About EricStarr
Hi! My name is Rick (Eric is my middle name) Im an average guy who has been lucky enough to raise 5 wonderful children. 4 girls and a boy, and Im proud how they all turned out. I don't know what, but I must have done something right LOL.
My Hobbies are fitness, sailing, Scuba diving, golf and computers. I'm currently a corporate trainer, training managers in motivational skills and love what I do. I feel Advicenators is and excellent place to share experiences and ideas with others. Im looking forward to sharing with you!
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E-mail: Ericstarr4u@aol.com
Gender: Male
Location: Chicago
Age: 41
Member Since: January 23, 2005
Answers: 78
Last Update: June 27, 2006
Visitors: 10894
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I'm about 5'4" and I weigh 180. Now every night my weight flunctuates and goes anywhere from 174-181. I plan to go gym...which I will start monday but I really need advice on how much weight I need to lose...n how much lbs is healthy to loose in 1 month. I checkd my BMi n it's like I'm obese...n bout 135-140 is the highest normal weight I can have. That's like 40- 50 lbs I want to loose. Now I don't plan on jus losin it in one month cause I'll get bulemic//eatin disorder. I'm planning to stay in the gym for at least 1 years and stuff but I really want to lose the weight in like 3-4 months. How can I achieve this? How much lbs is healthy to lose in 1 month? And is 135-140 my perfect score? (link)
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First of all, You can't always go by Body Mass index. For example it tells me I'm obese, but I have a 29" waist and only 11% body fat. The best way to determine your ideal weight is to monitor your Body fat% A healthy body fat % for a teen female is 18 to 24% To get an Idea of where you stand, here is a simple Body fat calculator. http://www.eskimo.com/~cdickens/FatCalculatorF2.html For more accurate measurements you can get an inexpensive fat measuring caliper.
As others have stated here, Don't try to loose more that 2 to 4 lbs/week. When I'm cutting fat, I try not to loose more that 2 1/2 per week.
If you would like more details or have any specific questions on a nutrition/exercise plan specifically for you, feel free to ask me on my column or email me!
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I need you help guys and girls.
Ok,,, Well the problem is that I don't know what to do next. I can't seem to find the right type of guy. The ones who really like me are the ones im not really interested in. There's one boy who loves me alot. His name is JD. He's ok. He loves me ALOT. I DONT feel the same way about him though. Should I just keep searching for the hotties or settle down in the commitment relationship thing? Im so frustraited that I can find love. HELP! I RATE! ..
U (link)
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You didn't state your age, but Im assuming your a teen. With that assumption, Don't even worry about a committed relationship. You just need to get to know alot of different guys. Think of it as going to a buffet, you taste all different kinds of food befor you know what you like best right?
Take the time to "date" different guys, learn what you like and dislike about each one. Then when it's time to settle down with the "Right" guy you'll know exactly what qualities you want in a man.
Good luck!
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what does get er done mean? (link)
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It's just a tag line that the comedian "Larry the Cable Guy" uses in his bits. Kinda like the Nike slogan "Just do it"
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I'm 5'7, 170ish pounds, and very inactive. I go to school, and then sit at the computer all day.
A few days ago I decided to start a diet, but I don't think I'm doing it right. I calculated that I need about 2300 calories a day, is that right? Or is that how much I consume? How much do I actually need a day?
Today, I consumed a total of 1163 calories. A pound is 3,500 calories. Does this mean that I'm -1137 calories today, meaning I lost half a pound? I'm very confused with everything, but I want to lose weight, and I need to know if I've planned it correctly. I just need to know if I've got it all wrong, and if I do, what can I change? (link)
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Yes your math is correct. But be carefull. If you cut down calories too much your body will try to defend it's self and slow down your metabolism to conserve energy. What you need to do is still eat several meals daily say every 3 to 4 hours, Of about 250 to 300 calories each.
Make sure the meals are about 40% protine, 40% complex carbs (whole wheat breads, Fresh veggies, etc) and 20% good fats.
Good Luck!
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I really want to go on a cruise for vacation, but I have never been on a cruise before. Can someone who has had expirience with many various diffrent cruise lines tell me which ones are best. I would like it to be high end and entertaining but also reasonable priced. Thanks so much! (link)
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It depends on what type of Cruise you are interested in. If you looking for a Hotel on the water, Carnival Cruise line is usually the best Value. If you aren't tied down to a certian date you can usually find great values last minute as lines try to fill up cruises that have empty cabins. If your looking for a real sea adventure
try somting like www.windjammer.com It's a fleet of tall ships and a real sailing experience! But if its your first curise, Id wait on that unless you are sure you have "sea leggs"
One more tip, If you have never been on a cruise, see your doctor and get a prescription for the motion sickness patch, and bring them just in case. Ive seen many new passengers spend the first few days of a trip in the bathroom of their cabin and thats no fun.
