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Is it rape?
Okay, I was dating this guy who I was with for two years (we're not together anymore).
I lost my virginity to him, but honestly I didn't enjoy having sex with him.
I'm trying to make this as clean as possible, because I really don't want to break the rules, but I need help.
Anyway, he would want to do it all the time, but if I said I didn't feel like it, he'd tell me to stop being selfish and that sometimes you have to put your feelings aside for the one you love.
So, sometimes I'd give in, but sometimes I'd keep saying no, and he'd as if he could just "put it in" once so he could go and take care of it himself or something. Sometimes I'd let him, sometimes I wouldn't.
But one time when I did let him, he didn't just do it once, so I told him to stop, and he didn't. So I kept telling him to stop and eventually I was crying and he held my arms down so I couldn't fight him until he came...
Now he's trying to say it wasn't rape because I willingly let him put it in, and he tried to say I liked it, which I swear I didn't. I was crying the whole time.
I know it's probably a stupid question, and I'm not planning on going to the police or anything because it happened about a year ago, I just need to know for my own sake if that would be considered rape or not.
Thanks.
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Im no lawyer or anything but in my opinion yes it would be rape. Because of the fact that you told him to stop and not only did he not stop but he held you down and took advantage of you. I really hope your not still with this guy. He desnt sound like the type of person you should want to be with.
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Yes sweetie it was rape. Im very sorry you had to go through that. from personal experience i know how scary something like that can be. now you dont have to go to the police (though you totally could if you feel it neccessary or think hes going to go harm more girls) but i really suggest talking to a counselor about it to make sure your ok and to help you. you may think that its done with and that it happened a year ago but those things can harm a woman for years if she doesnt deal with it. please get some help and im sorry he hurt you like that. you are so much better than that and worth so much more. and please please dont think it was your fault.
hope i helped :)
♥ HiChick
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If someone forces themselves on you then it is rape. If someone doesn't stop when you tell them to then it is rape. It doesn't matter if you 'let him put it in' because you told him to stop and he didn't. The fact that he was holding you down to stop you from fighting back and that you were crying makes the situation even more serious.
I can understand if you don't want to go to the police. Cases like this are incredibly hard to prove and it would be very stressful and upsetting for you to go through. However, pressing charges could prevent him from doing this to other girls in future.
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It was rape. There is no fine line, or iffyness about it, it was simply rape. He forced sexual contact you didn't consent too. That is rape.
Consent means total agreement, according to law. You didn't totally agree. That makes it non-consensual. That makes it rape.
You can tell him as much if you want too, but he'll probably never admit that he raped you. Who would? So it's probably better you simply never speak to the monster again.
You should tell the police. Rapists have a much higher chance of re-offending if they are not reported and the behavior is doesn’t get addressed by the court and/or a counselor. With this situation, he probably wont be charger and you wont go to court, it's been too long and the evidence is probably week. HOWEVER, your report will be avliable to the police, and any other girl who might be concerned about this guy or his behavoir. You could be saving some other girl the pain and shame you are feelings now by labeling the behavior properly and forcing him to recognize what happened, or least, forcing the law to make note of your complaint against him.
But even if you don’t report it, you should talk to someone about it. It’s not something any person should have to deal with, much less deal with alone. If you live in the states, you can call the Planned Parenthood Rape Counseling Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 any time of day or night.
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