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Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Age: 25
Member Since: March 14, 2009
Answers: 41
Last Update: October 10, 2010
Visitors: 4454
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heyy i was wondering if you know anything about green tea and diet plans, i wanted to start a diet to lose close to 10 lbs in a month. and I heard green tea was a good way to burn fat.
Do you know a good diet plan? and Im 16f and a vegetarian. (link)
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All I know about green tea is that it is a great way to cleanse your body. To lose weight we actually have to eat more but in smaller portions. The more we eat, the more our body metabolizes or burns the fat we have. But if we eat less then it keeps whatever nutrient we have and therefore stores the fat more. So my best advice to you is eat 4 - 5 times a day but in smaller portions. Eat brown rice instead of white because you stay full longer. Drink lots of water. it really depends on your height, body mass and such to really determine if you will lose 10pounds in a month but if you do these things i can guarantee that you will lose pounds.
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Hello. I have a very difficult situation and want to remain anonymous please.
I am a 26 year old very devoted Muslim (my father was American Indian and my mother Jordanian). I am married with 2 beautiful girls and a wonderful husband. He works in IT and I am a stay at home mom who is on the internet much too often.
I was raised in Jordan. We went to a very good school and Quran school. I learned to memorize most of the Quran at a young age.
This is the first time I am opening up about this and REALLY need your advice.
My parents sent me and my brothers and sisters to a Quran boarding school for 3 months out of the year every year since I was very little. I learned a lot.
You see I lost my father when I was young (12 years) and the man who headed and taught the school and his wife where very helpful in helping me heal in ways no one ever did!! I loved my father, he was the greatest man I ever knew.
But this teacher that trained me had sexual relations with me since I was a little girl in that school. He was a very kind man who really knew how to teach well. But sadly I had to have two abortions before I was 17 years old. He was the only one I was ever with other than my husband. His wife was the one who took me to get these procedures to save my family and myself the shame. I am very grateful to her for being a mentor and confidant. But this is a shameful thing in my past I never told anyone about. The strange thing is that it has not bothered me or haunted me like I hear on Oprah and others who had these experiences. I do not have ill feelings toward this man and his wife. They are people I still respect because of how ethical and kind they have treated my family through out the years. They paid for all my education and my brothers and sisters as well. They provided meals for us when my mother did not have enough, etc. When we see them as a family we just pretend this stuff never happened. I never bring it up and he or his wife never do. It is all in the past. Until now.
My girls are now in Jordan with my family and they are sending them to the same school to learn the Quran. The same man is still teaching there. I asked around if anyone else had my experience and no one would talk about it. It is a very shameful thing for a Muslim Arab girl to talk about these things!! But my aunt, who is about my age, opened up to me and told me she had similar experiences with this man. She is also married now with five children and wants to leave the past in the past. She begged me not to tell anyone about him and to just leave things as they are since we both went through it and we turned out “OK”. He is still teaching now.
It would be devastating to our family to bring this news out about what he did with me and the other countless girls ?. I would never bring that kind of shame on him, my family or my religion. But I don’t know what to do because now my girls are in that same school. They are young I am concerned that the same thing may be happening to them that happened to me. One of my girls, the oldest is doing private things to her body that he told me to do. I confronted her about it and she does not want to talk about it. She is the same as I was when I was her age. I fear the same thing may be happening to them.
I really want them to learn from this very good school, but I don’t know what to do!! Please advise me at jihan.ali@europe.com
Anonymous
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Anonymous,
This is a very trying time for you and I can not say that I know how you feel because what you have gone through is something no one ever has to go through. Your teacher whom you put all your trust to has betrayed you nothing else. Of course you feel that he is kind to you and your family for many years but you must not forget the fact that he has done things to you sexually that are considered illegal. he was already an adult when he started doing it to you. He should have known not to take advantage of your trust. He needs help. And you are right. He might be doing it to other girls too including your daughter. your letter seemd to me as if you have been defending him. Stop. There is absolutely no excuse to what he has done to you and deep down you know that because of what you feel now. You were just good at hiding it. There are ways to stop this man. you can report to the police or if a counselor. Do it now. This man is sick. I may not know him but I am certain that if he is not stopped a lot of innocent lives will be at stake. Hope this helps.
