I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
Visitors: 133627
Main Categories:
Mental health
Parenting
Doesn't Fit Any Of These Categories
View All
|
| |
15/f
I'm a freshman in high school. And there are sophomores and juniors in my spanish class. So, everyday they bother and harass me. Today, it got to the point where they were trying to grab my boobs. They were kidding...but one of them grabbed my chest, hard and another guy HIT my chest, by accident. They didn't apologize...just shrugged it off...kind of like "Oh look at the freshman. Let's take more advantage of her". They laughed and went to their next class. I feel so violated and ....insecure I guess.
Help? :( (link)
|
You should feel violated as that is what these goons did to you. They need to learn a lesson now that they cannot do this to girls or unsuspecting females as they can get charged with assault or sexual assualt at their age.
What you need to do is see the principal in confidence and tell them exactly what happened and how these guys laughed it off and walked away. Have them deal with it and document what you said. They'll then find these jerks and have a little chat with them.
You can also have the principal call the police in and file charges as believe it or nt this is a very serious matter. What they did to you wont be taken lightly by school officials or the cops who can charge them with assault. What they did was no joke and not something you kid about.
If they ever tried it again you could file harassment charges with the police to get them to stop. You should also learn to defend yourself if you haven't already and kick them in the groin or elbow them hard in the gut to get them to keep their hands to themselves.
Find out if other girls have been touched in the same way and perhaps get them to back up what happened to you and go to school officials together. Don't keep this a secret as what they did deserves to be punished.
|
16/f Sorry about this being super long!
Ok..so...I want a vibrator really bad. I've been masturbating with my fingers for the past 2 years. I could easily order one on the internet because I have my own debited credit card, but because of my mom, me owning one would be very risky.
I actually got a mini-massager online(which is just a regular everyday massager) a few months ago and had it for about 2 short days...but my mom is so sneaky she came into my room, found the box and order form in my trash which said "massager" and she jokingly confronted me about it. I made up a lame excuse that i was giving it to my friend for her birthday as a gag gift. Then, she said "Oh haha I thought you were using it to masturbate or something HAHA!" and then, to make it seem more convinving, I told her "EW! i would never do that! now i'm not going to give it to my friend because thats gross and she'll think i'm weird". So, my mom decided she wanted it. And, well, I had to give it to her, just to backup my whole lie. (Actually, she's smart, and she might have had a hunch i was lying and was testing me...) It's not that i think my mom would care (she's a OBGYN and I think she's used to this kind of stuff)...it's just SO embarrassing and I don't want her knowing I masturbate. It would just be too weird if she knew. And the way she acted about it, like how she laughed, made me feel like a fool.
Anyway, she's VERY nosy and comes into my room a lot and looks through my stuff like drawers, so it would be hard for me to hide a vibrator anywhere.
So, basically, I was wondering what I could do about this issue. I'm not going to have a mother/daughter talk with her about it and I never want to, so please don't suggest that. Where are good places to hide things? What are other objects that vibrate that won't seem too obvious? I have one of those big back massage things, but it's too loud. I also run the risk of my brothers hearing me or something.
Just plain advice about this would be nice too. Thanks! (link)
|
Manufacturers of adult novelty items are now marketing a whole line of vibrators that are categorized as "mini vibrators" some are barely the size of a tube of lipstick and many are waterproof. The companies are also selling some of these items with a case or bag that looks like you have cosmetics in it.
People will get banned from here if they give you links about such products but I'm sure you are resourceful. Getting a mini vibrator that comes with it's own container that conceals what it is may be okay.
You cannot buy it on the Internet yourself though or in a store as it's illegal be it on the net or not for them to serve you. You don't need trouble and nor do they from that. Have someone you know help you.
If you cannot get a lock on your door so it can only be opened with a key from the outside invest in a small lock box or filing cabinet where you can put your files, notes etc in as well and put said device in with it and lock it.
