(Ask A Question.) (Feedback.) (Discussion Board.) (Make Razhie A Favourite.) (Advicenators.)
Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
Favourite Collumnists.
(WittyUsernameHere.) (karenR.) (NinjaNeer.) (rainbowcherrie.) (DangerNerd.)
The Question
i'm very interested in december 21, 2012 (122112), the supposed apocalypse.
i was curious. some people, who are SO convinced that 122112 will bring nothing claim that december 21, 2012 is simply the end of a cycle and the start of a new one.
well, for all you people, WHY ISN'T THERE A 14TH CYCLE?
also can someone make an organized list of things that might happen on 122112?
i have...
1.) magnetic pole shift
2.) ice age
3.) global warming causing inhabitable conditions
4.) solar storms
5.) increases in flooding, droughts, tornadoes, tsunamis, ETC ETC ETC
The Answer
The three most likely things to take place on 12/21/12:
1.) Nothing.
2.) A shit-load of press and publicity, then nothing.
3.) A whole bunch of panicking, terror threats and celebrities spewing nonsensical theories... and then nothing.
122112 Theories are hoaxes. Total bullshit and fear mongering. This is a nice summary of why pole shifts/Nostradamus/Mayan calendar stories and such are total loads of bullshit:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cB-7DZ426DI
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
is 22,000 dollars a lot? i know its not a million or billion and so on. give me some ideas of what i could get with it other then like clothes and that kinda stuff? thanks. i know strange question.
The Answer
Where I live, you could go to university for two years and not need to work (although you wouldn't have a lot of extra money.)
22,000 is a more then what a person working at a minimum wage job makes in a year.
22,000 could be but into a high interest savings account and become 32,000 easily in ten years. If you are a teenager, that is what I'd do with 22,000 dollars.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I know it's a weird question. But I have a summer assignment that asked me that. But my family hasn't really impact my life. I need some ideas. How have your guys' family impacted your lives?
The Answer
They haven't had an effect on your religion, or lack there of?
They have had absolutely no effect on where you live... what school you go to... if you are a single child or one of many?
Thier jobs and education don't effect your lifestyle in any way?
They have told you absolutely no stories about your ancestors that inspired or intersted you? They didn't take you on any great vacations with them? They weren't present at any cool moments in your life at all? They have never given you any good advice, or suprised you with the way they deal with thier own problems?
My family has done all that and more. I imagine if you put your mind too it, you'll start to find some ways.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I have been in 3 plays in a row at my college. They have all been bit roles with no speaking parts, yet I have put my entire heart and soul into each of them, showing up at every practice, helping in any way I can, and trying to learn what I can under the circumstances, and yet, I just cannot seem to get a big role. I'm not mad at the director, just insanely frustrated with myself. I know a lot of people will say "It has nothing to do with you" or "It's just the directors vision", but after all these plays, I'm doubting that there's more to my getting small roles than the director's "vision"
Any advice??
The Answer
Ask honest opinion of the people you work with.
There is an element of type-casting and an element of nice-guy-ism when it comes to school casting. By that I mean, because they know you'll do the smaller roles without complaint, you might get over looked in favor of someone who will pull a diva routine, all other things considered...
But the best way to discover what factors are at play is to ask around. Some people might feel it's your skill level. Others might think you are more of a 'character actor' rather then a leading lady. You'll only know if you ask.
You might also consider doing some lobbying for a bigger part. If you have a track record and they know you are reliable, it might just be a case of the squeeky wheel getting the grease... so put yourself out there a bit more. Let them know you are really interested in a larger role in a friendly, but very direct, way.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Hi, I had sex for the first time last week and It didnt hurt at all. I felt it, but there was no pain whatsoever. Of course I'm not complaining about this but am I normal? From everyone, I've heard basically the same thing about their first times with sex. THAT IT KILLED, so why was my time different?
The Answer
You are a different person... Your partner is a different person... there is no other explination. There are dozens upon dozens of reasons you didn't experience pain, but it all comes down to you being you, and other people being other people.
