Wife, mother, loyal friend to the end, model, classic car collector. almost 30 years old, and seen alot in my few years here on earth. People usually come to me for advice, and i give in return grounded, realistic answers.
Gender: Female
Location: San diego
Member Since: January 18, 2005
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Last Update: June 30, 2016
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Dragonflymagic
adviceman49
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Is this more than touchy-feely? I was stood with a coworker looking at the sandwich counter. She was stood with her body on mine- her boobs were pressed against me. So was so against me she had to know how close she was basically. Her face was so close to mine while she asked what I was having and we were stood like that for a while. If I turned my head I could have kissed her- that's how close she was. She does this every time we queue or look at something. However this time when we looked for somewhere to sit she says 'where can we sit to look at fit guys' (she's knows I'm a lesbian). We sit but she never mentions guys or breaks her attention from me. Just want to add she never looks for male attention when she is pressed up against me (you know the flirting for the guys thing).
As we walk back, she says that if she sees a fit guy she can't give eye contact as she is scared to give something away.
So I get confused as she gets super touchy with me, like I mention above, also she will touch my hand or grab my arm with both hands when she talks to me. She also gives me so much eye contact. She has started asking me to lunch more often recently too- this is usually just the 2 of us. We do have a really big age gap which she brings up so often and says stuff like "I'm old enough to be your mum" or "I can't believe there are this many years between us" which i find odd that she would keep saying this.
I liked her as a friend for sometime- it was when she told me one time that she didn't know if she liked men or women. She only ever said this once to me and it wasn't brought up again. Although a couple of weeks ago she pointed out a women to me and said that she was hot and she Said she knew that was ok to say to me (im guessing she meant hot in a sexually attractive way as she added the bit about it being ok to say to me). I don't know why but thinking she was straight put me off liking her and since then (months ago) I've built up feelings for her to the point I don't know if she flirts or if I'm hoping she is.
I don't see this behaviour with other people.
So I'm wondering if this is what is meant by a touchy feely person or is there more to it?? I can't decide if she is just affectionate with me or if it's more. Sometimes I wonder if she is horrified about liking another woman and says the guy stuff to play it cool or if she is just straight and she likes me as a friend and I have been misinterpretating. (link)
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Yup. sounds like shes definitely "touchy feelly" which isnt necessarily a bad thing if you both know the boundaries, but it sounds like BECAUSE you dont like men and shes confused about her sexual status she might just be more comfortable about you because she feels like she can be herself.
other then that im not totally sure, it sounds like she could be bisexual though and just really at ease around you.
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So me and my boyfriend have a great sex life and most of the time I'm a huge submissive and him a dominate. However on the odd occasion he's expressed his desire for me to dominate him but I'm not sure I know what to do. So guys or girls if you could give me some tips or moves or whatever to do to be more dominate or thing that's you/your boyfriends enjoy when they are being dominated that would be really cool! Thanks (link)
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try once you get into the bedroom and your about to start, walking towards him, pulling his hat off his head and kissing him while your backing him up towards the bed. Then climb on to him slowly once hes laying on his back on the bed and then start removing clothes. your or his doesnt really matter, as long as YOUR doing it then your the dominate one and it doesnt really matter what you do.
thats all i got for now. good luck.
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I've been dating this guy for a couple of months now. We've been out a bunch of times and I've thoroughly enjoyed every single time I've been out with him. He's a great guy, I enjoy his company and his sense of humor and his sweet side. He opens my car door for me every time, he pays every time we're out, he always drives even though I tell him we can use my car so we use my gas and all of that but he always denies my requests in having me do anything against the norm for him and what we've already established as the norm in our relationship.
Now, my pop pop has been very sick the past few months. He was a stage four cancer patient and it went very downhill, very quick. The one thing I wanted was for this guy to meet my pop pop before he passed and that wish came true. He was getting his hospice things delivered so I had to guy I was seeing come to his house to meet him and have them talk so he wouldn't be watching his hospital bed and oxygen get wheeled into the house and get anxious about it. He and I left to get dinner and when we were done, I told him to just drop me back off at my grandparent's house so he did and when I went back inside, I went into the living room to tell my pop pop I was back and he completely overlooked my presence and said "back alone, I see" meaning I came back inside without the guy I was seeing and he didn't like that because I think he liked him that much when they met.
