Am a bit of a wrinkly now (i was 24 on 4/9/05, but I had the best birthday I've ever had in my whole entire life!!!) but I know an awful of stuff about an awful lot of stuff!
I am COMPLETELY NON-JUDGEMENTAL and you can always inbox me with stuff you wouldn't ask anyone else @ MelanieHarvey81@Hotmail.Com
Mel xxx
"Dance like no one is watching and love like you've never been hurt"
E-mail: MelanieHarvey81@Hotmail.Com
Gender: Female
Location: Long story, born in Germany, Parents are Spanish but grew up in the UK!!!
Occupation: General Superstar and all around heroine!
Age: 24
Member Since: December 24, 2004
Answers: 356
Last Update: July 20, 2007
Visitors: 25980
Main Categories:
Love Life
General Sex Questions
Health
View All
|
| |
|
how do u shrink a shirt...please help! (link)
|
Take it back to the shop and exchange it for a smaller size.
If you can't do this then whack it in the washer on a boil wash and then tumble dry it....... watch this space for next weeks question "How do I UNSHRINK a shirt?!"
Good Luck!!
Mel xx
|
|
I dont know what the category of this is but.. Ok, heres the story this may be long but i'm not sure so if it is i'm sorry but I need all the help i can get with this question. Ok I recently spent the night with a friend of mine and while I was there her dad tried hitting on me asked me if I would have sex with him and asked me if he could kiss me and I said no, and I dont know what to do, her dad even pulled out his thing in front of me which is nasty and after all this happened I didnt go to sleep that night, I stayed up all night watching movies confused on what I should do, I mean should I get a lawer and get him sent to jail or what I am so confused and I dont know what to do, please if anyone can answer this for me I will rate high, and please who ever reads this and gives me an answer dont make jokes about it because this is very serious, thanks to everyone who answers, by the way I will rate high...Thanks advicenators! (link)
|
I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH..... YOU MUST TELL YOUR PARENTS!!!
Sit down and tell then exactly what you have written on here.
Your parents will be there to help and support you, I'm not sure what the process is for things like this being dealt with in your country but your parents will be able to get in touch with all the right people and from there you can decide WITH your parents what you want to happen to this man.
You must tell them because as awful as it sounds this man could pick on a person younger than you who hasn't got the strength or courage to say no.
Please let me know what happens and take care!
Mel xxx
|
hey! wht do i do if your best friend has a crush on the guy your dating. Cuz she just found out that i was dating him and i didnt no that she liiked him or anything...so wht do i do, cuz i no she is getting upset over this.PlEz HeLp
**sk8rgurl (link)
|
Have you been with this fella long?
Do you love him?
Can you see yourself being with him for a long time?
If the answer to the above is NO, then I would ask you to seriously consider getting rid of this guy.
I know you didn't know your best friend liked him, I mean hey she didn't tell you obviously, and unless you are a mind reader there is no possible way you could've known.
One thing I have learnt the hard way is that good friends are few and far between and are worth their weight in gold!!!
Men come and go but friends are forever!!!
Hope it works out.
Mel xxx
|
|
ok i really like this guy but he wont talk to me at all..and when we broke up he said that he never wanted to talk to me again and said that he was too good for me. and when i try to email him he doesnt answer back..but i luv him soo much that i dont kno what to do?! i try getting over him but i cant..wut can i do to try and get over him!? (link)
|
Make sure you spend as much time as possible with all the great people in your life, doing great things.
This will definitely take your mind off of him.
It won't completely erase your memory of him - that will take time, in some cases a long time - each day gets a little easier - i promise you that.
You CAN do much better than this guy anyway!
Who needs or wants someone that has treated them the way he has treated you.
You will get over him I promise, takes time but you'll get there and find someone who is truly worthy of your love, but at the moment take each day as it comes. If you have a bad day when you go to bed write all your worries on a piece of paper then chuck it in the bin and when you wake up the next day try and completely forget about them!
Good luck, I hope everything works out great for you.
Mel
x
|
Okay, here's how it is: one of my best friends' boyfriend (I'll call him K) isn't the loyal type, but she doesn't really care. The only problem is, he has a crush on me but won't admit it. EVERYBODY in the choir (we're choir geeks, sosumi) knows he likes me. I have a boyfriend. I have no feelings for K. It doesn't bother her that he talks to her about her other crushes. It just bothers her when he talks about me, 'cause I'm one of her closest friends.
