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What's the next best thing to a magical potion that cures all your problems? A firari! But, since we can't give you either of those, we're offering you the best advice on the web. When the going get's rough, you gotta keep tough and since that seems to be quite an issue these days (and since we've got enough toughness to go around), icy is the best place for advice!
Disclaimer: If you get stuffed in a trashcan, turned pink, or abducted by aliens, please don't blame us. We only give you advice, we don't force you to actually use it!
PLEASE DO NOT ASK ME WHERE I GOT MY 'CELLPHONE PIC'. I MADE IT MYSELF IN A PROGRAM CALLED PAINT SHOP PRO AND NO, I WILL NOT MAKE ONE FOR YOU. I'M SORRY BUT I'M REALLY BUSY. PLEASE VISIT SURFSUNSANDX33 AND AMERICANGIRL101'S ADVICE COLUMNS. THEY BOTH GIVE REALLY GOOD ADVICE AND ARE MY FRIENDS. PEACE DUDES!
advice
i went with this kid and i broke up with him cuz it wasnt working but now he got a new g.f. and im so sad i dunno wut to do i wunt him back..help wu should i say to him wut should i do?
First of all, make sure you really want him back. Sometimes seeing an ex with a new love can make you have the impulse to want him back. My advice is to make sure these feelings are real and not triggered by the fact that he has moved on. Talk to him about it and ask him if he would ever consider getting back with you but only do this if you think this is all real. Make sure you don't give him anything or do anything just to win him back because there's a reason it wasn't working out before. Don't try to push something to happen that really can't. Good luck and hopefully if it doesn't work out with him, there will be someone else. If you ever need any other advice, feel free to ask me a question directly at my column because iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENiNG
Okay i have this friend and her name is andrea. we are like best friends but now i dont think so...we tell each other everything but she never sits by me at school. she is having a great time with her other friends and she tells me all there jokes...she never really talks to me anymore. she told me i cant be in there lil group anymore! so are we still best friends or not? or should i stop being her friend? HELP please!
She deffinetly does not sound like a best friend. Since she has her little "clique", if I were you, I wouldn't hang out with her. She sounds very stuck up and mean and I bet you deserve better. You should find some new friends who don't shun you like she does. Even though you tell eachother everything, you can tell everything to the guy that sits across from you in math, that doesn't mean he's your best friend. There are plenty of nice people at your school I bet who would love to have you as a friend. Andrea is obviously not nice otherwise she would let you join her little group. Good luck hun and if you ever need any more advice, feel free to ask me a question directly at my column. iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENiNG
I thought that my now ex-boyfriend didn't like me any more so i broke up with him but I still really liked him. Then I went to a party and he was there and we really didn't talk to eachother untill they played the first slow song and he came up and just grabbed my hand and pulled me to the dance floor and we started slow dancing. Then when that song was over i was just like okay... but then they played Alicia Keys "if i aint got u" and so we kept dancing and he looked me in the eyes and was like i still love you and i was like i love you too... and then everyone started counting down for the new year and before it was 12:00 he kissed me and was like "last kiss of 2004" and then when it turned 12:00 he kissed me and was like "and first kiss of 2005" and i felt like it was my first kiss all over again. But later when i talked to him he was like I think we should wait a while before we go back out because I always just come back to you... but the thing is that i really really love him and i want to get him back now... what should i do to show him how much i love him and for him to ask me back out... should i just ask him out? before i broke up with him we had been dating for 5 months... i don't know what to do I'm so confused
Sounds like you have found prince charming and you're his princess. That sounds like a magical night and if I were you, I wouldn't throw that all away. Since you were the one that broke up with him, you should be the one to make the move. Tell him you want to restart up the relationship again because you really love him. He was probobly upset when you ended the relationship but it really sounds like it's meant to be. Communication is the key to love. Talk to him about your feelings, why you ended things, why you want to get back together and what plans you have for the future. I wish you the best of luck and if you ever need any more advice, feel free to ask me a question directly at my column. iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENiNG
A couple weeks ago, I had a dream that my guy friend kissed me. I woke up not wanting it to stop and I was really mad that it was just a dream. I started to think that maybe I had feelings for him just a bit and when I saw him a few days after that I was acting all weird and shy. I dunno what I should do. I'm too scared to talk to him!
xxx Keely
It deffinetly sounds like you have a crush on your guy friend. Maybe you should talk to him and ask him if he ever thought the two of you would make a good couple or if there would ever be and "us". Communication is really the best way to solve problems. Just like you communicated with advicegivers, you should communicate with him about your feelings, hopes, and worries. That's what friends are for! I hope it all works out for you and if you ever need any advice, feel free to ask me a question directly at my column. iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENiNG
how do i create a budget and stick to it, so that i can save up money and get the things that i want?
