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I want to assure my girlfriend that I don't plan on leaving her
I'm a 13/F
Scenario: My girlfriend says I'm exactly like a younger version of her because we have a lot in common, and it scares her because she thinks I'm going to leave her. She almost left me because she doesn't want to lose me from me leaving her. It's hard to show her that I really care and am loyal to her because
1. She lives 3 hours away from me.
2. My dad's trying to take away my iPod permanently, so it's hard to text her because I can't use the app I talk to her on, and it's hard to get anyone to understand me.
I just want her to know that I'm devoted to her and that she means everything to me.
Question: How do I make sure my girlfriend knows I love her and don't plan on leaving her?
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I agree with dragonfly here, but i also think that at your age you literally CANT really promise anything can you?? you cant even manage to keep a device in your own possession to be able to contact her consistently. At this point the ball is in her court completely because if she doesnt feel your giving it your all then shes going to get what she needs else where, thats just how humans are.
Its no ones fault, except time and distance changing things that will MAYBE fix this and put the two of you closer to each other.
your not an adult, living on your own, or have any means to visit her, and im going to assume the she doesnt either because your both so young.
its very hard to have a serious relationship with someone when you have pretty much no control over your own life because your still living at home, and your not an adult, so i say for now as harsh as this is going to sound you should just let her go. Theres nothing you can do for someone who constantly thinks your going to leave them, obviously she doesnt know what loyalty is, or doesnt trust that your capable of it so i wouldnt put myself through the grief.
good luck and i hope things turn out better for you in the future. ; )
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Some people can not be reassured no matter how many times you promise or prove yourself by your actions.
In your case, your only way of having a relationship with her is thru electronic means, through todays technology.
You are growing up in a time of lots of technology. I grew up when TV didnt have cable, there were no computers, cell phones, ipods or tablets. So when I was your age, I had to learn to relate to the people that were close to me, in my neighborhood and in my school. I had to learn how to spend time with them in person, doing things together which is way different than reading text or seeing pics and comments posted on various social media sites of today. I use todays technology too and love it for many reasons. But it could never be a good substitute for an in-person relationship. You miss the tone of voice, the facial expressions, the body language in conversation for one thing. My list of issues could go on. What I am trying to say is that to gain trust, it really cant be done over the net but truly only in person. there are too many variables with long distance relationships.
At your age, it is also a fact that the majority of relationships do not last but weeks if months. Rarely do two people meet at age 12 to 14 the person they are going to marry and have kids with. HS sweethearts is possible but they are such a minority that I am willing to bet each graduating class has only one such couple.
I am sure there must be more to the story as to why Dad is wanting to take away your IPod. Perhaps you do not socialize enough with your own family or acknowledge them, on the Ipod 24/7, and parents want to bring a balance into your life, perhaps there are things expected of you, home work time, better grades, doing a set of assigned chores? Usually parents do not give their kids something only to take it away for no good reason. They have a reason, whether it makes sense to you or not. I can't tell until you tell me the whole story if there's something you can do to get use of the ipod. Is there no laptop or other desk computer in the house? Perhaps you could gain permission to use it to contact her. Whatever one can do on an iphone or other contraption with special apps, will have the same programs just for pcs. You just log on a different way.
Let me know and i'll see if I have any input for you on how to get to keep ipod in your possession.
As for the girl, all you can do is be consistant in chatting with her. Thats the best you can do. If this online relationship continues on for many months, 6 or more, you might both talk to your parents about the possibility of meeting each other.
My oldest daughter did that exact same thing when she met a guy online she liked. He lived two states away. However his family had relatives in our state. He want his wishes known to meet my daughter. It wasnt instantly it happened but when summer came along, Dad had more vacation time than Mom so while she worked, he took all the kids on a trip to see their relatives and took two days out to come meet us and take our daughter along with him to have time with her boyfriend. It may not happen for you. But it is worth trying. Somewhere in 3 hrs time from you there must be a place to camp this summer or go visit for a weekend. If her parents were willing to let her spend time with your family, and your parents were willing to do this, then you'd have something fun to look forward to. Otherwise, all you have is being consistantly on line for her, with balance, taking time to see to whatever is expected of you by parents to keep the ipod.
I dont think there are any magic words you could write that would assure your girlfriend of how you feel about her. I believe you. What you feel right now is very real. What I felt as a girl in my 20s for a husband was very real. But due circumstances, I slowly lost my love for him. Its possible hon, at any age for a person's feelings for someone to change and to fall out of love. So though we are compelled to promise we plan on never leaving someone...life happens and things change. What you can do, is promise to give your all to the relationship each day that fate allows you to be together. When I say fate, what I am saying is that I have no guarantee that the husband I love will be with me to the day I die. An accident could happen where I could lose him to death. We've had 2 scary calls already where things could've turned out worse. So when you promise to never leave a person, fate may take that choice away from you.
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