Hello, my name is Sam. There's a lot that I can say about myself, but if you'd like that then you could always message me and we can have a nice cup of tea together :D
I am not very old, so I might not have too much life experience, but I do like to help people. I know that life often throws unexpected blows at people, but I am so extremely optimistic. Hopefully some of my optimism will rub off on the people to whom I am giving advice. I am happy to help with anything! :)
Gender: Female
Location: California
Age: 17
Member Since: February 24, 2007
Answers: 477
Last Update: October 17, 2011
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13/m Sometimes my mom touches me down there on my thing. She has for years now and never says anything about it. We were talking in sex ed and I realize this is like sexual abuse and is bad. Who do I contact about this so she stops? Just like local police or what? I don't want to ask in class. It's embarrassing. Is there like sex abuse hotline or 1-800 number I call? (link)
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Hello.
Wow, you are right, this is terrible! You need to tell the police as soon as possible. Child services will help you get out of this situation. The number you need to call is 911. :/ Please call and explain what's been happening. It's for your own good.
Take care.
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for some reason i'm having trouble holding my pee in and sometimes i just end up peeing my pants. and i'm 20/f. could this be symptomatic of something else? (link)
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Hello.
You might have an issue with your bladder. My mom had the same symptom and she ended up needing surgery because her bladder had fallen out of place. I think in her case it had something to do with childbirth, but I feel like that wouldn't be the case at your age. Either way you should definitely see your doctor and get this checked out. You can also run a google search and try to self-diagnose, but a doctor is your best bet.
Take care.
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I read in Cosmo awhile back that guys like to "chase" after girls and that if you let them think you're easy and will always be around then they're more likely to cheat or not care as much about you. My boyfriend is a pretty good guy and I don't think he'd cheat on me but I don't want to risk it. We talk like every 2 days and I see him at least 3 times a week at school. We don't really go on dates too often but like once every 2 weeks maybe we'll go to a movie or get pizza together. Should I ignore him for awhile to keep him after me? HOw long is a good time range so he still desires me? (link)
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Hello.
OY! Mind games are very very dangerous. I mean, this is your boyfriend we're talking about here, and ignoring him is likely to result in hurting him. :( How would you feel if your boyfriend suddenly stopped talking to you or wanting to hang out with you?
I'm sure that what Cosmo was trying to get at is that one should not be "clingy." Don't call your boyfriend every second of every day and don't make him the center of your life. But other than that you really don't have to go out of your way to avoid him. He's a nice guy like you said and I actually think that playing mind games will increase the chances that he would cheat on you or break up with you. He likes you for who you are, so please don't change your behavior now.
And actually, I think that you see your boyfriend less than most school-age couples do, which is good and very unclingy :). Just keep balancing school, friends, and your boyfriend, and everything should be fine.
Take care.
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I really like this guy we are going to the mall tomorrow as a GRoup I really wanna ask him out but idk how or what to say.I know this seems pathetic but i have never aqsked a guy help.Any advice?
THNX IN ADVANCE
TINK2359 (link)
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Hello.
NOOOO this is not pathetic! It's adorable :).
Okay so you're going to the mall. I assume at least one of your friends that you are going with knows that you like him? Maybe you could tell her to help you set up some kind of thing to get the two of you alone. Like maybe she could say she'll be right back and leave you two alone. I suppose you would also have to get rid of the rest of the group O.o...hmm well I suppose you could also just tell him that you want to tell him something/ask him something privately.
Once you get him alone you can ask him out. Are you asking him to be your boyfriend or to go out on a date?
Well either way, you could say something like
"So, I want to tell you something. Well I like you and I was wondering if you want to hang out sometime."
The exact words don't matter as much as getting the point across. Nervousness is cute and I'm sure he'll think so as well :).
PS: I'm wondering if you have any idea as to his feelings for you? It might be helpful to know this just so that you aren't disappointed. But if you don't know and still want to ask him out then that's fine! More girls should be bold and say how they feel! It's very admirable what you are planning on doing :).
Good luck and take care.