The truth is, sex SHOULDN'T hurt, not even the first time. It does, because of lack of experience (and often lubrication).
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Okay, I was dating this guy who I was with for two years (we're not together anymore).
I lost my virginity to him, but honestly I didn't enjoy having sex with him.
I'm trying to make this as clean as possible, because I really don't want to break the rules, but I need help.
Anyway, he would want to do it all the time, but if I said I didn't feel like it, he'd tell me to stop being selfish and that sometimes you have to put your feelings aside for the one you love.
So, sometimes I'd give in, but sometimes I'd keep saying no, and he'd as if he could just "put it in" once so he could go and take care of it himself or something. Sometimes I'd let him, sometimes I wouldn't.
But one time when I did let him, he didn't just do it once, so I told him to stop, and he didn't. So I kept telling him to stop and eventually I was crying and he held my arms down so I couldn't fight him until he came...
Now he's trying to say it wasn't rape because I willingly let him put it in, and he tried to say I liked it, which I swear I didn't. I was crying the whole time.
I know it's probably a stupid question, and I'm not planning on going to the police or anything because it happened about a year ago, I just need to know for my own sake if that would be considered rape or not.
Thanks.
The Answer
It was rape. There is no fine line, or iffyness about it, it was simply rape. He forced sexual contact you didn't consent too. That is rape.
Consent means total agreement, according to law. You didn't totally agree. That makes it non-consensual. That makes it rape.
You can tell him as much if you want too, but he'll probably never admit that he raped you. Who would? So it's probably better you simply never speak to the monster again.
You should tell the police. Rapists have a much higher chance of re-offending if they are not reported and the behavior is doesn’t get addressed by the court and/or a counselor. With this situation, he probably wont be charger and you wont go to court, it's been too long and the evidence is probably week. HOWEVER, your report will be avliable to the police, and any other girl who might be concerned about this guy or his behavoir. You could be saving some other girl the pain and shame you are feelings now by labeling the behavior properly and forcing him to recognize what happened, or least, forcing the law to make note of your complaint against him.
But even if you don’t report it, you should talk to someone about it. It’s not something any person should have to deal with, much less deal with alone. If you live in the states, you can call the Planned Parenthood Rape Counseling Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 any time of day or night.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I'm only 14 and I have this burning desire to have sex with my bf. We almost did have sex once, but then we heard my bf's mom walking up the stairs so we flipped on the TV as soon as she walked in. Now that's all my bf and I are talking about-sex! Will I get pregnant if I do one over-nighter?
The Answer
If you have sex, you can get pregnant.
If you have unprotected sex, it's even more likely that you will get pregnant.
If you don't know that, you aren't ready have sex. You need to do your research, have birthcontrol and/or condoms and take care of your body and understand the consequences.
You don't. Don't have sex.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I'm working my local fair this week, and my boyfriend's mom was there too. She said that I had lice and needed to leave, of course, I did. The thing is that I've had more than four people check my head, I've never noticed anything and neither has anyone else (I've been around A LOT of people). Turns out, I don't have it.
I thought she just made a mistake, but then I found out that she's done this once before to one of her son's girlfriends. And she did it just to get rid of her. Not to mention, I heard that my boyfriend took off and rode rides with his buddy and did all kinds of stuff, knowing that I was very upset. I even chopped my hair cause I was so upset, yet that shows that he didn't care very much.
Should I give his mom the benefit of the doubt? Should I stay with my boyfriend, or is he even worth my time? Is any of this worth my time?
The Answer
First off, seperate your problems.
Problem One: You suspect your boyfriend's mother lied to you to get rid of you.
Problem Two: You think your boyfriend was insenstive.
How to deal with Problem One:
Who told you that 'She's done that before?' because unless it was her son himself, yes, you should give her the benifit of the doubt. However, benifit of the doubt doesn't mean you have to like her or pretend like it never happened. Next time you see her just friendly and clearly announce that she was mistaken, you didn't have lice, and thank her for looking out for you. Feel free to be a little wary of her in the future. She might have been innocently mistaken, or she might be a mega bitch, only time will tell.