I've been considering the following plan: Actually yanking him aside one day during lunch or whatever and saying "look, I don't like the way you're always hitting on me and stuff like that. It really kind of bothers me, and I'd appreciate it if you stopped." If he doesn't stop after that, I figure I'd sic my boyfriend on him and get him to tell K to lay off me (but my guy already wants to beat K up for hitting on me, lol).
What do you guys think of this idea? Is it a good idea? Do you have any other suggestions? I hate to see my friend upset...=( (link)
|
You need to lay down the law to this boy (cos he's definitely no man!)
Tell him that you are not interested in him and even if he was single and you were single and he was the last man on earth you wouldn't touch him with a bargepole.
Try and explain to him how he is making your friend feel and that she deserves more respect from him than that.
I wouldn't go and get your boyfriend involved. I understand he must be upset but the last thing you want is an atmosphere created between your best friend and you because your boyfriends have been fighting each other - especially as your friend needs people like you around her with the boyfriend she has!
Take care and I REALLY hope it all works out for you.
Mel xxx
|
|
i skate and have just gotten to the part where you are required to lift your legs high up to the side . ( you stick your arms out so you are in a T-shape , and you lift your leg up so that one of your hands are holding your feet , while keeping the leg you are lifting straight ) i can't lift my leg high enough . does anyone know any excercises that can help this ? (link)
|
Put your arms out to the side then do the splits keeping your legs parrallel to your arms and slowly.....and I do mean slowly lean forwards as far as you can.
If it hurts at any point stop and go back to normal.
This will make your hips more flexible.
Have fun!!
Mel
|
|
ok my horse was injured in the hoof.today my mom talked to the vet when i was at school and they agreed to put shoes on him :'(. and we allways said we weren't going to put anyshoes on cause he has never had them cause his feet r so strong!nobody listens to me!ok so if they have shoes once they have to have them forever!am i right ?please help quickly! (link)
|
Once a horse has worn shoes it doesn't always have to wear them.
They can help heal the hoof quicker if there is something wrong with it or it is weak.
Here in the UK we sell stuff by a company called Effol.
I use these products on my pony and her hooves are fine now (they used to be a little crumbly and prone to splitting)
You can get Hoof Lotion, Hoof Oil, Hoof Tar and Hoof Ointment.
In the short term maybe it is best you have her shoed but in the long term try using some of these products to get your horse back on her feet!! (Scuse the pun!!)
Take care!!
Mel
|
|
i've had this cough for about a month long. at the beginning it was from a severe cold or something. but i've been around my sister a lot who smokes and i have asthma. could it be from second hand smoke getting into me? any ideas? i rate *HiGH* (link)
|
I would definitely go and see a doctor - a month is quite a long time to have a cough - and especiallcy as you are asthmatic!!
Also if your sister smokes around you then you should ask her not too - second hand smoke has been proven to be harmful.
Tell your sister that if she wants to blacken her lungs and kill herself slowly then that's up to her - but you don't want to be brought down by her disgusting habit!!
Another thing you could try if it is a tickly cough and it's the middle of the night and you can't sleep for coughing is eating a big spoon of honey! Sound gross - tastes good and it if you swallo it as soon as the honey hits your tounge then it will slide down your throat and coat it and it dtops the tickly sensation!!!
Works wonders!!!
Good luck!
|
|
me and my friend have decided to get eachother presents. well, we are like best friends so i got her something special that took me a long time and trouble. it coct about $30 but she is my best friends, so she deserved it. today she said she would tell me what she got me if i told her wat i got. it turns out she got me a $3 key chain!!!!!! i smiled and said "thanks, can't wait to see it!" but inside i was screaming. she already knows what i am getting her so i can't return it and she said she was so excited it was a great gift. im mad, is that wrong? what should i do? i dpn't wanna hurt her feelings but c'mon! please help, i rate high. (link)
|
Oh Dear!!
This tends to happen quite a lot.
I understand how hurt you must feel - try talking to your friend about it and explain why you feel so upset. I mean I'm sure it's not an issue of cost but the thought behind the gift. She went out and picked a random something for you whereas you put a lot of thought into her gift.
As I said, I would definitely try and talk to her about this - if you feel you don't want to then me and my friends have a great way of buying gifts at christmas and birthdays.
There are 4 of us - Myself, Liss, Juanita and Cheryl. We all put £10 in for each person then we'll all get together and buy a joint present for example - I get a gift that is jointly from Juanita, Cheryl and Liss. Juanita gets a gift jointly from Me, Juanita and Cheryl...etc etc. This is great because it means you get 3 times as much though go into the present thatn if just 1 person bought it, and it also means you get to go shopping with your best friends!! What more could you ask for!!
Take Care!
