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Q: Lets say you were intoxicated to a point where you ended up blanking out and dont remember every detail of the night, and someone tried to get you to have sex with them by touching you where they shouldnt but you you managed to tell them no you cant do it so you didnt have sex, didnt kiss them, or touch them back. Would you consider that cheating??

PS: drinking is only ok in moderation and I dont think I will be touching any for a long time. That could have turned to a dangerous situation and I am aware of that.

This isn't cheating--it's molestation. However, (I'm assuming this happened to you) I would talk to your significant other about it, so that word doesn't get to him/her through someone else and they believe you are cheating, which can be just as damaging to a relationship. If the guilt doesn't go away or you just need to, I would also suggest talking to a psychologist or therapist of some sort. While it's not smart to drink enough to lose control over yourself, it is never your fault if someone molests or rapes you. If you need someone to talk to, remember that there are many of us here that love to help, and you can always message us. Good luck and much love.

~TD

Q: last night i went to a friends and my best friends boyfriend was there he cheated on her with me, i realy really regret it and im so worried shes going to find out. I feel so bad!!???

I agree with sodapop that you need to tell your friend. However, you also need to evaluate what kind of friendship you two have. If you do not have a strong friendship, you may have to face the fact that you two will not be friends anymore. Sometimes, a friend who loves her boyfriend will find it easier to pin the whole affair on you, and leave her boyfriend blameless--in that case, you will have worse than no friendship; you will more than likely become enemies. Some friendships, however, can weather it. Determine what kind of friendship you have to figure out how to tell her. If she's going to be jealous, don't put the blame on the guy. If you think she will dump you as a friend, you could ask if there is anything you could do to win her trust back. Hopefully you guys can work it out, but realize she will have trust issues with you for a while. However, all of that is better than someone else telling her--leaving you with no chance to regain her trust ever. Good luck and much love.

~TD

Q: Male, 26.

I'm of Arab descent. Earlier this evening, my girlfriend's sister asked me if when I marry my girl, will the dowery will be in goats.

I got pissed, and stormed out. And then my girl chases me down, and starts telling me that I should develop thicker skin if I'm to deal with her family, because they will make comments like that all the time, regardless.

The thing is, my girlfriend didn't use to condone comments like that, but then she went overseas for a year, and when she came back, it's like somehow I'm always wrong, and that I have to let her family disrespect me like that.

I'm not crazy because I got angry about that, right?

It is definitely your prerogative to get upset. The comment was hurtful, but even more hurtful is your girlfriend's lack of loyalty to you. I think people can say whatever they want, but they also need to think about what they are saying if they plan to have any friends. Either way, we can't control other people, but that doesn't mean we have to put up with them. Your girlfriend should be sensitive of your feelings, and instead of telling you to get thicker skin, encourage her family to treat you with the respect you deserve. Talk to her, and see what is going on with her, and feel free to come back if you need. Good luck and much love.

~TD

Q: well im 17 years old and this guy at my work is 22. hes soooo cute and he kinda would flirt with me but i always thought of it in a silly type of way because he seemed to old to be interested in a girl like me. but today he gave me his number.. so i realized maybe he is interested?! hes so cute but do you think hes too old for me?

Girls mature faster than guys, so you often see girls date older guys. At 17, you're getting close to growing up, moving out, and moving on. I know it wouldn't have bothered me a bit to date someone that much older. However, you should think about his side of it. How long do you think it will last? None of my guy friends are dating high school girls, and there's a reason for that. It's just really not a normal thing within our group of friends. So I think it depends on HIS social life, and how well you will fit into it. If nothing else, you could go on a date or two and see how well it works out. Good luck and much love.

~TD

Q: my dog hershey just passed away. he lived a long life. he was 13 when he died. I'm so sad. he was the best dog ever. I loved him so much. he has been their my whole life and I don't know how to live without him. can you please give me some advice on how to live with only half a heart left in me? one half was hershey. since he's gone.It is gone. I need to know what to do and what to do from here.where do i go from here?

