Sherry's advice column

askSherry

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: Okey this is the deal, in short my father is really mad at me, lik not teenage-mad but mad as in hasn't-spoken-to-me-in-3-months mad. Won't even look at me. Talk to me or even about me. And don't tell me to communicate with him because in my culture things don't work that way,trust me..you have no idea. Now the thing is, his birthay is coming up..and what do I do? I don't even know if he'll accept a gift from me, and if he does - what do I even give him? And when I give it to him, what do I say? "Happy birthday dad, love you, *hug*, hope you dont feel like killing me anymore" (?) Any advice - PLEASE??
so basically:
question #1) What do I get him?
question #2) How do I act?

By the way, I'm 15 and female. And I have no other family member that I can talk to or that can help me (again, its my culture!) so thank you for advice on how to deal - because I REALLY can not "communicate" so don't suggest that one. And I can't appolgize either. So just "what do I buy?" and "what do I do when I give it to him?"

Thaank you ♥

I completley understand what your going through, I come from a middle eastern family..and the communicating things dont work for us either. So, I think you should get him anything that intrests him. His favorite sport, movie, game, etc. And have a card that just says stuff like "Dad I love you, I hope we can be on good terms" etc. etc. Or you could just write him a long letter, saying happy birthday and then explaining how you feel..I mean dont you miss him? I'm sure you do. He cant abandon you...Your family! Hopefully I helped a little? Good luck.

Q: tomorrow i am gunna babysit my two little cousins. i always babysit, no problem but usually 1 and older... the younngest was just born in jan-february and im not really nervous but i just want to know what im basically gunna have to do. will i have to hold her the whole time or.. i dont know im usually nervous when it comes to really young babies.

All you really need to know is how to change a diaper and feed the baby. Your family will tell you what to do, where everything is etc. You dont need to hold the baby a lot because all they mostly do is sleep. If the baby starts crying, hold it and rock it and in about 5-10 minutes he/she will be fine again. Maybe you can have a friend come over and help you? It'll go by quick if everything goes fine..you might just end up being bored and watching T.V. =) Good luck !

Q: Hey my name is Ashley. Im 15 years old and i've been on the cheerleading squad for 3 years. But this year for tryouts we have to make up a 8 count dance. So i was wondering are there any ideas online possibly that will help me create a dance for cheerleading? Tryouts are next week so i need to put this together.. plezzzz help!!!!

Thanks a bunch!!!!!
Ashley

Dont use the internet to help you, your a cheerleader. You have experience and your thinking that you could never make up an 8 count dance by yourself...but you can.

Put some up-beat cheer music on and be creative.
You can use moves from really old dances from your first year of cheer (if you remember any) into some of the movement, but dont make it look obvious that you took all of the moves.

Use cheer motions that you learned from the years, and just make something cute up.

Just move around to the music and if you like something use it! 8 counts is nothing, it goes by really fast.

Good luck!

Q: I'm 5'4 and about 145-160 lbs. Verrry fat in my opinion but i don't really look THAT bad other than that. I was wondering if it's possible to lose about 25 lbs by August 19th or around there? If so, how. Please be specific on good && bad foods && excersizes (how many, how long, etc.) Also, does anybody know any REALLY good acne creams? Thank you soo much

EDIT: Yes send me something to my inbox anytime!

I lost 25 lbs in four months by doing a low carb diet. Which doesnt require any exercise. If your intrested in knowing more about it, message me.

If you cut out sugary drinks & snacks, you'll actually lose a lot of weight on that alone because sugar is bad. Just read food labels to make sure how much everything is.

Walking everyday for 20 minutes is not that hard but you see equal results as running!

I'm hoping you consider the low carb diet though, it's awesome.

Q: my bestfriend and her boyfriend broke up they have been together for about a year and 2 months or so.. she's really down about it.. what could i do to cheer her up?

Well since she's been with this guy for over a year, I don't think anything will cheer her up. She just needs time to forget about him. But what you can do is be there for her when she needs someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, etc. Instead of her being sad all the time, sitting at home..invite her places. Movies, dinner, whatever. Get her out so she's not crying all the time and so she realizes life will move on. Good luck.

Q: my friend and i are doing a lyrical dance for our talent show which has a 3 minute time limit
i need some opinions on which song we should use
1. Giving it all away- Ashlee Simpson
2. Collapsed- Aly & AJ
3. The first single- the format
4. Black Balloon- Goo Goo Dolls
i think we are leaning more towards 1 & 2 because we wouldn't have to cut them but i just want some feedback on which song people think would be the overall best choice for the talent show keeping in mind that it is lyrical. thank you very much!