How to deal with Problem Two:
Tell him how you feel. Don't accuss him of anything just tell him how you FEEL: "I feel really hurt and sad that I went home you got to keep having fun. I felt like you didn't care that I was really upset and scared." He probably didn't realize what a big deal it was. He deserves the benifit of the doubt too. Tell him how it made you feel and see how he responds. If he blows you off agian... well, then you have a clearer answer.
Only you can answer for yourself if this is all worth your time or not. Whatever you decide, always break up what seems like one big problem into it's smaller componants, that makes it easier to approach.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I work for a man and I also help his mother out with caregiving duties. I went in to ask him 2 quick questions about his mother. I also handed him the bill for my services. I told him that I knew he was busy and would keep it short. After handing him the statment and another paper he had requested he just got up and walked out and left me standing there. I needed to ask one more question but when I approached him again when he came back, he veered off and avoided me. I told him I would come back later and when I did before leaving for the night. He wouldn't even look at me or talk to me, just waved me off with this look of pure anger on his face. I was hurt and angery myself but didn't say one word, just left.
Later I told him on a voice message, please just leave my check on the desk and that I would pick it up and he wouldn't have to talk to me even and that I wouldn't other him for the rest of the week. So now what? He has not said one word and I haven't seen him in a week as I have been out of the office with other things. This is not the first time he has been rude, but this is the worst.
The Answer
It doesn't matter.
Seriously. It doesn't. It would nicer if he was polite, however, him being rude doesn't change the professional manner in which you should respond to an employer.
I'm not saying you weren't professional, but part of being professional is shrugging off other people's behavior and maintaining a professional level of detachment.
Part of being professional, is not caring so much and not getting offended.
You really have no idea who this man is, or what his problem is. It's not even your place to know. If you had another question that was important to have answered in order for you to your job, you should have included in your message or followed him with a friendly but firm ‘I’m sorry to disturb you, but this is very important.’
Don’t let yourself get so personally involved in whatever this man’s bullshit is. It’s not your problem. Your problem is only if you don’t get what you need from him. Although it would be nice if he were polite, you don’t NEED polite. You do NEED the information. So be aggressive in seeking the information that you, as a professional, require, and be patient and tolerant of his bad behavior without letting it affect you, as a professional.
There will always be rude people, but you can't let them get too on the job. You just have to do your job, as well as you can, and ignore them.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Alrighty, I live in Ontario, Canada and I am looking to move out when I turn 16.My parents' said if they knew where I was moving, and I could afford it, I could move.I would rather not hear about the benifits of staying at home.I know I know, I've heard it.So basicly, I'm thinking about what kind of place to move into, maybe rent a room in a house, an apartment...or something.Also, I'd like some ideas of places to look for jobs.I am in high school and plan to graduate and move into a skilled trade.Anyone have any personal experiances ? Anything would be appreciated :)
The Answer
Although it is legal, at the age of 16 to sign a lease in Ontario, I think it's important to realize that pretty much no landlord will want a sixteen year old tenant. Too high risk. You will need someone else to sign, or co-sign your lease. Large appartment complexes wont look twice at you as you will have no substantial savings to prove your viabilty as a tenant, and smaller private renters would be insecure about renting to you.
So, you better be clear with your parents that you'll need them to co-sign your lease. Or else, move into a shared appartment where someone else has signed a lease.
Depending on where you live in Ontario, you probably wont find a room for much less then $300 dollars a month. In some less popluated areas you might get away with $200 or such. (Your own appartment would be $350 and up, even in some cheeper areas.) You will likely need about $200 a month in addition to that for groceries and tolietries, and then it would nice to have another $100 at least for entertainment, school supplies and clothing.
