Just here to help
I don't sugar coat things, I am honest and truthful
Hi,
My name is "Lucy" Of course that isn't my real name.
I answer any questions that come to my in box, However if you don't receive an answer within 2 days more than likely your question has been rejected for a good reason.
I answer anything of the following only;
Relationships/Relationship Abuse/Cheating/Family Issues/Depression/Anxiety/Random Weirdos
NOTE: At times I am brutally honest this is not intended to offend anyone as I am here to give advice. I am straight to the point and I put a finger down on certain questions asked.
- Lucy
Age: 26
Member Since: September 17, 2009
Answers: 575
Last Update: July 24, 2010
Visitors: 32837
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16/f/uk
I'm really interested in this guy. I saw him around college a few times and was very attracted to him, then found myself in a situation where I was with him and a lot of others for an hour. Although we never directly spoke to each, there was a lot of eye contact, secret smiles, eyeing each other up, him watching me etc.
Problem is, he has recently got a girlfriend. Like I said, we've never spoken to each other, & I hardly get the chance to see him.
He goes to the same college as me, I know some people he knows (though not well), from his fb profile I know we have similar taste in music. I've added him on facebook but we havn't spoken.
How can I pursue him? (link)
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If the guy has a girlfriend then I would not do anything he might end up resenting you for, Not only is trying to get his attention asking for drama but the guy is already in a relationship with someone. If the guy is interested in you and is paying attention to you rather than his girlfriend doesn't that tell you that obviously the guy doesn't know how to be committed? Well, I'm not trying to be harsh but the truth is it probably isn't the best idea to get messed up in someone who is already committed to someone else. I can tell you if someone was trying to come on to my boyfriend they sure as hell wouldn't hear the end of it
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19/f
so my boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months now and we're so in love. We trust each other and that's a big deal with us. Except I screwed up...
Today I snooped through his computer and found a lot of upsetting things. Not too serious, no cheating, but I'm still really upset and I feel played. I don't want to talk to him about it, especially because I was in the wrong to snoop. But I can't get over this feeling and he knows something is wrong.
I don't know if I just ruined my relationship bc this is the kind of thing thats hard to get over and I can't look at him the same. But I love him so much, so how do I forget it and move on?
Please help, I'm lost.
P.s. Girls learn from me, DON'T SNOOP. I just wish I never saw any of that :( (link)
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I'm not exactly sure if you should move on only because you really didn't go into details on just how bad it was.
If it was petty stuff, Example: Your boyfriend looking at porn well the hun I hate to too tell ya that really isn't all that great of a reason to think about leaving someone.
On the other hand, If he was sending some love notes online to another person well hey in my mind that is just as bad as cheating, You might want to sit down and have a stern talk about it after all communication is the key to working things out. You stated that you feel played, Ask yourself one question "Just how bad is it" Did he cheat? If so, Dump him. No girl deserves disrespect and betrayal. Looking at porn? Well, I can understand you'd be bothered by it but again talk to him about it. If he chooses to peek at porn over you then again bye bye don't stand for that crap. Sometimes snooping around gets the truth out of people
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so towards the end of january, i was arrested, along with two of my friends, for having a xanax pill on me, two packs of pall malls, and for being out past curfew. (i'm 17, female, by the way.) and so i had to go see a probation officer, and she gave me 6 months probation, with random drug tests. i knew i didn't have anything to worry about with the drug tests, since i don't do drugs. but she only told me what would happen to me if i failed a drug test. i can't remember what she said would happen if i got into trouble with the law again.
so anyways, about a month later, i got caught shoplifting, (dumb, i know. don't lecture me) and got slapped with another citation. so we called the chick, since she said if i did get into trouble again, to let her know within 48 hours of it happening. and we did, and she said she'll need to meet up with me again.
but now its been almost a month and a half and we haven't heard anything from her. i'm getting anxious, and so are my parents. and since i'm going to start driving soon, i'm worried that i'll get pulled over for speeding or something and then they'll see they have a warrent for me and take my happy ass down to juvi. why is she taking so long to call? what do you think will be my punishment, with the law? i'd prefer answers from someone who knows a lot about this type of stuff or has been in this situation before. thanks. and please, no lectures. i've learned from my mistakes and now i just need some answers.