That's a good question since so many people these days are having trouble putting away money. The first step is to know how much you make and what you do with that money. Let's say you have an incoming salary of $10 a week (this is just an example here) and you go to the movies every Friday which costs you $3 and you buy popcorn and a soda which costs you $2. Now I'm not trying to give you a math problem here but it looks like you need $5 spending money. That is your budget. You may see a cute lipgloss (if you're a girl) or a pack of cards (if you're a guy) and want to spend the other $5. Well, that would ruin your budget because you should be allowing half of your earnings as spending money and then saving the other half for better things. Sometimes it's hard to keep this in mind so, as corny as this sounds, make a "collage" of all the things you want to buy when you've saved up enough and hang it somewhere where you will see it often enough to keep you motivated to save. If you need any other advice, feel free to ask me a question directly at my column. iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENiNG!
Dear advice giver people,
I have this friend who has just gotten out of a relationship like 4 or 5 months ago. She broke up with the guy so that's all good. Ok, so then I liked this dude Billy right? Ok, well she decides that he's a sweetheart & goes for him. Well, that doesnt bother me because I have a boyfriend & I stopped liking Billy like forever ago. Me & Billy are still like close friends though & he was telling me how he was going to ask Jessica out & all. So being the girlfriend I am, I told Jess EVERYTHING he said. Now she will NOT stop talking about him. I'm serious. We could be watching TV & she's like, I miss Billy. Ok, well, then I mention my boyfriend like maybe 3 times that whole day. Ok, then she was talking to one of my other friends and she like, "She talks about *Joe WAY too much." Ok, Im sittin there like WHAT THE HELL you kno. So I dont know WHAT to do.
Sorry it's forever long!!
We've all been in love, that tingly wonderful sensation we get when we're around a certain person. Well, your friend has taken it to the limit and it's natural for you to get bugged by it, especially since she is completely contradicting herself when she says someone else is talking about their boyfriend way too much. Here's what you do: try bringing up your boyfriend frequently during a day the two of you are hanging out. Make sure it's during different times she's talking about Billy. After you do this, see if she starts to complain. If she does, then tell her that she is doing the same thing and you would like it if she could take it down a notch and not talk about him so much. Tell her that it's hard for you since you used to like him. This may be a total lie but friends like it when it seems like they have the upper hand and it may make her want to stop since it's flattery towards her. If she's not annoyed by you talking about him then confront her in a different way. This time approach your friend the next time she says someone else talks about their boyfriend way too much. That's when you can say, "hey, you do it alot too" and wait for her response. Good luck and if you ever need any more advice, feel free to ask me a question directly at my column. iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENiNG!
I Have this friend who is always putting themselves down and somethimes i dont know what to say becuase they arent the most attractive person and i dont want to seem fake about it. Whenever they tell me that there ugly or whatnot...im always like dont put yourself down like that your not ugly. Every time i talk to this person they always tell me how ugly they are! PLEASE HELP ME IN WHAT TO SAY TO THEM!!
I've been in this situation before. Sometimes, people really don't have alot of self confidence and it's like they expect their friends to make it up to them with comforting comments and praise. They don't realize that it's up to them to see the true beauty in themselves. I would tell your friend that they should have confidence in themselves. Give them lots of compliments all at once and make them feel good. Don't do this too often because then it will seem fake even if it's not. Throw out some random "feel-gooders" every once in a while to slowly raise your friend's self esteem. It's tough, especially in a world full of size 0 models but friends can make a huge difference. If you ever need any other advice, feel free to ask me questions directly!
Pardon me for sounding emo. I really can't stand myself. I make bad choices, I am a terrible friend, and some of the things I say--that I hardly ever mean--really hurt people. Sometimes I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror. My family doesn't seem to like me either. I don't have many friends. The only ones I have are jerks--but I don't feel like I have a right to get mad at them. It's what I deserve. I feel so guilty, but I can't think of anything that I have done wrong... But everything I do seems to be wrong, and I am always getting punished for things that I can't help. I am a terrible person.