So, it's fair to say you will need to be making at least $500 a month... Since you are only sixteen, it's unlikely, although not impossible, that your first job wont pay you much more then $8 dollars an hour. That means you'll need to work an average of about 18 hours a week (don't forgot to factor the taxes you'll pay on your wages... yes you'll get most tax you pay back eventually, but it will get deducted from your paycheck automatically and you wont get it back till the end of the fiscal year.)
So you're average week will be 25-30 hours in classes, assuming you might have a spare, plus 15-20 hours of work. You are looking at a full 40-50 hour work week, plus homework, plus transportation to and from work and school, and hopefully plus some time to hang out with friends...
I'm not trying to talk you out of this hun, but there you go, my quick and dirty look at what it was like for me when I moved out. It's not easy. It was not easy when I was 21, it will be even less easy at 16 and attending highschool. You'll probably need your parents finacial and legal support, as well as thier permission.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
We all heard that cell phones can be dangerous for people who talk with the phone next to their ear all day. Is there any other ways to reduce the risk? My phone has a SAR under 1.0. I started just using speaker phone. Any other ideas? I know tons of people, and I have a very long time ago, that used to sleep with their phones under their pillows. Obviously that's something you shouldn't do. Anything else? Is texting as dangerous as phone calls? If I text a lot and restrict calls, will that help? Any ideas? Thanks!
The Answer
There is no conclusive evidence that cell phones cause cancer.
Quotes from John E. Moulder, PhD, Professor of Radiation Oncology
http://healthlink.mcw.edu/article/950308896.html
Dr. Moulder said: "The epidemiological evidence for an association between radiofrequency radiation and cancer is weak and inconsistent, the laboratory studies generally do not suggest that cell phone radiation has genotoxic or epigenetic activity, and the connection between a cell phone's radiofrequency radiation and cancer appears to be physically implausible."
Quoted from the The American Cancer Society
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/PED/content/PED_1_3X_Cellular_Phones.asp
"... none of the studies showed a "dose-response relationship" -- a tendency for the risk of brain cancer to increase with increasing cell phone use, which would be expected if cell phone use caused brain cancer."
Quoted from the FDA's Cell phone facts: Consumer information on mobile phones, 2003:
"Three large epidemiology studies have been published since December 2000. Between them, the studies investigated any possible association between the use of wireless phones and primary brain cancer, glioma, meningioma, or acoustic neuroma, tumors of the brain or salivary gland, leukemia, or other cancers. None of the studies demonstrated the existence of any harmful health effects from wireless phone RF exposures. However, none of the studies can answer questions about long-term exposures, since the average period of phone use in these studies was around three years."
Time and research might prove me wrong, but for the time being I'm calling the 'Cell Phone Causes Cancer' fear mongering, not scientific fact.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Im a girl. Ive been with my boyfriend almost nine months. We are really close and a good sized part of our relationship is sexual and we like to try new things and experiment...
The last week or so he's been having problems keeping his manhood hard during sex. Theres no problem if i give him a handjob or oral; it stays perfectly hard but once we start having sex it gets soft after like fourty seconds. its really dissapointing.
i confronted him about it and he said hes been tired lately from working out and that lately durring sex he's been thinking about it getting soft and he thinks about it so much it just gets soft.
is there anything i can do to make it so he stays hard the whole time? im open to anything.
The Answer
Have you thought about having less sex?
The most likely explination for this, is that he really is tired, but feels obligated to have the same ammount of sex with you as before. Even men get less interested in sex when they are exhausted and stressed out. If he has a lot of other things on his plate right now, he might just honestly not be that into sex with anyone right now.
This is something you can't 'confront' a guy about. You'll never get an honest answer that way.
Ask about the issue in a friendly way. Stress that you are worried about him, not judging him. Ask him if his masturbation habits have changed. Ask him if there is anything else he'd like to try. ASK HIM if he just wants to snuggle for a while.
Yes, even guys just want to snuggle sometimes.