My pop pop has since passed Wednesday morning, and as I'm not writing that for sympathy or anything of that nature, he and I were very close and the guy I'm seeing knew that. I haven't outwardly told him that he passed but I haven't outwardly told anyone, except the family that I was in charge of calling and letting them know. Most of my friends found out on Facebook or instagram through a post I made about missing him. I just didn't feel comfortable telling my friends "hey, by the way, my pop pop passed." However, I have told the guy I'm seeing multiple things that could only create the assumption that he did pass-such as the fact that I am on my bereavement days from work (which he knows are days after an immediate family member passes since we work at the same place), he even asked why we haven't hung out much lately and I told him that I've been busy ordering flowers and writing a speech for the services. Now, I know that I shouldn't make assumptions about anything, I know I should've outwardly told him if I really wanted him to know so badly. I get that 100%. My mom and dad argue about that a lot, my mom always thinks my dad should know something and he doesn't since she never outwardly told him.
It's just the little things, though. Through me telling him these things, it is to MY understanding that he should know something is up and he hasn't said a single thing or even asked how my poppop is doing. I don't need coddling or him to dote on me, but he knew how much I loved my pop pop and he even personally met him and I think he should have at least told me he was sorry. I keep telling myself that he doesn't really "do feelings" and that he isn't really used to family things (only him and his mom live in the states, the rest of his family is at home in Romania), but I think I'm just more hurt than anything that he has yet to tell me he's sorry or that he's there for me. Even when he knew my pop pop was really sick, I would ask him to hang out just because being with him would make me feel better (again, I didn't outwardly tell him that's why I wanted to hang out) but he and I haven't hung out since the time he met my pop pop which was about two weeks ago.
Thinking about this makes me think about other things that have been irritating me. I know that kind of thought process is bad because then I don't think of the amazing things he does. But at this time, I can't stop thinking about the negative. As you may have noticed, in this entire post, I haven't called him my boyfriend once; we've been out about ten times, we take our breaks together at work, we talk all the time, but we still aren't official. I made the first move in asking him to hang out and talking to him and giving him my number so I'm waiting for him to make the move in asking me to be his girlfriend/kissing me and he just isn't and because of that it feels like we're two friends that just hang out. I do say we're dating because he does call them dates and he has told people at work that we're dating.
My 21st birthday is coming up at the end of August and my brother is planning to take me, my friends and a few of his friends to a casino. So I asked him to go along, he has a managerial position at work so he has to work every Saturday (my birthday is on a Saturday) but he said he was planning to see a concert the Saturday before my birthday and he isn't sure he'd be able to get off two in a row so he said he'd give precedence to birthday when asking off so he could go to my 21st which was very magnanimous of him. But talking to him more about it and telling him the details like the fact that we are going to make it a weekend thing and get rooms there, he's gotten so awkward about it-assuming that it would be he and I getting a room together and that this would be our first "time away" together but now when I try to bring up my birthday, he just gets weird about it and talks about something else where it's getting to the point that I just want to tell him to go on vacation with his other friends because I know they're all going to the beach that same weekend.
Which brings up another valid point, three days ago, his friends were having a cookout and they asked him to go, they told him that he could ask me to go since all of the other girlfriends in that group were there. I went in to work the next day to order pictures for my mom and my supervisor, the guy that I'm seeing's best friend, asked me where we were during their cook out and I told him I had no idea what he was talking about. So I texted the guy I was seeing and he told me that something came up, he couldn't go but even if he could, I'm not part of their bro group yet so I couldn't have gone anyway.
Again, I know I'm not in the best mood, leading me to not think very positively of the whole situation. However, I guess my question is: am I being irrational? I know it seems as though I'm being very cold hearted but like I said, it's just a bunch of little things that are finally adding up and I'm just getting irritated about it all. Lately, I've been getting annoyed at a lot of things that wouldn't normally bother me so I feel bad thinking so poorly of a guy I've thought so highly of but I just can't help it. What do I do? Are these things something that I can just get over in due time if I'm being as irrational as I feel?
I'm 20, he's 23. (link)
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Yeah, sorry but all im seeing here is a whole lot of irrational and emotionally ruled thinking.
People who are ruled mostly by their emotions and what they silently expect others to be able to do for them without saying anything can be unstable people and get themselves to the point your at right now mentally.
If youve only been seeing him a couple of months then there are still rules and guide lines that many people do not cross, LIKE trying to ask you to go out when im sure hes probably CLEARLY picked up on the fact that your father has passed away.
Hes more than likely just trying to give you some space right now so that you can handle your fathers last wishes and business. Theres nothing wrong with that and thats a normal thing. He might be feeling like since he doesnt know you that well that its not his place right now to try to "comfort" you and might feel as though he doesnt want to get in the way.
when it comes to taking trips places with you, he may be feeling that its too soon for him to do something like that with you because things may not be really serious yet. after all its only been a couple months right?? hes probably still in "i need to be a gentleman" mode, and just because he opens doors for you or buys you dinner every time doesnt mean that things are serious, it means that he was taught manners with people or is old fashion.
