cheney232's advice column

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Q: I firmly believe that I have a mental illness. Not something serious. Just like a personality disorder. However, my parents think I'm perfectly normal...and just exaggerating. However, I'm not. But whenever I try to tell them, they shrug it off and refuse to let me go to a therapist or something. What can I do to make them listen to me? Is there some kind of online or on-the-phone service? Thank you. =]

i have this porblem to although mine is a anbger management thing the best thing to do is talk to them about like in the car or over dinner a time where teh ycan tjust blow it of, if your in a car with them what are the ygonna d ojumpout no they will listen just tell them you wan tt ofind out and if you dnt then you wont ask to be taken back but you just want t oamke sure.

Q: You know how people say "if you want to know who your real friends are, when something bad happens, see who's there to comfort you"? Well I kind of want to see who my real friends are. The thing is, nothing really bad ever happens to me. Haha, I'm lucky. But what should I do? I kinda want something bad to happen to me, just something that makes me a little upset, just to see who will be there for me. Any suggestions or advice would be great. Thanks.

15/f by the way.

trust me, by experience dont wish something to happen to you. if you and your friends are good then keep it that way. you definetly dont want to screw your self over by making something up. be glad your friends our your friends and dont blow your self over. time will come and you will see who your true friends over but in the mean time, just have fun wit hthem and relax

Q: Today my boyfriend and I were making out, and he put his hand up the back of my shirt. He has done that many times before and its fine. Nothing else happens. But today he kind of made his way to the front and tried to get up to my chest. I didn't say anything. I just kind of subtly put my arm in his way and he stopped. He didn't try again and I never told him to stop so I can't blame him, but I got really upset. I actually started crying which was weird because I don't cry much at all, but I tried to hold it back, and I told him it was just my contacts bothering me. He kept asking what was wrong but I couldn't tell him. I could only say "I don't know". I can't get myself to say the words. I want to wait a while and I know he cares about me, I'm sure he would be willing to wait till I'm ready for that. But I don't know how to tell him. He's shy about things like this when you actually talk to him about them so I think telling him face to face might be really difficult.
HOW do I tell him? When can I bring it up? How do I put it into words? What do I say to him exactly?

well make sure you tell him soon so that things dont get ou tof control. trust me no boy will make a big deal about it. for the most part if your not ready then your not. just kinda of cassually slip the conversation in thier by saying i need to talk to you he will say what and you can say well you know the other day...... and so on hope i helped

Q: What are ways other than flirting to tell boys you like them without actually telling them?

lay it down, not all guys really understand and unless it is told to them thier way to oblivious to know, stay firm at what your doing and kind of make it obvious laot just kinda of like poke him in the arm nd he'll do it back and yeah :)

Q: basically i suck at holding a conversation. whenever i talk to someone, i come up short for things to talk about. and when i do talk, its usually about something boring lol. so what im asking is for advice on how to create conversation and keep it going so im not boring. thank you!

well generall ywhen this happens to me depending on who you are atlkin gto, just say "so tell me somethin gabout yourself i would neevr guess?" and that usally breaks ou tthings to talk about :) i hope i helped

Q: When/what age did you figure out you were bisexual? How did you know?

I'm really close to my friend and she's always been there for me and I just love her so much, but i've never felt this way about any other , only guys. Do you think I could be bisexual?

I'm 14.

lets ee its poosiable you could be, or it could be an experimenting thing when you just become so close in a relationship with someone tah tanything can happen. dont sweat it and just sort i tall out

Q: ok so in 8th grade i went out with this guy and i really liked him. but then we broke up. well now we are juniors in high school and we are still friend but i still really like him, i never really got over him. he knows i still like him and somtimes it seems like he likes me back but other times it dosent and i dont know if i should let it go or keep holding on. please help!

hey katie :)

Q:
When I was little, my parents never spent time with me, never talked to me unless it was about something i did wrong, and really brought me down.

Now I'm 16, and I'm used to living without my parents basically. They're there, but not there for me.

I think my childhood led up to the reason why I don't have any esteem at all.