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F/16 I have this amazing boyfriend who I've been dating for 2 weeks. I like him, but only when I'm with him. I partially think it's because I'm still hung up on my ex. All I can think about is my ex, and how I want to be with him. Just a few months ago I was with my ex, until some things happened that screwed us up. Now I'm dating this other kid, and he's my first boyfriend since my ex 2 years ago.
I do like my current boyfriend, but when I'm with him and we're alone things are sexual and I don't like that. Whenever I see him in school all I can think about is wanting to be with my ex instead of him. He's such a nice guy, and I do like him, it's just I know I would rather be with my ex and that's all that would make me happy. I sometimes feel if I could just get my ex to actually reject me then I would be able to put my feelings aside and would realize how good I have it now.
I don't want to lose my boyfriend, but I just feel like it's the wrong thing to stay with him while I have such strong feelings for someone else. He knows about my ex, and how I used to feel, I don't know if he's aware I never lost those feelings, but..he knows about him. So it's not like my feelings are a complete secret.
I just don't know what I should do, should I stay with my boyfriend? Try to get back with my ex? Talk to my ex and realize he doesn't want me? Just back off from boys all together until i figure things out? Idk, I just need some sort of help. (link)
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Hello.
The fact that you do love your ex and merely like your current boyfriend is a problem. I think that you should think about why you and your ex broke up and rationalize whether or not that would be a problem again if you got back together. If it wouldn't be, then I think you should tell your ex how you still feel about him. I'd hate to advocate for you to talk to your ex behind you current boyfriend's back, but as long as you don't physically "cheat" on your boyfriend, then I think you aren't really doing anything wrong. It could also be argued that you are emotionally "cheating" on him right now, so I think that clearing up your feelings about your ex is the way to go.
If your ex still loves you as well, and the possibility of getting back together with him becomes available, then I would think that's exactly what you would do. Provided that you let your current boyfriend down gently and perhaps are honest with him about the situation, then I think you will be much happier being with the guy you actually love.
IF your boyfriend says he has no feelings or for some reason you realize that it isn't a good idea to pursue that previous relationship, then you're still left with a boyfriend that you aren't too crazy about. The thing about the relationship being too "sexual" and you not liking him when you are away from him leads me to think that your relationship is almost entirely physical. I've been in the exact same type of relationship, and though it isn't bad, it also isn't very great.
Regardless of your feelings for your ex, there are tons of great guys that have the potential to gain your love in the future. So why settle for a boyfriend who is mediocre at best? Relationships are supposed to be fun and happy. Also, it's perfectly possible that your current boyfriend IS crazy about you, so by staying with him you are just stringing along his feelings. Ultimately, I feel that the two of you will break up, so why not end it sooner rather than later?
Don't stay in a relationship that doesn't make you completely happy. If your ex doesn't reciprocate your feelings, then please try to break off this new relationship and wait for a better match to come along.
I wish you all the best!
Take care.
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does toothpaste really work??? I have 2 GIANT pinples on my face and i need them 2 go away fast. i spent all day trying 2 hide the pimples with my jacket. i cant spend another day like that. How long do i need 2 put the tooth paste on for????????? (link)
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Hello.
Yes it definitely does work. Whenever I have a pimple I put toothpaste on it overnight and wash it off in the morning. I think it's the mint in the toothpaste that dries the pimple up. Or maybe it's the fluoride? I have no idea, but it works! :)
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A few friends and I are going to be s'mores for halloween. I have to be the marshmallow (cuz I'm the white one) How can I make a marshmallow costume? I'm like 5'5 and 125 lbs., so it can't be too small. thanks! 16/f (link)
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Hello.
Okay so you could get a box and cut holes for your arms legs and head. Then surround the box with white fabric (felt would work less because it's super soft).
You could also do the same thing with a pillow instead of with a box. I would think it would be a lot more comfortable to sit in haha.