Its not fair to expect people to just "KNOW" how you expect them to act around you, all your doing is short changing yourself because you make expectations and demands in your head and no one is a mind reader. I still havent heard about about this man that would cause me to think that hes a bad guy or that you should break up with him. Your grieving right now over your father, and everyone handles death differently and so do the people around you who know your going through something difficult some people give you more space while others what to be by your side 24-7. he may not be the 24-7 type so dont give him such a hard time about it. Hes new on the scene in your dating life and might be very nervous still.
good luck and cut the guy some slack, he sounds very nice.
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how to tell if a girl like you or not?
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if shes overly nice, going out of her way to see you as much as she can, asking you to go places with her and hang out alone with you, hugging, kissing, asking you what you look for in a girl or wife and just trying to be as close to you personally as she can thats how.
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name sleeping pills for sucide
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No one here is going to aid you in killing yourself. Please reach out to your school counselor or someone that can help you.
Killing yourself isnt going to fix things or make anything better and your just robbing yourself of what you have the potential to be in the future.
If you need help with whatever is ailing you ask about that not what will help you be self-destructive.
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We're all 16. Me and my bestfriend are both guys. At first, I hated this girl, since she was stealing my bestfriend, but we're cool now. Whenever she gets angry at my bestfriend she goes to me and asks for comfort, and as a friend, I give that to her. The weird thing is, after every time I comfort her, she says "I love you" Then smiles. Is it weird? I think it's just because I'm her bestfriend? PLEASE HELP MEEE (link)
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MMmmm thats not THAT odd, alot of female best friends say i love you to one another. Hell im close to 30 and my best friends and i say it but not all the time and its only in a certain context. like if one of us is struggling and needs help out of a tough spot, or is going through something and needs support.
for a girl to say it to a guy COULD be taken wrong sure. What you could do is play it off and say "aww well i appreciate that thanks" you dont have to say i love you back. She may not be even really in love with you "like that" she may just be so used to saying it with her own friends that she views you as one of them so she just says it.
I dont think its worth hurting her feelings over making a big deal over it. girls say it all the time it just depends on HOW she means it. like when she says it to you does she look you in the eyes and wait for a response?? like shes expecting you to say it back?? or does she say it casually before saying good bye and leaving somewhere?
if its number one, just play it off, and dont say i love you back if you dont love her. Look away as if your busy and just say in a casual joking kinda way "UHUHHH OK TTYL!!" and keep it light hearted see what i saying?
act like your reading what she just said as something thats silly, and dont take it seriously.
if she DOES ever admit to liking you and says something about "what about all those times i told you i loved you???" say that you just assumed that she said that to close friends and didnt take it seriously.
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Okay so I'm 25 female. Skinny and healthy. I've had two kids. I'm recently married to their father. He and I started out on a strict "no strings attached" relationship. We were booty calls and nothing more... But our connection was so strong and powerful. We fell in love immensely! Everything was going great... ESPECIALLY our sex life. We had the same sex drive, same fantasies, same everything. We would have sex between 1-3 times a day for about 5 months straight... No exaggerating!! But then my sex drive just started going down out of no where. It's now been a year since it started and its only gotten worse. To the point where I don't want it at all, ever, that I'm so willing to do almost anything not to have it. He on the other hand if still at square one. So you can imagine the issue. I've talked to doctors. I'm so sick of fighting about it. It makes me feel so undesirable and unattractive. I have tried foreplay, acting out new fantasies, masturbating, porn, etc. Etc. Nothing is working!!! I just want my sex drive back. Even just a little bit. It's truly screwing up what was once a perfect relationship. Please please help me!!! What can I do?? Why do I not have one? Anything???!!! (link)
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I could not agree more with adviceman, its a great idea to ask yourself all those questions, are you in "mom mode" 24-7? are you re-productively healthy?, had your hormones checked? is your man just expecting you to have sex "whenever or where ever"??
Also as we all get older, our sex drive CAN start to wain and thats perfectly fine, and i can understand that being around kids all day doesnt exactly make the perfect set up for intimate time with your mate cause i have a 4 year old boy and and his energy alone can suck the life out of me.
Maybe tell your man that you are just as concerned about not feeling in the mood as he is and that your going to go to the doctor about it just so that he can start to feel like your doing something about it and not just letting things go because you dont care or something. ; )
good luck.
