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Why did he do this to me..
so about two weeks ago, i went to my friend sarah's house with another friend, rachel. sarah told me that her younger brother who is a freshman, adam, was going to be there and so was his friend, chris, who was also a freshman. im a sophmore, by the way. so it ended up that me, rachel, sarah, chris, and adam, all basically hung out the whole night and slept in the basement togethor and watched movies and stuff. me and chris basically flirted the entire time but at times i felt like he didnt like me, but i couldnt figure it out. so the next week i sort of liked him but i kind of let it go because i knew nothing would ever happen because he didnt like me. but then, exactly a week later, my friend sarah told me that chris really likes me and he said all of these things about me like, he thinks im really hot and that i have a good body and told my friend sarah that he really likes me. so when i found this out i was so happy because he finally really liked me and that made my day. like i was so so happy. and that day, he facebook imed me and asked for my number and it was fine. then that night he imed me again and we talked and he was flirting with me and it was good. by the way, i never got a text from him after he asked for my number that day. it was weird. but anyways, the next day, which was on monday, i was so excited to talk to him so i text him but he never answers. it said that he got the text. so i went on facebook and i waited for him to IM me, but he never did..he was on for at least 20 minutes while i was, and i never got an IM from him. so i IMed him and we talked, but, i dont really think i like what we talked about.. he asked me how far ive gone, and wanted me to give details and then he called me a bad girl..which im not. i tried to make conversation about casual things but once i did that he immediatly changed the subject and tried bringing up the subject of what i had told sarah about him. then he asked, you like me? and i said yeahh. and he said, its cool i dont know ill have to think about it though. so then i was like what do you mean? and hes like i dont know like going out or something and im like oh okay and hes like yeah i dont know tho its complicated and im like what..im confused, sarah told me you said things about me..and hes like, yeah that i like you and i do but its complicated right now i gotta go text me if you want so i text him and ask what he means and he says that hes too committed to basketball and acedemics right now. then i say ohh..well i dont get it like..and hes like basketball is everyday to 730 except sundays, but your really hot and i wanna have good times with you, but i dont know right now. and then im like is this because you like other girls from your school, because thats what sarah said.. and hes like no not at all ugh this is so bad by me its just complicated right now, but your really hot, not in a perverted way, your really hot. he kept calling me hot like at least 10 times, he mentioned me being hot. and then, i say, well i think you know what you want..and hes like, what? and im like ..like its your desicion, you know what you want. and then he says, i dont know i want u and ur body haha but its complicated right now. and then i said, what so you dont care about me, just my body? and then he said, woah woah woah no not at all, dont take it that way, but im telling you this right now im too committed to basketball right now and i dont think having a girlfriend is that good for me. and then i said, oh..are we still gonna talk. and he said, yeah sure i have no problem with that but i gotta go talk to you later peace. and then i said okay talk to you later. and the next day, i facebook IM him, but it said it didnt send it..so then i try again, but it says the same thing..then i see that it says ive written hey three times. and he writes hey after the third time, so i say oh im sorry for writing that three times. my computer said it didnt send, its doing that for some reason. and all he said was, k. then i say yeah . and he never answered.. so then i sign off because he definitly doesnt want to talk to me. im so confused, he told me he likes me and thinks im really hot then why is he ignoring me now and made it out like he broke up with me when really, we didnt even go out? no one else knows either i dont understand, what did i do..
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Wow, this is all very complicated. I agree with what everyone else has written, but I thought I'd throw in my own two cents.
No one thinks you should date this guy or try to, so keep that in mind when dealing with him; there's a reason that most of the advice you are given is similar.
You didn't do anything wrong, so get that out of your head! Freshmen guys tend to be little nerd bombers that are interested in seeing how far they can get you to go, and if they can get you there without having to take you to dinner and buy you things, all the better. Guys have two brains, and guess which one they tend use more in high school?? (And college, and um, well life, lol.) Guys are just like that, even the best ones--they just won't be quite as open about it.
So what you have to look for is someone who appreciates you for you. Someone who will tell you that you are smart, funny, charming, silly, happy, loving, or whatever you ARE--then they will tell you that you are gorgeous on top of that. When all a guy knows or cares about you is that you are hot, it's a bad sign.
My advice--ditch this guy! You can do so much better! Keep in mind that for the most part, girls mature faster than guys--that's why most girls date guys the same age or older. You might have better luck if you try dating sophomores and juniors (although a warning: ALL guys are immature sometimes, haha). Find a guy that respects you and appreciates you for who you are, not what you look like.
Good luck and much love!
~TD
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Honestly. To me it sounds like he doesn't want a girlfriend, but from you he wants "sex" or other sexual things. You don't need that I think the two of you should be friends but i wouldn't get caught up in that.
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Okay, I'm going to be honest.
This definitely doesn't sound good.
He wants you for your body - he said it himself. He is committed to other things, meaning he doesn't want to be committed to you - but he wants to have a bit of fun on the side.. hence asking how far you've gone.. which is hinting if you will go far with him.
You shouldn't even run around after him and try talking to him. Let him do the work. but don't fall into his trap, because it most probably will end up with you being hurt.
He's already messed you around and confused you.. they should be warning signs to you already to steer clear.
He doesn't seem worth your time.
If he genuinely liked you, he would make the effort, not constantly talk about your body like that.. and would find the time for you.
You can do better than him.
and lastly, it sounds like you didn't do anything wrong at all. You aren't the one with the problem. It's clearly him.
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Oh my.
He shouldn't be going on about your body like that... but it's probably his way of saying that he likes you but not wanting to talk about his feelings. You are probably the best judge of whether he likes you just for your body or not... but if he does like you just for that, stay clear - it can only end badly, seeing as you really like him.
He seems to need space. Stop making an effort. When he's on face book just ignore him. If he wants to speak to you he will. - make him come to you. He should soon realise he misses you and is being a complete idiot.
I think you should probably explain that you like him, and that he might have other commitments like basketball and school but your not gonna wait forever for him to make up his mind. Tell him that youre not gonna wait around for him. Otherwise, he's just gonna string you along and youre gonna get hurt in the process.
dont talk to him for a few days, then explain youre not going to wait. then just sit back and wait for him to start the running. dont get upset if he doesnt express an interest right away though, it might take a week or two.
- if he moves on instead, you should do the same.
He sounds a bit weird to me anyway lol
Good luck
xx
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