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Ok...My friend's cousin's girlfriend dont like me for no reason she dont even know me we only talked like once dats it and she told me before that she thinks m cool and everythin and now she dontlike me and it gets me mad because she cant be judging and she dont even know me....Should I stress about it?? Or wat should i do? (link)
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I know it can be frustrating when someone doesn't like you and you absolutely have no idea why. But these things should not be given that much importance. You see, you have not done anything to her. So that means it is not your fault she doesn't like you. She probably is like that to other girls. So, try to forget about her. Just continue what you're doing. So what if she judges you? As long as you're not doing anybody any harm, then let her stew in her misery and get on with your life. There are far more important things to do that to let someone like her ruin your day.
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Well, I have friends at school, though I'm not totally sure who's real & who's fake. I'm very shy and don't make friends easily. I've gone from group-to-group a lot this year and have lost touch with the people I knew had my back. I felt like a 6th wheel sometimes and was bored with them, but I knew they were real. I started hanging around another group, of whom I was only comfortable & really friends with one girl. But, now, the rest of that group is nice one day, then act like they don't know me the next. Finally, the group I sit with now isn't much better. Two of the girls in that group are from the first group I mentioned. One of those girls is switching schools next year...she's also the one I'm closest to. The girls in this group do things on the weekends that I have no knowledge of. They plan things at the table when I'm sitting there and they don't even look my way while they're doing this, so they don't invite me. Then, later in the day, they have the nerve to ask me what I'm doing this weekend. When I saw 'nothing,' they just say 'oh.' So, as you can imagine, I have no contact with the opposite sex. I have a weight problem, but I'm losing weight (50 lbs and counting), so confidence is an iddue. And, lastly, associating/connecting with people is the hardest thing for me to do. I have a hard time laughing at things that I normally find funny because I'm a wreck on the inside. I've dissected this situation & my own mental state along with it multiple times. I just don't know what to do. Sorry for being a black cloud. Any advice...please? (link)
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Getting to know people is not easy for everyone. Because when people open up to you, you reveal yourself to them as well. And that's hard to do sometimes. Some have this ability to get along with everyone they meet but I think most of us are just on the average side. What do you look for in friends? Real friends are hard to find.
There are those whom we call "acquaintances"-people whom we can chat up with but can not really get close to. If you are not sure about the sincerity of some your friends then try to refrain from revealing too much about yourself to them. Sometimes, just standing back and observing them can do so much.
Trusting people can be hard but you have to accept that it is a part of life. And you would have to do it sooner or later. The truth is, if you can't trust people then they won't be able to trust you. So observe and then trust. Tell me how it goes okay? Lots of luck.
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Theres this guy I know,
He's really cute.
I would be supprissed if girls didnt go after him.
When I first saw him, I figgered he was one of those cocky
guys (Most cocky guys are good looking.. lol. ive noticed)
And I didnt Pay much attention to him at all.
Then he always looked at me and When I caught him starring he would look away. He would always try and talk to me and tap my shouler and try to make me laugh.
At first I thought he only acted this way beacuse I was paying no attention to him at all and he didnt like that.
But then he asked for my number and texted me right away.
We even began talking on the phone.. alot.
But Ive notcied, When we hang out with everyone else together he always gives the other girls hugs and things I dont know if he's "flirting" or jokeing around, but he told me he likes me, and I asked about those other girls and he said he likes them only as ffriends..
But how do i know he doesnt say the same thing to them?
Do guys do this to alot of girls or do you think he's telling the truth?