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My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years now. I'm 25 and hes 22. We've had an amazing relationship together. We don't live together yet but have talked about buying a house plenty of times we are just saving up. His parents are divorced, they went through a bad divorce (which maybe this is all stemming from). About three months ago we had a bad fight. He said he just didnt think we were good together anymore and he wasn't happy with some things I was doing. I cried and cried. I asked him what I could do to change this or make things better. Well I did everything he asked, and its everything that bettered me as a person. I thought things were going really well. I haven't been happier. Well two nights ago he said that he just doesnt feel the same as he did when we first started dating. He lost the feelings. He said he needs time to see if breaking up is what he really wants. So right now we are on no contact. Ive cried every night I cant eat because im just sick to my stomach. he said its not me its him. That i have done nothing but support him, love him and do everything right. I said am I not pretty enough? Is it because I gained weight? And he said no your beautiful. I asked if there was someone else and he said absolutely not that hes always been faithful to me and if we were to break up he couldnt even think of being in another relationship for a long time. And he said if he has any doubts of not being together that he would not for one second hesitate to show up at my door step and ask for me back. He also cried the whole time he was telling me all of this. He said he felt sick to his stomach.
Im just heartbroken. I dont know what to do, where we stand. He said he needs a couple weeks to think. Hes the guy I can see forever with and every time I look at him I think of how in love I am with him. I cant picture my life without him. And he knows it. (link)
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This is a tough one but obviously he has strong feelings for you or else he wouldnt be crying while he was telling you all this.
Maybe he has something going on in his life right now thats got him doubting everything?? i mean hes really trying hard to NOT go into specifics here for some reason but if he doesnt know how he feels about you anymore for some odd reason then i think it best to just break things off. Any guy your with should have just as strong feelings for you as you do for him. He sounds like he just got bored because a couple of years in is usually when the "hunny moon" phase wears off and you start to really see each other as the imperfect humans you really are and not perfect gods and goddess like figures.
he may have this type of issue and isnt even aware of it. who knows, and you may not ever really get the answers your looking for.
One thing thats for sure is that your still young and theres still plenty of time to find someone new that will make you feel things again you didnt know you could with someone else.
Maybe since hes clearly taking time for himself, why dont you try to do the same? visit with friends you havent seen for a long time, pick up arts n crafts you love that dont require him or even a partner period. live for YOU right now and before you know it a few weeks will pass and youll be able to re-evaluate things with a clearer head and not rose colored glasses.
Its always nice to be in love but you have to see him for who he really is and who you really are, you cant fall in love with someones potential either, because we all have the potential to be anything or do anything, its weather or not they are up to the challenge and he may not be, he may know it, and he may be realizing some things about himself that hes not loving and could be shamed of it.
good luck ; )
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22 girl.
Been in a relationship for the past 2 and a half years with a guy that is 24 and is great. Funny, intelligent, ambitious, and caring. And things were wonderful until I found out he was talking to another girl ..Texting, snap chatting, face timing.. I talked him he apologized. He then went to the movies with a girl that he went to middle school with that he hadn't seen for years and used to crush on her to "catch up". He tells me all this while im in the ER with my little brother burning in fever like it ws perfectly normal and I was suppose to let it go. Which I did. He then went out of the country to visit a sick family relative and since the girl he met here lives 10 mins from where he was he thought it would be a great idea to meet up with her and go out for drinks with her (he never does that with me, only when he was trying to win me over) and took her to a soccer game (2 years and ahalf and im still waiting for that experience since he loves soccer) the girl he met up with was the girl he was constantly Facetiming. the girl that he was constantly face timing and texting.. That bothered me... I started to get very fed up and stopped caring as much yet he still claims that they're both only his friends and that its all in my head... But my thing is if I were to be the one doing this, he wouldn't even be with me anymore. He constantly asks where I am, who I am with, what I am doing and always questions why.. I don't even get these questions for my dad and when I ask him why he's always questioning me he says its because he cares and if I wasn't hiding anything it wouldn't bother me.Fast-forward - I recently went out with a friend and met this one guy who is a cop. We kind of have the same history and let me tell you that every time I see this guy my heart starts racing.. I love talking to him and how much of a gentleman he is and I just feel so safe around him.. He knows my situation and he's been trying to open my eyes saying something has to be wrong with my bf to not appreciate me. Every tme we are in the same room even if he isn't around me he will still look over make eye contact and smile at me. I love that. All his friends say that there's something there. but im not sure yet. and before I start anything new I need to figure out what im going to do about my current BF. (link)
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It does sound like theres something going on between your boyfriend and this girl or else he wouldnt be taking her out ALONE and there would be no problem with simply waiting for you so that its a good time and you can come along, meet her too, and even become chummy. If hes not hiding anything then he should WANT you to know the same people he knew growing up.