There is no sure fire way to keep him hard. Just be open and listen to what he wants. Sometimes all that effort and expectation only makes things worse.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
ok i am here to vent about my personal frustration. i am frustrated over about what my mom told me about people at her work that disrespects her. and it makes her go crazy and it is affecting our relationship. right now i think those people must be really crazy to tick her off like that. she said she cant really move into a different job yet though. so what can i really do. ok on this one i want adult advicenators to answer as well.
The Answer
Frankly, you aren't specific enough in this question for me to know how to respond.
There is a huge difference between, say, playfully criticing her, belittling her, or disrespecting her religion or race... each of those issues would require a very different response.
I will tell you this though, this is a grown up problem. It's not one you can solve for her or correct. The best thing you can do is listen and support her plans for dealing with it. You don't know or understand all the pressures she has to face, it's best if you don't try to pretend you do. What your mother will apperciate most from you, even more then you advice, is just a place to go and vent her personal frustration. I bet if she feels free to talk about the troubles at work, the stress wont effect your relationship quite as much.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
o.k. i hate it when at the mall or stores the sales person always ask me if i need help and they talk to me like they know me. i dont want to be rude so i say no but it seem like they only do it to make you spend more money. and that makes me mad. would anyone angry that is annoying and what would you do to like put an end to it.
The Answer
No, I wouldn't put an end to it.
Yes, it can be annoying.
If you find staff at one praticular place are too agressive, call the manager and tell them so. But as a general rule, retail workers WILL walk up to you and ask if you need help. The reason being, a lot of people do! I'm sure you've had moments, where yes, help would be handy.
You don't need to be rude. A polite 'No.' is completely acceptable. I promise you, you aren't crushing all thier dreams and aspirations when you say no. They don't give a damn if you need help or not. Very, VERY few places work on commission. The sales people don't give a damn if you need thier help or not.
Besides that, having worked retail myself, you don't walk up to every costumer thinking 'I'm going to make this person buy shit!' you walk up thinking 'I want to be good at my job and friendly, so I will say hi and ask if they need something...' or even more often 'I'm bored shitless! Maybe that person can give me something to do!'.
By and large, sales people are not slimy or out to get you. They have a job and they simply do it. There are a few exceptions to that of course, but as a general rule it stands.
Frankly, I think a little more tolerance on your side would go a long way. If you have a praticular store you go into where you find them overly agressive, complain. But if this just annoys you in every shop you go into, you need to get over it, because nothing you do will stop the behavoir. It is what those people are hired for. It works. Most people consider it part of a plesant shopping experience. If you don't, just say no and move on.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
So I've known this guy for 2 years, And he started to have a hatred for me, because I was kind of a whore in 8th grade when he was in 10th grade. I went out with a lot of people. And he still didn't like me till I got into high school, and then finally I started to date one of his good friends and he still talked shit about me and didn't like me, and didn't like what I stood for and all that shit. He said I was annoying and didn't like me.
So this happened, : I always was interested in him from the first time I met him, I thought he was just amazing. So randomly this summer, a couple days ago, I'm going to be a junior and he's already graduated. I got his number from a friend and texted him randomly and told him I'm "Natasha" even though my name is Jacky. And he didn't even know that. I sent him pictures of me over texts and he said I was cute as hell and stuff like that, and he didn't know it was me Jacky. He thought I was Natasha. So we started talking on the phone and texting a lot, and getting to know each other a bit better. And he says he's interested in me and so am I.
So we hang out this one day at midnight. I come to his house and he's all smiling and shit when he sees me. We get in his friends car and we're sitting in the back talking and shit, and we get really high. It was a lot of fun and he starts making out with me and we're driving around. He still doesn't know I'm Jacky, the girl he hates, he thinks I'm Natasha. So we cruise around town, and then we get back to his house.
We have sex. It was really amazing. We were so high and it was so good and he was so amazing. He still thinks I'm Natasha. But I'm not. I told him I'm Natasha because I thought if I told him who I really was, he'd reject me. So I'm playing this little game with him, it might not be mature, but it's actually kind of smart.