I love Ashlee Simpson, especially that song. So I think you should defintley choose number 1. It's a perfect song to do a lyrical dance to....good luck with the dance and everything =)

Q: I was at my friends house awhile ago i live right next to her.. well anyways we was sitting there watchin tv then she said she was going to sleep then she kept looking to see if i was still there when she looked asleep I went home and got on here and now she is on the internet like 2 minutes after i get on..Why won't she just tell me she don't wnat me there.. i mean dang it hurts more worst when she just lies to me..

I hate that too. My little sister lies to her friends when she wants to get off the phone, she goes "My grandma is calling me, I have to go". It's like just tell her! I think maybe your friend wanted you to leave but it kinda sounds rude if someone says "Can you leave?" You know what I mean. But your right, it hurts even more when she lies to you. Just let it go, if it happens again..you can just tell her that you dont care when she wants you to leave.

Hopefully I helped?

Q: Hey guys does anyone no where i can get a job? I'm tired of using my parents money.(well not really lol) but i tired of them say well i buy you everything as an excuse for things Anyone no a good place that will get me cash ? And that isnt too much work.....i'm kinda spoiled not used to working............thx

If your 16 or older, it'll be easy to find a job. You can work as a receptionist at an office, salon, etc.
You can work at a clothing store, ice cream place...theres tons of places you can work at.

If your not 16, it might be harder to find a job because there are child labor laws. You can babysit peoples kids, people in your neighborhood...tutor little kids, or walk peoples dogs or something.

You just need to ask around, go to buisnesses and ask if their hiring anyone.

Good luck.

Q: Hey. I have a couple of questions for myspace, i'm new to it.

1) How do you add a blog entry?
2) How do you add icons from photobucket or pictures to your myspace page, not the area where you upload em'.
3) Know any myspace layout websites? Thanx.
4) Anything else to make my myspace funky . =D

Thank you!! ♥

1) When your signed in, on the top of your page it has stuff that says " Home | Browse | Search " etc, look for the one that says "Blog" and click it.

On the left hand side of the page, go down to where it says "Blog controls", click 'Post New Blog' and your there!

2) You need to have an html code for this. The html code is *img src =photobucket url here*

Replace first * with < and second star with > or it will not work. Replace photobucket url here with the real url of your picture. You can place that html code under about me, or anywhere you'd like.

3) www.pimpwebpage.com . Fill in everything, copy paste code into your about me.

If you need more help, you can always message me !

Q: Okay so this guy who lives next door to me asked me to give him head. Should he wear a condom idk, i'm really new at this

If your really new at this, why are you even doing it? He just asked you? You dont have a relationship with him at all? You shouldent do it until you really know him and your really ready. Just because a guy asks you doesn't mean you should. If you think he'll like you more if you do it, he wont. Sounds to me like he's just using you. Dont lower yourself for him, your better than that!

Q: ok so ...

theres this goth/skater/punk/whatever the freak he is. well for the past few months he has been seriously flirting with me. problem: he and i both know that i already am seeing someone. a while ago we went to this play out in the city. of course i had to sit next to him because we sat near each other on the bus. on the bus he kept looking back and staring into my eyes and stuff like that. then when we got to the play and everyone was settled in their seats, the lights went down. i was watching the play and then i felt him touching me kind of uncomfortably like all over my legs and arms. after a while it was bothering me so i would slap his hand because he was annoying. but then every five minutes or so he would start stroking me. after the thing was over i was like whatever and we left.

now in school he comes to my locker every morning and afternoon even if my bf is standing there (my boyfriend gets pissed off too). also, the guy always wants a hug in the halls and sometimes makes sexual comments online. in 4th period (language arts), he always tries to catch my eye and when he does, he makes very ... innapropriate body language. if you know what i mean =/

he's in my social studies class. i think it's normal for him to act like that to girls because theres another girl he tanterizes in my ss class and even a group of his friends he has who like his behavior at lunch. he likes touching our hair and hes always finding a way to touch someone -- and one time he even licked my hand. but you have to see that most of the times he jokes and plays around. but im not sure. gosh does that even make sense?

he's nice and makes me laugh sometimes but what kind of friendship is this?

what can i say when i just want him to quit it?