Hey, I've been there. We got our Golden when I was 2, so we literally grew up together, and she died when I was 15. I helped bury her, and I was depressed for a few months. What you really need to focus on right now is the wonderful times you two had together, but give yourself time to grieve--it's natural. I believe that animals have souls and that God has a place for our trusted friends, companions, and protectors.

I do have some suggestions that may help get you through such a rough time. Make some kind of memorial to Hershey. If you buried him, put a stone with a painting or engraving or something there. If you had him cremated, put some pictures and some of his favorite toys around it. It may also help you to tell others about him. The website http://www.chancesspot.org/ is specifically for the loss of a pet, and has many other good resources, but you could also make a profile page at dogster.com, and other people can look at it to see how much you loved--and still love him. If you find you really can't get out of your grief phase at all, contact a support group; you can look on the internet, or go to your veterinarian. Don't worry that your vet will think that it's silly or anything--vets are vets because they love animals, and they work with sick pets all of the time, so they understand loss. The vets I used to work for carried pamphlets on grieving for lost pets and contact numbers for support groups.

More than anything, remember how much Hershey adored you--and cheered you up when you were sad. If he didn't like it when you were upset when he was alive, he won't want you to be unhappy now.

Good luck and much love.

~TD

Q: is it werid to say i prefer to do forplay wit me parnter rather than avin sex , am i just a freak or what :)

Not at all! Foreplay is about attention and fun, whereas sex itself can easily become about only one partner... not so much fun. Just be open with your partner--do what you can to please them, but expect the same in return. Good luck and much love!

~TD

Q: I have never had sex but i told my boyfriend i have, i have been fingered, used vibrators and tampons. I was just wondering if there was anyway he would be able to tell that i havent had sex when we do have sex?

Probably. You really need to be honest, especially when it comes to your sex life. I'm not sure why you felt the need to lie, but you should think about it before you go any further in your relationship. He really needs to pay attention to your needs for your first time, but he won't have the option of being aware of this if you don't tell him. Good luck and much love.

~TD

Q: can you have sexual intercorse when you have a bladder interfections

You can, but I agree, it's not that great of an idea. Frequent sex can cause bladder infections, so I imagine it can make one worse. If you do, be very hygienic, and make sure to go pee right after. Good luck and much love!

~TD

Q: Ok so me and my bf and just started going out. I am shy and stuff but I don't have his number and he doesn't have mine. How do you get him to ask you for it? I know it usually trades off and stuff but not this time. I would be really nervous to ask so what are some ways to get him to ask me. I know you guys will probably say ask him, and your right but I just can't. So all I'm asking for is someway to get him to ask me. Thanks!

Hey sweetie, I know you're nervous, and you obviously know this, but the best thing to do is to ask him. BUT it's hard, I know. Don't worry, you have time in the future to build up your confidence. For now, why don't you just give him yours? If you go to school with him, you can slip a note into his locker? My boyfriend and I did that all the time for each other--it's easy, and it's a fun thing to do for each other once you've been going out a bit longer. Just an idea! Good luck and much love!

~TD

Q: last year i wrote this kid i had a crush on a note saying i thought he was cute. after that note, i talked to him 2 times .. one right after i wrote it and one time in the summer .. i did it regardless of the fact that he told my friend that he did not like me, but thought i was a nice girl. now at school, we just completely ignore each other .. but his friends always stare at me, so i know he told them the whole story & i see him glancing over at me from time to time in the halls. but it probably means nothing. i just feel like a failure. i'm 16 and i've never kissed anyone. i'm not ugly & i get compliments all the time that i have nice clothes and that i'm really pretty, but i don't ever really talk to guys. i hear things that some guys think i'm cute, but thats it. i make small talk but thats as far as it ever goes. they don't talk to me and i'm really not friends with them, which is really pathetic. i'm just shy around guys & i thought doing what i did last year with the note would get me somewhere, but it didnt. it just made things more awkward this year. i mean, the kid isn't an angel..he smokes weed all the time & does shrooms on a regular basis..but he is the nicest person and is shy just like me. he is insanely hot and honestly every time i look at him he gets more beautiful everytime. i know he's probably not the best person to like, but there has been so many coincidences between us that its kinda creepy. (too many to name)and its just so weird how nothing has happened ever since i wrote the note in april. i dont know. what did i do wrong? what am i doing? i just dont understand how i've been single & unkissed for 16 years while everyone else is so far ahead of me. there's no other guys to like .. trust me ive tried. theyre all idiots and extremely immature. the one time i actually really like someone who is really attractive&a good guy at heart, nothing works out. HELP!!!!