So later on, he finds out from a friend that I'm Jacky. And he says that he knew I was. And now I don't know what's going on, if he's interested in me still or what's going on. I'm really confused, and I don't know what to do, or if I should talk to him or not. I still really like him and I want to date him. What should I do? What's going on? Please help me.
The Answer
You better call him up and ASK him.
We can't read his mind. We can't tell you how he feels about you lying to him and misleading him.
He might think it was cute and flattering.
Or he might think it's just the damn Jacky behaving badly agian.
Call him up, and start with an apology. See where things go from there.
(And frankly, not only is this not mature, it's not very smart either. Lying to people you are fucking, will always be fundementally 'Not Smart' for a million reasons I'm sure you can think of yourself.)
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
14/m
should i use a penis pump????my penis is only ;ike 6 -7 inches when i have a hard-on/erecr
The Answer
NO.
You shouldn't use a penis pump because they don't work.
Pumps are meant for men who have trouble getting an erection. They DO NOT MAKE YOUR PENIS LARGER.
Your penis does not have muscles like your arm that can be 'grown' or developed. It's mostly a bunch of soft tissue with blood running through it. A penis pump can, at best, drawn some extra blood into the penis causing a larger erection for a few minutes, but nothing long-term or permenant.
It CAN lead to permenant damage, scaring, ruptured blood vessels and trouble getting an erection.
Men have been looking for ways to enlarge the penis for CENTURIES. I promise you, if there was a way that actually worked it would not be a secret and EVERYONE would do it, and all guys would be running around with foot-long dongs. Guys aren't, because nothing can increase the size of spongey tissue. Drawing a little bit of extra blood into the penis is just making it swell up. It wont make you bigger in the long run.
Besides that, 6-7 inches is above average. Love your penis. You only get one. Don't abuse it.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Hi Razhie,
I'm asking you this because I reckon you're one of the best on this kind of stuff, and as what I'm just about to talk about is a very serious matter, I am wholly disinclined to listen to a whole bunch of well meant but poorly spelled and poorly thought out advice. Ergo, no public posting.
I'm afraid that my queston will be quite long, as it has a bit of back story. I am 25/f, and have for the bast eleven months been in what I thought was the happiest relationship of my life(also the longest). I have a history of difficult relationships(some of which bordered on the abusive though I was no saint either) and when I met my current boyfriend, I fet an instant connection. We have such a good relationship, we really love each other, i think. But now I have doubts. I am someone who has terrible body image issues, I feel fat even ( I'm size 6-8 U.S.) Even though I know rationally that I'm not. My boyfiend aways tells me he loves my body, and has gone shopping for clothes with me.
Here comes the part which hurts me so much, I can barely write it. This last weekend, we were at a wedding, which involved long train journeys at either end. On both the journeys, I am almost sure that I saw my boyfriend looking at the legs of two thin young girls. Now he has never done anything like this before, not so uch as looked at another woman, and says he does not like very skinny women(I always believed him). But now? You notice I said ALMOST sure. Almost, not quite. I noticed these girls myself, so it is possible that he followed my glance. I am was also feeling so paranoid about my appearance that I was perhaps imagining things. I didn't notice anything like that at the wedding (which I actually quite enjoyed). I would have forgotten the girl on the first train, had it not been for the one on the return journey. What shall I do? I'm so upset, I can't think. I can't bear to look at photos of the two of us. This person whom I loved and trusted might be unworthy of my trust(Liking young girls is a DEALBREAKER). Of course, you can't tell me what to do. I just feel the need to share-also, you might share thoughts on whether paranoia might make me imagine something that simply wasn't there.
The Answer
I can’t tell you what to do. But I can tell you exactly what I think you should do:
Get yourself into therapy and talk this over with a therapist or counselor who has experience with people who have deep insecurities and body image issues.
You are not even sure he WAS looking at them, but if he was, who are to you to assume that this otherwise great guy wasn’t thinking ‘Man that girl needs to gain a few.’ Or ‘Whose mother let’s them out that way?!’
