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My name is Kat and I know how it feels to feel like there's no one you can talk to about something, or like no one cares. I DO. And I will try to help you as best I can. I promise nothing more or less than a friend to talk to, a listening ear, and someone who will tell their honest opinion on your dilemma. I usually answer your questions from my phone-online, so i wont be able to see EVERY link.

You can leave your question in my INBOX or you can even email me or add me on myspace.
:]

P.S. Feedback is GREATLY appreciated-- help me help you.

[Namaste]

advice

So, me and my friend just admitted to liking each other about a week ago and we've been talking about dating and being together.

Theres a huge problem, it's way bad timing. He will be leaving for the Marines soon after Thanksgiving. We are both happy to wait but the thing is that this JUST started. I mean, we aren't in love so I'm not sure if these feelings will just fade overtime on his part and I'll be waiting for someone who can't break up with me.

But I really think this guy is great and I'd be passing up the chance with someone wonderful, so I'm pretty stuck.

So I'm wondering if it's a bad idea to start something and ANYONE who has experience to please share their stories, I'm open to any answer:)

My friend and her boyfriend had the same problem. She was about 17 and he was about 20 when they started going out and just like you around Thanksgiving he had to leave. She stayed with him and they hung out everytime he came home for a visit. They eventually got engaged and she stayed with him though it was hard to be so far(she lived in California and he was stationed in Japan). They spoke on the phone almost every night and loved eachother very much-couldnt wait til the moment they could get married. She is 19 now and they broke up because he kept keeping secrets, drinking a lot, and kept accusing her of cheating though we actually thought that he cheated on her with women in Japan.

My best advice would be to stay friends but CLOSE friends. Then maybe later you continue on with a RELATIONSHIP. Its so hard and I've seen first hand that it hurts if and when it ends. Think about it and your options. I say just make the remaining time you guys have together fun and meaningful and the rest will come after.

Hope this helped you.

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okay so im 13/f. my bf is 14... weve been going out for 1 month.
kayy so heres the thing..
he LOVES making out..
but i dont..kinda prude i know..
so heres the thing..
i dont know how to make out..
ive made out once with my ex and i HATED it because he just did it so slobbery..
or i dont know if it was me=\.
i hope not..
so hes always lyk babe i cant wait to makeout with you and bite your lips ...
so then when we walk to 4th period [[when he wants to makeout]]he always gets me in a corner...
and i just try avoiding it..
can anyone give me advice to how to makeout?
or how to make it special or w.e.?

It is totally understandable that you don't like making out, and there is nothing wrong with that! I'm not going to give you any 'you're too young' crap or stuff like that, but I will tell you that you have plenty of time to discover making out and kissing techniques later on. Sounds like this guy is putting a little pressure on you to want to make out all the time. Until you are totally comfortable with him, yourself, and making out I say just have fun with lip nibbling and just kissing. You don't have to make out you can just make slow nice sensual kisses or something to that effect. That's also a nice card to pull if someone makes out bad. ;-)

Hope this helps you.

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What are some really good slow songs
preferably by a guy
where the lyrics are really pretty sounding
haha
something like "boston" bu augustana and "breathless" by better than ezra.

thanks!thanks! :D

I totally LOVE the song 'brighter than sunshine' by Aqualung. It's so beautiful. Also 'Into the Ocean' by Blue October.

=]

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im depressed!!! not like suicidal but i need help!! but okay full story--i wrote guy i liked a note telling him i liked him--he thought it was weird so i wrote an apology note for telling him i liked him through a note---he wrote back said he was gay and gave me a number--i called it and it was my friend austin-- okay problem time!! i am so mad! i feel like crying right now! why did he lie to me--about gayness and number.. why didnt he just tell me the truth?? i can take it ima big girl!! i hate that he is jerky but i still cant get him out of my head! why am i having such a hard time letting go?? i mean if he were to ask me out i wouldnt be all like YES but i would be considering and i dont know why?! people are telling me things back and forth. im getting sick of debating and causing conflict in my mental and emotional states. so im going outside of the box.. i think ima gonna cry.. ugh! what is wrong wit me? nothing i no its him. i dont deserve a jerk like that but he is just so sweet and gorgeous--well except the lying to me but he is really friendly and considerate to me now.. o man o man o man..