Hey girl, I definitely know how you feel. Before I go any further with advice, you sound like you really like this guy, but you know it's a bad idea. You know it, you've said it. So I shouldn't have to tell you. Please don't like this guy because you can't find anyone else right now. I promise you, there are guys out there that are good guys, attractive, and don't do drugs all the time. Although drugs may seem like no big deal, they can be, and you don't want to be involved in the chance that they are.

Okay, with that off of my chest, I have some tips and cheering up stories to share.

First off, let me tell you about my high school career. Freshman and sophomore years, I was really shy with low self-esteem. I shuffled when I walked, I looked at the ground, and I avoided people I didn't know. And, as you can guess, no dates, ever. I didn't really even have any guys flirting or talking to me much. Junior and senior year, I decided I didn't really care what other people thought of me. I looked up at people when I walked and gained a bit of confidence. I had tons of guy friends and flirted a lot. Better yet, I had dates to almost every school event, went out on a couple dates, met my first love, broke my first love's heart, then the man of my dreams asked me out (and we're still together).

The whole point of that babbling is that confidence, even a little, is the key. So here's my challenge to you: look at people. While you're walking down the hallway, pick a cute guy, make eye contact, smile, look away. Do it as much as you can, to as many people as you can (girls too). It's really no big deal, and yet I know it is. I remember how incredible hard it was to make myself LOOK at people. I'll tell you it does get easier...but I'll also tell you, I still struggle with it.

However, you need to try it anyway. It may feel fake and awkward at first, but the result is that the person you smiled at thinks, hey, she knows I exist, she must be a nice person. You'll make more friends, more guys will notice you, and when their minds wander, they'll start to think...that cute girl that smiled at me, I wonder if she's single? I wonder if she would date me? I wonder if she's a good kisser...etc. I won't delve any further into guys' twisted minds. And another upside? You'll have guys' attention, and you can't be called a slut or anything, no one can definitely say your smiles mean more than a smile, or anything like that. It just means you're friendly.

Some tips if it's really really hard (I hope it's not, but it may be): remember, this is not a long, ogling stare. Eye contact + smile...two seconds flat. (If you stare, people will think you are weird and obsessive.) Try practicing with your close friends, in the mirror, on your pet (they may not smile back, but hey, they're smiling on the inside).

Another little story (and you can skip it if you want...it won't hurt my feelings. Mostly because I won't know): there's this guy on campus I see every once in a while. He's gorgeous, and he's stolen my (as well as the other girls who have run into him) heart. We've never had a conversation, I have no idea who he is, but my impression of him is that he's a wonderful, sweet, sensitive and caring guy, and obviously a great kisser. Our encounters include nothing more than he smiles, says hello, how are you, and then opens a door or steps aside. And we're all convinced he's the most fantastic guy ever. Smiles are powerful...believe it! Btw, I just inferred the great kisser part, lol.

As far as "no other guys to like," I know it feels true, and it may be for the most part--that's just how it is in high school. Try giving guys a chance that you normally wouldn't. I know some guys that seemed immature, but it was mostly just an act to fit in with other guys--those guys make wonderful friends, and I imagine great boyfriends. If it doesn't work out, and they really are just immature idiots, you haven't really lost anything.

So be patient; high school is tough, but you are strong. Good luck and much love!

