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more than a friend?
is there any way to make a best friend see you as more than a friend? even if he is afraid of commitment? i need help please. i hate this feeling. i love him soo much but he send me mixed signals. im tired of this. wen i asked him he said he didnt like me. and he also said that he had problems with commitment. that was before though. now we're even closer friends. he doesnt know i still like him. at one point i was over him, but that didnt last long. my other friend likes him too. but he makes it seem like he likes me. ugh its oh so complicated. hes the best thing that has ever happened to me. im not kidding. i love him (as a friend)and as more than a friend. he makes me feel so special but has no idea of my feelings for him. i cant tell him i dont wanna get rejected again. and my friend, i promised her i was over him.
anyone?
Thanx,
Abb 14/f
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You need to talk to him again. Ask him point blank what exactly is he afraid of? Tell him that fear is holding him back from having a great relationship with someone who adores him. Let him know that if he doesn't act fast that you may not always be there as it's killing you inside.
Just tell him that word for word and tell him you will work with him to get over his fears of commitment or anything else. If that will not work move on, find another guy, find another friend too. As hard as it sounds that's where things are standing. I'm being blunt as either you have to get him to see what he may lose or move on as he's never going to handle his fear.
If he rejects you (which I doubt will happen) just roll with the punches and find someone else worthy of you in the future. He's just one guy in a sea of millions. Is he worth the work you're doing to get him to see?
When it comes to your friend if he's not responding to her signals or doesn't seem interested you are okay. He needs to tell her though that he's not interested in her and is interested in you and let things come out that way.
If you friend is really your friend a guy won't come between either of you ever. At this point if the guy doesn't hook up with you maybe your friend should try for him.
It may be what has to happen for both of you to see he's not right for either of you if doing what I told you above fails to make him your boyfriend. Try it and see what happens but it's time for some hardball and tough love approach.
You've been his friend for ages if he doesn't trust you enough not to hurt him in a romantic relationship or otherwise something's wrong and it's with him not you. I would totally leave this guy alone if he rejected you here. You do however need to try so you can evaluate if he's worth sticking around period.
Just being blunt and honest here. i'm calling it like i see it as I've answered hundreds of questions with the same scenario. if the girl doesn't get tough and go after the fearful or shy guy it won't happen.
Once you can agree that you'll help him with his fears of commiting or anything else that should change his "not into commitment" or "getting hurt" stance with you. Who can you trust if not your best-friend anyway?
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