex life to be, if thats what feels right to you, then that is what is right FOR you. Remember that you can always turn a no into a yes later.
The above being said, it will make you incompatible with some people. In the modern world, the same as you want to wait until marriage, there are those out there who definitely dont.
Lets say you know Bob.
Bob likes you as a friend and finds you attractive, but bob has been sexually active from a young age. Bob is going to look for someone who doesnt have any problems with sex because he is a sexual man and wants a woman to whom sex and sexuality are equally a part of who she is. Bob would not be a good date for you, because sex is something that he has different standards.
This doesnt mean bob or you are wrong, or either of you are a bad person, it simply means that you want different things out of a relationship, have different priorities, and you should not date each other because you both need to find those who share your priorities.
Watch out for the Bobs of this world. They arent bad people by any stretch, but in this day and age you will find alot more people who are used to being able to be sexual even from a young age. If that is not you, then dont feel pressured to do things because someone else expects you to.
Also realize that if you get yourself into a relationship with someone who wants things you dont want they will eventually look outside of you to get them, so its not a great idea to end up with someone you are perpetually telling them they have to wait.
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Well usually when we're ready to kiss someone, people ARE nervous even though people say they aren't that's a lie. Theres not a thing you can do about that, you just have to settle for it, after you do it a couple times you'll get used to it, and those butterflies go away trust me. And sweetheart if a guy says he will leave you or leaves you just because you wouldn't give it up, he doesn't like you, he's just looking for a piece of a__.
If he doesn't respect you for what you stand for, then he's not worth your time. Don't EVER waste time on a guy like that. Always have respect for yourself, and let that be known. And if a guy says he'll respect you, and says he can wait, then that IS the type of guy ANY girl should go for. Some girls give in to pressure because that is the guy they like but just stand up for yourself, let him know you have respect for yourself.
Yes, MOST guys are like that, but not all. Theres some out there, it just takes time to find one. And if a guy tries to push you into more than kissing, let him know. But sometimes, some guys when you're kissing, they don't know how to push the brakes. So before you kiss a guy let him know where you stand, and see how he reacts and if he blows you off because of it, thats his issue. "You always want what you can't have". You'll feel better, at least you know you've saved yourself from heartbreak, and any thing you'll regret. You want a guy to get to know YOU NOT your body.
If you're making out, stop before you get all hot and heavy. Try this technique: Make an excuse, ex: "I have to go to the bathroom or " Sorry, but I have to meet a friend and I promised her, I would meet her" Or if you have a cell, have your friend call you. See if that helps.
Plus, you're a good role model for the girls your age out there. People are having sex younger and younger these days. And one person, you is a start of a diffrence. Also, think of this,girld who leave themselves open for any guy, guys actually think its sleazy. EVEN if they're the ones who ask for it. Guys look for a girl to hook-up with and see whos the easy target. But thats not the type of girl a guy would like to take home to meet his mommy. Or someone they would date. So you're a good example of a girl a guy WOULD like to date. Not someone who's easy.
Sorry so long, and take care!
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Well, there are guys like that, who think that if you're gonna makeout with him, you can do more. Let the guy know that you aren't ready for anything like that yet, if he's a good guy he'll understand, if he gets mad and breaks up with you, you can do better than him. I have a friend who didn't kiss or anything, she just hugged...and she's been with this guy for a while now and she gave him her first kiss...he isnt a virgin, but he loves her and he is willing to wait...thats what it means to be in a relationship.
You've got to tell them what you want, what you don't want...and if you're with the right guy, don't worry about the kiss or the sex....it will come to you perfectly.
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dont worry i was scared too, and im still kinda scared. i just recently turned 16 and i only made out with 3 guys! this is what i did that helped me. i knew this guy that i had absolutly no feelings for but i knew he kinda like me so i pretended like i did and we started kissing slowly ( which is good so you can kinda remember how to do it ) and then thats basically it. youll probably do fine. just dont think about omg what should i do next. follow his lead. and about the other thing. yes, most guys want more when there in a relationship but if they respect you and like you enough then they should stick around till your ready. i know its sad but guys can be jerks like that and just leave the girl if she wont put out. hope this helped.
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