about

Ello ^^; Name's Maria. I love giving people my opinion about their situations to try and help them see things from different angles and finally helping them come up with the best possible solutions. I am willing to answer a question from any category to the best of my knowledge. I've been through quite a bit myself, who hasn't? In some of my answers, I'll give examples of situations in my life in which I can relate to. It all depends on the type of question I am asked and how it is asked. I like to read things that make sense, but if you have trouble explaining your situation, I won't give up on you for a mix up on words or terrible grammar; you're only human ^-^. Overall, I hope I can help as much as possible with my advice. I will always try to say things in the nicest way possible so as not to hurt anyone's feelings; nonetheless, I'll be fairly honest with you. If you've read this far into my description, thank you for your time, and hopefully your life is running smoothly at the moment. If you're worried about something and you are confused on what to do about the situation, feel free to ask away! I'm glad to help. :)

advice

I am 15 years old and when i was in 6th grade i fell in love with my bestfriends cousin. and he fell inlove with me. We have been on and off since 6th grade. and last time we dated was in august-6 months ago. yesturday i went to his house with my bestfriend and her boyfriend and we all hungout lots of awkwardness. but it decreased as the time passed. He put on a necklace i gave him saying nina + allen than the date. when i say we fell in love i mean in love-like the teenage love. first loves. you know what i mean? so when i left his house my bffl and her bf were trying to get us to kiss and i really didnt want to. but then he kissed me and i relized that i miss him ...again..still.. and this weekend we are all supposed to chill and drink and they are planning on us having sex again. (i lost my virginity to him months back)i know how bad this is but i dont completely mind having sex with him again- but i would really rather not at all. but in the end i do not want to date him, but i do want to hangout with all of them this weekend. just, what should i do? about telling him i am not ready for a relationship yet, and the sex thing. etc.. i know i dont have a straight out question but if anyone can find anything to say please helpp.

No one can make you do something you don't want to do. Give yourself time to think about what you really want. Your "friends" should not be planning things out for you, especially things like those. You are still very young to be having sex anyway. A teenage relationship should not revolve around sex. If you don't want to start a relationship and you feel that you aren't ready for any of that, then stand your ground and make your own choices. Always remember to give yourself time to think about what you really want; that is very important. Don't let anyone control you like a puppet. You have a say for yourself, so use it.

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I have been seeing this guy for 2.5 years, we both came out of a bad breakup and neither of us were looking for a relationship at the time. As time past I fell in love with him, he was in financial debt so I lent him money that he promised he would pay back, took out a loan as he told me he was selling a property and would have the money to pay me back which he lost and now in shortfall.

I believed what he was saying, he manipulated me into paying his bills etc as well and promised he would pay me back but never did. I had to ask to contribute to the loan otherwise he would not have paid me anything. Total is around $18,000.

In April this year he went from single to a relationship on his facebook and said he had to do that so girls would not go after him. During that time he told me that, a girl was hassling him and he owed her money, so asked me to call her for her bank account details. After I spoke with her she told me she was in love with him and I felt like I was in the same situation, he denied sleeping with her. I broke off seeing him because I had the suspicion he was seeing other women, which he denied. After I broke it off he said he wanted to move on and meet someone that his family would approve of, they would not approve of me as I am older than he by 12 years. I am 49 and he is 37. He kept wanting to see me, didn't want me finding anyone else.

Two days before Christmas he called and said he needed money as he was in trouble. I told him I didn't have any and could not get any as he has drained me dry. I recently found out that this guy is now engaged with a baby on the way with the girl he denied being in a relationship with in April.

I know this guy is not good for me and I want to cut him off but don't know how to do it as he owes me money. I have the feeling he will not pay me back as he has lied and cheated, not only with me but with the girl he is engaged with, as he was seeing me at the same time. So do I cut my losses and run and how should I handle it??

In your shoes: I would not walk away from my $18,000.