This is clearly sexual harassment. Which is illegal. I think next time he does it, tell him to stop or you'll tell the school. Say it seriously, so he knows your not joking around. No school tolerates sexual harassment. I know telling seems childish, but if thats what it takes to get him to stop sexually harassing you and other girls at school then do it. I know he is sorta your friend, but you said it...what kind of friendship is that?

Q: hello. [13/f] first of all - dont say im too young. i dont want that answer. ok so i have been dating this kid for a little bit & we dont go to the same school but we see each other enough to have a good relationship but my mom & dad dont like me hanging out with him without them there ; they are scared im gonna like have sex with him or something & its really annoying. i dont know what i can do to let me do things like go to his house just to hang out or go to the movies or something ; please any advice on what i can do will really help me. thanx in advance ♥

Well, your not young for dating at all. What did you do to make your your parents so overprotective? Nothing right? Yeah, I understand. You should just sit them down, be mature, dont start an argument and tell them that you should be trusted. Tell them that you haven't done anything to make them think that something "bad" will happen. Tell them that if they still don't like the idea, maybe you guys can go with a group of friends so it doesn't seem more like a date. And when your all out -- you and him can get to know eachother more by just talking to eachother and group dates are much more fun anyway. If their still not liking the idea, I'm sorry but there is really nothing you can do. Parents are parents. Sometimes it sucks, I know. But they love you and they dont want anything bad to happen to you...and even if you and I know nothing will happen...Parents still care. When you get older, hopefully they'll be less overprotective. Hopefully I helped =)

Q: I've finally decided to get over my ex girlfriend after being completely devastated over her dumping me for 6 months. I tried being just friends with her, but that didn't work. What made me decide to get over her was the fact she got a new boyfriend. I cut off all contact. I blocked her on my AIM buddylist then deleted her so I wouldn't see the love you for him in her profile, and the i love you's in her aways. I deleted her myspace so I will no longer have to see her picture. It's been 2 weeks with not a single word between us. She's in my gym class and I just stay away from her.

I'm sure she's noticed by now. I do feel so much better now, but I don't want this to be the complete end of us. I don't want us to never talk again, but I'm afraid if we make any contact whatsoever any progress I made will just go to waste, and I'll be missing her again. I'd like for us to someday be friends, but I don't know how long I should wait before I try that or if I even should try. She was a good friend before going out and even for a short time after we broke up. I'm not sure how I should approach this.

Can anyone help?

Congrats on two weeks! No seriously, seems like a short time but it's really not. I think you should wait a year or two before talking to her again. That way, you would have clearly moved on and you just dont have any feelings for her. If you wait less than a year, feelings for her will probably come back just because you havent had the time to fully get over her. All you need is time. A year or two seems like a long time, it is...but get yourself busy with new girls, school, whatever and time will fly. Then after a while you can just drop by and say "Hey, haven't talked to you in a while...how's life?". I totally understand what your going through though. If I ever talked to my ex-obsession, I would be hooked in like one minute just because it hasint been that long. And sometimes old friends never become friends again, thats life. So dont be sad if you arent friends anymore. You might want to be friends with her now, but later on..you might be like "What was I thinking? I'm so over her" =) Good luck, hopefully I helped.

- Sherry

Q: i want to make a shirt for a concert i am going to in a week. i need some helping thinking of cool "logo" or quote to put on it. any ideas?

ps-its a fall out boy/all american rejects/hawthorne heights/from first to last/the hush sound concert if that helps at all

Well how about all over the shirts have random quotes from the bands. Like one of your favorite FOB song, one of your favorite Hawthorne Heights song, etc. etc. And for the logo, what is the tour called? Find out and put it on the front.

" (tour name) is for lovers"

maybe?

Haha I tried to help but awesome choice of bands..they all rock.

Q: i read your answer to the girl wanting to be a secret shopper and you mention that secret shoppers can be 15+, i was wondering how you become one.
thx

All you have to do is go to a buisness, and ask them if they hire secret shoppers. If they do they probably give you an application and they'll call you back, do an interview, etc. etc. It's really simple, just go to any place you want to secret shop at and ask them =)

Good luck.

