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I'm unconfident.
My best friend has guys asking her to hook up all the time, right and left and sometimes i wonder if its because she has big boobs, i mean all they talk about is that she is pretty big, but i feel like being around her makes me realize how much guys dont notice me.
I mean i do have a pretty good amount of friends, but not a lot of guy friends. I really wish that guys would find me attractive, and want to hook up with me and actually have interest in me. But idk how to achieve that. I mean i get told everyday that i look really cute by a lot of girls and that i dress so cute and have like the best style. But i have a feeling it's because im not confident enough with myself and around guys. I'm sorta shy you could say. How can i change that?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
boys like girls who they know will hook up. if you put yourself out there, wear sleazy clothes and talk dirty, then of course boys are gonna notice you. theyre gonna be asking you left and right. is that what you WANT? do you WANT boys hookinh up with you because you have a big chest? i know thats not what I want!! your friend is gonna get her heart broken when she realizes these boys only like her chest. be thankful that when boys DO like you, its for the right reasons, not just beacue of your chest.
xo
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Obviously you would want guys to like you for the right reasons right? You are not missing out when it comes to the kind of attention your friend is getting. Believe me on that.
If they are only wanting to be with her or around her to "get some" or because she is well endowed than what good is that kind of attention? It's not the kind you need or want and she's blind to the fact she's being used and is popular with guys for the wrong reasons.
You want to be with guys who like you for your personality and ho you are and not "ahem" your assets. How do you know guys don't like you or aren't attracted to you? I have a hunch the right guys are but you haven't noticed the ones under your nose but are focused on a bigger picture or the wrong guys for you.
Guys are more shy than girls when it comes to asking for a date or trying to make friends. They fear rejection more than you do. The best thing to do to get guys to notice is to talk to them about their interests, invite them to parties, movies with pals etc and just talk to them like you would anyone else. It's no different.
The problem is you are too fearful for your own good and they can smell that fear. They may wonder what's wrong with her she's so quiet or doesn't speak to anyone? That's a turnoff. They're not noticing you because you haven't made yourself noticible. Go and talk to them.
If you like certain guysthe easiest thing to do is introduce yourself and press your number, e-mail address, myspace yadda yadda on a small piece of paper into their palm and tell them to chat with you some time.
The interested ones will take you up on that and contact you and those who aren't won't. maybe that would be easier to talk online with them and get confident there first and build on a real-life interatcion and relationships.
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I used to have a lot of self concious issues cause my family used to call me fat a lot and I grew up around people who had different body types than I did. I matured quicker than everyone else and in my enviornment it was not as apealing. But then I went to college and everyone thought I was fine. Honestly it is really about you. It is not about your friend. You frined is probably just as insecure about certain things as you are. You gotta look deep within your self and develop a love of you. A pure unconditional love that no one can take away. Get some books or tapes on self help and emotional freedom. Positive thinking things like that. Make a list of things you love about your self and like and think are cute and why you like them and tell your self in the mirror for 30 days in a row right before you go to bed. It will really help. I did it. Just love your self. You love your self and everyone will want to love you to. That is the realness. Watch Tyra Banks hahaha she'll tell you. Peace and Love.
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Wow. I feel the exact same thing. I went to Hurricane Harbor (water park) with my good friend one year, and it was the same. Boys talking to her in her bathing suit, while im standing right there, trying to do something with myself, or trying to engage in the conversation, but that hardly works.
I dont have much advice because you and I are in the same situation.
But, I think that love comes when you are not looking, so to speak. And maybe stop thinking about who likes you and who doesn't, or does he like me or not.
Live your life as if you don't need boys to make you feel better about yourself. Be confident in yourself, and know that you only need you in your world. lol.
You can take strides to make boys to like you. Hang out with them! They will get to know who you are better.
As for the friend-with-boys thing. Really, you can't do much about that. Keep in mind that in the end, the girl with big boobs always gets gyped: has sex, left with a baby and no husband. (Not to put down your friend. lol)
In short, don't think about it. Boys will LOVE you in their own time. Just know it'll come.
Sorry about the lllooooonnnng answer. Hope I helped.
Molly
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