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Am I out of line?
Male, 26.
I'm of Arab descent. Earlier this evening, my girlfriend's sister asked me if when I marry my girl, will the dowery will be in goats.
I got pissed, and stormed out. And then my girl chases me down, and starts telling me that I should develop thicker skin if I'm to deal with her family, because they will make comments like that all the time, regardless.
The thing is, my girlfriend didn't use to condone comments like that, but then she went overseas for a year, and when she came back, it's like somehow I'm always wrong, and that I have to let her family disrespect me like that.
I'm not crazy because I got angry about that, right?
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You're not wrong. They are.
If you feel you're always wrong, and she lets them talk to you like that, it may be time to reevaluate that relationship. Do you really want to be in a situation where that will come up and you HAVE to have a thicker skin?
I know you love her and not her family, but if it goes farther, her family will be your family.
I would have told her sister that a dowery is a symbol of respect, and at this rate they wouldnt even rate an invitation from you. If you storm out, make it badass.
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It is definitely your prerogative to get upset. The comment was hurtful, but even more hurtful is your girlfriend's lack of loyalty to you. I think people can say whatever they want, but they also need to think about what they are saying if they plan to have any friends. Either way, we can't control other people, but that doesn't mean we have to put up with them. Your girlfriend should be sensitive of your feelings, and instead of telling you to get thicker skin, encourage her family to treat you with the respect you deserve. Talk to her, and see what is going on with her, and feel free to come back if you need. Good luck and much love.
~TD
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Your definetly not crazy, thats for sure. Im sure they didnt say it to hurt you, but it does hurt you. You should talk to your girlfriend about how it truely makes you feel, that you dont like it at all. Maybe occsionally its okay if its in a funny way. I'm Greek, French, and Italian, and I get jokes alot about one of those, sometimes I just have to laugh because I have to admit, they are pretty funny (sometimes.) Try not to look at the joke for the nationality, actually hear the joke for itself, and you may think its funny too. Also, you can take your girlfriend's sister's heritage, and say a joke or too about that :-) this way the love gets spread haha. But as for being out of line, I would say absolutely not. But like everything in life, there is a limit, and if they ever cross that limit, then thats when its time to have a serious talk, not only with your girlfriend, but with her sister. Good luck, and happy holidays! Let me know how this works out for you!
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