I'm guessing he's one of the cutetr more popular guys. Either way... That gives this boy no right to treat you this way. By everything you said I can tell that you are conciderate and caring. You are giving him too much credit despite him lying and having no consideration whatsoever for your feelings. Don't be depressed over this boy because your better off without such a guy. If he pulled that on you, would you want him to pull that rude stuff with your friends and family??

You need to find someone who can and wiull properly treat you as you deserve.Like a princess. You will have a lot of mini heartbreakes like this, and a lot of bigger ones-but you have to remember you are worth it, you're just looking for a guy who is too.

Hope I helped. If you have any more trouble let me know.

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15/f. I pierced three holes on both my ears (2 on the right, 1 left) by myself. When I did it, there were NO infections on either of the holes. My question is...if I pierced my ears without getting an infection, would piercing the cartilage work the same? Is there anyone that did it themselves?

thanks. =]

I knew people who have done it themselves, but I'm not sure if I'd reccomend it. I've pierced my ears myself too, but its not the same as cartilage. I had my cartilage perfessionally done and it still turned out crappy. It had a bump where the hole was. And now that the hole is healed there is still a slight bump. Blah. If a perfessiopnal did it, I'm not sure if I would try. That's just my opinion.

Hope my experience helped.

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Hi Im almost 15 and I havent had aboyfriend yet it may be becuz I am fat but I was wondering if I willl ever have one I feel so lonely and confused That all my friends have had one and I havent!!

plzzzz tell me why im so unwanted!

I let my younger sister with the same problem answer this, and here's what she wrote:

Don't worry, a boyfriend will be walking through your door soon.Just let the boys think "wow,look how confidant she is!". Only the right guy will exept your weight. Don't rush it,let them all know that you're alright with your weight.Also just think that some guys are going through the same problem.

--in addition to what she said, I have something to add... You have to be happy with yourself first before someone else can be happy with you. If YOU think you're fat, work out a bit, but if you're okay with what you look like then you just need someone who loves you for who you are and who you are inside. There is no rush to be in a relationship.

=] hope this helps.

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Hi this may sound like a stupid question but most of my freinds have boyfreinds but I cant get one cause the guys at my school say that their family wont let them go out with a colored person which I am well mixed raced and also that mixed girls are ugly! This is very hurtful to hear do you think I should change school? Most of my friends say they are joking but it is a form of racisim what should I do?

You must live in one of the middle states, am I correct? Anyways, I want YOU to know mixed is as beautiful as they get. I can't express enough how beautiful and exotic tanned and colored people are. First of all you need to be comfortable with yourself and comfortable in your skin. Be confidant in who you are and people will see that. People may even step out of their 'bubble of a world' to try to get to know you better-get closer to you.

Do not be saddened by this form of racism, because they are just ignorant and you are the smarter and better of the two. You are too good to be trying to go after someone who would try to treat you like less because your skin is different. Your insides are exactly the same.

I cannot tell you if you should change schools or not YET, but I can tell you to keep being strong and independent, to keep having a big heart and people will see this and be attracted to you. If this does not work out after a while and you still feel like changing schools then do so on your own accord. But DO NOT let them push you around or let them think they are the 'superior species' because you and me know otherwise.

Slavery, discrimination, and racism should be minimal to none now a' days.. Don't be another person forced into it.

Goodluck & Best Wishes

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In the ladies on this site's opinion, what foundation do you think works and looks the best? I want something that looks natural and doesn't cost a lot.

Thanks in advance

Covergirl True Blend is the best. Its very very smooth, natural, and blending.
The best I've tried.