Good luck! :)
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My aunts on my dad's side are all big women. Thats OK I don't got anything against them and i love them. But they are BIG ladies. And they all had like premmie babies every time they had a baby. My mom said that if they lost weight they'd not have premies. Why is that? Does the fat get in the way or something or maybe my mom is wrong or what? (link)
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Hello.
I would think that it has something to do with the baby being at risk for premature diabetes. Don't quote me or anything, it's just a thought.
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sorry if this is long.
14/f
ive been dating this boy for 2 months now,we get on great, but the physical stuff seems to be all thats happening yeah we talk all the time but idk... hes not physically attractive although i find my self confortable around him.
my friends hate him and well im not sure what to do. i like the physical stuff but later on i dont want to do something i will regret
(hes only fingered me) (link)
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Hello.
I do think you should break up with him.
You don't find him physically attractive. This in itself is a problem. In fact, based on what you said about him, it seems as though you do not really like him romantically at all!
If he DOES like you romantically, then you are leading him on. If he does not, then you are still giving yourself less than you deserve. If you're going to date someone, it may as well be someone that you truly like.
Also, if your friends don't like him, then that is a huge warning sign. Friends look out for your best interest, thus, this guy is not in your best interest.
I'm sure that you could wait and find someone who you truly connect to and actually have feelings for. Believe me that it will be a much happier relationship. I also think that you should be in no rush to get "physical," especially not with someone you hardly care about. "Physical" things are supposed to be special, and given your young age, I'm sure you WILL regret it later on if you don't wait for the right time and right person. I'm 17, and even I think that I'm not ready to get "physical" with just anyone. It has nothing to do with being a prude, but everything to do with having a meaningful relationship with someone. SO, my advice is that you shouldn't rush into things that you aren't ready for. Protect your innocence for as long as you can. I don't mean to sound like a mom by saying all of this, so I hope you don't take it that way.
Take care
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I'm 18/f and I'm a rather closed in person. I figured since I was shy I'd give online dating a try. So then I started talking to someone and for lack of a better term, I completely lost my sanity. I think about him all the time and whenever I do I'm smiling and giddy. We did happen to get into some... harmless fun... over video chat but there was no exposure of any kind. But, how do I know he's not just leading up to it and then as soon as he gets what he wants he'll just stop talking to me altogether? He acts sweet and always listens, but am I just that gullible, or is this turning into something?
-Chix (link)
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Hello.
I don't think you are gullible. You have a crush, totally normal! :)
I would recommend taking it slow with this guy, and really, all guys. If you have too much fun too soon, then yes, it's possible that a guy could simply use you. But if you allow time for the two of you to get to know eachother, go on dates, and fall for a guy slowly overtime, then chances are, he will be falling for you as well. Most "players" will give up quickly. It's the good guys that stick around for the long term.
Try to keep the paranoia in check, and realize that, if this guy does ever hurt you, then it is all the better because you can move on to a better guy.
Try to remain optimistic! Good luck and take care!
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yeah i see where your coming from but i kinda feel both ways about it like i feel he does have a right but then again he doesnt he changed his number he wont even talk to anyone that has anything to do with me like he wont even talk to his brother in law and if he really loved me i have no idea he wanted me to run away with him i just couldnt take off and leave my mom behind he said he wanted it to just be me and him so we could start our own family now i stop to think what if i did would he be with me or would he have left me there by myself see they are the things that make me want to just say fuck him and do it all myself but then i know everyone needs a father and a mother and i saw how he was with his nieces and nephew its just alot (link)
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Hello.
Well I think that you should try to not think of the past because it will just make you more upset. Also, I think you made the right choice by not abandoning your family. Honestly, you should ask yourself whether a man who tries to get you to leave your family behind is good enough for you. You should aspire to be with someone who brings joy into your life, not someone who wants to be the only person in your life.
It's true to that children benefit from having both a mom and a dad, but in special situations like this there are exceptions. You don't want to bring a child into this world with parents that have an unstable relationship. You don't have to tell your ex about the baby if you don't want to, but personally I think I would.
Take care.