Arrange something with him, negotiate, to see how he will be paying you your money back. He has to give you at least a certain amount each month until it's paid off. If he starts and tells you he can't pay you your money or he's in a financial hardship, don't take that. If he completely denies the whole idea of paying you back, get a good lawyer, and sue him for your losses! That's a lot of money to just walk away from. Bottom line, RECOVER your money from him before you ditch him; he's no good for you.

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ok so ive kind of come to conclusion that the kiss is gunna come natural (hopefully) but my propblem is leading up to the kiss im gunna freak out and be nervouse i just know it! please help! give me some ideas to get over it! THANKYOUU

It will definitely come natural. Unless it's some sort of surprise kiss or something like that. Don't worry about it. Just avoid freaking out, and stay calm. Be cool about it.

Nervousness is natural. Picture yourself handling the first kiss the way you want to! It will help you want to act this out in reality. Remember to relax and close your eyes. :DD It'll be great; you'll see {err feel}. ^^

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okay so an ex of mine randomly started hating me. we were both fine after the breakup and stayed friends. then out of the random he started hating me. and i mean HATING me. the thing is, i don't even know what i did to him but apparently i "screwed him over" and i'm such a "bitch" and a "cunt". i tried talking to him about it and even apologizing and everything but he's so cold-hearted and will not forgive me for whatever i did. obviously i should just drop it and leave it alone but i don't like being hated for a reason I don't even know. what should i do about this? i know its best to just forget about it and leave it but thats the hardest thing for me cause its gonna piss me off until i know what was so bad that i did..

PAY HIM NO MIND. You are better off. A guy who insults you out of nowhere and refuses to give reason to, is a waste of your valuable time.

I can see why it would bother you to have no clue as to why he's giving you this treatment. Your last resort would be to find him in a good mood, be polite, and maybe get on his good side again. After some time, you may be able to ask him why the fuss earlier then. If this fails, go on about your business, and maybe he'll feel stupid after a while and probably get over it.

Some guys are known to hold grudges and attitudes against girls like this. Let the guy drown in his own glass of water. When he decides to stop acting like a kid, he will most likely try to talk to you. Let him be, and you be a butterfly flying in the breeze if you know what I mean :P

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Okay...wow where to start.
So my friend introduced me to this girl awhile back and at first it was nothing but like a little crush. I didn't even know she liked me until my friend brought it up sort of jokingly. Since then, she's been really touchy and close to me, despite the fact she has a girlfriend and all who left for college this year.
And within the past month, we've gotten really 'close' both like...emotionally and romantically and physically and it's gotten out of hand. I've spent the night at her house so many times now but...no not 'spent the night' in the terms you're probably thinking.
About a week ago she told her girlfriend Kelly and since then they've been at odds. They're still together and Nicole (the girl) is always complaining how she can't decide between me and her girlfriend. And it's really wearing me down.

I mean, I can't just say that I don't want to be a part of it anymore or tell her to just make up her mind since like....I know if I did she'd just go run to Kelly and make up. Supposedly according to our mutual friend, she really likes me but I can't help but feel like a sort of distraction when kelly isn't here. And I told nicole that on many occasions, but she just sort of gets upset and says that it's not like that, she's just confused.

I really care about her, and I've pretty much wrapped my life around her now, and she's sorta done the same thing for the whole situation. And I don't know what to do anymore. Anyone?

Ok, you need to talk to Nicole. I really think you should figure out what exactly it is that she wants.

When someone is confused, you should help the person get their head on straight by talking to them about it seriously. The best thing you should do, is figure out her feelings,and ask her to make up her mind. What does she want? How exactly does she feel about her "gf"? Who does she want to be with more? Don't be afraid of the answers, even if you're scared of getting hurt. So don't avoid asking these sorts of questions. These answers are what you're looking for. Pay attention to the way she talks to you when she answers these questions. This will help you determine a lot.

If she keeps this up, you might even end up hurt or who knows what. If you figure out what's in her heart, you will both understand each other and hopefully come to a resolution. Don't forget to give her a little space and time to think. Just be firm, and be strong no matter what the outcome.