I can relate. Sometimes I wake up and completely hate myself. It feels like everything I do is a mistake-- that I'm a mistake. This is a common feeling for some people because it's a phase that can really make you dislike yourself. I got out of it by changing my outlook on the world. I became optomistic and made everyday "sunny side up". If I want people to accept me for me and if I want my family to love me and respect me then I have to do the same in return. "Do unto others as you want done to yourself". I believe that saying goes something like that and it's the wisest one ever. Also "Good things come to good people". If you are a good person and smile at the world, the world will smile back. =]
should i leave my friend to go to a party with the guy i like or stay with my friend. me and my friend made the plans earlier than the party had come up....
Wow, this is tough because love and friendship are two big factors in a girl's life and they can often conflict. Talk to your friend and see how she feels about it. They always say that "Boyfriends come and go but friendship stay forever". People have opposing opinions on this subject. Some think that having a strong relationship is more important then being close with your friends. Consult your friend and ask her how she feels about this. Tell her that she won't be replaced or anything, it's just because you are excited you have the chance to go with him. Make it clear that it's up to her because she is your top priority. Friends like it when they know that they are needed. Good luck and if you ever need any advice, feel free to ask me a question directly.
I have this friend (Miranda) and I alwasy try to invite her to spend the night at my house (I'm 13 years old) and she won't spend the night unless she has another friend with her. What should I do to get her to spend the night by herself. I rate.
~~~Brittany~~~
Do you remember when you were little and you were afraid of things like sharks, the dark and clowns? Maybe not those 3 things in particular but we've all had our little fears that we have battled over the years. As astounding as this may sound, that's how your friend Miranda feels about sleeping over. Even though I can't imagine what bringing another friend over would do, she obviously isn't comfortable with the feeling of leaving home overnight yet. Perhaps you should sit her down and talk to her about it. Ask her what is scaring her and what you can do to help. As much as you probobly want to, you can't push your friend beyond her control. Some people don't feel safe doing certain things even though they are totally fine. Communication can get important facts out in the open that will make the problems better and probobly even reveal a solution. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask me for advice directly.
What does you are on of the ladies that doesnt shave and lives with the tree's mean. I was talking about breatfeeding and someone said that.. after i said yeah i just wip out my boob.. what does that mean?
I have no idea. I guess if you don't shave, they are mocking and saying you live out in the wild. Someone very mean probobly said that because that doesn't sound like a very nice comment.
I am thirteen and I have lots of friends at school but my best friend is scared to spend the night at my house. In order to try to get her to, I have to either pay her money or give her my most valuable possesion. It's really gay. If she spends the night at my house, she has to have another friend come WITH her and she picks people that I hate to come so she's never been over to my house! How can I get her to spend the night at my house without having to bribe or pay her? HELP!!! ASAP!!!
When you were young, were you ever afraid of the dark? Or maybe clowns or sharks? We all have our fears that are hard to tame. For instance, when I was little, I saw a show on TV that scared me. After I saw that, I grew very afraid of television in general. Whenever someone would turn on the TV that was near me, I would freak out and have to leave the room. It's kind of like a weird phobia. That's how your friend is feeling about spending the night. Though I can't explain why she would need someone else to come with her (as for the money, everybody loves money =P), maybe you should just hang tight a while and let her grow out of it. Like alot of things, it's probobly a phase that she is approaching late in life. Does she sleep over at other people's houses or is she afraid of going away in general? Maybe you should talk about her in depth about her fears and perhaps you (being her best friend and all) could comfort her and make her feel better. If you ever need any more advice, feel free to ask me a question directly. Good luck!
Now I know most people say "Oh I hate school!", but really, I do. I get made fun of so much but I try to brush it off because I don't want to seem like a weak person. One girl and a few of her friends call me a dike whenever they see me. I don't know why, I'm not; I don't know what gave them that idea. One kid calls me fat and makes fun of the clothes I wear. For one, I'm not fat... I'm not the skinnest person ever, but I sure as hell am not fat. Then theres this other guy, who also makes fun of the clothes I wear. For instance today I had a Sid Vicious shirt on and he harrassed me the whole way home about it. "Oh my god he killed his girlfriend" "Sid Vicious is so gay" "I hate the sex pistols" "You're a loser if you listen to them" I really have had it and I'm really sick of school, I just can't put up with it anymore and have no idea of what to do. I want to drop out so bad, I just can't put up with people and there stupid jokes. Anybody know what I can do about this. I really don't want to talk to anybody about it but I just don't know what else I can do. -kate
I wish I could tell you there was a magical potion you could drink that would turn all those mean kids into frogs but unfortunately there's not (well, not one that I can give you anyways). However, there is always communication. Now I know you clearly said you didn't really want to talk to anybody about this but unfortunately, that's pretty much the only option you have. A parent or guidance councler is an adult that has generally been through alot. All the problems that we face today, the previous generations have been through and they can lend us valuable information that will help make things easier to tame. I really hope things work out for you and if you ever need any advice, please feel free to ask me a question directly.