It sounds like hes become smitten with her and bored with you, and he just doesnt have the balls as a man to just come out and tell you that its over. Any serious relationship where people from the past walk back into the picture isnt a bad thing (even if there was a slight crush years and years ago) Because they were very young and people can change alot over time. But he SHOULD want you to also know her and respect your feelings about you not being totally comfortable with them hanging out alone together. He should be proud of the fact that hes found you and that your together and happy and want to show you off to the world, not hide you like your something to be ashamed of. Thats a signal that things are not ok.
I would have said "you can hang out with her but not alone, and you dont have to cut off total contact with her since you have alot of history with her but talking to her all the time every single day period, is not necessary unless your intentions with her are less than honorable. aka (if shes a female friend thats fine but your in a relationship with another female and you wouldnt want to give off vibes that theres something going on with you and her would you??)
then see what he says.
For the most part though it sounds like the relationship has run its course if youve already spoken wiith him on a serious, non-overly emotional way and he still is not listening.
good luck and i hope it works out for you and the new guy that you clearly have feelings for.
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Hello, I'm a 22 year old girl and I think I've had a pretty rough couple years. From my mom passing away from cancer when I was 18 to my sister being told she had cancer at only 24. Let me start from the beginning. When my mom passed 4 years ago I had to assume the responsibilities of keeping the household clean, taking care of my 9 yr old brother at the time and making sure dinner was ready when my dad got home after I left my own job. During that time my dad would have dinner after work and go to the bar have a couple drinks with his friends and come home pretty tipsy. My job was to make sure my little brother didn't get him back since my dad always had a bad temper. My little brother was dealing with things pretty well for a 9 yr old. Always very responsible and willing to help. While Im making sure my brother is getting all his homework done and help with anything he needs my dad is messing around with a girl that was my age. At the time I was 20... To me that was just disgusting. I remember not even being able to look at him. My older sister was then diagnosed with ovarian cancer and let me tell you. Losing the most important person to cancer and then having to go through the whole process again was horrible. I was constantly in distress. Luckily the same way it appeared it went away without any treatments. The only way I knew of how to gather my thoughts together was by "shutting down" getting home, putting my sweats pants on grab a book and just read.. or write. Now I'm 22 and have been in a relationship for 2 and a half years and things were wonderful in the beginning ofcourse. But after catching him talking to other girls and him always wanting to know what and with who I am doing anything I started to shut down again. He seems to not understand it and its starting to take a toll on me. I'm starting to question if I'm losing my mind for dealing with things like this. It also takes a lot for me to shut down.. help seriously appreciated. (sorry for the long "question") (link)
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Im so sorry for your loss. I too lost my mother to breast cancer just 3 years ago. She was my best friend and the world just seems like a different place without her. In the first few months after she died, it did not matter where i was or what i was doing, i would think of her and just break down and be crying my eyes out and my husband would have to take me home, even even we were on the freeway on our way somewhere. I was emotionally so very delicate at the time so i can understand that sort of loss.
after your mother passed, some type of grief counseling should have been offered to your whole family. It sounds like you are all a bit lost and could use some family counseling to help you pull together and get through the loss as a family, not go off in different directions and try to deal with it yourselves in your own little corners. I know it seems like that might be the easiest thing to do and people can try to pretend like their "ok" and that their "over it" and that life goes on but it can really effect people on a level sometimes that they dont even realize because they themselves are still trying to process and digest the fact that this treasured family member is just GONE and not walking this earth anymore.
It might help your family to learn how to reconnect and figure out whos role is who's now because your mother cant fulfill hers anymore and to put it all on you isnt really fair, the counselor might be able to get your dad or other family members to step up and realize that you have alot on your plate too and not everything needs to automatically be put on you.
Now i dont necessarily agree with anti-depression meds but if thats what you really need and some therapy then it needs to be done.
maybe try to gather your family up on special occasions like you mothers birthday, and do something special just for her so that you can honor her in spirit. maybe when her birthday rolls around each year you can buy some pretty flowers and have them on display in your house so that everyone can see that they can still honor her even though shes not with you anymore, but that it would make her happy in spirit to know that you did that.
These small happy moments can make a huge difference in everyone over time. Maybe do things she used to love to do with your siblings for her to help you all feel closer to her.
After my mother died i grew a whole garden right outside my apartment door in a patch of dirt no one cared about. I did this while i had a seizure condition, and felt completely broken down as a person, and i still have that garden. I sometimes buy plants from the store to place in the garden as well as a hummingbird feeder to hang there. it helps me to feel closer to her because she was an avid gardener and loved feeling close to nature.
you'll get through this....even if you have to grab your family and pull them with you along the way......good luck = )
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ok so i guess the title is pretty self explanatory, however i'll give some background; I'm 17 f and my boyfriend and i are thinking of having sex, i thought it would probably be a good idea to go on the pill for obvious reasons. however i have always had trouble with my weight and the way i see my self. i know its mainly down to personal insecurity and my boyfriend says I'm beautiful no matter what i look like. but I'm still worried for my own vanity that i will notice a physical difference in my appearance. i want to find an effective method of birth control but i also want to feel secure about my body.