Your mother is an OB/GYN so you better believe she knows teen girls yoiur age are masturbating and suspects you do too like any normal teen. It would probably not phase her even if she found one in your room.
The only way to get her to stop snooping is to lock such stuff up in a lock box, file box etc where she cannot access it. Try buying a small lock or have the lock on your door changed so someone needs a key. Tell mom it's nothing personal but you need more privacy.
|
|
i cut often and im not really afraid as to what people think of me but i wouldnt choose to hear it...i just transferred schools and i know that they feed on drama.....i dont want to be any part of that but the summer is coming and its getting really hot.i want to be able to show my arms without hearing whispers but i dont know what to do......i know they will talk......i just want to do my work.....what should i do? (link)
|
Covering the cuts up will be very difficult depending where on your arms they are situated. Like the last poster stated above me unless you can wear something with long sleeves you really cannot do much to hide them in the summer.
Will people talk? You can bank on it they will but you need to ignore that and not let it affect you as hard as that is. They're just ignorant of this kind of thing and the fact that it is fuelled by mental illness and demons.
What you really need to do for yourself is to show your scars to family or an adult you trust and ask for help to stop. You need to see a doctor who can refer you to a psychiatrist as you have a mental distrurbance you need professional help with that is causing all of this.
The best thing to do is to get some kind of relief through medical means from this issue. You owe it to yourself. It's time to stop trying to hide the scars and keeping this a secret that is also hidden. Sooner or later people will know and see what is going on but you have the ability to stop it from escalating further.
Like i said, there's not much you can do to hide these scars if they are in a spot on your arms that is highly visible without a sweater that completely covers your arms. In summer it's just not possible to do really. Bottom line, please get yourself some help as you badly need it.
That's the truth, not a judgment of you. You're in BIG trouble here wheher you see that or not. It cannot go on much longer without people noticing and forcing you to stop. it's best to go to them on your own and get help than being told to do so when they see the scars.
|
There is a charity show, for which two plays are needed. they both need to be 7 minutes long and be scripted for 4-7 people.
They need to be funny,fast moving and in either naturalistic or non naturalistic form. They also can be abstract as the performers will have a good knowledge of dramatic evices, they need o use conventions possibly soundscapes, montages, thought tracking, freeze frames etc etc. It also has to be an ensemble piece. It need a very dramatic ending with or without a message - doesn't really matter.
Thankz (link)
|
The best thing you can do that will earn you a lot of praise and fulfill your assignment is to write an original work with 4-7 people and collaborate on it. This way you can ensure you have a play that meets all of your requirement from tracking, freeze frames, sounscapes, thoughts etc. and have the message you must get across.
The other thing you can do is walk into a big bookstore downtown or one of those box store chains and ask about their theatre section and tell them what you need. They should have books of one-act or two-act plays and monologues available that will meet your needs.
In the event the bookstore doesnt help in most major cities there are bookstores that specialize in only selling plays. You could get a good one from them for sure. You just have to use google to find one in your city.
You need to tell the bookstore or the theatre bookstore that you need it to be for teens and suitble for 7 people. i still think you are best to write your own script as it's the best way to solve your problem.
|
is there any way to make a best friend see you as more than a friend? even if he is afraid of commitment? i need help please. i hate this feeling. i love him soo much but he send me mixed signals. im tired of this. wen i asked him he said he didnt like me. and he also said that he had problems with commitment. that was before though. now we're even closer friends. he doesnt know i still like him. at one point i was over him, but that didnt last long. my other friend likes him too. but he makes it seem like he likes me. ugh its oh so complicated. hes the best thing that has ever happened to me. im not kidding. i love him (as a friend)and as more than a friend. he makes me feel so special but has no idea of my feelings for him. i cant tell him i dont wanna get rejected again. and my friend, i promised her i was over him.
anyone?
Thanx,
Abb 14/f
(link)
|
You need to talk to him again. Ask him point blank what exactly is he afraid of? Tell him that fear is holding him back from having a great relationship with someone who adores him. Let him know that if he doesn't act fast that you may not always be there as it's killing you inside.