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Hey so I was at a b~day party and I was dared to ask Seth {my crush at the time} out on a date. So I texted him and he didn't respond. So now I've moved on to like another guy that is my bestie and I love him more. How can I tell him that I don't like him anymore?

If Seth isn't wondering if you like him anymore or not, then you have nothing to worry about. Love is a strong word.

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Me = 17/m
Her = 16/f
Dating = 3 yrs

I want to tell my girlfriend the truth about me cheating on her recently. There was this girl I knew all through school and she texted me one day and asked if I wanted to hang out. I feel so guilty because I was attracted to the girl for a long time but never acted on it before. I did meet up with her and lied to my gf about it, telling her I was going to go down the road and look for a job. I met up with the girl and I told her upfront I had a girl already. Things still happened and I KNOW I am to blame for this because I couldn't be a man and control myself right. We didn't have full sex but it was pretty close at one point before I was like "Hey, I can't do this" and all.

How do I come clean with my girl? I don't want to just be like "Hey, I cheated on you" because I really am hoping she'd forgive me and give me another shot at this. What do I say? How do I tell her I cheated?

Don't hide this from her. The worst you can do is go on with her with this on your shoulders. Sit her down, tell her how you feel about it. Nothing's better than the truth, even if it's the hardest thing to say.
If she decides to give you another chance, then control yourself next time something like this presents to you. Just remember to pour your heart out. That's the best thing you can say to her. This lets her know, hey, I didn't think he would have the guts to tell me this, and it shows that he really wants to be straight with me.

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my boyfriend and I are at the point where we just fight all the time. I dont know why. I say he pushes me into theses fights, he says im too confrontational etc. etc. blah blah. Its just stupid and we keep creating more problems. It isnt fun anymore. I dont know what to do. Does it sound like maybe we should just move on? Any advice please.

Ok, remember that it takes two to tango. If you guys have been fighting more often, it's not one or the other's fault, it's both.

When you talk to him, use statements that begin with "I feel" instead of "You are." When you tell someone that they are doing something wrong, they are most likely going to go on a defensive/offensive mode.

But on the other hand if you use "I feel" statements, they can't tell you you're wrong about how you feel, because that's what's inside YOU.
For example; "You don't listen to me" as opposed to "I feel like you don't listen to me."

Step number one in avoiding conflicts is STAY CALM; probably the most important step. Never raise your voice. That just causes more tension between you guys.

If he's one of those people who feel they need to let out all they have to say first, then let him explain everything to you until he is done talking. Then respond with something that you both can work with. Win win result is what you want.
If you don't agree explain; above all stay calm and try to see things with his eyes.

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Im 42 and i want to start to smoke. Where do i start

Consider the health consequences and the amount of money you'll have to spend if it becomes an addiction.
Starting to smoke is as easy as buying a pack and putting a cigarette in your mouth.
I don't advise you to begin smoking at this age. It's harmful to your health, and your wallet.

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What does it mean when you keeping thinking about one of your exs when you have a boyfriend? Should i take it as a sign?? What does it mean..

That means you still have big-time feelings for your ex. It's not a good idea to date someone else when you still have feelings for your previous significant other. If you're still thinking about your ex, that means you haven't given yourself enough time to heal. Remember to take it easy. And yes, it is a big sign.

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I have decided I'd like to end my life. I have been without a job for 6 months and no longer have funds left. Nobody can help me and I feel that I am just wasting space at this time. There are no jobs available for me. I feel pathetic and alone. This weekend I will be left home alone when my roommate goes to spend the weekend with her parents in another state. What are some fast, easy ways to commit suicide? I'd like to this at home, peacefully, so that less people will have to see the body in the end. I'd like something that isn't too messy, if possible, but is fairly painless. Suicide tips? Thank you very very very much.

You're not pathetic and alone. Please add me on MSN.
idamaria1@live.com.

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whenever my friends and i hang out, they'll be talking and i'll listen. but then i'll try to talk about something that happened to me and they won't act like they're listening or they'll say something else that happened to them immediately after. it even happens with my boyfriend. its not like i'm quiet and awkward, these are people that i've known for years and years. how do i get people to listen to me? its causing me to be stressed and upset and i'm tired of feeling like no one.