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I say find a birth control that works for you. I unfortunately was one of the women who did gain weight and had no interest in sex when i was on the pill, then when i switched and tried the shot, i was tired, STILL had no interest in sex and just wanted to sleep and eat all the time.
My now husband noticed it and grew concerned because i AM very sensitive to meds though and always have been. Dont let that scare you though, and just try what you think will work. Birth control is also his responsibility as well not just yours unless your planning to just have sex with yourself. ; ) lol.
usually condoms are enough, but its totally up to you.
good luck.
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I have a staff infection on my armpit, and my doctor said I cannot use deodorant on that armpit. Is there anything I can use to not smell, aside from perfume? I'm really self conscious about showing my face outside. I do not want to cover it up with perfume though. I'd truly appreciate any advice. Thanks! (link)
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actually if you can get to a health food store like henrys or sprouts (idk what they call those stores now the name changes so often) they have a section for health and beauty and theres a deodorant that looks like a small clear crystal that you can rub on the skin and should work for what you need. My mom used to use those all the time. Just walk in and ask if they have like the "natural deodorant" there. maybe its near where the vitamins are and the natural tooth paste.
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I am 15. He is 16. I live in the USA.I am pretty sure I like this guy, who is obviously shy. I don't get to see him much because of my parents. And we don't go to the same school. And he is my best friends cousin. She said they talked, and to be honest, I didn't really want him to know I like him. So, apparently he said he used to like this girl, and he isn't sure if he likes me. I honestly don't know what to think of it all. My family is weird about dating, and I have trust issues. I am also very innocent when it comes to dating. And like I said I am pretty sure I like him, honestly it could be a crush or something. I don't know. And thanks. (link)
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Well all you can do is go with what your feelings tell you, and maybe just try to be his friend first.
dont friend zone him but be open to what he says and try to get to know him. If you want any kind of relationship with a guy your going to HAVE to learn to put yourself out there and little and see what comes back. Just like how guys have to do the same, its a two way street.
Maybe make jokes and try to find ways to relate to him to break the ice so that you can talk more.
good luck ; )
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Hey guys and girls its me again.
I have a question.
So my mom has a guy friend now that has 5 kids and a wife 4 girls plus the mom and he says that he wants me to talk to him when I feel down and he also said that I can call him anything that I want so does that mean that he wants to be a father figure for me and try and take care of me like one of his own kids. (link)
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yeah im gonna agree with the other poster here, this doesnt sound good. He has five kids of his own to worry about and your not one of them. Its nice of him to offer but you need advice and guidance from someone who plays a different role.
i would just kindly say thank you and when you feel the need to ask for advice you will and then just never do. if he starts hitting you up and trying to talk to you then tell your mom your not comfortable with it and to tell him to stop.
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I don't know how to tell my dad about my period (link)
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does he give you an allowance?? if so you could ask him for one or a little bit more because you just started having your "time of the month" and "need to buy supplies". lol
trust me on this one. most men will NOT ask you to go into more detail about it then that and will either offer to buy what you need FOR YOU, or they'll toss you a 20, so that you can go to the store and buy pads yourself. If he says 20 is too much tell him thats because you "dont know what kind you feel comfortable with yet and will need to try different types" (different types of pads) and if you need pain killers youll need a few bucks for a bottle of those too.
the best thing you can do here is just be honest with him about it, he'll think you really feel like you can come to him with things like this and may even think higher of you for being so adult about the whole thing.
Maybe pick a time while your alone with him and your out in the car running errands to tell him that youll need to buy pads soon because your time of the month has started to come now, so while your at the store you can run through that isle and (if he's willing to go with you to pick them out) he can see how much they run for night time pads and daytime ones. idk anything about your dad so i can only give you different ways to approach him like going with you to the store, of if he'd rather not "thats ok too" and tell him that you can go by yourself if he "feels uncomfortable with it".
try to understand that for HIM this may come as some what of a big shock too. His little girl is now starting to REALLY turn into a woman, and all tho he may not show it, he's probably feeling it and just not saying it. (((men can be very quiet about their true feelings until things really sink in sometimes)))
If your sitting around with him watching tv just hanging out maybe wait until a commercial and then say "hey i wanted to talk to you about something real quick. Im gonna need to stop by the store and get some pads soon cause that time of the month has started to come for me real regularly now" and just see what he says. If its a huge shock and hes like WHA?!?! then say try to comfort him and say "its ok you dont have to go with me to the store i can do all that on my own, i understand this can be weird for guys" and try to be confident and act like its not a big thing and stay calm. He might actually be wondering why you havent hit him up about it yet too!
good luck and just try to let him know that this is not a big deal and that youve got it handled, you just need a few bucks so that you can take care of it and there doesnt need to be any further discussion on it if he doesnt have any questions.