(link)
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I'm not sure if you are just shy of your 18th birthday, but one of the reason she could be stalling is because she has to go through the court to decide punishment. Therefore, I'm not going to lecture you but you are cutting yourself a short rope.
You stated that you will be getting your license soon, You will only get pulled over if you disobey the law. If you drive and don't want to be pulled over then I suggest you not to speed. When you get pulled over sometimes you get a warning or a nice fat fine that will raise your insurance. I don't read minds so I don't know what is going to happen but you better pray that they don't put a time on giving a license to you.
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So I was thinking of going with my friend down to Las Vegas for two nights just to take a road trip and I was wondering if anyone knew of any CHEAP hotels or motels ON THE STRIP preferably and how to get around whilst there? Also, if my friend is 18 we should have no problem buying bus tickets to Las Vegas from Los Angeles right? Also, do I need a credit card to check into the hotel or can I just call them a make a reservation or ask if I can just pay cash when I get there? I'm planning to go this weekend! I will rate. My price range for two days is about 1000 dollars including food, travel, hotel and the bus fare there and back? I know it's not a lot! (link)
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Your best bet is to try the Hardrock Hotel, A friend of mine stayed at one in Florida she said the price was decent and not overly expensive. Depending on the hotel they might even have a restaurant attached to it.
I found a website for one in Las Vegas
http://www.hardrockhotel.com/
1000 can do, If spent wisely. Have a good time ;)
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My boyfriend broke up with me ..2 and a half days ago.The only communication we had was a text he sent me the next morning and i responded and he responded one more time and I didn't write back.He's away on a mini vacation right now but I'm playing my cards right and not texting him and giving him space because that's his reason for breaking up with me.I miss him like crazy and I've never been so depressed ever.He told two of my friends(separately) that he's sad and misses me too.I wrote him a two page letter but I don't know when the right time to give it to him is. I don't know if he plans on talking to me when he gets back and I won't see him until school starts again (in like a week) unless we hangout ..which is doubtful.The letter isn't begging him to take me back..it's actually a letter thanking him for all the fun times we had and saying that I miss him and stuff like that.He has some of his stuff at my house and in my locker at school,so should I slip it in there? or wait for him to talk to me first? How should I do the letter? (link)
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Whoa
A relationship is not a relationship if you only communicate through texting. You need to have verbal communication skills.
Personally, I would not write him a letter not to be harsh here but a letter is sounding desperate. I would approach him in person or call him on the phone and discuss it verbally. Texting all the time is a huge downfall on communication in a relationship.
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18/f
So, I've been with my girlfriend now for 7+ months and my parents found out that they were dating since December or January, but she doesnt seem to like my girlfriend very much, and my girlfriend doesnt like the way she's being treated and it's driving me crazy. My mom wants me to be with a guy, and my girlfriend wants me to be with her. And I want to be with her, but the way she behaves sometimes makes my mom wonder if she really loves me. Butsometimes I think it's because of the way my mom is treating my girlfriend. Today we went to the mall to pick out my prom dress. My mom and I held hands and I guess my girlfriend felt left out, but she was walking ahead of us and I called her twice, but she ignored me the second time. She walked 3 or 4 feet ahead of us, and she didn't hold the door for my mom or me when we walked in and out. When we were picking my dresses, I found my dress which she knew ahead of time that I probably was going to be getting the dress, and she picked a dress that didn't look like it matched mine very well. I didn't say anything about it because I want to see later on which dress she picks, and if she picks one that doesnt match mine, then that would tell me that she really cares only for herself. I really love her, but she's so #@$%^&^. My mom is also wrong for being rude to her too, she spoke vietnamese when we were together so it pretty much excluded her, and i didnt really see that until my girlfriend brought it up. I thought it was cool since she didnt speak english well anyway. My mom also brought up my ex which is a guy, and his name is Andrew which I don't like much and my girlfriend got jealous so she was like "why are you talking about andrew?" and my mom thought that was rude and it's none of her business. >_< I really don't know what to do. I already talked to my mom about her speaking vietnamese in front of her and she yelled at me. They're both pulling me in opposite directions. (link)
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You need to talk to your girlfriend, Tell her that your mother is your mother and she needs to learn to respect that. It sounds like your girlfriend might be acting a little bit immature, There is no reason to be jealous again this is your mother.
