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Is it ok for your bestfriend's girlfriend to say "I love you" to you?
We're all 16. Me and my bestfriend are both guys. At first, I hated this girl, since she was stealing my bestfriend, but we're cool now. Whenever she gets angry at my bestfriend she goes to me and asks for comfort, and as a friend, I give that to her. The weird thing is, after every time I comfort her, she says "I love you" Then smiles. Is it weird? I think it's just because I'm her bestfriend? PLEASE HELP MEEE
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You have to define the relationship for yourself before letting her sneak you into a sideways profile of a relationship. Sometimes people find it alluring to befriend others for the purposes of cheating on their spouse or significant other but there is hope for a better tomorrow if we are were just a little more honest about our feelings. Try shutting her down to see if she responds differently then you can understand whether she is seeking to guide you into a relationship with her on the side or just trying to be friends.
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It's the way how girls act. Girls say to friends all the time "i love you" thats just how we are. It might be because of her personality (kind, nice,polite). If it really bothers you ask her "why I love you" and she will explain. Overall there is nothing to worry about.
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It may just be part of her personality or her up bringing. Maybe its what she observed growing up in her family. If you really don't know her that well, that could explain it.
If on the other hand she is not consciously trying to do something bad but subconscious is liking or entertaining the idea of her boyfriend (your best friend) feeling jealous when shes upset and goes to you, there might be a problem. I don't know your friends temperament or trust level with you, but guys can get territorial and he could easily become jealous over her running to you for comfort or understanding and then saying I love you instead of thanks for helping or understand as most would say if grateful.
Watch how often it happens. It just could be that she starts coming to you more often because she is unable to get both important things needed in a healthy relationship...the best friend part with the opposite sex, and the romance part with the opposite sex. They just may have the romance part down but the two don't understand each other or treat each other like best of friends simply because they differ too much in that area. This will mean at some point she may realize this and dump him for you if the romance is there too or just lean heavy on you as her emotional support and friend, not date your best friend, and find another guy.
All this could possibly create bad blood between you and your friend.
I can't really say what might be best. but at least let her know you aren't comfortable with her saying i love you.
If this comfort involves mostly just explaining things from a males perspective or helping her to understand your best friend better, then all is good. If you are sympathizing and taking her side, or saying words of agreement regarding things your friend did wrong or bad behavior of his, then there's gonna be a problem. If your girlfriend were running from you to a friend for that kind of 'comfort', you may not be very happy at all. So if its all on the level kind of stuff and your best friend is unawares that she comes running to you when upset, there may come a point that its better that your friend find out from you that this is happening, rather than discover it on his own and misinterpret that you're trying to steal his girl away., Misunderstanding is something we all do or did at your age, so I can see this possibly coming down the road.
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If it's making you uncomfortable, ask her to stop.
It could be totally normal and harmless, but it's okay to trust your gut. If you don't like it, tell her kindly that although you are very dear friends and care for her, you are uncomfortable with the love word in your friendship. (Especially if she's only pulling it out when she's upset with her boyfriend.)
It's okay to stand up for the kind of boundaries you want in your own relationship.
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MMmmm thats not THAT odd, alot of female best friends say i love you to one another. Hell im close to 30 and my best friends and i say it but not all the time and its only in a certain context. like if one of us is struggling and needs help out of a tough spot, or is going through something and needs support.
for a girl to say it to a guy COULD be taken wrong sure. What you could do is play it off and say "aww well i appreciate that thanks" you dont have to say i love you back. She may not be even really in love with you "like that" she may just be so used to saying it with her own friends that she views you as one of them so she just says it.
I dont think its worth hurting her feelings over making a big deal over it. girls say it all the time it just depends on HOW she means it. like when she says it to you does she look you in the eyes and wait for a response?? like shes expecting you to say it back?? or does she say it casually before saying good bye and leaving somewhere?
if its number one, just play it off, and dont say i love you back if you dont love her. Look away as if your busy and just say in a casual joking kinda way "UHUHHH OK TTYL!!" and keep it light hearted see what i saying?
act like your reading what she just said as something thats silly, and dont take it seriously.
if she DOES ever admit to liking you and says something about "what about all those times i told you i loved you???" say that you just assumed that she said that to close friends and didnt take it seriously.
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