I know what you mean. I have friends that I've known for years that just talk right over me and I feel small. Think about this: When a person is quiet and does more listening than talking, I notice that when they do have something to say, everyone is at attention. That is because they've heard too much out of the same people and themselves, and they want to know what you have to say. The more you listen, the more valuable will be what you have to say.

If my friends not only talk over me but ignore me overall, I don't go up to them and try to hold up a conversation. It's better to be around people who care about what you have to say, don't you think? Which is why I stop begging and going up to them and keep trying to be heard or anything like that. I'd rather be around people who don't treat me like a mat by the door.

Be smart, and let them talk first. Then again, if they know that most of your responses to their conversations are silly answers or you joke around about everything that you say, then that's another case. They won't take you seriously like that. Which is why they will talk over you.

Finally, if after you've done all this, they still talk over you like you don't exist, I say you ditch those people. They won't do any good to your self-esteem. Those people will just make you feel miserable. Time to socialize with other people who know how to have a good conversation where everyone gets a chance to express themselves and talk about their opinions. Good luck :)

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13/f my bf and i have been making out and i want to go farther. hes cool with it and said hed even go all the way with me but i dont want to go all the way yet. i want to go to like second base. how do you do second base with your bf? i mean wat IS second base really so i know what to do?

Really consider this: Too much of what you're doing now, will start to feel like lust, and not love anymore. While you are still too young to get serious with him, you're also too young to go any farther with him in terms of intimacy. If you guys do decide to go farther, I don't think the relationship will be real anymore, and it will lose it's magic.

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So i need some advice.I am not your average skinny girl and i am often paranoid about many things i do.I can fit into hollister clothes and everything but i refuse to wear shorts.I am considered to have "thunder thighs".I am told that i have alot of muscle in my legs but i still don't like it because i feel it looks disgusting.Well i have been wanting to do a emo style for years.I don't have the biggest amount of money and i don't really have a way with getting it.I want a cute way to do my make-up and ways to wear cute clothes without skinnies or shorts.I want to be able to wear cute shirts and have amazing hair and possibly get those dates that ive always wanted.I want to become a known girl that mostly everyone wants to be friends with.Soo,help!I am also female and 14(15 in decemeber)

If don't have the biggest amount of money, go on youtube. They have tons of videos with ideas on how to style your hair in tons of different ways. It helped me. Above all, don't ever cover who you are. Let the person you are shine out through whatever you choose to look like. If you have a black eyeliner, that can do wonders to a look, especially an emo style. Eyeliner is applied in different ways according to how you want it to compliment your eyes. For example, heavy eyeliner is very bold, while a thin line on your eyes is very sophisticated and clean. If you apply it all around your eyes it can make your eyes look smaller than they are, so be careful how you choose to apply it. You can also try teasing your hair! That makes hair look wicked cool if you do it right. You don't need to wear skinny jeans or shorts, just wear what you feel comfortable in and make it work. You can always wear cute shirts. The only girl people will want to be friends with is the one you are true to, so be true to yourself, and don't become a copy of someone else! Be yourself.

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14/F

It's more like 2 questions...confused!!

ok so I've liked my friend for about 5 years now but I found out he doesn't like me. He only thinks of me as a friend. I want to know if I should keep on liking him or just forget about him and stay friends with him??

Also his cuzin likes me too but I just think of him as a friend but ever since I found out he likes me, I've been thinking about him...What do I do??

They are both 15.

If your friend doesn't like you the same way you like him, forget those feelings. You don't want to end up hurt.

If you like his cousin, be relaxed. You don't want to admit to him that he's been on your mind. If you want, there's nothing wrong with getting in contact with his cousin. Get to know him, be calm about it. Everything will fall into place on its own. After all, you're still very young. I wouldn't worry about any of that.