I would also sit down with your mother and explain to her that you are happy in the relationship and that you feel it is unfair of her to be stating her opinions and treating your girlfriend badly. You are an adult, You are 18 years old and you are old enough to decide for yourself who you want to be with. Your mother bringing up your ex in front of your girlfriend is rude, Again you are with her and she needs to respect your wishes. If she continues to act this way, Then maybe you and your girlfriend need to take the relationship in a more private way that doesn't always mean having your mother around. Every time your mother brings up her opinions tell her that you don't want to discuss her opinions on the subject and leave it at that.
Again, You are the adult and you are entitled to your happiness. If you want to be with a woman then let it happen, If you want to with a man let it happen. Don't let people decide for you who and who you should not date. You are who you are, Be proud of that. If you don't think your girlfriend and you are not working out then maybe you should talk to her, but don't let others decide for you on what to do.
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15/f
i decided that i am going to go and get a job. i am going to fill out applications tomorrow. well i dont know what to wear when i get an interview. i like forever 21 and american eagle. i was also wondering if i can have links to what i should wear from someplace such as AE and forever 21 please. thanks. (link)
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It's great that you are attempting to get a job, However most places require you to be at least 16 and places that hire folks that young are usually Burger King and fast food restaurants and some fast food places even require age verification. Unless you have working papers you might not be successful in job hunting. I'm not trying to kill your pride but I'm not going to lie to you either...
If you DO have working papers, Then on an interview you want to act and dress appropriate. (No revealing clothing, Baggy Jeans, Ripped or see through)
You want to look good, Professional and you want to look the part, I would recommend some nice shoes, A shirt that is not revealing and doesn't have to much designs or writing all over it. Just a plain shirt with some nice pants. Appearance is important. When someone ask questions during an interview you tell them what they want to hear, Never say "Well....I have a date with my friends for the movie on so and so day..."
EDIT: Just tell them what they want to hear, However make sure it is believable also.
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There is a boy in my phys ed class. He's super shy and very cute. My friend has been talking to him about me, because I like him, and she said he smiles every time they talk about me. So, I got to thinking he might like me too a little. However, I messaged him on facebook and said I really want to talk to him and I would be very happy if he talked to me on Monday but he didn't. I am not going to talk to him because I messaged him on facebook and I feel like the ball is in his court now. He knows I like him so it's his choice where he takes it. It's almost like he's afraid to talk to me or he just doesn't. Am I wrong? Does he not like me? Do you think I'm thinking right for letting him go with it where he wants because I took the first step and messages him? Thanks. (link)
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I honestly can't tell from the little you've described, I personally would of talked to him myself instead of having my friend talk for me. Sometimes when it comes to delivering the message the guy might start to like the friend seeing she is the one talking to him....
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Hey i am a 19/f and for some reason i do get tired a lot. But i've noticed lately i get tired at the same time of the day. I take medicine for ADHD, focalin. And even when it wears out i get tired. But when i don't take it i still get tired the same time of the day like around 1 or 2 in the afternoon. What's wrong with me? I think it has to do with my diet, which consists of fast food, which i've cut down some what. But could there be other reasons possibly? thanks in advanced (link)
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Medications can cause tiredness and drowsiness, If this has been going on for a long period of time I would consult a doctor.
If you are eating unhealthy, Greasy foods, Fried foods, etc. This can also cause tiredness and lack of energy.
What are your sleeping patterns? Do you go to bed at a normal time? Do you wake up at a normal time? If not then you might want to start going to bed earlier and setting your alarm clock.
I don't know to much about you, You didn't give much details but ask yourself if maybe you have signs of depression.