Just tell him that word for word and tell him you will work with him to get over his fears of commitment or anything else. If that will not work move on, find another guy, find another friend too. As hard as it sounds that's where things are standing. I'm being blunt as either you have to get him to see what he may lose or move on as he's never going to handle his fear.
If he rejects you (which I doubt will happen) just roll with the punches and find someone else worthy of you in the future. He's just one guy in a sea of millions. Is he worth the work you're doing to get him to see?
When it comes to your friend if he's not responding to her signals or doesn't seem interested you are okay. He needs to tell her though that he's not interested in her and is interested in you and let things come out that way.
If you friend is really your friend a guy won't come between either of you ever. At this point if the guy doesn't hook up with you maybe your friend should try for him.
It may be what has to happen for both of you to see he's not right for either of you if doing what I told you above fails to make him your boyfriend. Try it and see what happens but it's time for some hardball and tough love approach.
You've been his friend for ages if he doesn't trust you enough not to hurt him in a romantic relationship or otherwise something's wrong and it's with him not you. I would totally leave this guy alone if he rejected you here. You do however need to try so you can evaluate if he's worth sticking around period.
Just being blunt and honest here. i'm calling it like i see it as I've answered hundreds of questions with the same scenario. if the girl doesn't get tough and go after the fearful or shy guy it won't happen.
Once you can agree that you'll help him with his fears of commiting or anything else that should change his "not into commitment" or "getting hurt" stance with you. Who can you trust if not your best-friend anyway?
|
|
hay does anyone know of any good party music, like song remixs or night club music basically with a good beat maybe techno remixs or something.. beacause im having a party soon and i dont know what to play help!!!!!! (link)
|
I think Billboard magazine's Web site could help you a lot here. You can see the top 100 or 200 best-selling artists in America on there and the names of their albums. You can bet that's what your friends are listening to.
Do you have a favorite radio station? What you can do is go to their Web site and look at who is on their playlist and Top 10 @ whatever countdown. If you don't have a favorite station logging onto google for radio stations in say New York City and look at what they are playing as they all have countdown lists.
Try this link http://www.chumfm.com/music/ChartListing.asp?ChartID=4
That chart lists the top 30 singles as preffered by listeners of a station in Toronto. It also tells you what records the songs are from.
Also, you can never go wrong by going to a record store and telling the cashier I'm having a party but don't know what to play for my guests. They can point you to re-mix Cds, 80s music and actual compilation CDS of the tracks they're playing in clubs and the most popular stuff.
Hope this helps.
|
We recently had to reboot our entire computer and ever since then our email has been messed up.. its not letting use recieve mail properly and its not letting us send out mail..
After trying to send mail it said..
The host 'SMTP' could not be found. Please verify that you have entered the server name correctly. Account: 'pop3.blueyonder.co.uk', Server: 'SMTP', Protocol: SMTP, Port: 25, Secure(SSL): No, Socket Error: 11001, Error Number: 0x800CCC0D
any ideas what is causing this and anyway we can fix it? (link)
|
Hi,
When you rebooted your entire computer you likely ended up putting all the settings back the way they were like the day you first bought it.
Your mail client in that case would not have the incoming and outgoing servers for your ISP set at all for your e-mail accounts or if they are set the SMTP and POP settings are outdated.
All you really need to do here is call your ISP and tell them the message above and that you cannot send nor receive e-mail on whatever program you are using ie Outlook and the version number of it. Let them know you did an entire reboot of the machine as that could be crucial.
They'll tell you to set your incoming server a certain way and your outgoing another way usually it looks like SMTP.(provider) and a number.
The error message you are getting above there is just telling you that your e-mail program isn't set up right and is not connecting to a certain server.
Call your ISP and they'll tell you how to set it correctly (it's something I've done on mine but forget how) to the right settings and then it will start sending and receiving mails.
Expect a deluge if people have been e-mailing you all this time and before connecting or calling your ISP to help do yourself and your pals a huge favor and chuck everything in your outbox and draft folders.