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Ok so im a virgin 100% I dont use tamponds or you know stick my finger anywere. But I can make a farty noise from my vigina. Like air come in and out is that normal?

It is called a queef and its natural. Every woman does it or will do it sometime in their life. Totally natural so don't worry. It's just air.

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17/f.(really long, but please read) I was supposed to have a doctor's appointment next week because I have been having panic attacks, and my mother thinks I'm depressed(I think it may be bipolar, and I pretty much said that to her but she doesn't care), and for a bunch of other things. Well, my mother canceled the appointment because she has something to do. So, she told me that I pretty much can not get into the doctor's for three weeks! It's bullsh*t! I know I have to see someone before something bad happens. But it feels like my parents do not give a damn. They truly don't. The only reason she made an appointment was because my grades dropped because of everything. All she cares about is my grades, and college. Well, for me to get into college, I need to fix what is happening right now to bring up my grades. She doesn't see that. It feels like she is always blowing this off, like I'm faking or something. I know what a panic attack is, and that's what is happening. The only reason I know-I actually talk to someone once in awhile. I talk to my teacher from last year. I had a bad panic attack in his room before and he talked with me. Helped me understand some things and it felt better talking to someone. I've talked to him a few times. He understands what is going on with the panic attacks and he knows I have mood swings. So he knows almost everything that is going on. But I told myself that I won't talk to him anymore after I went to the doctor's, because....well that's just how I am.....I'm like convincing myself that he is getting irrtated with me and doesn't want to hear anymore. I always tell myself things like that...I don't know why. I feel comfortable talking to him though, I don't know if I would if I talked to like a social worker or something. I don't know what to do now that I don't have an appointment. I feel so awful and like no one cares. I'm falling fast. I'm starting to hurt myself too now. Snapping a hair tie on my wrist til it goes red and numb, and today I scratched my arm til it went red and numb. I'm really afraid that I'm going to do more, more often. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. It feels like I have no one to talk to, no one cares. I'm lost.

Oh gosh, I know exactly how you feel. I had to convince my parents to take me years after I asked them initially. Its a long story, but basicly now I'm being treated. I have depression/anxiety/sleeping problems/ and anxiety attacks.
I know how it feels to feel like you're talking to a brick wall. Like they 'hear' you, but they're not 'listening'.
Your teacher seems like a comfort zone for you and you shoul keep it-just if you like... Keep it limited. I think if your mom won't make an appointment your school would help get you one. When something like that interferes with school and how you are affected in school relations they step in. Does your school have a counselor (not a grades and classes councelor, but a talking one-on-one kind)? If so make an appt with them, or your school could help you find a cheap or free one in your area. Mine gave me a list a while back.
Also, tell your mom what's been happening in your head. I can feel it somehow... The darkness and confusion your transmitting out. I hope you find your peace.

If you ever want to talk, my email is on my page.

Best Wishes

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name me some sad songs =]

The Love Letter-Blaqk Audio
Sweetest memory-Eighteen visions
Silver and cold-AFI
Adam's song-blink 182
Hate me-blue october
Outside-stained

**I've found that the best music for a sad mood is Stained (the cd Break the Cycle)**

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I want to download some new songs onto my iPod, and I don't know any more really good songs. Like really really good ones. Any suggestions are welcome.

I like mostly rock so here are some stuff I like that I hope you may too:

The Pretender-Foo Fighters
Learn to fly-Foo Fighters
Iris-Goo Goo Dolls
Demonology And Heartache-Atreyu
Beast and The Harlot-Avenged Sevenfold
MIA-Avanged Sevenfold
Dancing Through Sunday-AFI
Days of the Phoenix-AFI
On A Friday-Blaqk Audio
Two Angels and a Dream-Depswa
Disease-Matchbox 20
Dig-Incubus
Mr. Brightside-The Killers
My Sharona-Queen
Time bomb-Beck
Songs from Bayside
Songs from Eighteen Visions
Songs from Blaqk Audio
Songs from Dredg
Songs from System of a Down

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ok so I have long brown hair and it's layered and I have no clue how to fix it besides straightening or scrunching it wich is cute but getting old. Any ideas?

