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Fine line..hookups with my best friend
I've known my best friend for almost 4 years. He knows that I like him, and we've hooked up twice. The first time we planned on it, the second time he made a move and it just happened. The second time messed with my head a lot, because I wasn't sure if he made a move because he had feelings for me or if he was just horny and wanted some action (I came to find out it was because of the second). We've both acknowledged that it didn't mean anything, but it's made things weird between us. When we talk online we're normal, but when we're at work together we avoid each other and don't make eye contact. I don't want to see the friendship end because of this. I've asked him to hang out, but he hasn't been around much. I'm afraid, though, that if we hang out we'll end up hooking up again, and I'll be back where I started. I feel like I've been harassing him to hang out, but I'm pretty sure that the only way we'll feel comfortable around each other is if we hang out with each other again, but then like I said, there's always the chance of us hooking up again. It's a tough cycle to break. Is it wrong for me to keep asking him to hang out? I'm at a point where I really don't know what to do. Any advice?
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in my own opinion, i say that maybe you should end the friendship as well. because it seems like there is a "friend with benefits" thing going on and thats not such a great type of friendship to have with someone. unless you can talk to him and explain to him specicfily that you only want a friendship, then you could try it. i really i hope i helped :]
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Do you want to be with him in a relationship? You sound as though you are not sure, but are certain that you don't want to lose the friendship. If you are friends and you've been romantically involved, then what keeps you from being a couple? Are you not interested? What about him? You need to set some boundaries if you want to continue to hang out with him. Otherwise, you are right the cycle will continue. Hopefully, he has a conscience and if he does he is feeling guilty for taking advantage of you. Perhaps, this is why you haven't seen much of him lately.
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This is really a tough situation to be in, I myself have been in similar.
The best thing to do, more often then not, seems like the worst.
I don't think that it is wrong for you to keep asking him to hang out, it will only keep reminding him. He may even come to realize whats wrong on his own time.
My answer to you is, give him some alone time, which I know, your thinking "he's avoiding me, he's been alone!" but YOU avoid him and don't say anything either. Then after some time, either sit down, write hima letter or even an e-mail and explain whats going on in your head and why YOU have been avoiding him. And then end it by asking him to hang out. So in the end he sees what is going on, how you feel, and what you want. He gets all three things in one letter and he has had some time away without you everyday asking to hang out. Sometimes guys have their times where they get finiky and claustrophobic and think we smother them.
I hope I have helped. Let me know!
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