Why? If you've been trying to send stuff over and over to people the minute you connect back up (at least in my case it happened) all that mail is going to want to start sending automatically to people.
I hope this helps. While I'm not 100% sure on what the error message means I'm sure it relates to you not having the incoming and outgoing servers for mail set correctly like your ISP has them. That's all it is really--not having the correct SMTP settings as well as outgoing.
When you don't have the correct settings there is just no way anything will send or come into your box as you aren't connected to any of your ISPs servers. Give them a call it will only take a few minutes to fix unless they find something else amiss.
|
|
I'm sending a paperback book overseas by sea/surface mail, so I know it'll possibly get wet or be subjected to rough handling during its travels. What household materials could I use for packaging to make it a secure and safe parcel? (link)
|
If you buy a padded envelope from the post office and put the book inside it should be fine. It won't get wet using a padded envelope or damaged. Their padded envelopes have bubble wrap in them that surrounds the book.
What I like to do is use their padded envelope with the bubble wrap and put an additional layer of buddble wrap around the book with elastics or taped around it. That always works well. What you ought to do is use the express rates 2-4 days for your package that gives you a tracking number.
The tracking number not only tells you were your parcel is at all times during shipping but ensures that if it gets damaged (which it won't) or lost that they owe you money.
Your best option is a costly one but well worth considering doing. You can send it by FedEx or UPS to the recipient in a special box or envelope designed so your package is secure. That can cost tons though unless the recipient is in the same U.S. state or if another state that borders you.
|
I posted a question about sex and being molested on friday. Many people who gave me advice told me that I should see some kind of psychologist or therapist.
Last year, my parents split and my school councelor suggested a therapist for me to go to.
I went to this lady and she only saw me once, we set up a meeting for another date, and I left. I came back the next week and she wasn't in her office, she wouldn't answer her phone, and I never got any kind of call back from her so I just quit going.
Now the problem is that not only do I not have a school councelor but now my dad is not willing to pay for a therapist and he thinks I don't need any help.
How do I convince my dad to take me to another one? (link)
|
I'm assuming from this that he doesn't know you were molested yet. In that case you need to tell him the truth and who did it to you. This person needs to be caught as you can bet any other girl he's around is in danger.
Tell your father you really need help to get through this ordeal and move forward in your life as it's continuing to disturb you. I'll tell you something about therapists--avoid them. What you need is a psychiatrist to talk with about this. He/she can put you on medication for your anxiety or depression associated with this.
I've seen a lot of therapists and haven't met a single one that wasn't a flake or sicker than their actual patient. They can do nothing for you at all in my opinion other than waste your money can make you talk around in circles every time.
The therapist you saw is obviously not a good one and something funny is going on with their practise. Do not waste your money finding another one. Tell your father the truth and get a child/teen psychiatrist referal from your family doctor.
There is no shame in seeing a psychiatrist but a lot of suffering and shame for not seeing one and needlessly hurting. No doctor can cure or erase what happened over night either but they can give you tools and medications to help you cope a lot better than you can now.
Let your secret out as holding it in is doing nothing for you. If your father knows the real reasons you need professional help you can bet he will bend backward to make sure you get it.
|
I'm running for President of the Student Council at my school, and I want people to give me advice on what they think would be good to say in my speech, and ideas for my campaign. I'm doing t-shirts and posters and pins and the usual for the campaign, yet the speech is a little tricky, because I don't want to promise things or use that 'im not promising anything' line. Do you remember anything you like from a speech or thought was a good idea? And from a campaign as well. Did someone in your school do something particularly eye-catching or funny or out-standing or whatever?
I need all the ideas I can get, so feedback is muchly appreciated.
I'm sixteen/f, btw, and I'm fairly friendly and popular among my peers. So I don't need ideas about how to meet more people or anything. (link)
|
I was vice-president of student council for three years and acclaimed as president the fourth year of highschool. forget the pins, t-shirts, stickers and buttons. They do not work. Do not promise parties or anything of that nature that can be seen as bribery.