A few ideas are to just straighten your bangs if you have them; you can give a wet look with some gel and hairspray; you can give a beachy kind of easy-going look with Garnier's Surf Hair; you can make it glossy and shiny with some hair syrum/shine spray and curl it; you can bobby pin the mid section of your hair back (works with curly or straight hair)

-just a few ideas- =]

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hi im 15 and i havent had my period yet and I was wondering if thats normal and i was wondering what the highest aged person was that had there period!?? this is kinda embaressing so please help muwa!! thanx!

Some people don't even get their period til their up to age 19! It all depends on your hormones, weight, your mom's and your grandma's pubert spurt time/first period...etc.
You're fine, okay, and completely normal!

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I hate that after I cry, my eye get puffy and swells up, even after a while when it's not red anymore!

Is there a quick way to fix it so I don't have a blimp head when I go out?

Ahh that was exactly my advice. I was going to say the sppon in freezer. Works well.
=]

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20/f

I became depressed and never liked myself because of who I am I want to run away from every one to keep them away from my depression. But I couldn’t hold it in, I told them what was wrong and they said I should tell Lara how I feel. I deny it for 7 years to not tell her but it got to the point that I was about to blow! So I told Lara that I am bi sexual and I am in love with her. Lara was in shocked but stayed there by my side to listen to me. She respected me and will try to help me as much as she can.

After I told Lara how I felt 10 months ago I went to a party and met this guy, nothing happen but I told Lara about it. She then got mad, she said she was not sure to be happy for me or pissed. I didn’t understand what she meant.

I told her that I am moving on and you are not making it easy on me. And she said she was jealous because she didn’t want to drift apart from our friendship and was afraid that we won’t be close anymore. She told me that she was jealous of my last two boyfriends in the year of high school. (And I remember her odd behavior, when I told her and my other friends that I got a boyfriend name Tony she ask me privately if we are going to kiss. And I look at her and said “maybe why? “ Lara said “well you know I hate it when people kiss” but after she said that, that made me wonder.) So now I’d told Lara that the reason why I went out with them is because I want to get over her and move on. And that’s why I want to move away to rethink my thoughts. She asks me why I liked her and I said “I don’t know how it happened but it did. But I am attracted by smarts, mysterious and adventures personality and that’s what you are.
But I really can’t explain it; it’s hard to put into words.”

Lara only had one boyfriend that lasted 3 days at freshmen year and she never told me about him until I found out the day she broke up with him. I ask Lara 2 days after she broke up with him why she didn’t tell me and she got all defective and said “I thought Rachel told you” (our friend who knew that Lara was going out with Josh) but I explain it to her that its yourself suppose to tell the friends. And she still got defective (I never understood that). But after him she had no one else she had some crushes but never ask them out but now when I ask her if she wanted a boyfriend she says “no not really”.

I got mad at Lara because it sounded like she like me back and I didn’t want her to (even thou I do wish it) Because I don’t think I can be good in a relationship because of me not believing in myself. I told Lara that but she didn’t respond to it. September last week I gave her a note that read:

I want to make things clear between us, because I been feeling quiet confused at the moment.
When I explain myself to you and how I felt about you, you took it respectfully and I am grateful for that. You told me in the chat room that you are fine about my feelings but don’t like me in that way. I respect that and so I moved on. But when I told you that I meet that guy Paul at the party you seem a bit jealous and I ask why you where. And it did catch me off guard, when you explain it to me and I didn’t know what to say but I was really confused because I didn’t know what to think. So I want to ask you, do you like me more than a friend? I need to know just to make things a bit clear, if you don’t then that’s fine we will stay good friends. I value our friendship very much but it seems like right now it is on the line and I don’t want anything to break it.

Please write me back when ever you can.