Dear Icy, I have a boyfriend witch i havnt talk to him for like EVER his like MIA anyway i dont think i like him anymore its like the spark is gone ya know? Im just worried that its not going to work out between us and that hes going to get hurt because he knows i like him lets call my boyfriend J. ok well it all started when J asked me out and i said ok then i asked my friend to tell him that its not going to work then a couple days later J asked me out again which was the 21 of december and i said yes and then its now the 3 of january and i havnt heard from him in a long time and im worried and now the spark is gone between me and J. Well ive had a crush on this guy lets call him Captian Crunch well ive liked CAptian Crunch for about 2and a 1/2 years. heres the story about him. I liked him then got over him then he started liking me and then he aslo likes me and the he went away for the summer and forgot about liking me and he is 14 and im 12 and im just depressed now cuz my life sucks parents are getting devorsed and mom has a stupid boyfriend which i hate and dad has girlfriend and on friday it should all be over. But the only thing is that my boyfriend is MIA i like a guy who probley will never like me again. My parents are getting divorsed, we are losing alot of money barley have any and my twin brother and i dont share the same friend ship any more. Im just dipressed and i need some advice! sorry for the length of this letter. I will rate 5 thanks
messed up girl
Have you ever heard the saying "Life is like a roller coaster"? It sounds like your rollercoaster just took a detour and is heading downhill. Do you have to get off or can you hang on for the ride? As for your boyfriend, things happen. I doubt anything BAD happened, perhaps he's sick or busy with school. If it helps, give him a call. If you're too nervous, have a friend give him a call with you. Things are always better when there's a friend around ;]. Now, for Captain Crunch, we've all been in that situation before. Not necessarily the exact same one but I know that most girls today have liked a guy and then had trouble letting go of him. I'm sorry to say but you're are probobly right about J. Perhaps your feelings for him are not strong enough to drown out those lingering "tinglies" for Captain Crunch. If it helps, talk to J about it. Since he's your boyfriend, he should understand. I've never gone through a divorse or one of my parents having another relationship but all I can tell you is to be open minded. Even if it seems like you seem something in this new person that nobody else does, it is something you cannot change. If you have already tried confronting your mom and dad about it and they are not responded in the way that you wish, just sit tight and try to get along with their new found loves. Be open and kind like I know you truely are. Treat them as if they were new editions to your family. Speaking of a twin, I really wouldn't know because I'm an only child. I know that I have a friend that is like a brother that I really am not close with AT ALL since he got a "fan club" of older girls that follow him around but that's nothing compared to you because you have spent your whole life with him. Talk to him about it. That's all I know since I don't have a sibling let alone a twin which I can imagine is an amazing bond. Good luck and whatever you do, don't result to self-inflicted injury or even consider suice. Your life is precious and you are a unqique person. There are people that wouldn't be able to live without you and people that love you dearly. If you ever need any more advice, I will be here for you. Feel free to drop me a question anytime.
my dad lives in washington state. i live in south Cali. it might help a bit, my bf likes my dad, but with the distance it won't do much. thanks for helping me
Kat
Wait, let's not give up yet. I really want this to work out because it sounds like you really love your boyfriend and I don't want your parents to stop your Happily Ever After. Like I said, talk to your mom and boyfriend and if that doesn't work, follow your heart. If you go with your instinct, your good because 3/5 times you'll be right. Life and love are about risk, trust, loyalty and fate. Now that you have found that one that you are willing to trust and be loyal to, it's time to take the chance and risk it all to protect your own fate. Good luck hun! You can always come and ask me for love/friendship advice... or on anything for that matter!
hey. i hope that you can help me. one of my best friends and i have been in an on-going fight for more than 2 weeks. ive been apologizing, and it doesnt seem to be changing anything. she always finds a reason to be mad at me. idk whats going on. shes been spreading rumors about me, too. and threatened to have people jump me! weve been best friends for almost 9 years. should i just forget that she ever existed, or should i keep begging for her forgiveness?