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Dear readers i need help!!! I'v been masterbating sence i was eight years old and now im 12 and still javent gotten my period will i ever??? Was i masterbating to much and caused a effect on myself so i wont get it??? Im worryed i wont ever get it ...plz help asap thnx. (link)
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no amount of masturbating would cause you to no longer have your period. You probably just lost track of when its due and now your freaking. it'll be fine, and sometimes if you have irregular periods (like some months they are really light, really heavy or you dont get it at all) then thats probably whats happened unless you had unprotected sex.
you should be fine other wise ; )
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I'm a 13/F
Scenario: My girlfriend says I'm exactly like a younger version of her because we have a lot in common, and it scares her because she thinks I'm going to leave her. She almost left me because she doesn't want to lose me from me leaving her. It's hard to show her that I really care and am loyal to her because
1. She lives 3 hours away from me.
2. My dad's trying to take away my iPod permanently, so it's hard to text her because I can't use the app I talk to her on, and it's hard to get anyone to understand me.
I just want her to know that I'm devoted to her and that she means everything to me.
Question: How do I make sure my girlfriend knows I love her and don't plan on leaving her?
(link)
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I agree with dragonfly here, but i also think that at your age you literally CANT really promise anything can you?? you cant even manage to keep a device in your own possession to be able to contact her consistently. At this point the ball is in her court completely because if she doesnt feel your giving it your all then shes going to get what she needs else where, thats just how humans are.
Its no ones fault, except time and distance changing things that will MAYBE fix this and put the two of you closer to each other.
your not an adult, living on your own, or have any means to visit her, and im going to assume the she doesnt either because your both so young.
its very hard to have a serious relationship with someone when you have pretty much no control over your own life because your still living at home, and your not an adult, so i say for now as harsh as this is going to sound you should just let her go. Theres nothing you can do for someone who constantly thinks your going to leave them, obviously she doesnt know what loyalty is, or doesnt trust that your capable of it so i wouldnt put myself through the grief.
good luck and i hope things turn out better for you in the future. ; )
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you say it is selfish to commit suicide. you must not have had chronic pain or be so lonely nothing matters. it is people like you that are selfish. you pretend there are no issues and would like a loved one to live in pain or depression just because you do not want to lose them. life with depression is difficult or chronic pain is unbearable. there is no quality of life. you are the selfish one (link)
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Im not sure who your referring to here when you come here saying that we're selfish. you obviously dont know the admins or mods here but it sounds like you need help. On a professional level too i might add.
You come here asking no questions, and in doing that you know that theres nothing we can say to help you. we're called advicenators for a reason we give advice to those who need it. you do not obviously because you would have ASKED A QUESTION. so if you have one.....please...share it...
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There is this guy at my mom's work and I like him, and I heard through the grapevine he likes me back. I was ecstatic and despite my being insecure, I built up the courage to ask him out. I asked my mom about how he would feel me asking him out. She made a face and said "I wouldn't right now." I asked why and she said "He was with his ex all day yesterday. They have been hanging out for the past couple of days." I felt crushed. I debated this for days just to have my sandcastle crushed. My mom says it might be nothing, but the ex is a troublemaker and I should try to wait it out before asking him. I feel like a fool and I don't know what to do. Any advice would be welcomed!
(link)
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Well you dont have to be totally crushed by this, she could be a troublemaker YES, but you could still be his friend just to get close to him to see what the deal is. Try to find other common interests you might share with him and then see if you can add him on FB or something that gives you a main line way through the net thats NOT his phone number to keep in contact with him outside of his work.
find ways to relate to him and get him to really open up and like you more and more. the only way youll be able to really find out whats going on is if you can get him away from work and away from his girlfriend or chatting with him somehow so that he'll open up.