I'm trying to make up for those years by hanging out with my friends- and they're calling me "clingy".

I need to try and make up for those little positive moments i never had as a kid, I need to get my esteem past the level of zero.

Any advice on how I can do this?

its hard i know and the easyest thing to do is let your slef know your neevr goin t obe like them. hold your head high and show tehm taht your better then them your gonna be better then them when you walk outside let people know your strong, just think of something taht really gets you going happy you know, and for the most part it will help.

Q: me and my boyfriend have been together for a couple weeks
but weve been talking for like 2 months. i trust him and everything but should i have sex with him?
or should i wait?

im not a virgin so its not like my frist time.

what should i do?

dont rush into anything, i mean yes you trust him but if thast also teh case then wai ta while to see how much you trust him. you dont want t o do naythin gyou regret and if he likes yo uas much as you like him wait to get to know eachother make sure hes not just in it for the sex.

Q: okay so i have just gotten over this one guy that i have liked for a bit and all and i am all good now with that. but now there is a new guy in my summer school class and for the past two weeks we have been having a really good time. he is the type that will come up to me and talk to me and he is a REALLY big flirt and i like that. anyways well my one friend met him in person and said that we would be really cute together and she liked him(friend way) and that she knows that he likes me or watever. and then my other friend went on his myspace and decided that he was a player and that he probably isnt the best. now i dont know what to do i mean i am beginning to really like this guy and i have no clue what to do. i dont think he is a player and he is realy sweet but my friend is determined that he isnt good. any suggestions?? thanx!!1

well first off if a friend senses he isnt good then listen they wouldnt be doing it just for the hell of it, thiers obviously something thats not right, and you should never doubt your friends in something like this espeacially a girlfriend, friends are ten times better then boys. mean while if you like him then find out for yourself, i mean you live once and thiers always that chance you take where you have to say what if, so do what you think is right no matter what the consequences.
hope i helped

Q: okay well i have been having a problem lately. so its summer and you know how the whole fling thing goes and all. well there has been a few guys here and there but nothing major. now i tell my bff about them and she listens but now it seems like she is getting mad about it. cause i will have this one guy and then another comes along so i get to now him a little bit better and then end up liking him. this has happened a few times and now i dont know what to do, i have finally found the guy that i like but she doesnt believe me because she thinks that he is like all the others but he isnt!!! and i know that you probably think that now too but i promise you.......i really like this guy. so how do i get my friend to believe me? i have tryed talking to her but that isnt working out so well. i just want her to accept that i really like him and be there for me. pleeze help!!

wow, lol this sounds like me and my bff anywho, well if you really like him then you really like him , i mean it shouldnt matter what anyone else thinks but you anyways. and im sure she isnt mad at you because if she is your best friend then sure it may take some time, but she will get over it. just reemebr dont argue about it because friends are always way more important then a boyno matter what the circumstances are.just talk to friend. let me know how it goes
if you need more help your welcome to email me
nayez23@yahoo.com

Q: okay i only have a week and a half left to get this guy to admit that he likes me and ask me on a date or something. he is in my class and i really like him and he may like e...idk though. how can i get him to notice me or something!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

well just play it cool. i mean you wouldnt just think he likes you for no apparent reason, which obviously means he flirts with you and he wouldnt do it unless he didnt like you, although he could just be their to hit it and quit it idk though. just go for it does he know you like him??

Q: what is masturbation and how is it done??
14/f
thankss

well for a girl masturbation is basically fingering yourself.