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I'm 16/female... Me and My boyfriend have been dating for 2 months, and everything is great and I like him alot but, when we talk on the phone he is always quiet and i'm like if you dont want to talk i will just let you go, and he's always no i'll talk and the continues sitting there quietly... How can I get him to talk or start a conversation that he will talk in, because i like him and all but i'd rather hear him talk than breathe... please help i'll rate high... Thanks in advance... Sorry so long
ALIX (link)
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Good question! One thing to remember is that guys for the most part are not phone talkers.
He doesn't want you to "let him go" off the phone as you put it, because he likes you and feels like he's close to you while on the phone.
Guys at that age for the most part, just havent learned communication skills with a woman yet. If you want him to talk Ask questions. Find some of his "hot buttons" Find what his interests are and asq questions about them. Believe me you get a guy talking about his favorite hobby, sport or whatever and you'll have a hard time shutting him up! Then start telling him about your favorite things and get him to ask questions.
If you need more specifics or have any other questions you know where to find me! Id love to hear how things turn out as well.
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Hey I was wondering, do you guys know any good workout machines? One time i saw this exercize thing on T.V. being advertised and it made you do crunches and it works really good. And i want to know if anyone knows any good machines that help you work out your abs at a reasonable price. Thanks! (link)
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First of all, don't waste your money on all the stuff you see on TV.
There is NO magic diet, NO amazing gismo, or NO miracle pill that will give you the body you seek.
What has worked for me for abs is doing crunches with weights on my ankles and a weight plate on my chest. For starters you can use a heavy book and hold it on your chest with your arms crossed over it. Use a weight heavy enough so you can only do 8 to 10 reps. do this for 3 sets twice one day (morning and evening) then rest them the next day. The rest day is necessary because exercising doesn't build the muscle, it tears them down. What builds the muscle is the repairs that the body makes while resting.
This will build your outer abs. Another exercise you will want to do is called Vacuums. You get on your hands and knees push all the air out of your lungs and suck your stomach in like your trying to touch your belly button to your spine. What this does is build the muscles on then Inside and creates great definition. Arnold Schwartzenegger used this religiously to create amazing definition in his abs.
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13/f I just need a little help, or a lot depending how you look at it! Short Version:I like my best friend more than a friend and it is a SHE! I mean, I used to kid around with her but now whenever we get close i have to back off or I'm afraid I'll do something...stupid. And I'm starting to stare and when she looks at me I have to look away. I've been feeling like this for weeks and I dont think it's fair to her that I'm like this...what should I do? I thought I was normal! (link)
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You are actually very normal. This is not unusual at your age. Your hormones are beginning to change your body, and affect the way you look at a lot of things. So much is happening at once that you could be confusing the emotional close friendship you have for your friend and that type of love, with the type of love that your hormones are starting to desire. It does not mean you are turning into a lesbian.
As far as telling your friend, I would hold off for now. Just take the time to try to understand and separate the emotions you are feeling. You are at a tough age in development emotionally and physically, but you will be fine!
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I'm 15, around 160-170 pounds, and starting a diet. In my diet I plan to eat 1500 calories a day, and burn off 200-300 running daily. I'm also going to eat healthy foods like fruits, and not any junk food. I figured out this will probably help me lose 1-2 pounds a week.
I never really feel like dieting will help me lose weight, because I've been big for so long. Will I be able to lose weight according to my plan? If not, what do you think I should do?
Do you think this is a good idea at my age, and will it cause any problems? (link)
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Actually, that's a pretty good plan, and you should be able to loose the weight you want by following it.
As far as it being a good idea at your age, its a good idea to follow an healthy nutrition and exercise plan at any age!
One thing I would add to this is to eat small meals every 3 to 4 hours. The trick is to eat a little bit often to keep your metabolism going. Another idea is to throw in some muscle toning days with light weights or perhaps sit ups, squats, lunges and push ups. This will keep your muscles burring fat even at rest.
Also, don't expect to see results the first few days. It could take 3 to 4 weeks befor you start to see results as your body adapts to the new healthy lifestyls and starts showing you its appreciation!
I commend you on your desire to maintain a healthy lifestyle. You will be glad you did when you get older!
