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Puberty!!!NOOOOOOOOOO
Okay, I am a 29 yr. old mom of a 10 year old daughter. Today I was freaked out when I walked in on her in the bathroom and realized she must have started puberty a long time ago. No period or anything yet but the hair is there. OH MY GOD!! I think this is way too soon, I was 13! I'm so not prepared, I love her and want to talk to her about this maturely, but maturely...shes 10!!!!!!!!My mother never talked to me about these things, when i was 13 I had a ruptured appendix and started my period soon after the surgery, I thought it was from the surgery i was clueless!LOL some advice please?? Thanks
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Apparently your daughter is more comfortable with her pubic hair that you are.
Kids learn more about sex and their bodies at an earlier age than you and your generation did.
Since she has hair now, her menustral cycle shall follow shortly.
Some girls develop nipples at nine, needing a training bra to conceal them through their blouses.
Some girls have periods before breasts, before public hair.
It's all genetics. And she might not be gentically following you but your mother or even paternal side of family.
Try to talk to her about what you've noticed asking her how SHE feels about it--this is not about you, but about her and how she feels, i.e. embarased, ashamed, proud, indifferent, etc.
Use the pubic hair to open the door to the topic of sex and menstrual cycles and what to expect
and to find out the accuracy of what she knows.
The worse thing you want is for her to have misconceptions and misinformation of sexuality and pregnancy and the entire subject.
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Unfortunately the girls of this world today are maturating a lot faster then what girls did years ago.
Although you are not prepared you really do need to be. As you said she is only 10 so she may not understand what is going on herself.
This is where you need to be there for her and make her realise that these sorts of things happen to girls bodies when their bodies start to mature.
She may have lots of questions for you but is too embarrased to ask. You need to make her feel comfortable and talk to her about this.
Don't embarrass her though!
Considering that she is already growing hair, her period may not be that far away.. you never know!
Hope I helped! :)
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when she's at school leave some pads on her bathroom counter and a little note saying thst she can talk to u if she has any questions, and my personal advice is to tell her to go to 'Beinggirl.com'. that website is what got me through it! kuz i live with my dad. and that site really told me everything i needed to know about "stuff".
i really hope i helped! Good luck!
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The fact of the matter is your daughter may know far more about sex and puberty than you think. The problem here is whether or not she's getting that info from the right sources or at all. A lot of what she might know may be murky and or myths.
10-years-old is not too young for her to know the facts of life and about puberty. This is the age 10-13 that sex ed is usually taught at in most schools (well at least info on puberty at her age level). You cannot count on the schools getting across your values and views to her though.
You have to make sure that you are a good mom here and tell your daughter all the things you wish your mother told her to break the cycle from happening again. Your daughter needs her mom to guide her through all this.
Here's what you should do. These books are classics that break down puberty, sex, sexuality for people your child's age and are age apropriate and easy to grasp for them and for you to read together.
The writer is named Lynda Madaris and you will want BOTH books What's Happening To My Body A Book For Girls and What's Happening To My Body A Book For Boys so she knows what changes both sexes go through.
All you need to do is buy them for starters and when she isn't in her room leave both books on her bed with a note that says something like. "I thought I should share these books with you because you are growing up now. I wish I had them at your age as my mom never talked to me. Let's talk when you are finished reading them."
This way she is not embarassed about it and neither are you. She'll also get the proper instruction and info from them and you can rest assured you have done your job in educating her.
Also, while I have no connection to this site Scarleteen is the best site staffed by qualified experts on sex designed for parents of adolescents and adolescents themselves that has articles on a variety of subjects related to puberty and sex teens want to know as well as forums where parents and teens can ask questions and get guidance.
While your daughter is not old enough to access it you can do so and take the info and articles and use them as a guide to teach her. The site is www.scarleteen.com
At this age most kids her age are just starting to like boys and may be experimenting with touching their own bodies. The books may not address that--I think they do but the subject will eventually have to be brought up.
Anyways, I would buy the books, attach a note and ask her in it to come see you when she is finished with them or while she is still reading them with questions. Let her know in the note that nothing is too embarassing and that you will answer her questions openly and honestly or find information that does.
You'll do fine. Also, just so you know puberty is starting earlier in both sexes but girls seem to start first at age 9 or 10 and pubic hair is normal at this age. She's developing normal and on target.
A girl's first period can start soon after this. That's why most parents are telling their kids the facts of life now. There's nothing dirty or gross about the subject. You have to treat it as such so your daughter gets the right impression and will not be nervous to ask you about puberty and sex.
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i was the same age.. 10.. that's normal. it's alright. most kids don't like it when their moms talk to them. but if she's the kind that does like it, go for it. go ahead and stock up on pads, just incase and tell her where they are at and stuff. you could buy her some bras if she doesn't already have them, so she doesn't have to ask. just be cool and she'll appreciate it. lol. if she doesn't shave, now would be the time to start. just buy her a razor, and tell her how to do it, if she wants you to explain. anything else, ask me.. because i'm a teenager lol.
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you should talk to her like a normal adult... kids start these things sooner these days and it is better than she learn these things from you rather than rely on info from her friends which will probably not be accurate and scare her. also, if her period starts soon you want her to know these things and be prepared before it happens. if you do not want to talk to her about some stuff you could buy a book that has all the information she needs and give it to her. the average age to start puberty is around 9 so your daughter is right on track, and probably many of her friends are going through the same thing... so don't worry about exposing her too soon. hope i helped and good luck!
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