The speech matters a lot. The person below is incorrect about that. Your speech is key to victory as is the way you deliver it. You have to be passionate about something and only you know what that is.
Tell them the line that you don't want to promise anything and go in top the real reason you cannot. You have to inform them that your competitors are making all kinds of promises they cannot keep.
Tell them that you can present their ideas but the adminstration is always the deciding factor as is the budget they give you. Tell them you'll only promise take their ideas to the administration and fight for them rather than promise that which you cannot keep.
Tell them how tight you plan to be with the administration. Let them know popularlarity doesn't count at all and tell them why. If you come across looking as though you have really thought out what a president has to do you can win. But don't go with gimmicks such as t-shirts and pins and stickers.
Develop a platform and stick to it in your speeches and everything else that you are approaching running for president from a common sense approach, what you see is what you get campaign and show them what a good president is versus someone who writes cheques they cannot catch.
You have to let them know what a president can acieve versus what they cannot once elected and knock your opponents down and out that way.
These thoughts and words must come from your own mind as a line that worked for someone else won't for you. Essentially, you need to figure out what the real reason is for you wanting to run and write speeches from that desire and passion.
You will need posters with a slogan people remember but don't overdo it. place them in strategic places in the school and not all over the place. I wouldn't put up more than 10-20 posters. You want to be remembered but come across as mature and knowing exactly what you are doing rather than be in your face.
Just be honest with others and don't exaggerate your abilities in anything you tell them in a speech. Keep your speech to five minutes and outline all the areas where you will make a differenc e and where you see your competition going wrong already.
|
|
this boy really likes me and is apparentely goign to ask me out. Im not sure what to do, i really really like him but im not sure if i can be in a relationship right now because of other peoples cocky comments like haha hes going out with her! what shall i do, shall i say yes or no? (link)
|
Why would you ever allow yourself to be controlled but what other prople think? How dare they even voice an opinion about anything you do. Who cares if they don't like him or do not like you dating him? In five years you won't be able to remember the names or faces of half of them.
If you like this guy as much as he likes you accept him. You will be glad you did. You will likely have a very good relationship that you would be a fool to pass up. Let people make the comments they want. Don't let it bother either of you. They'll stop when they will see you both arent affected by that nonsense.
The truth of the matter is most of the girls and or guys making comments about you and him would be jealous that he's with you or you're with him. Pay it no mind and go about your business together.
You can definitely be in a relationship right now if you want to be. don't let anything hold you back here. That goes especially so for what other people may think or say. It's not their place to say anything first of all and if they did consider the source and reson behind it.
|
I've been going out with this guy for a little bit; a few days ago we hung out and he said he'd call to plan something out for today (Sunday). He didn't call the past few days, neither have I..but he just left me a message that he might have to cancel plans.I can't go out today..but I don't have a good feeling about this- he hasn't kept in touch for a few days, and now he's cancelling. I just have a feeling that I shouldn't make a big deal about him, that he just takes me for granted.
What do you think about all of this? In case it matters, I'm 22. F. (link)
|
I think you need to relax. I'm sure he still likes you and wants to hang out but that something came up. You haven't given him any reason to not want to date you so all is likely fine.
His not calling you often is not unusual either. Most people associate at school and do all their planing there or online. He might also be waiting for you to call and wondering what's up.
Before jumping to conclusions wait and see what he does tommorow and if he reschedules. If he doesn't talk to you about it or call go ahead and call him and see where things stand. I assure you, it ll sounds fine to me.