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my mom has this mole on her stomach, its not that big but its not small. She said its starting to come off. and it turned gray and it looks all cracked and stuff. she has a bandaid on it now. does anyone know what this could be? or if she could die. i heard that if a mole comes off you could die? im not sure im just scared. anything will help.
thank
love Me
i rate good for good answers (link)
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First of all, no it doesn't mean she'd going to die. However, she should see a doctor because A change in a mole can be a warning sign for a type of cancer called malignant melanoma. Which, left untreated can be deadly. My Dad had one 10 years ago that turned out to be malignant melanoma. He went to the doctor, it was removed and treated and hes absolutely fine.
She'll be fine if she sees a doctor now.
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I am 14 years old and female. Recently, I have been so stressed out, depressed, unhappy, eating way more than I used to (it is overeating), and gaining massive amounts of weight (my clothes barely fit any more and that makes me so upset). Plus I am always tiered and sulky. What do you think is wrong with me? What should I do? (link)
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Many people get that way this time of year. Kinda like cabin fever. I don't know how active you are over the winter months, but most people slow down, and the reduced about of sunlight lowers our metabolism causing is to feel more tired, eat more out of boredom, and store weight. One sure fire cure for this is to get more exercise. Exercise raises endorphins, burns fat, and controls appetite. Try just walking, jogging or even some aerobic dancing or anything to get your heart rate up for about 20 min a day. I'm sure you'll have more energy, reduce you appetite (or desire to eat out of boredom) and your clothes will start fitting better within a couple weeks,
Good Luck!
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Iam 16 years old and my math teacher has been really mean to me like she calls me fat and miss piggy and it's really lowering my selfesteem.mrs.Trapnell that's my teachers name asked me how much my mom weighed and she asked me was my sister fat and all kinds of things like that.mrs.Trapnell also made me sit in the counsler's office for 2 hours for something that didn't even happen in her classroom I was stretching and my shirt was kind of short and this boy was next to me and mrs.trapnell saw it and this happened 2 days before she sent me to the counsler's office she said I was showing off my body in front of this boy named carl is this ok for a teacher to do this can I get her in trouble can she get fired.Is this right or is it my fault? (link)
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What your teacher is doing is just plain wrong.
In my opinion she doesn't belong teaching. Period!
Definatly tell your parents, and go to the principal.
As for you, don't let someone like this hurt you emotionally. She is probably a very insecure person herself and putting down others like that makes her feel better about herself in some sick way.
Remember.... Don't ever let someone else's opinion of you become your reality!
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To start off, I guess I should tell you I'm 15 years old. My mom is VERY religious. She goes to church every chance she gets. She is one of the strongest believers God and the bible that I have ever met. I, on the other hand, am confused about all of this. My beliefs in God, the bible, heaven, hell are slim. I've lost alot of faith. It's my age, I guess.. I'm to the point where I need proof and evidence of everything. I can't believe in something over what a book says. I need evidence from scientists. From what I know, there has been no proff of the Bible Days. So my question is this.. How could I tell my mom that I don't believe and that I don't want to go to church every sunday anymore? I NEED to tell her, this is important. But I KNOW that it would COMPLETELY crush her if she ever knew. How could I break the news to her? PLEASE HELP! I rate 10's just for trying. But please give me good, honest answers.
Thank you. (link)
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First of all it's great that you are worried about your moms feelings even though you are confused about your beliefs. I could go on and on about all the proof around you that God does exist, but that's not the advice your looking for. You have to learn that on your own to believe.
Rather than hurt your mom by telling her straight out that you question her belief in God, use this as an opportunity to possibly get some of your questions answered, AND build a closer relationship with her. You could pick a good time, then sit down and say something like. "Mom, you have such strong faith. How do you know in your heart and mind that what you believe is true?" Don't argue or debate with her. ASK questions and listen to the answers. Then explain your feelings, perhaps tell her that you admire her faith, and wish you could have the same faith but your just confused. This will open up real communication without creating an argument about what is and isn't real.
Good luck in your quest!
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I have bought a treadmill, healthy food, and I plan to do exercises. But I still can't get rid of the feeling that no matter what I do, I won't be able to lose weight. I've been fat for so long I just don't feel like this will do anything to help me. I guess what I'm asking is, will it?
Will a half an hour-an hour of going on the treadmill as well as healthier eating help me lose weight? I know that a pound is 3000 calories, and I guess it just seems impossible to me. I'm only 15... please help. (link)
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Yes it will help you loose weight. Plan on loosing only 2 to 3 lbs per week. Any more will cause muscle loss and the yo-yo diet effect.