Mel
|
|
My friend cuts herself. And it really scares me she talks about killing herself sometimes. Like she thinks no one would miss her. Sometimes I wanna kill myself too but I realize how many people would miss me. But she doesn't seem to realize that. She doesn't cut herself often like she only did once but I am just scared it might become a habit. What should I do? And its not that serious enough to tell anybody yet and she would get really mad if I told anyone. I don't plan on doing anything until it gets worse like i see marks on her arms. What should I do to keep her happy and keep her not thinking about killing herself? I'm so scared right now please help me! I rate High and leave comments too! (link)
|
Hi,
I know quite a bit about self harm as my brother used to cut himself too.
There are 3 Main types (this does not mean to say there are only 3)
The First is Affect regulation - These are self harmers that self harm as a tool for:
Escape from emptiness, depression, and feelings of unreality.
Easing tension.
Providing relief: when intense feelings build, self-injurers are overwhelmed and unable to cope. By causing pain, they reduce the level of emotional and physiological arousal to a bearable one.
Relieving anger: many self-injurers have enormous amounts of rage within. Afraid to express it outwardly, they injure themselves as a way of venting these feelings.
Escaping numbness: many of those who self-injure say they do it in order to feel something, to know that they're still alive.
Grounding in reality, as a way of dealing with feelings of depersonalization and dissociation
Maintaining a sense of security or feeling of uniqueness
Obtaining a feeling of euphoria
Preventing suicide
The second is Communication - These are self harmers that self harm as a tool for:
Expressing emotional pain they feel they cannot bear
Obtaining or maintaining influence over the behavior of others
Communicating to others the extent of their inner turmoil
Communicating a need for support
Expressing or repressing sexuality
Expressing or coping with feelings of alienation
Validating their emotional pain -- the wounds can serve as evidence that those feelings are real
The third main one is Control/Punishment: These are self harmers taht self harm as a tool for:
Continuing abusive patterns: self-injurers tend to have been abused as children.
Punishing oneself for being "bad"
Obtaining biochemical relief: there is some thought that adults who were repeatedly traumatized as children have a hard time returning to a "normal" baseline level of arousal and are, in some sense, addicted to crisis behavior. Self-harm can perpetuate this kind of crisis state
Diverting attention (inner or outer) from issues that are too painful to examine
Exerting a sense of control over one's body
Preventing something worse from happening
Each case of self harm is very very different and I would not be able to help any further from the little I know about his case.
The best advice I can give you is to go to http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html
This is a fantastic site that supports friends/relatives and loved one of self injurers.
You will find a whole wealth of information here pertaining to self harm, there are suppport groups and lots of links to sites that may help your friend.
I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope that your friend gets better soon.
Take Care
|
|
My ex recently came back into my life and I admit that I do have strong feelings for him. He also said that he wants to be in a long-term relationship with me. He said that I was on his mind alot and thats why he felt he had to find me. Things keep happening like fate wants us to be. If I do decide to talk to him again, it will be a risk because he do have a past behind him because he's a bad boy. I still want to be with him in a way. We both said we will take it slow to see what will happend. So do you think that I should give it a try because I think fate is bringing us together for a reason, I just need to hear it from someone else. (link)
|
If you feel that you love him enough to want to try again then go for it. Everyone deserves a second chance.
Like you I am still in love with my ex and him with me. Unfortunately we are in a situation where we cannot be together, for fear of losing our families if we did.
The advice I give you is to take it a day at a time, and appreciate what you have every day for if you truly are meant to be together then follow your heart - if it feels right then 99% of the time it is.
As a Alfred Lord Tennyson once said - Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
Take Care!
|
|
Last night my best friends parents got into a car accident. Her dad had to spend the night in the hospital because he broke his ribs and lost a lot of blood. Her mom is doin ok, she has internal bruises but is taking everything well. The doctors thought that her dad was going to die, but he made it through the night. Ive never been in this sort of situation before. I dont know what to say or what to do. Please help, i really need to be there for my friend!!!!!!! (link)
|
It's really hard to know what to say or do in a situation like this.
The only advice I can give you is to be there for her. To listen, to hug her if she gets upset, to be a board for her to sound off at if she feels angry (and at some point she probably will!) or to just sit and share silence with her.
You cannot begin to imagine how much that helps, just to know that there is someone there if you need them, so that you are not alone - actions speak louder than words.
When they get out of hospital obviously there are lots of practical things you will be able to help her with, but after something as awful as this happening so near Christmas she will need your emotional support more than anything else.
|
I am 35 and my older sister is 37.