P.s- He one day really wanted to see me, came to my house,
and Held me in his arms while we played video games.. LOL XD
But how do I know he's not just a flirt? (link)
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He likes you. But before you think of the I-Love-You scenes, remember that you have only been together for a short while. So, it will take awhile before that can happen. Are you guys going out officially? I mean has he announced that he's your boyfriend? Because if he did not, then maybe that's the reason why he's very friendly with the other girls. So, the only way that you can clear this up is to ask him nicely not commandingly if you guys are an item. I think Guys and girls do flirt a lot. Guys just do it so openly though. We are subtle. As for knowing if he does the same thing to other girls,well that's where trust comes in. so for now, clear things up with him first. After that we'' see what happens. If you want, you can send me message to my inbox about it. Lots of luck!
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well i know it hasn't been too long since i last asked a for help on Advicenators but i figured since you're the only one whose giving my solid practical advice i'd turn to you... So when i mentioned that i went up to him and asked for random things i was referring to something that happened recently... I went up to him and pretended to need a paper clip and caught him off guard he was surprised being to busy focused on his work... and he smiled and said "i'll give you two instead!" (he works at the campus i go to) i said thank you and walked away... i was thinking of buying a bag or so of paper clips and returning the gesture... but i don't know how to do that... and what to say.... and i don't know if i'd embarrass him and myself in front of all the million people that come and go and linger in front of his desk.. he doesn't look at me when he's with someone... and i could understand because i don't look at him when i am with someone... what should i do????
i know i should be patient but i hate these little interactions which makes you feel good but gets you no where! he's not acting and its making me anxious... i don't feel like i have what it takes to get a man coming my way!! (link)
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Well you are right.. you answered your own question. Just in case you want to know my answer, I agree with you. you might be giving too much attention to this situation when in reality you should not have. it's only making you confused and frustrated. if the guy really likes you, sooner or later he will seek you out even if you are not there anymore. it could be he's just shy or busy or whatever. You have other things to do as you said. so go do them. It doesn't hurt to mingle with other people. You don't have to wait and wait for him. Just let things be. and you'll see everything will be okay. and by the way, i enjoyed answering your questions so thank you too.
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I'm dating a man I've known for several years and always been quitet fond of. We were friends first and are compatible on many levels, and we recently slept together. Afterwards he told me he thought of me more as a "friend with benefits." Meanwhile, I'm in love. To put it simply:
Women: compatibility + attraction = love
Men: compatibility + attraction = FWB
compatibility + attraction + X = love
I don't understand what's missing. What is "X"? (link)
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Sometimes even if we have known a man for a long time, it does not mean everything will go smoothly when he becomes our man. You are in love with him but he thinks of you only as a friend. You can choose. You can stay and wait for him to finally think of you as "someone he loves" or you can let him go and just continue with your friendship minus the sex. Before you choose the first one, ask yourself though, are you willing to wait? what if he never loves you back? You see, whether you stay or not, if he will fall in love with you, he will. Think about this for awhile.
And as for your question, I think-
compatibility + attraction + right person = love.
Best of luck.
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I'm dating this girl at my school. We're very close and such, been dating awhile, exclusive, blah blah blah.
Anyway, I go in late on some days when I don't have class, and I just found this donut place by my house. Would it be too much if I were to show up during snack at school with a donut for her? I don't want to come off as like... overly sweet I guess. So, good idea or no? (link)
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Go for it. Buy her a doughnut and a drink. Do not worry about being overly sweet. Everybody needs it.
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please dont judge me.. but i have a boyfriend and i care about him soooo much. the problem is before we were official i was getting some from this guy i also kinda liked but it would never work for us to date. and we had txt sex pretty often. i went official with my bf but ive still been having some txt sex with the other guy. i feel SOO bad and after trying to stop but getting pulled back in i finally said NO MORE. if i told him hed hate me and dump me and it would break my heart. weve only been dating so far for 2 weeks and we see so much potential i couldnt have that happen. the reason i did is because he and i r pretty conservative and idk the guy would txt me late at night and be all horny and so was i. but now im sitting here crying feeling so awful. what should i do? please help me. and please dont judge. please..it hurts enough. but i kno i dont deserve him. :( (link)
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This is up to you. You have only been with your boyfriend for two weeks. You're still trying to get to know each other and sometimes it will bore you. You said that your bf is pretty conservative. That is actually good on your part. Because it means he's not taking you for granted. Sure, it is frustrating especially when you're in the moment and he pulls away, but in the long run it is actually okay.