He just might not know how much is too much calling and or what you are thinking about when you haven't tried calling him on your own. It could be all related to that.
|
|
I sorta like this guy at my school who is younger than me and is a Sophmore and I'm a Junior,& he plays varsity baseball. I've just been getting over a guy and starting fresh anew. I don't want to get used or my feelings hurt again.. Just about every guy has hurt my feelings, mostly liking me and then turning around and liking someone else or leading me on. I'm scared to try again about this one.He's in my lunch, and I've already talked to a mutual friend about him like asking him his name so he told me. This guy Frank* gives my eye contact, and looks at me, but I usually don't look at him when I see him looking at me. Any takes or suggestions on how to start talking to him?. (link)
|
You need to start by knowing that the past is the past. You cannot change it but should not let it haunt you or dictate your decisions here. Nobody is out to hurt you or lead you on. This person has no idea abut your past with the guy who did hurt you.
What you ought to do is try to become friends with the person you like first. Introduce yourself if you haven't done so and invite him to hang out with you and your friends some time.
Press a piece of paper with your number and online info and ask to chat. Build your confidence that way and see where things lead you. You MUST move on from the past and go with the flow. Don't let it hold you back from meeting the rightperson or being with them.
At some point you could say to him that you were hurt in the past and don't know you can handle a relationship. All you have is this minute right now. Everything else is done with. You have to move forward and not orry that the past is going to repeat itself. This is a new day, new page, new scenario, new guy.
The only way you can get hurt right now is if you let what happened in your last relationship stop you from moving forward. If you like this guy go for it. Nothing but fear is in your way.
|
Sorry is this is kind of weird but lately a lot of people have been saying " Who wears the pants in a relationship? "
I don't really understand what that means. =/ Thanks lol (link)
|
This is a good question actually. What it really means is who is the boss or the one in charge in a relationship between two people who are romantically involved. Is the male in charge or is the female the one in charge making all th key decisions and being the dominant partner. I hope this answers your question.
|
Hey!
I was just in HSM at my school, and once a month we want to have like little HSM reunions and we'd get eachother gifts and eveerything but what are some activities we can do to keep in touch and to keep reunions super fun? (link)
|
I'm not sure what city you are in but I've read that high School Music is being turned into a show on ice. I know that the tour begins soon or seats will be on sale for summer.
I would check the Internet about that show and log onto Ticketmaster at some point. Getting tickets to that as a group would make for a good reunion.
If you wanted to do something not related to the actual play I recommend buying a murder mystery game where you take on the role of different characters. Why not see a play also?
Indoor Go-Karting is all the rage with teens lately. See if you can do that or paintball or laser tag indoors. You should approach your friends to find out what they would be interested in doing and get some suggestions there.
Also a lot of fun is the DVD board game Scene It which is all about movies, music and pop-culture. It's sort of like trivial pursuit in a way but with its own unique twists.
I'm not sure how old you are but you might be able to if 16-years-old get into a comedy club which is always fun or if you an improv troupe like Second City you could see that. You could also hire a DJ and have a dance party where each of you pays their share of the bill.
|
|
im confused, shall i get the nintendo Wii, or the playstation 3. ps3 looks amazing, great graphics, etc. but the Wii is just so crazy cool! its like, "The Console Of The Future!!" but has bad graphics! any help to make me deice will be appreciated, thanks. (link)
|
Where did you hear that the WII has bad graphics? It has impressive graphics that are sharp and crisp. You should see the graphics on some of the games such as Sonic and the Secret Rings.
It just pops out. WII sports is amazing as well as you get to be the boxer, bowler, baseball player, tennis player etc. There's a reason why this console is hard to get. It's also affordable and a lot of fun as you become the actual character by being stapped to the controller.
I stopped playing video games a few years ago but this system brought me back to them. I suggest you get the WII now and save up for the Playstation 3 as it retails for close to $600 American. I'm quite happy with my WII and would not buy another system.
|
I have this friend, let's call her V. I think she's really hilarious and overall a really fun and a good friend. But pretty much everyone in my class hates her because she's annoying. I wouldn't think this is a big problem, but my bf says the reason he doesn't talk to me at school is I'm always with her and we've pretty much broken up because of this. Also, some kids from my class have gotten grudges against me and pretty much everyone just hates me because I'm her friend.