~TD

Q: so about two weeks ago, i went to my friend sarah's house with another friend, rachel. sarah told me that her younger brother who is a freshman, adam, was going to be there and so was his friend, chris, who was also a freshman. im a sophmore, by the way. so it ended up that me, rachel, sarah, chris, and adam, all basically hung out the whole night and slept in the basement togethor and watched movies and stuff. me and chris basically flirted the entire time but at times i felt like he didnt like me, but i couldnt figure it out. so the next week i sort of liked him but i kind of let it go because i knew nothing would ever happen because he didnt like me. but then, exactly a week later, my friend sarah told me that chris really likes me and he said all of these things about me like, he thinks im really hot and that i have a good body and told my friend sarah that he really likes me. so when i found this out i was so happy because he finally really liked me and that made my day. like i was so so happy. and that day, he facebook imed me and asked for my number and it was fine. then that night he imed me again and we talked and he was flirting with me and it was good. by the way, i never got a text from him after he asked for my number that day. it was weird. but anyways, the next day, which was on monday, i was so excited to talk to him so i text him but he never answers. it said that he got the text. so i went on facebook and i waited for him to IM me, but he never did..he was on for at least 20 minutes while i was, and i never got an IM from him. so i IMed him and we talked, but, i dont really think i like what we talked about.. he asked me how far ive gone, and wanted me to give details and then he called me a bad girl..which im not. i tried to make conversation about casual things but once i did that he immediatly changed the subject and tried bringing up the subject of what i had told sarah about him. then he asked, you like me? and i said yeahh. and he said, its cool i dont know ill have to think about it though. so then i was like what do you mean? and hes like i dont know like going out or something and im like oh okay and hes like yeah i dont know tho its complicated and im like what..im confused, sarah told me you said things about me..and hes like, yeah that i like you and i do but its complicated right now i gotta go text me if you want so i text him and ask what he means and he says that hes too committed to basketball and acedemics right now. then i say ohh..well i dont get it like..and hes like basketball is everyday to 730 except sundays, but your really hot and i wanna have good times with you, but i dont know right now. and then im like is this because you like other girls from your school, because thats what sarah said.. and hes like no not at all ugh this is so bad by me its just complicated right now, but your really hot, not in a perverted way, your really hot. he kept calling me hot like at least 10 times, he mentioned me being hot. and then, i say, well i think you know what you want..and hes like, what? and im like ..like its your desicion, you know what you want. and then he says, i dont know i want u and ur body haha but its complicated right now. and then i said, what so you dont care about me, just my body? and then he said, woah woah woah no not at all, dont take it that way, but im telling you this right now im too committed to basketball right now and i dont think having a girlfriend is that good for me. and then i said, oh..are we still gonna talk. and he said, yeah sure i have no problem with that but i gotta go talk to you later peace. and then i said okay talk to you later. and the next day, i facebook IM him, but it said it didnt send it..so then i try again, but it says the same thing..then i see that it says ive written hey three times. and he writes hey after the third time, so i say oh im sorry for writing that three times. my computer said it didnt send, its doing that for some reason. and all he said was, k. then i say yeah . and he never answered.. so then i sign off because he definitly doesnt want to talk to me. im so confused, he told me he likes me and thinks im really hot then why is he ignoring me now and made it out like he broke up with me when really, we didnt even go out? no one else knows either i dont understand, what did i do..

Wow, this is all very complicated. I agree with what everyone else has written, but I thought I'd throw in my own two cents.

No one thinks you should date this guy or try to, so keep that in mind when dealing with him; there's a reason that most of the advice you are given is similar.

You didn't do anything wrong, so get that out of your head! Freshmen guys tend to be little nerd bombers that are interested in seeing how far they can get you to go, and if they can get you there without having to take you to dinner and buy you things, all the better. Guys have two brains, and guess which one they tend use more in high school?? (And college, and um, well life, lol.) Guys are just like that, even the best ones--they just won't be quite as open about it.

So what you have to look for is someone who appreciates you for you. Someone who will tell you that you are smart, funny, charming, silly, happy, loving, or whatever you ARE--then they will tell you that you are gorgeous on top of that. When all a guy knows or cares about you is that you are hot, it's a bad sign.