If you really care about him, do not expect things all at the same time. The best relationships are not started in one night only. I know that a part of you longs to tell him about your escapade. But if you do, you would only be pouring your guilt to him. I think that would only worsen things because your admission would make you feel better but it would break his heart. It will not do any good.
So, be strong and stop texting the other guy. And when you do that, chalk him up to your list of "Never-agains" and go back to your boyfriend whom you can put to your list of "Forever and Evers" Best of luck!
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I gusse my last question maybe nobody understand what i was saying. sorry if my grammer little wrong. I had hard time in school. I am Hard of hearing and have a disbilties. and reason I say that becouse it help what I am asking for. Okay I say I was 23 years old. when I was 16 I stop growing. Least I think I am still growing. my hormones very Low.. anyway I look maybe 5 year younger then for most 23 years olds out there. okay. Now thing is sometimes it hard find a guy that my age look for girl for my age not a girl that is younger think i am 14 or 16. i know i not go for a guy like that. okay. now here what i am saying. let say i go to the beach or anywhere i see a guy i think its cute and wonder what his age is. hopley over 18 you know? it hard to tell sometimes is it? plus i know some guys are muture and look for muture girl. i am muture and i kinda have hard time showing it. I do wear make up and i do dress up like any 23 year old. ok here my link to my myspace you see pic. www.myspace.com/flyingshinystar
tips I like is when i talk to a guy what i need to watch for? and how i sound like i am 23? thing is i have vocie is sound like young kid lol. well not kid but i kinda talk out my nose little bit from my cleft palted. i really like hear more from the guys. thanks i hope this explain it more then my last message!
if this don't work then i think another way to explain what i am saying. (link)
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When people think you're younger than you look is not that bad. Because in the long run, you will be thankful that you look younger. Maturity does not depend on how old you are. Some people I know are not yet fully matured even when they are in their 40's already. People will know if you are matured already not by the things you do but by simply talking to you. When you talk to guys, it won't be a problem if you let them know your age. Just do it subtly though. You can always ask a guy his age.
And as for height, if you live where it snows, buy boots that have high heels. Always buy shoes that have high heels. It does not have to be too high, just 2 or 3 inches will do. Don't wear too much make-up just to look older. It might just end up making you look as if you're trying too hard. Most of the time, less make-up makes a whole lot of difference. Best of luck.
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So i have been dating this guy for about two weeks now...
And things have been soo amazing, i don't think i could ask for anything better then having him in my life right now. But before we started going out, this girl told him that she wanted to meet up with him and hook up. He told me she was being all flirty and then he asked me if i would be comfortable with it because we have been talking so much...
I told him ofcoarse i wouldn't be comfortable with it but we werent going out so he could do whatever he wants. He chose not to go because he said he cared about me too much to loose me. Then about 3 weeks later he asked me to be his girlfriend. Things are going fine until i see his facebook status 'Cant get this out of my mind, and i know it wont be worth it and ill screw things up but something tells me to go for it...'
So were in the mall together and he tells me this same girl has told him that if things dont work out with 'that girl' that she'll always be here. He told me he said 'alrite cool'.
The he told me she was a giant creeper and started making fun of her...
I dont know what that means but i am really worried he's gonna dump me for her.
Is there anything i could do? (link)
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Your boyfriend's attitude can mean a lot of things. It may be that he is comfortable talking to you about "the girl". Or he's just trying to see what your reaction would be. Unfortunately, it could also mean he's preparing you because he wants out of the relationship. The reason why I can not determine what he really meant by doing it is because you have only known the guy for two weeks. So basically you don't really know him that well. My advice to you is, just stand back. Observe him when you're together. Listen to what he says. does he talk about "her" all the time? Does he pay attention to you? Does he go out of his way just to see you or is he still in touch with "her"? when you do this, then you will know what to do. Whether to stay with him or to let him go.