I am a creative, intellectual type and she is a practical, common sense type. She does not understand me or why I love to read so much. She considers my creative writing a waste of time. What I love, she has no value for. What can I do or say to help her understand me? We are so different. She is a great sister otherwise. (link)
|
From what you said in your e-Mail you obviously get on, so why don't you both donate a day to each other.
You do things that you like, visit places that you like and show her what it is like to be you.
In return she gets to do what you want for a day. Go places she likes, do things that she likes and she can show you what it is like to live in her world.
At the end of it all hopefully you will have a better insight to the things that make the other one tick - you never know you may just find a few things on the days that you both enjoy and find some sort of common ground.
Good Luck & Merry Christmas,
|
|
What should i get my mom and dad for xmas? i dont have any money and i cant go out and buy anything so i was wondering if any of you have any ideas on what i could give them or make them? i hope you have some ideas because i only have 2 days! i will rate for effort! ill give you a five! (link)
|
What about going through old photo albums and making them a catalogue of your life - all it needs is some old family pictures and a few sheets of card.
Little moments that the 3 of you shared that are special, and beside each picture write why you picked the picture and what the memoriy of the picture means to you.
I did this for my Mum last Christmas as she lives in Spain and I in the UK - It made her cry but it is one of her most treasured possessions.
It will be something for them to look at when they are having a grey day that will make them smile.
The other alternative is to make a book of vouchers.
For example THIS VOUCHER ENTITLES MUM TO A HOT BUBBLY BATH WHEN SHE GETS IN FROM WORK or THIS VOUCHER ENTITLES DAD TO 1 CAR WASH.
The great thing about this is that you can pick whatever you are willing to do - the only thing is, if you give out the vouchers make sure you can honour them!!!
Hope you have a Great Christmas!
|
|
I was in a mental institution and I got really close to one of the staff members that worked there, she helped me in every way possible and I thought of her as my mom. Since I have been out it seems like everytime I call the hospital to talk to her, they make an excuse for me to NOT talk to her. Last night my sister looked her up on the internet and come to find out, she lives a mile away from me, and I have her home phone number, I mailed her a christmas card this morning to her home, but I dont know if I should actually call her at home. I miss her so much and she made such a big impact in my life, what do I do? I don't want her to think that I am like stalking her or anything! ??????? (link)
|
Firstly, I am glad to hear that you are well enough to have left the institute, it's a huge goal that you should be really proud of.
In my honest opinion I would not call her at home, especially if she did not reply to your Christmas card, I assume your contact details were on that, which means if she wants to get in touch she can - although a lot of mental establishments prohibit their staff from making contact with patients on the "outside"
I understand how close you must feel to her, especially as she helped you out loads whilst you were going through a rough patch, but being at the institution is this ladies job.
Imagine you work as a chef. The last thing you want to do when you come home after a long day at work is cook for people.
This may sound harsh, but I think that you would be an awful lot better moving on from that part of your life and look forward to the rest of your future, you have your sister, why not try and build a similar relationship with her.
Take Care
|
This is for knowledgeable and experienced horse-people only!
My mare (shes eight years old) has nasty eyes. They get "goopy" stuff in them, and its gross. I dont want it to harm her health though. I cant figure out what it is. Its not alergies, cause if it was, she would colic, get hives, founder or look sick. She hasnt had any of those problems. Its not flies irritating her eyes, there are no flies. It is way too cold for flies. (the high was 29 degrees, but it feels like 19!) Its not dirt getting into her eyes, I thoroughly checked and washed them out. There is no place for her to get dirt in her eyes anyway. We dont use shavings in stalls either, so its not that. My other horses dont have this problem, just this mare. Shes not lazy, or inactive, shes perfectly healthy. I dont want this to become a problem for her, please (if you think you know what it is) tell me!
Sorry its so long! (oh, and dont say to visit the vet. I cant afford to visit a vet right now, and they are only accepting emmergancy cases because of the holidays)
Thank you! (link)
|
The best advice I can give is get your horse to a vet asap, I wouldn't like to speculate on what the cause could be.
If this isnot possible right now then I would advise you to wipe away any discharge you can. You can apply Vaseline around the eye to reduce the skin being scalded by the discharge.
Never try to force the eyelids open if they are shut as you could damage the eyes further.
A horse will often try to rub an injured eye, making it worse. Use a pair of blinkers to protect the eye. If possible, an ice pack in between layers of soft cloth may help to soothe it if you feel that it is irritating your horse.
Many horses with eye problems are sensitive to light. Place them in a quiet, dust-free, dark, fly-free stable. Feed hay on the floor to minimise dust getting in their eyes, and consult your Vet AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
|
|