Q: ok well i have a problem i have liked guy for almost 2 years and i cant get him out of my head...i cant to get over him i just dont know how.... all my friends have been telling me i need to but its not as easy as it looks and i feel they just dont get it. i am getting really annoyed with thm!!!!!!!pleze help me before i go crazzzzzyyyy!thanx

well in your case i completely know what your goin through well my bestfriend is in the same position, but just calm down getting mad wont help anything so relax about it and when your ready to get over him you will. its ok to let your friends say what they want becasue they are just looking out but everybody know thast when you really like someone your not just gonna get over them i na mtter of words , so when the time comes around yo uwil land you need to let them no that. if you wnat email me im very good with this stuff nayez23@yahoo.com

Q: wazzup my cracker my love life suks i mean only one guy likes me and i dnt wnt to be with him but he really wants to be with me he always calls me beautiful and stuff and i havent seen him for 2 years and he still likes me

ok well the best thing to do is let him know how you feel, if you lie to him or lead him on your gonna end up hurting both you in the end. if you dnt want to be wit hhim let him no(nicely of course) but still. and for him he cant help who he likes and hew ill let go little by little espeacially if he hasnt seen you in two years. so just play it cool ,and things will fall into place.
p.s. may i ask who this is?

Q: 15/M There is this girl who i know used to like me a lot. Im not sure if she still does. I never thought i had feelings for her before, but now i realize i do... a lot. I was annoying when i talked to her a couple days ago, and now she wont pick up when i call her. Do you think i still have a chance with her or shld i give it up?i havnt called/txtd/ or IMed her for like 2 days now, when would be the right time to approach her and how shld i do it.

now. if you like her like you say you do tehn go for it, le thre know. for her its harder though because she liked you and didnt want t oget hurt so she pushed herself away but she still does cause you can tatomatically just stop liking someone, go for it fast though, talk and see what ahppenes.

Q: okay so on my myspace picture underneith you can add a caption but i also saw people putting more pictures underneith so i saw you use this
and copy the url there but u can only put so much inbetween and it wont fit in the caption it gets cut off if someone knows why or another way let me know thankss a bunchhhh

well this is what you do, write down the entire code ) at the end. write i tall down first then go back in between teh qoutations and oost the url :)
tell me if it works :)

Q: Ive known this guy for like 2 years now. We've been best friends since we first met. Over the time i've fallen in love with him. He says he only loves me as a friend. But, sometimes he acts like he wants to be my boyfriend. Hes starting to confuse me. He'll do anything for me. Hes soo sweet. When I make him mad at me, he'll end up giving in because he hates not talking to me. He says it kills him.
How do I get over him? everytime it seems i do, he draws me back in. Even if i have a boyfriend!

wow ok so i know exactly how you feel, and the best thing to remember is everything happenes for a reason, and if you try to force yourself to stop liking him, your just gonna end up falling even harder, so play it cool and relax. soon but surely you wont relize it yourslef but you will eventually find taht he isn tthe one and youve become so close that if you ended up goin out it would hurt both of you.
but try talking to him about let him know how yo ufeel, it wont hurt to try and you will neevr know if you dnt.
hope i helped

Q: My boyfriend and I have sex almost every day. Some people see this as a bad thing others dont...Im not sure cause people keep telling me that Im confussing sex with love. I've had sex with 3 other guys. I never felt this way before. I know for a fact that I love this boy. But why does everyone think having sex is a bad thing. We have sex 2 or 3 times a day and we are always all over each other. I feel comfortable kissin and making out anywhere. Is this bad?

is not bad but,not at all, but the ebst thing to do is find out if he loves you to or is it just for the sex, try to go a day without and see what happenes, how he reacts to it, nad you'll be sure to find out if its love or sex
hope i helped

Q: im 13 and my boobs are just developing and i only have 1 its been like this for months is this normal

wow let me tell you, i have the same problem and i promis your gonna feel uncomfortable at first but they will grow and youll be fine it happens to alot of the ppl so not to worry

bio

ok lets see well my name is
Shenaye and im 16 years old.my life is'nt perfect but then again not alot of peoples are.i guess you can say i care about things way to much but i just like to say im sensitive. I'm very emotionally attached to people but I rather love then never know the feeling. I love giving people advice, I learn to listen to people's problem's more and more each day, My friends say I'm really good at it. It may not always be right but at least its something to fall back on if nothing else works right? anyways I've been through alot more in my life then alot of people can say they have: family,love,friends,abuse,drugs,suicicde attempts. and many more I dont like to really talk about it but I know its made me a way stronger person then I once was.
My friends are my life you mess with them i'llpull an operation beatdown on you