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so, i had sex for the first time ever last month and i thought the person that i had it with would be with me forever.. but he broke up with me, and now we don't talk. do you think i was a booty call? it hurts cuz it was special to me, ya know? what do i do? i'm so heartbroken, i don't know what to do. (link)
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I know he was special to you and he should not have done that. But it already happened and there is nothing you can do to change that. What you can and need to do now is to move on. Relationships always will bring joy and pain. Nothing is perfect in this world. What needs to be done is to savor the good and move past the bad. This may not seem easy right now, but you will get over him. Wounds, whether emotional or physical, no matter how deep will always fight to heal. And when you are older, you will remember this stupid, insensitive guy who once broke your heart but didn't crush your soul. And you will realize, you are so much better without him. Good luck.
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i dont understand people.
how come people always come to me to borrow or use something?
like, someone once said, "oh i would ask so-and-so but so-and-so is too nice."
its not like i know the person any less than so-and-so unless the borrower just felt more comfortable with me? or doesnt care about.. i dunno.
i dont get it. what are your principles when it comes to borrowing other people's stuff? (link)
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I think the reason why people borrow so much from you is because they see you as someone who is always prepared for anything. Someone they can always depend on. That is a plus because it adds so much to your character but of course it can be tiresome also because you would always have people coming to you for help. This is not really a problem though. I know it is hard to say no especially to people you are close to, but you can say it. Just do it nicely. Try saying things like, " I'm sorry I know you need this thing but I'm still using it at the moment." I don't borrow stuff from other people except from my sister because she has the coolest things. I get embarrassed because they might think I'm needy or something. Hope this helps.
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French exchange students have been staying at my school this week, and, of course, I am having a bit of a "thing" with a French boy. However, today he told me some long story about him falling in love with an American exchange student for a week when she came to France last year. So he gives me some bullshit about how he does not want to go back to France and miss me. Is there any possible way I can get him to change his mind? (link)
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I wish I could say one magical thing you could do to make him stay. Unfortunately, I think you're expecting too much of him. He has his life in France. I know you might feel your situation with him is like those we see in movies. But in reality, it is quite hard to leave your life behind. Try to enjoy his company for now. If he stays with you (it may be unlikely but never impossible), then you're one of the luckiest girls I know, but if he does not, let him go and savor the good memories you've had with him.
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Hi there! I've been doing sit-ups for about...oh i'd say 2 weeks without changing my diet at all. I see a bit of difference in my upper abs, but what I really notice is the fact that when I eat, my stomach doesn't become large and bloated with food, but instead stays normal, which I'd say is a sign something's going on in there haha. If I keep doing what I'm doing and cut out the carbs I'm eating, will I see further results in terms of actually seeing the muscles in my lower abs? THANKS! (link)
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Having and keeping your stomach flat does take exercise and right diet. Of course, with exercise, you need to be focused and patient. If you're a teenager, you might see further changes in a month. But if you're older, it might take time. To be successful, try to think of this as long term. So that you will not get bored with waiting for the results to appear. And yes cutting out on carbohydrates does help but do not remove it entirely from your diet okay? You still need it so you can function properly in your daily activities. Hope this helps.
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Alright. This might seem like a strange scenario. I was at my friend's cottage with 11 other friends last week over March Break. So there was needless to say drinking involved. During the first two nights i could catch the feeling that my long time friend Kurt was hitting on me, and I liked it. So we flirted back and forth. Well the third night we ened up making out then doing stuff (fingering,blow job) but again we were both drunk. Then the night after that we again did those things (for lack of condoms) and he ened up coming in in a few hours later to say goodnight and ending up sleeping in my bed. And we did things again the 3rd night, this time we were both sober (well me more or less) and we decided we'd be sex buddies.
Since we got back we haven't really spoken, I know my reason is because I'm nervous. But he did add me on msn which I saw as a symbol to mean that he wants to talk.