Your assumption, that what you aren’t even sure you saw, was sexual in nature is not only unfair to him and tortuous to yourself, it means you need therapy to get your negative thinking and paranoia under control.
When someone has given you NO REASON to assume the worst and when you care and respect that person, you owe it them to assume the best. To assume, that even if he was looking, he was probably just making an honest aesthetic judgment, not some sexual perversion. After 11 months of a healthy relationship, don’t you feel you owe him that much?
You should seriously ask yourself why you are in such a rush to sabotage your relationship?
Now, I’m not sure what you meant by ‘young girls’, however, lets say for a second they were old enough not to be jail bait. If a passing gaze, so short you aren’t even certain it happened, at two attractive young women is a deal breaker for you, then you are going to have a damn hard time finding someone to love. We are visual animals. We get distracted by the physicality of those around us. Notice, I didn’t say sexuality. I said physicality. We all have bodies. We are all aware of one another’s bodies. Only sociopaths separate the body from the person when they look at the world.
So, tattoos, physical disabilities, piercing, skin colour, wild hair and yes, short skirts and tight pants, attract our attention. As young children we are taught not to stare, but you can’t unteach what is a hard fact about humanity: Our eyes are our primary sense. We are distracted by the visual aesthetic. It’s not necessarily sexual, but it does happen. Women and men both get distracted by the physicality of those around us. Blind men get distracted by odd or pleasant voices!
We watch television and movies for Christ’s sake. The very best of us, and our brothers and lovers and boyfriends and even fathers, look at women like Angelina Jolie and think ‘Man she’s gorgeous.’
That isn’t a threat to their loves or their wives or their daughters… That is just an aesthetic appraisal. It’s not drastically different then saying a sunset in gorgeous. We are just so insecure as a society when it comes to sex and our bodies, we treat it as though it is.
This incident shouldn’t have the power to make this unhappy. You aren’t mentally sound if it does and you need more then anyone online can offer you. You need talk therapy, badly. If you keep this up you might loose a good man and if he isn’t a good man, you might not have a solid enough connection with reality to notice and be sure of yourself. You are definately going to loose so much happiness that you could otherwise have.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Female 21.
I moved in oct to fl. I made friends fast and had been flirting with this guy for months. Finally I had to move and moved into a house with my new friends two brothers and ones girlfriend and two other guys. The brother(21) without a GF is the guy i had been flirting with for months. We finally hooked up (no drinking involved) He said he didnt want to date anyone but wanted to try new things since he never had a gf he was pretty innocent with alot of things and that was fun to me. I was ok with this. Then every now and then we would have sex(no drinking), months later he started having this other girl come over and hooked up with her. Since it was bothering me i new i was getting attached. So we disscussed this and i stated no more sex.He didnt really want to stop but he didnt want a commitment. It was fun but now it was over. Well now everytime i get drunk and come home from the bar i brush my teeth and he comes into our bathroom and i end up having sex then going to my room. Hes not nice he dosnt want me to sleep in his bed even though the other girls do. Sometimes i dont even remeber. But my roomies tell me they told me not to.Now I cant figure out how to stop having sex with him. I tell him i dont want to and i tell everyone in the house not to let me. but when i drink i come on to him and he dosent tell me no. Any advice?
The Answer
Stop getting so drunk.
Seriously. Stop getting so drunk that you can't seem to control yourself, or that you forget.
Stay at the bar or club, drink a few glasses of water, walk around the block before coming in and lock the door to bathroom even while brushing your teeth.
If you so drunk that you can't manage to think of, or follow through on those ideas, then you are way too drunk. If you can't recall simple tactics like those, then you are drunk enough to posion yourself, or worse.
If you want to continue to drink to excess like that, plan to stay with a friend or at a hotel/motel, move out of this place, or accept that the result of that choice is fucking your roommate.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
One of my friends in 6th grade, when he lived in Texas, said he faked a sickness which I forget and he skipped a whole school year and was home schooled. Don't really know how true it was though, but It was a contagious sickness of some kind...