Q: Ok well the last time i saw him was in january and its now April! ive not seen him so long now he went to hospital and i asked him what hospital he was in and he would not tell me so i guessed and i sent him a get well soon card because he said do not come and visit me then he said hes transfered to another hospital for surgery so i said what hospital i will come and visit you he never told me and it was obvious he never wanted me to see his family like his mum and dad. I had not seen him for a year before i saw him in january but i realised i like him alot in fact i actually thought id fallen for him but since he told me in a text hes ok i thought it was best to leave him alone so ive done so, and ive heard nothing from him not even hello!! It frustrates me that he never contacts me he sits on msn but set to away and im just waiting and waiting for him to say something to me. I mean when i saw him he told me he loves me but if you love someone you usually contact them. Also when i phoned him when he was in hospital as i cared about him he was pretty rude he said don't you think its abit late to be calling me? it was about 10.30 so what im wondering is what shall i do? leave him alone like im doing but not hearing even hello? Thank you in advance for your answers

This guy is the biggest jerk ever.
I'm sorry for talking about your "boyfriend", but this guy obviously doesn't want to hear from you and he's making up excuses and trying to avoid you. I dont know why because I'm not you or him, but just leave him alone and find a better boyfriend. You dont deserve to be treated like that. You need someone that will actually want to spend time talking to you, and hang out with you etc. I'm sorry that he did that to you...but good luck with finding someone else =)

Q: i been with my gf for about 3 months, we talked for about 4 months befor getting together. we only have communication by phone every day since we don't see each other, we only see each other on week-ends. in the 2nd month of our relationship we had sex (she was a virgin). since than we mostly spend our week-ends having sex but week days talking serious of our daily lifes. she says she loves me but i think i been come an obsession for her. what can it be obsession or love?

What makes you think its an obsession? Because she was a virgin, she probably just feels more emotionally attached to you because thats what happens with girls. My guy friend still talks to several girls he slept with (even though their relationship was over years ago) just because these girls first time was with him. I really believe that it's love. But of course, I can't choose what she feels. You can ask her if she loves you, maybe? Obsession is calling you every 2 minutes to find out where you are, what your doing, who your with, being mad at you for stupid reasons. I think you guys have an important relationship. Hopefully I helped.

=)

Q: hey i want to know how to loose some weight i'm 4ft 11 inches and 140lbs.

Hey, well there are a lot of ways you can lose weight.

You can do it the way that everyone knows: Cut your meal portions, no snacks, no sugary drinks. Lots of water. And of course exercise(walking everyday for 30 minutes) And you'll actually lose a lot of weight.

But there is another way, that requires no exercise, but a lot of work on your part. It's called the 'Low Carb Diet' and if you have ever heard of Atkins, South Beach thats basically it. You lose about 5-12 lbs the two weeks and 1-3 lbs a week after that. If you need more info on the diet I suggest you get a "south beach diet" book from the library or go to www.lowcarbcafe.com OR you can send me another message because I did the diet 3 times, and my longest was for four months and I lost a lot.

Good luck and dont go overboard with the diet =)

Q: I have a very unhealthy crush on my coach. He is so gorgeous and awesome and I can't help but like him. He always talks to me and has told me if it wasn't against the rules he would give me hugs. Whenever I'm in class he waves through the window at me and smiles. At lunch we always talk when he's on his way to the gym and he says he misses having me in class. He's only 10 years older than me and I think about him constantly. I've had dreams about him where we get married and stuff like that. I need to get over him. How can I? and is it normal that he acts like that?

He might just think of you as a daughter, or you may be his favorite student. It's not that normal that coaches/teachers have a "special" relationship with their students, but as long as he hasint been forward (the hug thing was a little too much) then what he is doing is okay. My teacher in 7th grade took some girls to Starbucks during lunch and I think he got in trouble for it. So theres a line people shouldent cross, and he hasint crossed it so I think its fine. And about this crush, it will eventually go away. I had a crush on my PE coach in 8th grade and I got over it. You just need to realize hes 10 years older than you, he's your coach, and you need to find someone your own age! Once you find a guy to like at your school, you'll probably forget about the coach as a crush but more like a favorite teacher/coach person. Just give it time. Good luck. =)

Q: Hi, I need help with Appleworks (for Apple computers only).
When you open a painting document, how do you flip the blank page horizontally so you can have more room to paint/draw? Give me instructions please on how to make the document bigger in that way, asap!

On the top, click "Image" then "Flip/Rotate"

If it still doesnt give you a lot of room. Drag out the corner of the paint box and it will get bigger.

Paint doesnt give that much room to paint/draw, I dont even think flipping it helps much.