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sorry about sending the same one two times i was trying to send this one but if i am preganat should i tell the guy he left me and he mobed to alamaba with his family then he just stoppped talking to me and wants nothing to do with me now hes in new york city with someone else but i dont want him to want me for all the wrong reasons (link)
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Hello.
I think that you should let him know. He is the father of the child and he has a right to know about his child's existence. But if he tries to get back together with you right after you tell him about the child, then you should kindly say no. He seems to have moved on, so to force a relationship now would not be a good idea. Neither of you will benefit from that. If anything you would both get hurt.
Take care.
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hi i had sex with a guy i was dating like two or three months ago and i was taking the pill but the day after i ran out and then im just now like a week ago getting back on it but im always tired i get the hickups all the time i fee weak i feel sick i was eating dinner with my mom it was this stuff i use to like and as soon as i smelled it it made my belly turn and i hjust couldnt eat but i took a test a week after we had sex could it be the pill doing that to me ? i hada miscarriage before when i1st started taking the pill but i didnt know i was pregnant until it was too lated and im getting sharp pains that start at my belly button and it shoots all the way down my vag i have no idea what it is but i had the pain before but i was also on the pill before when i got the pain to so idk if im pregnant the test said i wasnt so i didnt stop taking the pill and i dont want to talk to my mom about it she would get mad that im on the pill she got mad when she found out my 35 year old sister was on it she doesnt like it cause what can happen when you on it and she also got pregnant with my brother on it so please help thanks alot
megan
(link)
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Hello.
If I were you I would take another pregnancy test. I mean, you took a pregnancy test, but you took it really soon. At this point the results would be more reliable. You don't need to tell your mother yet, but taking the test would definitely give you your answer. Based on the symptoms that you have been having, it certainly is possible that you are pregnant. Please take another test and, if you are pregnant, please tell your mother. Even if she gets upset, you will really need her support through this.
Good luck and take care.
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My period came twice last month and it didnt come this month, why could this be happening? Is it normal? Oh and im 17f (link)
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Hello.
Periods are sometimes irregular. I wouldn't really be concerned unless you have reason to be (i.e. possible pregnancy). But even if you were pregnant I don't see why that would cause two periods in one month. If anything this is just weird, but not abnormal.
Take care.
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I have dated this guy named, Carter for a year a couple years ago. Well we broke up and ever since then we have kinda "talked" and dated other people but my feelings for him have not changed. I have very strong feelings for him.
okay, so the next guy i dated last year, nicholas, i dated him for 9 and half months and we decided to break up for personal reasons. Well now they both want to be with me, & I have no clue who to choose! I have thought and thought and thought about it! I just don't know how to choose! pleaseeeeee help!! (link)
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Hello.
I think that the most important things to consider here are the reasons why you broke up with each guy. Think about who you are actually more compatible with. Ultimately, who is the better catch? Who can you talk to about anything? Who do you feel more close to? Who is nicer both to you and to other people? Who is going to affect your life in a positive way? This decision is somewhat final so make sure you really think about it. I don't know if they each know about eachother but another option would be to go on a date with each one and see who you "click" with more.
I hope you make the best choice.
Good luck and take care
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I'm 17 yrs a guy. Lately this year my friends ditch me for one another or talk as if I don't exist, I've been trying to get a girls attention by being really nice to her, she keeps flaking on me then I introduced my friend to her and 2 days later their hanging out already, people don't give me respect I give them. I said to some other friends that we should throw a group date together and they said no, then I find out they planned one with out me the next week, also alot of friends left me at my school and went to a new one so I have hardly anyone to talk to. I've been depressed for about a month now to where it and stress are giving me headaches and makin me dizzy. I don't know where to turn to could you help me out please? Sorry for the long statement.
-Thank you (link)
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Hello.
I'm sorry about all of this :/. But honestly you need to stay away from these people. I know it hurts to admit this to yourself, but these people DO NOT care about you. Instead of spending your time trying to figure out why they are acting so rude or how to fix the situation, you should find new friends. I know that finding friends in the middle of high school is difficult to do because I've had to do it, but it is rewarding. The best idea I can think of for finding new friends is for you to join some clubs that you are interested in or to try out for some sport/team. Or maybe you already have some cool acquaintances in some of your classes. Try to be outgoing and ask some people that you know if they want to hang out sometime.