Anyway, does anyone know any sickness that can work like this? The reason why is sort of personal, but I only want to skip one year of school, and come back the next... Its sort of a long story why...
Any ideas would help. Thanks.
The Answer
I am sorry to be so unhelpful, but I think the only rational idea here is to call Bullshit on your friend.
The idea that an eight year old, or younger, successful duped his parents and doctors for a whole year... I just can't buy that. Eight year olds are not that smart and doctors are not that stupid, but conveniently it happened back in Texas! So there is no way to prove or disprove his claim.
It’s a pretty safe bet that he was either exaggerating, or outright lying.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Hi there. Lately I've been trying to educate myself on animal rights and animal abuse. In general, I think product testing on animals is wrong among other things the PETA site brings up. I've heard that PETA can be pretty radicle though, and I'm trying to get the facts. I'm wondering if PETA might be trying to make a big impact by showing videos on their website of select, severe situations of animal abuse, and not what may really be going on, on an ordinary basis. I hope that makes sense.. It's confusing because I hear different things about the organization being a little koo koo sometimes.
They'll show something EXTREMELY horrible happening to an animal and I'll be shocked, but because of the things I've heard I'm basically wondering if they're just trying to sort of shock viewers into having a certain opinion.
The Answer
No, PETA is no reliable. They behave hypocritically, support immoral and illegal actions, and are generally dangerous extremists.
PETA has been accused in court, and convicted, of lying in several of their advertising campaigns and ordered to cease and desist them. The famously told thousands of school children that milk was unhealthy and that it hurt cows, until the government shut that down for being designed to scare children, and for being factually unsupported. The videos they show of animal testing are sometimes current and have certainly lead to some convictions against testing facilities, but they have also been found in court to be edited in misleading ways, and often interpreted inaccurately (saying things like this monkey is covered in acid… when there is no evidence at all and it’s likely just a bit of water…)
They also love to just shove those videos up on any of their webpages, regardless if those images are relevant to the particular abuse on that page. They want to shock you, and hope you won’t ask serious questions about where the images came from.
PETA supports organizations that demonize the Human Society for the practice of euthanizing animals. However, during 2005, PETA put to death over 90 percent of the animals it collected from members of the public. (The Human Society is estimated to euthanize a bit less then 60% of the animals it takes in.)
PETA spends very little of its money or time actually helping and supporting animals. They are primarily a lobbyist group and create advertising programs and fund other organizations... If you want your money or time to go directly to helping animals, go the Human Society or a local animal rescue.
PETA has contributed tens of thousands of dollars to animal-rights activists who proven criminals. This includes domestic terrorists like the North American Earth Liberation (responsible for bombings and issuing death threats) and the Animal Liberation Front. Campaign coordinator Bruce Friedrich told an animal rights convention in 2001 that “blowing stuff up and smashing windows” is “a great way to bring about animal liberation.”
PETA has created some clever marketing campaigns, but also some that are just plain wrong. The "Are Animals the New Slaves?" marketing ploy featured a display in which images of oppressed minorities, including black slaves, Indians, child laborers, and women, were juxtaposed with those of elephants and slaughtered cows. Probably the most famous PETA fuckup however was the the 2003 Holocaust on your Plate campaign where they took pictures of the Holocaust and images of factory farming. Concentration camp inmates in were shown next to photographs of caged chickens… People were justifiably offended by this, but PETA claims that the life of a single chicken has as much value as the life of person and that there is no moral difference between the Holocaust, and eating meat.
According to PETA, any animal’s life has as much value as any human being. A vice president was once quoted as saying if there was a sinking boat with a dog and a baby on it, he’d save the dog… and that is just a bit off. It’s a nice and good idea that animal’s lives are very valuable, and PETA has certainly managed a bit of good in the world, but if that idea leads you to support violence against your fellow human beings, it ought to be reconsidered.
So no, PETA isn’t a reliable organization, and you shouldn’t give them your money or time.
(View All Other Answers.)