My advice--ditch this guy! You can do so much better! Keep in mind that for the most part, girls mature faster than guys--that's why most girls date guys the same age or older. You might have better luck if you try dating sophomores and juniors (although a warning: ALL guys are immature sometimes, haha). Find a guy that respects you and appreciates you for who you are, not what you look like.

Good luck and much love!

~TD

Q: I love to text dirty things to my boyfriend and I also love to recieve those amazing heart dropping turn-on texts. The only problem is is that he isn't all that satisfying. How should I help him out?

He is probably either inexperienced, shy with you, or both. Give him a few suggestions about the things you like, or point him to a website that has some lines that might give him some ideas. The best thing for a relationship is communication... he can't read your mind, so tell him what's on it! Let him know that he's being too shy, and you'd like to go raunchier! Guys aren't so good at picking up subtle signals sometimes, lol. Good luck and much love!

~TD

Q: Thanks for your help. but jewlery is wat got us where we are now when things were doing great i gave her my necklace 2 wear her mom saw it and thats how i got banned from talkin with her. bc im black.... so i started most of the arguments cuz i acted lyk i couldnt trust her so now shes tired of it... she broke up with me 1st period...

I am so sorry. Some people just can't get over skin color, and it's so dumb that it cost you your relationship. Maybe try giving her a little time and space, then explain to her why you acted the way you did, tell her how sorry you are, and ask her to give you another chance. You sound like you know where you went wrong... hopefully she'll give you a chance to fix it. Best of luck to you, and much love.

~TD

Q: 18/f

I'm in college, and I want to get my roommate something nice for the holidays because a lot of us are exchanging gifts. All of us, except for her, celebrate Christmas. She grew up in a Jewish household, so she celebrates Hanukkah.

Would it be okay to still get her a "holiday" gift. Would I just write Happy Hanukkah on the card?

We're doing a secret Santa, too. Should we invite her to participate or just leave it since she doesn't do Christmas?

What's the etiquette for that?

I would research Hanukkah (I personally don't know much about it), and get her something that shows you made an effort to understand her point of view. I imagine that her family still exchanged gifts, so it would be more than appropriate to get her a gift.

You should definitely invite her to play secret Santa as well. Even if she doesn't believe the religious aspect, she probably wants to be included in her friends' celebration. At worst, she'll simply decline. Most people enjoy being included in their group of friends, and they are very hurt when they are left out.

If you are really concerned, you can talk to her about it, and ask about her beliefs. She has dealt with Christmas her whole life, so she probably knows what she expects. So just ask her!

Good luck and much love!

~TD

Q: 14/f

I'm in high school now and lots of people are talking about college. I want to go to college and I know lots of people start thinking about it when they are freshman. The thing is I want to do good in life and stuff but I don't believe I can do it. I don't get the best grades, honestly. In Biology I have a D. So that brought me down more to where I think I can't go to a college because they look at C's or better. That's the only low grade I have but its Biology. The rest of my classes are average classes. I don't know if I can do it and I feel really pressured but I want to. I am just confused. I don't know what I want and what to do with my life. Thanks for your help.

There are lots of options for anyone who wants to get into college. Believe me, I thought that I only had the option of going to some fancy private school, as my high school was a private college prep school. What I didn't realize is how enthusiastic some college recruiters are about getting you in. To be honest, if you don't have fantastic grades, you won't get into anything ivy league, but who wants to do that?? State schools are fine, and they have their strong points and weak points, but they are fairly easy to get into. If it comes down to it as well, you can always start at a community college, and then transfer to the school you like--I know TONS of people who did that.

You sound really smart, especially if you are thinking ahead, just maybe you're not so great at sciences. Don't overwhelm yourself--you don't have to have everything planned out right now! Freshman and sophomore years, concentrate on your grades. Get a tutor if you have to--there's no shame in it, especially if your grades go up. Junior and senior years, take the ACT and SAT--yes, take both! They are different types of tests, and you may be better at one than the other; colleges will give you credit for doing well on just one. And you can take them multiple times, and a lot of colleges superscore--that is, take the best individual scores from different test to come up with your overall score.