Exercise every other day,and run the tread mill on the days in between. Eat 5 to six small meals a day of healthy food. about 250 calories each meal. Don't expect results over night, its usually about 3 to 4 weeks till you start to see real results if you stick with it. Your body has to adapt to the fact that you are exercising and have a constant supply of food before it starts to let go of the fat its "saving" for a rainy day so to speak.
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I'm 13 and I've liked this guy for a year now, and I'm beginning to wonder whether I should tell him I like him. I doubt he likes me back in "that way", but I'm 99.99999...% sure that he likes me as a friend. We're good friends. Not like unseparably devoted best friends, but we talk a lot. I'm not sure whether telling him how I feel is a good idea. Can anyone give me their thoughts? (link)
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Just be honest with him. You could say something like. "We've been good friend for a while now, and seem to get along well. I Don't want to ruin our friendship, but I feel there could be something more developing between us. How do you feel?" Then listen, and see what he says. If he says he feels the same way, then you know. If he says he doesn't you can say something like "Thats fine, I just didn't want to feel like I was leading you on in any way" You save face either way and it doesn't have to ruin the friendship at all
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Ok, I know this is a weird question.
I'm just curious, I'm not trying to get a bigger ass, but anyways, if you really exercise your gludius maximus (aka butt muscle), will you get a bigger butt?
I (link)
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No, you will not get a bigger butt. It will tone the muscles. The glutes are large muscles already. Have you ever noticed that Body builders, even the ones with HUGE muscles have relatively small toned glutes?
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hey iam sally iam 15 yrs old 1st i met a 18yrs guy on the net each day i get to love him more and more well so did he.u can say i loved him like hell we had the same felling. i cant let a day go past without talking to him he was my life my soul and everything after that i got rapped by a guy i dont know i told my bf everything he got so mad and worried anyway after that my sister called him and told him she is lying to u and i never thought that even i lie to him in 1 word so when he heard that he stopped talking to me and sending me emails....i miss him alot and i cant spend my life without him and i dont know what to do
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Im sure you really do feel like your in love with this guy you met on the internet but Please be carefull. The internet is a great tool, and you do get to meet and chat with many interesting people. However, one thing about internet relationships is that people tend to make the person that they are talking too "Bigger than Life" so to speak. Its kind of like a fantasy world where the people you talk to become what you want them to be in your mind. This is a difficult concept and causes alot of pain to alot of people.
This may not be what you want to hear, but Please don't let an internet relationship hurt your Real physical relationships in the here and now. Countless good relationships have been ruined because someone "fell in love" with a person on the internet that turned out to be nothing like that person imagined. Have fun but be carefull not to confuse fantasy with reality.
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i'm an embodiment of confusion.
can you be in love with two people at the same time?
i'm so freakin confused, and so damn upset that i just have to be very open here, because i need help..
almost two years ago i got into.. what's it called.. "paper marriage"? or a "marriage contract" or something like that, that i'm "half married", means I’m not living with him yet. yes it happens in some of the muslim countries. i've known my "husband" for 6 years now. he was the one who fell in love with me, i said "yes" for some very stupid reasons, firstly i came to my country after a long time and was not used to the society here, i was living in saudi arabia, and i totally freaked out when he would tell me stuff like "i'll keep following you till you say yes to my proposal..." yeah it was kinda romantic, especially when you're 18 it is. actually judging him objectively i had no reason to say no, he's VERY handsome, we have the same profession now, he's VERY nice in EVERY way, a WONDERFUL guy, kinda guy a girl would dream of having as her life partner. BUT... we have very basic cultural differences, for one thing, secondly, there have been incidences where... i feel... some very basic elements of his personality have shown, which bother me. my basic needs happen to be "deep intellectual, open minded conversations and an awesome brain with a very high IQ". sex and all is secondary for me. i'm very romantic by nature, quite impulsive, restless, and usually so nervous i'm almost neurotic. he's not understanding at all, he has very shallow thinking, he shuts his eyes and ears to questions regarding religion etc.. he's not all that intelligent, though very hard working.. something which i really appreciate. there's not the slightest hint of "philosophy" in his mind and he thinks it's all crap. and he has caused me a LOT of pain many times... things which i can't forget because they really matter to me, they weren't just fights... i recently made a new "friend", (yes i do have guy friends...), this one is DAMN SMART, really, a very bright guy, he's hindu.. he's VERY open minded, he NEVER "tells" me what to do and what not to, he treats me like a "human being", like a "person" before like a woman (which means he gives value to my opinion and doesn't make my ideas a matter of his ego), and we are similar in so many of our weird ways. (by the way, not that i'm trying to act or trying to show off or to praise my own self here, but for some strange reason every person who has ever gotten to know me in my life has told me i'm "different" from other girls.. i think they mean other girls in my society.. don't know.. whatever.. but this other guys says that too.. and i'm so much like HIM that he has fallen in love with me).. the problem is, that i feel "love" for this guy, but also for my husband because we have spent some wonderful times together, and he was the first man in my life, my first love, i lost my virginity to him, and 6 years is a long time.