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my boyfriend of nearly two years was a total ass to me ever since i got mad at him when he cheated on me so i eventually broke up with him. its ben over a month and i should be getting better by now.. i was totally over him and fully better i even went on two dates, until i listened to a song my ex did guitar and sang for on recording which i wrote the lyrics, so i broke and cried so hard. i havent written any music since we broke up maybe five weeks ago, which writing was everything to me along with painting. he even still has my three best paintings at his house im to akward about it to ask for them back..
how can i get over him better? i know the usual stuff but what else could i do??
how can i start writing again, it reminds me too much of him and im just at a writers block i dont have a clue where to start??
and what do i do about the paintings, i guess its ok if he keeps them as long as he keeps them safe and not ruins them especially on purpose..? (link)
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A guy that cheats does NOT deserve a second chance, Not only does that mean he is completely capable of lying and disrespecting a woman but taking him back would tell him "Hey it's okay, I forgive you" when it is not okay. If you want your paintings back then I would go over with a friend and say "Hi, I just stopped by because I would really like my paintings back" However, If your paintings were a gift to him then it would be wrong of you to ask for them back even if the relationship is over. Healing takes time and a month is not that long ago, Everyone heals at their own pace. If you like music then write it, If you like painting then paint it. Don't let some asshole keep you from doing what you love. A guy that cheats is a waste of time to begin with, Good for you for leaving him.
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theres a guy i really like and he likes me but whenever he asks me to be his girl i honestly dont know why i refuse. we have been dating for a month but i dont see us as becoming a couple. i dont know why. he is a year younger and his parents are very controlling i havent been on a date without his parents there... its so akward. hes a bit sheltered and iv never ben sheltered even as a kid. what can i do. i want to try it, iv kissed him and when out a bit i just dont know though... any ideas? (link)
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Wow....
Talk about over protective, If you two are dating then technically you two are a couple. If you are not okay with his parents there then try talking to him about how it makes you feel, Maybe he can talk to his parents. I don't really know what to say other than that would probably not only creep me out, but scare me off till the point where I would have no choice but to turn him down? I would have your boyfriend talk to his parents about giving him a little space, Does he have a cell phone? Maybe his parents can keep it to a phone call every 2 hours or something, Having the parents there when you are on a date is not only invasion of privacy but good lord how are you supposed to get to know your boyfriend when you got the folks on your butt?
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f/16
So I've been friends with this guy for three almost four years, I met him because he was my sister's friend in elementary school. Well I started to like him in eighth grade. But then I met this guy in ninth grade and we started dating, we dated fro a year and we recently broke up. And low and behold I started liking this guy again. The other night he wanted to hang and my sister decided to come. Because she doesn't see him much anymore because she dropped out. Well we all hung out it was a big group. Well She let me play with her phone and I read one of her messages. It was from the guy i like saying he really liked her. I felt kind of sad and realized they were cuddling and hugging and he was holding her hand. So i felt bad. So that night when we got home I asked if she liked him and she said no, he isn't her time. I got mad at her because I don't want her leading him on because he was recently hurt. Well we hung out again today and she did the same thing, cuddled with him and held his hand. It makes me angry and I just wish he'd like me, she's just leading him on and it drives me crazy, we're only a year apart and we go to school together and I see him everyday, he's one of my best friends and I don't know what to do. (link)
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To start off, You are very pretty.
However onto the question..
If you had a boyfriend and you recently gone your separate ways then you really can't be too down about your sister liking the same guy as you were in a relationship. Sometimes people don't always admit when they have feelings for someone, This could be the case. IF your sister is leading him on then I can promise you, It will only be a matter of time before this guy realizes that your sister is a waste of his time. If you like the guy then I suggest playing it by ear, You can try talking to your sister and see what she says but again there is no promise that you will get the truth. Maybe she feels it's her business or she could be just playing the field and trying new things. Ask her about it, If she is set on not liking him well then you approach him and you talk to him.