So my question is, should I be trying to get him alone and talk to him or will that be coming on too strong. Or just forget and chalk in up to a fling? (even though I don't want a relationship, just more flings.) (link)
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Do you really want him just for the sex alone? Because it seems to me you're worrying too much about him for it to be only a fling. You see, if you continue this, you might just fall for him since you have been friends for a long time. If you are ready to take the risk, then go for him. But if you are not, then let him go and just continue to be his friend.
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15/f
I have never made out with a guy before and i really want to. The thing is, i dont know how.
I know that me and my boyrfriend will be using tounge but what do you do? Do you start out as a regular kiss? Then do i put my tongue in his mouth first or him? What do i do when he puts his tongue in my mouth? I need steps please. I need to know exactly how to do it and what i do with my tongue and when he puts his tongue in my mouth. What do i do? Please help. (link)
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Do not worry about the kissing. Your boyfriend will know what to do. And you can just follow him. I don't want to be a "killjoy", but be careful okay? You never can know what might happen.
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So I got myself in this guy's radar... he looks i look he smiles i smile. I do things to surprise him all the time (like ask him for something when he least expects it, and savor his reaction and his gaze long after i've walked away) we never had a conversation before, and i don't want to be the one who starts one because i am really shy when it comes to talking (i don't mind flirting though! in a none direct way) I guess he's sort of shy too because all he seems to be doing (AFTER WHAT SEEMED LIKE AGES TO ME!) is walk past raise his brows and smile or sort of wink. at first when i was a little subtler he froze when he saw me and turned around turned back and wasn't too sure of what he's doing... he's getting a bit more confident. but again it took me a while and i had to be constantly around... I don't want to be desperate by being around all the time, but i don't want to disappear and make it look like a i don't care or just messing around... how long is too long to be away? I know if i stay around a lot I'll look desperate... we don't bump into each other anywhere else but here.. and i only go when i have work to do... am I on the right track? (link)
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Why don't you try both? Be around but ignore him and then disappear for a few days. If that does not make him go running after you, then maybe you really have to face the reality that he does not like you as much as you want him to. But if that's the case, don't fret about it. He's only one guy. You have lots and lots of opportunities to meet others. Tell me how it goes alright? Good luck!
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So here's the problem. I'm really conscious of my body and all. But I'm 120 pounds and I'm 4'11! So can anyone give me tips on how to lose weight. Especially in the thighs, hips, waist and abs. Thanks in advance! (link)
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There really is no easy way to lose weight. It takes patience and discipline. Walking can tone your muscles and drinking milk or any liquid (1 glass or more) before mealtime can lessen your appetite. Just make sure that you still eat three times a day. Do not skip meals. Trust me, it will not work. Try eating fruits or 2 slices of bread in between meals. This could also lessen your appetite. Oh and by the way, do you wear shoes with high heels? they can make you look thinner. And can improve you posture.
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I need to write a thank you letter to my best friend and her parents for taking me on vacation with them to their condo in South Beach. What I am writing seems unoriginal and boring. My girlfriend wrote me one when she went away with me and specifically wrote about how she enjoyed watching me eat a South American Pasta Salad everyday and signed it "Salty Soph-Dog," as we called her. I'd like to make my card cute like that, too.
Some details from my trip, we drank a bottle of $300 champagne (I'd like to include include "poppin' champagne"), got pulled off the beach to do a photoshoot for the Cosmo Bikini Bash, ate a lot, ate Kobe beef, tried on 7,000-12,000 dresses, ate Caesar salad for every meal, had a creepy old man tape us dancing, got free $250 bikinis, drank mojitos, and had two hookers try to be our best friends.. Help? (link)
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A letter written sincerely is never boring. You don't have to be Shakespeare to write a beautiful letter. The best letters sometimes are those that were written simply but done from the heart. Why don't you include all these details to your letter? It doesn't have to be itemized. Write it as if you were reminiscing. Just write what you wanted to say and it would be perfect. Hope this helps you.
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