All four years--ACTIVITIES!! These are just as important as grades! Try to get an officer position in a club or be the captain of a team or something like that. Any leadership position looks GREAT on a college application. You know what else looks great? VOLUNTEERING!! It's easy enough to do; no matter what you like, there is some way to volunteer for something related. For example, I love animals, so I walked dogs at my local animal shelter. That one is obvious, but if there is something that you like, even if it is obscure, I am sure there is an opportunity. Ask here for ideas, or talk to your guidance counselor. Just volunteering an hour or two a week adds up over a while. Colleges are concerned that you are well rounded, not just if you can stick your nose in a book all of the time and get the grades.

Another thing that will help is, right now, you can rely on your high school guidance counselor to answer whatever questions about college you have, but before you start applying, I would suggest talking to college recruiters and counselors. Ask what your chances are of getting in, and how you can make them better. Most of the college recruiters had great suggestions and were very helpful, or at least could point me in the direction of someone helpful!

Most of all, relax and have fun! I know high school is a big deal right now, but honestly, once you get past your freshman year of college, no one cares about how you did in high school anymore. So make sure you have great memories of high school, because that's what matters most!

Good luck and much love!

~TD

Q: Is it wrong, as a girl, to continue to hang out with guys that I know are probably trying to figure out how to sleep with me? I know there's no emotional strings...they just want the physical. I still hang out with them though because I think they're fun. I'd never do anything with them because I have a boyfriend and I just blow off their comments and requests. I've also told them that I'm not going to cross the friendship line with them. Is it okay to still hang out with them? My boyfriend knows some of them but he doesn't know that they well...want me. Some are his friends. I just think theyre fun people and I know I wouldn't hurt my boyfriend that way. Everyone is 18-20 in age.

I think that it is fine for you to hang out with these guys, but I don't think that it would be a good idea to hang out with them one on one. Lots of guys want lots of sex, so it's normal that they would love to have a fun, sexy girl, lol. However, since your boyfriend doesn't know about it, it would be a disaster if you constantly hung out with a guy like that alone, and your boyfriend found out that the guy wanted you; he may jump to conclusions, even if nothing happened, and he'll be hurt anyway. Your friends are your friends, and as long as you are clear that it will stay that way, keep them! Keep that good head on your shoulders too! Good luck and much love!

~TD

Q: My period's late by like, a month.
Is there a way to make it come faster?
Because I'm getting really annoyed waiting around.

Sorry, there's not really much you can do at the moment to force it. If this happens often, you might ask about getting on the pill. I don't know how old you are, but there are some health concerns about getting on the pill too early, but those are questions you need to ask your doctor. If you are in the first couple of years of having your period, irregular periods are normal; don't worry, more than likely your body will straighten itself out. If you have been on your period longer, or your period used to be regular and now it's not, definitely talk to your doctor about it. Good luck and much love!

~TD

Q: There is this guy I like I told him I liked him, he freaked (He has a girlfriend). We would "talk" but he would not look. Then a week later we start "talking" again. In class I overheard him say "I'll just be nice to her" to one of his female friends. That hurt,but then later in the week I overhear him saying "I'd screw her" to the same group of friends. What is his problem?

I don't think he hates you, but you've put him in a really awkward position. Guys with girlfriends should be off limits until they break up. He rightfully freaked out, and that is a sign that he is happy with who he has. Saying that he'll screw you might of been just some stupid macho pride game; a lot of guys talk much bigger than they are. Don't take him seriously. And certainly don't become the other woman. It's demeaning to everyone involved, especially you. If he ends up liking you in the future, he should be man enough to be with only you. If not, you need to find someone who respects women enough not to have multiple girlfriends at the same time. Leave him alone; he may eventually break up with his girlfriend and give you a chance, or, more probable, you may find someone better.

Good luck and much love!