She hasn’t written me back and it’s been 3 weeks, I see her every Tuesday and Thursday because we have math class together. And it’s been bugging me why she hadn’t written back. What I think is that she can’t decide or to afraid to say no I don’t know but I want to know soon. What should I do?

7 years is a long time to hold something that important in. I think you should ask Lara if you guys can do something after class(dinner, cup of coffee, etc.), or talk for a few minutes after if she has something else she has to do. Its good that you have tried to move on from after she told you she didn't feel the same way... But now it sounds like you're making her jelous by being with other people. She may be starting to have unexplained feelings for you now and doesn't really understand it, herself. She may be undecided on if she should act upon her impulses or not. Either way, you need her to give you an answer for how she has been acting, because you need to know how she feels, and why she feels the way she does.

I think it may be stressing you a little, and go get an answer will relieve your mind. Ask her in person, but not in class or in front of tons of people. Tell her you're confused and you're her friend and you wish to know what's going on.

As for if she does like you and by some chance you get together or you get with someone else...

You must have some sort of self-confidence and self worth for someone to see that you are of worth. It shines through you and radiates and when you're confidant it attracts people; they feed off that positive energy. If you haven't gone to counseling yet, you might want to go every couple weeks or so to help relieve tention, stress, or even just to talk about how you feel about life. You can gain back a lot of confidence.


No matter what happens though, try to remain close to your friends. Don't do anything that may wound your friendship. It sounds like you guys have a tight-knit relationship and it would be sad to see that split.

Much love & Best wishes.

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Well, for the past 3 years I've pretty much have been drifting in this town,and freshman year,I'm realizing, it has nothing to offer to me. I live with my mom, but my dad lives in another state. I'm thinking of moving in with him, just to get away from it all. Theres pro's and con's, such as i wont be seeing my best friend, but i will be able to start over. has anyone experienced this or been through this before? Should i really give everything up? I need some,i don't know, insight? I know you can't make the decision for me, but I'm just looking for one last piece of advice, you know? 14/f

I moved away from where i lived all my life to make a new start and live with my mom recently. I left behind my dad(who was like a best friend), a boyfriend, a best friend, and people who were my friends, and a car my dad bought me for my birthday. I knew i had to move though, because i could feel it in my bones. I needed a new start and new people. I needed to feel alive again and to appreciate and see all life has to offer. It was hard to break free from the people and things I loved so much, but now i find myself happy with who i am and what im becoming. Im finding myself, and finding peace in my life. I hope this helps a little to know that change isnt always a bad thing, and that whatever decision you make is what YOU know is BEST FOR YOU.
I think you have alot of courage for considering to do this, and i wish you the best of luck on your journey.


=]

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How do you apply eyeliner? whenever i try, i get like a strip of skin between my lash line and the line of eyeliner. also, is there a subtle way to wear eyeliner, ie for school?

How to apply eyeliner sites:
http://www.wikihow.com/Apply-Eyeliner
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.bbc.co.uk/slink/images/255x143/hb/eyeliner.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.bbc.co.uk/slink/fashion/index.shtml%3Fpage%3Dmakeup%26sub%3Deyeliner&h=143&w=255&sz=12&hl=en&start=1&um=1&tbnid=K1-la7p2BgwzTM:&tbnh=62&tbnw=111&prev=/images%3Fq%3Ddaytime%2Bmakeup%26svnum%3D10%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den

Cute makeup for school:
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/03_02/hilaryduffAP1603_400x422.jpg
http://www.dphotojournal.com/wp-content/makeup/makeup01b.jpg


Hope I helped.

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are leg warmers stillin style? because i just bought some but no ones been wearing them at my school so are they?

They're not really, but why not just wear them? If its cold and you have a reason to, you can start a trend and get some attention. Turn some heads! =]

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What are some good songs about getting cheated on?

Maroon 5-Wake Up Call
Kelly Clarkson-Never Again
Beware! Criminal-Incubus
Salt For Your Wounds-AFI
Devil Beside You-The Used

Just a few.

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