*Katie
My two best friends and I have recently gotten through a huge battle and are now in "recover mode". I've been through your situation many times before and I know that you are probobly feeling a rush of emotions right now. Part of you wants to forget about her because she's being such a major jerk and lousy friend... however, the other part wants to forgive her so you two can go back to the good life: shopping malls and sleepovers. I wish life was that simple but sadly, it's not. You're friend sounds like she is in a bad way right now and it's probobly better if you give her some time to cool off. I know that right after I get in a fight with my friends, I'm steaming mad and I need some time alone to myself. If I were you, I would find some other friends because it's always good to have someone else in the long run. Also, you can hang out with them and get to know some other people because you won't be attatched to your other best friend. Think of it as no strings attatched. While you're doing this, she'll have a chance to truely miss you. Once you've said sorry once (which it sounds like you have), she'll have a chance to feel bad. Good luck and I hope things work out for the best. If you ever need any advice on love/friendship, feel free to ask me on my advice column. Remember:
hows does a person shed some weight quickly?? ive been trying to lose weight for along time now and nothing seems to work. i work out 3 hours a day and that doesnt help much either.. and im not good for holding diets. i do eat healty thou... any advice?
and my friend has bulemia.. im trying to help her.. how can i help her stop and how on earth does she make her self throw up?
There are many ways to drop pounds fast. Some of them are border line dangerous like shoving your finger down your throat to make the food "come back up". Also, if exercise isn't working, you can always cut back on your food portions or monitor what you eat more carefully. I'm not suggesting dieting because let me tell you, I couldn't hold a diet if my life depended on it (unless you count the Eat Whatever You Want Diet because I've been on that forever) but I mean cutting back on how much. Let's say you have a delicious bowl of Lucky Charms (they're magically delicious ;]) but you still kind of feel hungry and want another bowl. Are you really hungry? Or just trying to wait that extra minute before catching the bus to school? Sometimes we eat just to occupy ourselves or eat when we're feeling down or depressed. If you make sure you eat when you're actually hungry, you'll be suprised how fast you can say goodbye to that extra weight! If you need anymore advice on dieting/weight, feel free to ask me a question at my column. Remember: iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENiNG
well, i basically have told he that and she just looks past it and says that she and dad were "different", and that he just is different, he had a bad upbringing, and he lives in a bad neighborhood, and she's worried that i'll fall into his little "underworld" and slip through the cracks. i'm just annoyed as hell because i have tried just about everything to show her that he's not a bad guy. any more advice? thanks alot, icy :}
Kat
Sounds like your mom is being very stubborn and stuck in her ways and that's natural for parents because they are very worried about their kids' wellfair. Just remember that your mom is looking out for you because you loves you. If you can, try working on your dad. It's hard to talk to parents because sometimes it seems like they really don't want to listen. If you have to, talk to your boyfriend about it. Like I said before, communication can go a long way and if you talk to him about your feelings, the two of you can work together in what you are going to do. Luckily, since you two are so close you can be a team in this and get through this together. If it helps, maybe your parents could meet his parents and build a relationship there. Bonding will also be helpful. Good luck! Remember: ♥ iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENiNG ♥
I am a girl and 13 and i'm obsessed with a 41 year old actor, (Johnny Depp). Is this a bad thing to want to be with a man that much older than I am?
Yes hun it's totally fine. Alot of girls are in love with older actors because they are really goodlooking. It's not that you are going to be attracted to older people, it's just that you think they look great on screen. No worries, it's natural like I think Ben Affleck is like whoa but it's just because I'm an average teenage girl. ;] And yes, Johnny Depp is quite good looking, I must admit. If you need any advice, feel free to ask me a question. Remember: ♥ iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENiNG ♥
16/f
So I really like this guy and I want to talk to him about us... a lotta people who hang out with us think he likes me too... but I just don't know. I want to talk to him about it but I don't know how to bring it up without sounding really forward. I also don't want to mess up our friendship if he ends up not liking me. I don't want things to get weird when we hang out if I tell him I like him and then he doesn't like me back... so I guess I just want ideas on how to bring it up and talk about it and what I can do maybe to flirt more with him and things. I already flirt a lot with him... but more ideas might help.
-Karen
I can totally relate because I've been in this similar situation many times. Since you guys are close, ask him casually "do you think there would ever been an 'us'"? This will sort of give him a hint but also let him know that you are thinking more towards the long run then really soon. It will probobly make him start thinking about you as more than a friend if he hasn't already. This is the first step and it will work extremely well especially since you already have a feeling that he might have feelings for you. This is also really good since it exercises your communication skills with him and it will help the two of you grow closer if you find the ability to talk to him about things like this, even if it feels kind of weird at first. Good luck and if you ever need any other advice, feel free to ask me, because iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENING ♥