~TD

Q: 14/f

Ok me and my bf just started going out a few days ago. I feel so nervous around him though. I just want to know how to feel more comfortable when I'm around him. When we sit next to each other or something I kind of shake but not alot. Like he can't tell I'm shaking. I'm just nervous. Can you tell me some ways I can get more comfortable? Or anything of the sort. Thanks so much!

Hey, congrats on the bf! First off, I think it might calm your nerves to know that you are SUPPOSED to be nervous. You're young and in a new relationship, learning what it's all about! It's an exciting time, but also kind of a scary one. Realize that you are not going to be perfect, but he asked you out because he likes you, so don't worry about being perfect all of the time. He may be just as nervous as you are as well!

Some things you might try are asking him about his favorite subject--especially if you don't know much about it. Chances are that he'll carry the conversation, letting you get comfortable with having a conversation with him, and on top of that, he'll think you are fantastic for listening to his stories! (PS. Even if you are not fascinated, keep your attention on him, and ask him little questions along the way.) Once you are comfortable, try talking to him about something you really like that maybe he doesn't know to much about. Keep in mind though that some guys are not great listeners. Expect him to pay attention and be interested just like you did for him, but if he just isn't good at concentrating, you may want to keep the conversation short.

You guys might also go to a movie with a group. Going with a group keeps you from constantly wondering if he wants to make out (I personally think making out in movie theaters is gross anyway...), but you get the chance to sit by him for an hour or two, and just get used to it without having to carry on a conversation or anything.

Lastly, you just need to give it time. Once you get to know your boyfriend better, and he gets to know you better, you'll know how to act around him, and you'll know how he acts around you. Comfort is just something that kind of happens naturally, so let it. Most of all, remember that you are wonderful and gorgeous, and he thinks so!

Good luck and much love!

~TD

Q:
I'm on Yaz birth control. My boyfriend and I still always use a condom when we have sex, just in case.. but lately I've been wanting to have sex without a condom, but I don't know if that's a stupid decision or not.
He says he doesn't want to.. well it's not that he doesn't want to, he just doesn't wanna risk it.
So I'm just wondering... What are the odds that I will get pregnant on Yaz? Also, if there's a history of the woman in my family being very fertile, is there more of a chance I will get pregnant.. even if I am on birth control?

Any precautions I should take if I have sex without a condom? I'd appreciate any advice, thanks!

Like HardKnockLife said, Yaz is 99% effective, but keep in mind that this is when taken according to directions--this means not missing pills, taking the pills at the same time everyday for maximum benefit. However, a lot of women (including myself...) don't do this well, and this drops the effectiveness of most birth control pills to 95-96%. I would definitely use a second form of protection. You could try a diaphragm, a spermicide, or a sponge-type of protection.

A couple more things to remember:
Birth control pills do NOT work when you are on antibiotics!!
When trying to figure out how "protected" you are, you can't add the percentages. Ie. Birth control (99%) + condoms (98%) do not equal 197%, it's more like 99.98%

As far as being very fertile, I suggest that you talk with your doctor about the risks.

Good luck and much love!

~TD

bio

I'm back after a hiatus! I have graduated college (yay!) and am working with Thoroughbred racehorses in Kentucky.

I enjoy giving advice to teens because now that I am older, I have a proper perspective of high school, but I am close enough in age that I don't think I'll come off as some idiot with adult problems that has no idea how teenage life works. Generally I answer love life questions, since that is where many self-image problems surface-not to mention it's highly confusing! If you are wondering about my own love life... well, I have been with my current boyfriend for 5 years. We are getting married once he finishes law school, and yes! We are high school sweethearts!

I also love giving advice to dog owners. I have grown up with dogs and currently have two mutt-butts of my own :) I have worked for several different veterinary clinics, including a vet school, I have taken tons of classes, as well as doing personal research.

I try to be understanding of everyone's problems...I also try to see things from the asker's point of view, but often I do not have enough information so I do the best I can!

BTW if you want to ask me a question, please keep in mind: I LIKE--decent spelling and grammer, proper punctuation, and real words; I HATE--using "like" improperly, lack of punctuation, and gross misspellings. I am happy to read and answer any question, but these are just polite things to do for any columnist!