What, oh what should I do? Should I stop being her friend? (link)
|
The last thing you should ever do is stop being her friend. What others think should not matter at all to you. If they don't like her that's their problem and not yours.
They just don't understand her like you do. You see the good in her and are having fun being with her. Don't let anyone else change this. I thinbk this girl needs your friendship more than you will ever know.
Your classmates have not figured out why she is different and that's why they don't like her. They're afraid of her and dont get what she is all about.
I think she may have a learning problem that is undiagnosed or social issues that are related to some kind of problem that she cannot control well or doesn't see as a problem. She may come across as loud and annoying at times but to her it's normal.
I think you ought to be a good friend and tell her that a lot of your peers treat her badly because of X, Y, Z and that you want to help her to make friends and learn how to act around people and what not to do. Tip her off about her social skills or lack there of being a problem and try to help her.
Your boyfriend is a JERK for ditching you over you being friends with her. Be happy to be free of him as he would have proven wrong for you regardless. You aren't missing anything. Trust me on that.
Your classmates are awfully shallow people and not worthy of your time or hers. Eventually they will come around but don't worry if they do not. You won't need them and principal as well as morality should dictate that you stand by this girl no matter what. she's teaching you the value of a true friend.
The greatest thing you could do is help change her life and fortunes at school by helping her. I think this might be divine intervention and a role you were meant to play.
This is no big deal or problem unless you make it into one. Who gives a shit what ignorant people around you are thinking? If they won't get to know her for who she is than it's their loss.
Proceed normally with the friendship and maybe, just maybe it will teach them all something about how foolish they are.
You are leaps and bounds above your classmates intellectually and in five years you won't be able to remember half of them. They'll still be stuck in the same place ignorant as ever unless forced to change. Don't become like them.
If people hold grudges against you for being someone else's friend let them know in no uncertain terms that you do not need them and stick to your guns because you absolutely do not need them.
You will find friends will flock to you and this girl in the end but they won't be the popular kids and jerks you are tlking about. They will be people genuinely grateful for your friendship and worthy of it.
Look for kids in your school that could use a friend and start building your friend's friendships around them and yours as well. You're both better off than any of the kids bothering the two of you.
|
|
Okay, I am a 29 yr. old mom of a 10 year old daughter. Today I was freaked out when I walked in on her in the bathroom and realized she must have started puberty a long time ago. No period or anything yet but the hair is there. OH MY GOD!! I think this is way too soon, I was 13! I'm so not prepared, I love her and want to talk to her about this maturely, but maturely...shes 10!!!!!!!!My mother never talked to me about these things, when i was 13 I had a ruptured appendix and started my period soon after the surgery, I thought it was from the surgery i was clueless!LOL some advice please?? Thanks (link)
|
The fact of the matter is your daughter may know far more about sex and puberty than you think. The problem here is whether or not she's getting that info from the right sources or at all. A lot of what she might know may be murky and or myths.
10-years-old is not too young for her to know the facts of life and about puberty. This is the age 10-13 that sex ed is usually taught at in most schools (well at least info on puberty at her age level). You cannot count on the schools getting across your values and views to her though.
You have to make sure that you are a good mom here and tell your daughter all the things you wish your mother told her to break the cycle from happening again. Your daughter needs her mom to guide her through all this.
Here's what you should do. These books are classics that break down puberty, sex, sexuality for people your child's age and are age apropriate and easy to grasp for them and for you to read together.
The writer is named Lynda Madaris and you will want BOTH books What's Happening To My Body A Book For Girls and What's Happening To My Body A Book For Boys so she knows what changes both sexes go through.
All you need to do is buy them for starters and when she isn't in her room leave both books on her bed with a note that says something like. "I thought I should share these books with you because you are growing up now. I wish I had them at your age as my mom never talked to me. Let's talk when you are finished reading them."
This way she is not embarassed about it and neither are you. She'll also get the proper instruction and info from them and you can rest assured you have done your job in educating her.