it doesnt have to work out RIGHT NOW for him to consider you as a potential girlfriend in the near future. his ex is an ex for a reason, so if thats the case then he's up for grabs. Its just weather or not he feels like being in a relationship right now that will really make the difference here, i dont think you'd wanna be in a relationship with someone whos newly single and still possibly feeling "fragile" emotionally. So just try to continue to be his friend right now and when the time is right youll be one of the first girls he thinks of when he thinks of dating again. = )
youll be ok, if its meant to be then he'll see a cute girl with a sparkling personality and nothing else will matter. good luck. ; )
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My boyfriend has had trust issues with me. He believes I violated him multiple times with the same issue, which I have, in a way, with another guy. You see, I'm in a little local band within my community and one of the members and I were close friends. I went through some problems with the "boyfriend" I have now and the other guy was just trying to be a good friend to get me through it. He eventually started to develop feelings for me. I told him I didn't like him like that or would ever see myself with him. At first he was upset. (He wasn't too fond of my boyfriend, though we're all in the same group together) But he eventually got over it and told me he'll be there when he needs me. My boyfriend was furious that I even let the other guy into my life to try to turn my mind away from him. We had lots of issues, my boyfriend and I, and he was being really neglectful. He left the state for months to get away from me at the start of our relationship, when I thought things were getting better. When he came back permanently, I welcomed him back with open arms but he told me that I had to give up talking to the other guy completely. Tell me if it makes sense that for someone who I have to see all the time, I should stop talking to him completely? For someone who's done nothing but be there for me, I had to stop talking to him. His only mistake he ever made was falling for me. And he knew it. But my boyfriends hatred for him never went away. I did speak to the other guy on occasion behind my boyfriends back, because I knew I was doing something wrong but neglecting him. My boyfriend doesn't see it that way. He threatened to leave every time he found out we've been talking. Some drama happened within the band lately and it was sparked by me unintentionally (lesson learned) and I carried some news to the other guy. My boyfriend learned of it and hates me now, says I never stopped talking. Thing is, he said he doesn't love me anymore but doesn't want me to leave him. Says I have to try to gain his love again but he doesn't expect it will happen. He curses and me, calls me names, taunts me, tells him I'm worse than dirt but he doesn't want me to leave him. My boyfriend isn't perfect, he has a LOT of faults in himself, many which have been pointed out by other people that I've seen for myself and yet I still love him. Even with him being nasty and rude to me, I still love him. I know you will say I shouldn't stand for it but I want him to love and trust me again. It will take time. Am I wrong for still having faith? He will make me suffer for it but I think I deserve it. I left the band and so did he and others for drama reasons. I don't know what to do. I hate myself so much for what I did and my bf has even supported my hatred in myself. What do I do? (link)
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Ok you have some reflecting and looking inward to do here.
ask your self, how long can you put up with him treating you like that just to gain his love back which (as he said himself) may not even work? a week, a month? a few years?? thats a long time isnt it??
How much do you value yourself and your own happiness?? because its GOING to get taken from you if you stay with him i can almost assure you of this because he wants you to stay so that i can control you, and isolate you from others around you. Trying to make you no longer talk to people that you dont deem as a threat to you isnt "his feelings being hurt" its called him trying to use love as a leverage to get you to do what he wants. You sound smart and like you already know the answer here, you just dont want to admit it to yourself which can be hard i know.
You shouldnt hate yourself for still wanting to talk to a band member, you need to tell him right off the top that YOU will make the call on who you choose to talk to and who you dont. its YOUR life not his, and he has not right to rule your social life in ANY aspect.
HE IS however allowed to let you KNOW how he feels about someone, and you can then reply back that you will "consider his view on this person" but unless this person crosses a personal boundary with YOU and your body then YOU will make that call and if he cant handle that then he can walk.
Trust me on this, this kinda shit always starts with him just wanting for you to not talk to one or two people and then grows exponentially over time and ALWAYSSSS uses things he knows will hurt you against you. you need to be strong and confident and law down the law with this fool, or else this kinda thing will just get worse and he will box you in and box you in until you find yourself without friends and lonely because of him.
many people think that they can make their partner their WHOLE happiness and that could not be further from the truth. If you do that, youll always be let down because we're all human, we have flaws, and because we are "afraid of being alone in life" we "settle" for whoever will toss a little "love" our way (and i use the term love LOOSELY here because it sounds like he doesnt really love you at ALL) and like hes more in this for the sake of having control over another person.
ask yourself WHO THE heck wants you to do what they say in order to appease them but makes no promise that they will love you again?? what kind of a person DOES shit like that??
im sorry for the harsh words but ive seen way too many of my friends go through this exact same situation before and i really do feel for you here. you HAVE to get yourself out now because if you dont, he will make you feel so down on yourself that youll think your not worth more and you ARE! you deserve to be happy and make your own choices! life is too short for BS like this, and im sure you dont want to go from having one parent who told you want to do as a kid to ANOTHER as an adult.
something to chew on. good luck ; )
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