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okay so i am f/17 and i have a best friend we have known each other for about 7 years she is also f/17 and we have been really close but sometimes i dont like her and i tend to talk about her behind her back now i know that i am wrong for this but our relationship is confusing anyways we argue about the supidest things ever!! okay so last summer we didnt talk for the whole summer ! because we fought over a stupid pair of classes how dumb ! righht ? anyways i guess what i need advice on is what can i do to imporve our relationship now? oh and by the way we are not talking right at this moment either..

If she is your "best friend" be completely honest with her and tell her how you feel. I don't understand why you don't like her at times, does she make you feel a certain way that you don't like? You have to figure out what you don't like that she does and be like, "Hey I feel like this and this, when you do so and so, I'm just trying to get everything straight." She can't tell you you're wrong if you tell her that's how you feel. Let her know that she is the best friend to you, (if you feel that she is, that is). If you want to get back in touch with her, just be honest and speak your mind. If she wants to talk, listen and try to understand.

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i'm 18 a freshman in college and my boyfriend is 20 a junior, our we on the same level? like is he too old for me?

That all depends on how you feel. If you feel that age bothers you when it comes to love, then that's up to you what you decide to do with the relationship. In my opinion, I don't think he's too old for you. There are ton's of people who are in love with varying age differences.

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weve had 10 years of love and 10 years of friction. now its reduced to edginess, short visits about logistics and lack of $.
I am trying to lead my wife back to love but she is resentful, angry and almost wants me out of her way/life. obviously no sex for years (3)

any ideas on how to improve our marriage

Sound's like everything is going downhill. Find some time where both of you are free, and sit her down. Talk to her seriously. Look her directly in the eyes. Tell her exactly how you feel. Figure out what is bothering her and what she wants. Please her. If she talks, don't interrupt her and listen intently. Communication is key. The solution is bound to come up. And whatever it may be, stick to it!

OR

Take her out somewhere and make it a surprise. Make her happy.

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How do I get my mom to buy me a dog?

Find your mom in a good mood, and talk to her. But before you do any talking, be very very helpful. Parents feel they can't refuse to get you what you want if you're doing everything right. When you do decide to talk to her, tell her how you are willing to take as much responsibility as is necessary, and tell her all the benefits of having a dog. Make her a deal. Tell her that she can give you three strikes. So if three bad things happen while you have the dog, you have to give the dog away or something. Give her options! Make her feel like it won't be bad afterall. Google up good things about having a dog, and memorize some, then tell her a few.

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okay well im 17 female and my ex is 15 male. (just putting it out there) laugh out loud bt anyways so me and him went out in like march bt it was kind of an on and off relationship like we kept breaking up for no reason some of his reasons were really dumb like one time he broke up with me because i wouldnt have sex with him what a dumb reason like omg ! bt anyways before skool started i promised myself that i wouldnt like him anymore and that i wouldnt let my feelings for him come bak. bt on the first day of skool when i went into skool i saw him and my feelings came bak ! is it bad to have these feelings ? and i still think he has feelings for me too bt im nt sure and i kinda kissed him today bt he kissed me well we bascilly kissed each other and i really liked it !!! i keep thinking about it what do i do?? i know that if we do end up going bak out that he will hurt me again or want me to have sex with him and i dnt want to.. im nt ready yet bt i really LOVE him

He sounds like a butterfly. You don't want to be with a butterfly. They land on all the flowers and want to fly freely and carelessly; A guy on all the girls is not someone to get serious with. I had that experience myself. If you are sure you feel in love with him, let him go. Don't be an option to him. Never do that. If you want him to see you as a serious relationship for him, let him come to you. Even if you have to stop talking to him. Do what you need to do throughout the day, and act like you're not worried about him or anything. Make yourself valuable. You should always keep a second you, that is strong enough to realize that someone won't be taking up space in your head anymore. Friends with benefits means I like your body and it makes me feel good, but I don't like you as a person. And a word to wrap all that together is: LUST. So please, don't ever make yourself an option. If you don't, that tells him, hey, I am someone who's worth all the trouble.

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