Also, while I have no connection to this site Scarleteen is the best site staffed by qualified experts on sex designed for parents of adolescents and adolescents themselves that has articles on a variety of subjects related to puberty and sex teens want to know as well as forums where parents and teens can ask questions and get guidance.
While your daughter is not old enough to access it you can do so and take the info and articles and use them as a guide to teach her. The site is www.scarleteen.com
At this age most kids her age are just starting to like boys and may be experimenting with touching their own bodies. The books may not address that--I think they do but the subject will eventually have to be brought up.
Anyways, I would buy the books, attach a note and ask her in it to come see you when she is finished with them or while she is still reading them with questions. Let her know in the note that nothing is too embarassing and that you will answer her questions openly and honestly or find information that does.
You'll do fine. Also, just so you know puberty is starting earlier in both sexes but girls seem to start first at age 9 or 10 and pubic hair is normal at this age. She's developing normal and on target.
A girl's first period can start soon after this. That's why most parents are telling their kids the facts of life now. There's nothing dirty or gross about the subject. You have to treat it as such so your daughter gets the right impression and will not be nervous to ask you about puberty and sex.
|
My best friend has guys asking her to hook up all the time, right and left and sometimes i wonder if its because she has big boobs, i mean all they talk about is that she is pretty big, but i feel like being around her makes me realize how much guys dont notice me.
I mean i do have a pretty good amount of friends, but not a lot of guy friends. I really wish that guys would find me attractive, and want to hook up with me and actually have interest in me. But idk how to achieve that. I mean i get told everyday that i look really cute by a lot of girls and that i dress so cute and have like the best style. But i have a feeling it's because im not confident enough with myself and around guys. I'm sorta shy you could say. How can i change that? (link)
|
Obviously you would want guys to like you for the right reasons right? You are not missing out when it comes to the kind of attention your friend is getting. Believe me on that.
If they are only wanting to be with her or around her to "get some" or because she is well endowed than what good is that kind of attention? It's not the kind you need or want and she's blind to the fact she's being used and is popular with guys for the wrong reasons.
You want to be with guys who like you for your personality and ho you are and not "ahem" your assets. How do you know guys don't like you or aren't attracted to you? I have a hunch the right guys are but you haven't noticed the ones under your nose but are focused on a bigger picture or the wrong guys for you.
Guys are more shy than girls when it comes to asking for a date or trying to make friends. They fear rejection more than you do. The best thing to do to get guys to notice is to talk to them about their interests, invite them to parties, movies with pals etc and just talk to them like you would anyone else. It's no different.
The problem is you are too fearful for your own good and they can smell that fear. They may wonder what's wrong with her she's so quiet or doesn't speak to anyone? That's a turnoff. They're not noticing you because you haven't made yourself noticible. Go and talk to them.
If you like certain guysthe easiest thing to do is introduce yourself and press your number, e-mail address, myspace yadda yadda on a small piece of paper into their palm and tell them to chat with you some time.
The interested ones will take you up on that and contact you and those who aren't won't. maybe that would be easier to talk online with them and get confident there first and build on a real-life interatcion and relationships.
|
|
my boyfriend fingered me and ate me out for the first time the other day, hes done it twice since then, but everytime he does im always shaking like really bad. And my arm gets all tingly and i can barely move my fingers. haha that probly seems weird. But When im shaking its not like normal shaking,its like vibrating almost sort of..im not completely sure how to explain it..but anyways he said it was normal..is it? and why were my arms getting that feeling? i know i did hav an orgasm but i dont think that would affect my arms really (link)
|
Don't worry. This is actually a very good thing that is happening to you and one many females only dream of having. Your legs, arms etc and vibrating is normal. You were just having a very intense orgasm from this experience.
Many females don't and cannot experience this so you should feel happy. The vibrating, shaking etc is just how your body reacts to something very intense same thing with tingles and inability to move for a moment. Nothing's medically wrong with you, far from it. Enjoy it, it's all fine, normal, natural.
|
|