i NEED someone to tell me, whom i should be with now... i know this sounds stupid, but really i'm so freakin confused, both love me so much, both tell me they would do ANYTHING just to be with me, i love this new guy a lot, can't see him upset, we do have little fights but i love the way he handles them, he's very intelligent and can actually almost read my mind every time. but sometimes i get so depressed thinking about my husband, i've been telling him in the past that we're not made for each other, and it's ok, he can have his time to decide for himself. i think my being "different" is what makes him want me like he does, otherwise he doesn't like anything about me, i'm not religious at all, he hates that, i come from a differnet background, a different culture (of which he knew when he proposed to me and i reminded him again and again to THINK about his decision because it doesn't matter to me where he comes from but to HIM it might) and he's suddenly realizing that he hates my culture (i speak urdu, he speaks pashto etc) though he tries his best to accept me as i am, but he can't, the matter keeps popping up, he thinks MY culture is not honorable like his.. on top of all that, he denies that he hates these things about me, but his actions speak otherwise..........
WHAT DO I DO!!!
my apologies for this being tooooo long.. but i don't know what the heck to do.... i have noone to talk to about this, noone whom i can ask for advice..
(link)
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First, I'm not quiet sure what you mean by half married. If you mean its like a long engagement with your "husband" and you are not actually married yet then you have to go with your heart. Marriage is a serious life commitment and for a marriage to work you have to be best friends as well as lovers.
You made a commitment to the first guy so I can see your confusion, and yes it will be hard on him, and you. But in the end it's your life and future you need to worry about. In the last 6 years you've grown, matured, and learned more about yourself and others. Only You know what qualities you want in a life mate. Use that experience to make the choice that is best for you, not them. Look at it this way, Do you want to have a life based on a decision you made at 18 before you had the experiences and maturity you have now? No one can tell you who to choose that has to come from your heart.
Follow your heart.
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One of my younger friend's boyfriend and her been getting alittle to intimate(touching/using mouth on personal places), and she's only 12! I don't want to tell her parents cause i don't want to get her introuble what should I do? (link)
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It's good to see you are so concerned for your friend. She's lucky to have a friend like you.
At this point if you tell her parents she would see it as breaking her trust. Hold off for the moment and talk to her first. When she brings it up next time say something like "Wanting to experiment is normal, but maybe you should slow down because you don't want to get the reputation of being easy. Guys that age are horomone driven and will say just about anything to get what their body is telling them they want, and most will tell their friends all about it"
With my daughters that was the age I started to sit them down and explain this to them. I told them all the things a guy would tell them to get what they wanted. (I knew because I was there!)
They were prepared when it would happen on a date. It was funny because after their dates they would come home and say "Dad you were right he tried saying this and that.
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okay well for awhile now i've been noticing that everytime i like a guy i seem to like them a lot but once i know they like me i get all happy but then once he asks me out i kinda loss interest in him. like this one kid we'll say george.. well we went out before and then broke up and then went back out a few month after but like before we were going out i really liked him but then we started going out and i was like oh man. i dont know if i really like him anymore.. and then i broke up for him. im not trying to lead people on like i actually do like them its jsut that once we're going out i just stop. then that happened with this other kid we'll say ryan. like we were talking and then he was like i like you a lot and i thought i liked him too but once he like walked away and we were going out i was just like omg. i dont really want to go out with him and then dumped him. but like the thing is if i know the person i like doesnt like me i still like them a lot but once i get my chance with them its like idk bout you anymore? i dont know what this is.. help? pleasee.. sry its long. (link)
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Don't feel bad nothings wrong with you. In fact its probably more like things are "right" with you. Its ok to date different people thats why its called Dating! You'll find different qualities in each person you like, and some you dislike. Then when you find the "one" you'll know.
Just be up front with the guys from the start that you are not ready for a commitment and go out and have fun.
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