As for the girl that you like, I'm not sure if you could "win her back" so to speak. Do you know if she likes you? The most direct way would be to just ask her out on a date. If she says no, then I think that you should attempt to forget about her as well.
Like I said, I'm really sorry that all of this is happening to you. Sometimes high school really sucks, but just remember that this is just one rough patch in your life. When I was in 9th and in 10th grade I had a really lousy time but then my life turned around. I'm sure that you find some nice people in no time. Don't lose hope. Do your best to be optimistic and act happy even if you don't feel it. People like being around happy people. And don't feel badly that your old friends have treated you so horribly. They really don't deserve to even talk to you. That kind of behavior is inexcusable. Take care of yourself! And also, being somewhat friendless is sometimes a good thing because it allows you to focus your energy on you schoolwork (probably not what you want to hear, but don't neglect school.)
Take care and all the best.
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I got a shirt at XXI & I washed it before I ever wore it anywhere. Problem is... it shrank, mostly length wise. Is there any way to UN-shrink a shirt, or a way to stretch it out?
Thanks in advance. (link)
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Hello.
If you wet the entire shirt and then stretch it with your hands and leave it to air-dry then it should get a little bigger. In the future you probably should avoid putting it in the dryer. Just hang it after you wash it. Some dryers also have "no heat" settings that would keep the shirt from shrinking. Also, if the shirt is cotton or wool then it will ALWAYS shrink in the dryer.
I hope this works!
Take care.
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i have a class with this super cute guy. my friends kniw him but i dont. i dont know how to talk to him at all! hes a complete stanger! my friend wanted to ask him if he knew me but i feltit would be werid. how do i talk to him? (link)
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Hello.
Do your friends hang out with him at all? Because if so, they could organize a group outing and invite him and then you could go too. Then you could say "hey you're in my ___ class." Then after that you could say hi to him in class and in the hallways.
I suppose you could also take advantage of a group project and try to be in a group with him, but I feel like this would be trickier to pull off.
Or the last approach I can think of is having your friend directly tell him that she knows a girl who finds him attractive. This would be kind of bold, but then again it would also get you noticed quickly!
I hope one of these approaches works for you! :)
Take care
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I always heard that tall people have bigger feet than short people. Is that true? I wouldn't think feet size would be in correlation to height but yeah. (link)
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Hello.
Well actually that is generally true. Generally, taller people have bigger heads, longer arms, longer hands, longer feet, and so forth. The opposite is true for shorter people. Our bodies are strangely proportionate! But there are of course many people who deviate from this generality and that is when people tend to say "wow you have big feet!" because I suppose large feet are more noticeable on short people.
Take care
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I'm a slightly overweight biological female with a square face, and I cannot stand my long hair. I want a short haircut, preferably an androgynous one, but I don't know anything about what haircuts look good. My hair is quite wavy and thus doesn't behave well in really organised cuts, and I hate hair gel. Any advice? (link)
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Hello!
I adore androgynous haircuts. Sometimes the transition from very long hair to a SUPER short cut can become awkward and difficult to get used to, so I suggest that you get a short-medium haircut. This will avoid any tears.
http://www.mynewhair.info/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/katherine-moennig-short-textured-hair.jpg
You should definitely check out some haircuts a la punk style because they tend to be on the edgy/androgynous side. Also, think of those boys with semi-long shaggy hair. The untamed look will go well with you "misbehaving" waves :). I also have short, wavy hair and I find that it is best to avoid straight cut hair. Layers, fringe, and purposely messy hair will be your friends. Try to pick out some online styles and/or go to a hair salon and ask to see a catalog. If you talk to to the hairdresser about your hair type and ask what he recommends, then I am sure he would not steer you wrong. Also, I find that pricier haircuts usually equate with better haircuts. And sometimes it is definitely worth the extra money :).
Good luck and take care
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