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my friend and i arent going to prom so instead we wanted to do something really fun. we wanted to attend a concert but we couldnt find any that day. so i'm wondering if anyone has a good idea. the day is may 14th and we are willing to go to new york, connecticut, rhode island, massachusetts, or new jersey for whatever activity we do. we dont really want to see a comedian or any sports game. if there is no events going on then can you think of any ideas of what we can do in providence, nyc, or anywhere in connecticut? (we've already been to the wax museum in nyc) (link)
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If you go to Boston I recommend checking out Blue man group, It's not only awesome but I can promise a good time
New York visiting Ellis Island is a must do, Nothing like a site of statue of liberty and ferry ride but many shopping areas as well
Rhode Island has Newport! Historical and many shopping areas, If you can handle the cold then there isn't nothing better than some clam cakes and chowdah at the beach! ;)
Google it up, Find some pictures and attractions. I'm sure you will find something. If I had to pick I would say go with Boston
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about 2 or 3 weeks ago my car started to make a weird noise. at first it sounded like something was dragging on the ground but when i checked, there was nothing hanging. then my mom told me it might be my muffler. so my question is... if i do have a loose muffler is it safe to drive like that? and will it fall off while im driving? if so, can i drive without a muffler? (link)
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No, It is not safe to drive with a muffler that is loose, If it is dragging on the ground it is highly recommend to get it fixed. It's basically asking "Would it be safe if I got in a car accident without wearing my seat belt" No, Of course not.
Yes you can drive without a muffler, but it sure isn't the best idea. Your best bet is to get it fixed if you drive without a muffler you can burn up the valves. Not to mention driving without a muffler is illegal.
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I'm a 15 female and I've been dealing with depression and confusion with my gender its been this way since i was real young i just don't feel, act, or even think like a girl. I'm pansexual meaning I'm gender blind i don't juge people by their genders because of the problem I've been dealing with. I talked to my mom about how I'm feeling but she doesn't take me seriously she only says we can PROBLEY change my name other than that she doesn't bring it up, and I'm to scared of her juging me that i keep quiet its already hard enough for me to open up so i can't turn to anyone for help. I want a sex change but i don't have much money. People tell me not to go through with it cause i might change my mind but i have no doubts and i just want to feel happy sometimes i lay in bed and cry all night just thinking about this. It makes me feel so stupid and i wonder why I'm even here. I don't know what to do anymore. Please can you help. (link)
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You are not the only one to ever have these feelings, However..As hard as it is to deal with it you might need to wait until you are an adult to make the operation choice final. Changing your sex is not only a lifetime commitment but you CAN'T go back and change your mind later down the line. Frankly, I think you should try to work with who you are and except the fact that you are born in your body. Everybody has their own point of views on transgenders but in my mind changing your sex still does not change your real identity. Transgenders surgery is VERY costly, Most surgeries are these days. I am taking a wild guess but I can promise you that if you ever DID attempt to get surgery well it will cost more than $50,000. You not only have the sex surgery but you are looking at plastic surgery, Hormonal pills and god only knows what else. You are born who you are if you want to be more manly like why not cut your hair, Change the way you dress, but the surgery is taking it to the extreme. Everyone is right, You might change your mind. You never know what the future holds, Sometimes when you think your mind is set on something the future says other wise.
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im pretty good friends with a lad in my class and i think i like him a little bit if you know what i mean haha. he does things that makes me think maybe he does like me but im not sure, maybe you guys can help me.
- when hes got his ipod on he always sings arts of the songs to me.
- when ever i look at him across the room hes usually looking at me,a then he smiles or pulls a silly face so that we both laugh.
- he tends to tell me random storys about his life.
- when ever he can he comes an sits as close as possible to me.
but weather hes just doing all these thigs because were friends i dont know, and by the way he doesnt know that i like him as more than a friend. (link)
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Yes it seems pretty obvious that he likes you..
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Can U become pregnant from having anal sex? (link)
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No, You can become pregnant if the penis enters the vagina. There is absolutely no way to get pregnant by having anal sex.
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I haD been dating the same guy for over two years. recently in december we broke it off because we had a terrible thing going. we loved each other more than anything but we fought like crazy. The biggest thing for him was that i danced with another guy on spring break, but the only reason i did is because he broke up with me over facebook, dumb right. anyways we have restarted our relationship and he said we are starting on a new limb, like nothing from the past will get to us etc. But today he brought up that guy that i danced with on spring break and he was talking about it and getting all mad and showing off in front of his friend. Now i really love him more than anything like i could marry this guy and we have something i have never felt and hes the greatest boyfriend, just minus that. what do i do? i want to tell him that he needs to stop talking about that or i cant do it anymore.... I love him so much i just wish this part could change, this is a serious dilemma, i can't lose this again, i would be heart broken (link)
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You dancing with another guy because he broke up with you is certainly not your fault. You two have broken up, For him to hold that against you while you to are in a relationship is just straight up crap.
For one, It is disrespectful one some level of him to go around telling and showing all of his buddies what you did with another guy while you two weren't dating. It's over and done with and this guy needs to move on. Stop dwelling over the past and focus on the future. If he is so hung up on the past and one little thing that you did with someone when you two WEREN'T together well hun he sounds like an immature ass.
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So last night,in a nutshell my boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me.I know it wasn't that long of a time period,but it was the longest relationship I've ever had because I've never had one before! He's never had a serious one like me either. He told me the reason for him breaking up with me is because "he needs space ,he feels like he sees me as a really good friend,and that he doesn't like me as much as he used to" . While we were dating,we were together 24/7 (which i guess was a bad thing). We'd fight on occasion about typical couple fights but never anything too serious.We always were so happy and laughing and doing fun things all the time.He doesn't drive/have a car and I do ,...so i would drive him and his friends around and we'd go so many places all the time and I'd buy him stuff..I basically treated him like a king and I cared to much (which he said I did) .He told me that he "swears to god on the bible ,im the most amazing girl he's ever met" and he said that i'm so cute and whatnot.At first he said he wanted to take just a "break" but then kinda changed his mind. I was sooo blindsighted by this because I had no intentions or had any idea that there was something wrong with our relationship,so our breaking up was completely random.I was so close with his family and friends and they all said " to keep me because im such a good girl" but I just want him back.I did hangout with him and get in his personal space wayyyy to much and when he confronted me about it,we didn't hangout for like one day and then went back to being around eachother all the time.His brother is down from college and he's supposed to go up to the college for a few days (we are on spring break) and then come back and im hoping that's when he will maybe start to miss me.He told me he loved me several times,cried over me in front of my face and was just always there for me so I don't know why this was happening.Do you think maybe soon he'll try and come back? What should I do if he talks to me? (link)
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Okay Hun listen..
When in a relationship, It is never always a good thing to be together ALL the time, We all need our space, and time apart from one another. It is always good to try and go out with your friends while he goes out with his at least 3 times a week for a few hours. If you two don't give each other time to breathe eventually you can get drained and tired of one another. Sometimes being apart is what holds the "spark" in the relationship. Also, NEVER EVER put all your money into a guy! It is the other way around or at least 50/50 he puts half into it and you put half into it that is the fair way to do it. You are NOT his sugar mama, The more you blow your money on him the more he is going to expect it. Do not let him take advantage of you men that take woman for their money are nothing but a worthless piece of crap. Breathe, Tomorrow afternoon try to call him explain to him that you feel spending to much time together was a bad idea and that maybe you two should come up with more boundaries. If he is willing to give it another shot remember you are NOT his sugar mama. This is the one thing many woman do that is a HUGE no no. If he broke up with you because he feels you two "needed space" well your boyfriend needs to learn to communicate. If you want any relationship to work out you two have to express your feelings you don't just pick up the phone and say "Well hey it's over" doesn't work that way. A relationship takes time and effort it certainly isn't easy but if you want to make the commitment to being in a relationship then you need to make the commitment to work it out.
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I went out with my friends, and one guy was dancing with my friend. I didn't know that she was into him- i just thought she was having fun dancing. The same guy approached me later in the night to dance (mostly salsa music, so everyone was dancing), and then, without thinking, I made out with him. Now, I'm concerned my friend is upset at me...well, we don't know each other well, but we did go out. I made some comment about how I couldn't drink the shot that some guys bought all of us, and she said "it's okay, my LOVER drank it for me," she was referring to the same guy. Later in the night as we were saying bye, she seemed nice with me, but I am still concerned that our friendship is at stake, and that she doesn't trust me. What should i do?? (link)
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Well, If you didn't know that she was "into" him then it's really not your fault. If they weren't dating then again it's not your fault. All you can do is wait until she says something to you, Watch her behavior and see if she gives off the cold shoulder like something is bothering her. If so then you approach her and calmly talk to her about how you weren't aware that she had feelings for this guy. She can be mad and upset about it sure, but on the other hand if you didn't know she liked him and they aren't dating well...then she needs to get over herself.
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