Sometimes my advice is good advice, and sometimes it's just an opinion. Sometimes people don't take good advice (ironically.) If everybody would just talk to each other, we'd have world peace, so you probably won't see "just talk to them" in my column.
I worked as a Registered Nurse for a few years so I know a little about health.
I think and read about spiritual things. I answer spiritual questions without trying to convert anyone to my own beliefs. I'm a non-denominational Christian, but I believe everyone has a path to follow, and God is patient, so I answer spiritual questions from where you are.
Gender: Female
Location: FL
Occupation: Old wise woman
Member Since: January 12, 2004
Answers: 327
Last Update: June 8, 2006
Visitors: 16198
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Ok, for awhile I wanted my ex back, but I see how him and his new girlfriend are, and I can't help, but laugh. Is this me getting over him, or do you think it's jealousy? (link)
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It sounds like you are getting over him.
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My live in gives me a preset amount of money every other week to help with expenses. He indicated the company he works for had not given him his overtime. After thinking about it, it occurred to me that he doesn't always get OT and he still gives me the preset amount. This bothered me so I looked in his pockets for his pay stub. Well, they did pay his overtime. His take home was considerably more than he said. Why would he lie about this? I didn't ask how much he got paid, he went out of his way to tell me. If he needed the money for something else, he should have just said he needed it and couldn't give me the usual amount. I never question him about his check. In fact he set the amount he wanted to give me and told me when we started to live together that if he couldn't pay that amount he would let me know, whatever the reason. I feel the only reason he would lie is he was doing something he shouldn't be. How do I approach this? I am really bothered. (link)
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Lying is doing something he shouldn't, and not paying his way is also doing something he shouldn't. If he is doing more than that (and he probably is) it's beside the point. You know now he is dishonest, and not dependable where it comes to finances. Weigh these bad points against his good points, and decide what you want to do, continue on this path or end it, because I really believe if you confront him, things will only get worse.
My personal opinion is - I would tell him that it isn't working and you want him to move out. Then he will ask why. Tell him he has not been dependable finacially and you know he is dishonest. You don't have to tell him you went through his pockets because he will get mad. But it is really up to you if you want to put up with this.
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Well, the category isn't actually right. He was more than just my boyfriend, he was a really good friend. And today, he moved and transferred schools. He said he still wanted to go out with me, but it will just be so hard. I may get to see him on the weekends and stuff like that, and we'll e-mail eachother, of course. But it will be hard not being able to see him everyday as usual. So, do you think we should break up? Because I know for a fact that other guys like me and want to go out with me...What do I do? (link)
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It sounds like you do want to break up with him, and just want to be reassured that this is the right thing to do. Just tell him that you want to be friends now.
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Can someone give me some names for a girl and a boy, please? I love writing stories, but I don't know any good names! PLEASE help! (link)
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Here is a website for a random name generator:
The Random Name Generator
If you want more, just put "Random name generator" in any search engine, like yahoo, or google.
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ok jessica my friend to me nick liked me and ect. then she asked if he asked for my number should she give it to him. i said no, but then the next day jessica and her boyfriend andrew called me (3-wayed) the andrew to jessica to leave the phone for a minute and he started askin if i would have a 3- some wit him and jessica since jessica isn't good in bed(me and jessica play like we go out but we are 2 gurls and we arent that way) then he asked if i would have sex with him, then he asked if i would ahve sex with him and nick, and then askd if i would have sex with nick. for like teh whole time he was askin where he stands with him and nick ect. well after a while andrew and jessica wanted to chat on the phone together. like 20minutes passed and nick calls sayin he got the number from jessica but says she mixed the last four numbers. at school the next day i was messin with andrew cause i promised i would (the day before he said he got jealous cause nick had his arm around me). nick tried to mess wit me to after andrew tried to undo my bra with his hand again and nick tried to do it and i wouldnt let him adn he got mad i think cause he left. andrew grab my hand and walked me near nick and like pushed me on him and nick like gave andrew a dirty look. well this is really confusin but like wuts goin i dont like either and andrew has a gurl but always ask me if i want a 3-some with him and his gurl andi yelled at jessica the other day cause of it and now i dont know wut to do i left he a message sayin sry but i dunno if she will forgive me. and grrrr... it just suxs so thanks for readin and hope you have an answer i can use (ALL NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED) (link)
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It sounds like you really don't want to have them messing with you. I would tell them not to, you have had enough. If they still try, either avoid them, or tell someone. They sound like they are taking advantage of you.
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I have been friends with this guy for 6 years ever since i was 9 as we got older things started to change i started to like him for more than a friend. he is the guy that when i see him i always feel better i haved some major medical problems and afterwards he always cheers me up but latly he hasen't been comming to his moms house that much so i don't get to see him but once a month i don't know what to do? (link)
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Can you call him on the phone? Maybe he has other interests lately that are keeping him occupied. If you talk to him, and find out why he hasn't been around, you will probably feel better. But if you want to let him know that you are thinking of him as more than a friend, be prepared if he doesn't feel the same way.
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I told my friends and family that I was thinking of becoming a lesbian and they just laughed. What do i do to make them believe me? (link)
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Thinking of becoming a lesbian isn't the same as being a lesbian. And if you were a lesbian, what is the point of announcing it to your friends and family? You either are, or you aren't, and whether they take you seriously or not makes no difference.
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HERE IT GOES!!
I answer Questions but its time for YOU to HELP me.
I know this guy "Keagen" and I totally like him! I THINK he likes me but I can't be sure! I don't know of I should tell him how i feel or not. we can't date til' were 16 but thats not the problem. I mean we have been alone togather before and stuff but its hard for me to really know. when i think of him i feel as if im floating and there is nothinkg better in the world than thinking of him! i have this feeling at pit of my stomic when ever ithink of him i can't get rid fo it! i think of him even if im trying not too! when he see's me he is allways watchinkg me and when he looks at me its different then when other guys look at me. his voice sound TOTALLY different when he talks to me. its like he is be EXTRA sweet to me! and he is guy that goofs off ALOT! i just don't know what to do! last year i sent him a valentine marked and "the cat" well the next time he saw me he said "hello cat" well i lied and said that i didn't send him a card but when told him that his face just fell! like he was dissapointed! so I REALLY need some advice! PLEASE help! should i tell him or not? PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sincerely
KATHLEEN (link)
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Tell him, but still stay friends anyway, since you can't date until your are 16.
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How come there is no boys asking questions? I'm a guy and I have a question... anyways... I'm kinda shy when the topic asking girls out comes up. I'm 13 and I dont ever think im going to get a girlfriend, because im so scared on what would i do if i asked someone out and then they said yes? i mean i dont know how to make out and stuff like that... what should i do? (link)
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I think you should wait until you are really comfortable with a girl before you ask her out. You don't really need a girlfriend. About making out, if you get to the point where you ask a girl out, and you feel like the occassion is right, then you might try kissing. You don't have to "make out" and make an event of it. You just learn by experience, and you don't need to feel so rushed.
Boys cheat on girls because they are not ready to be committed to one girl. And girls do the same thing. When you are 13 it isn't like you are going to marry them. I think there is too much pressure to have a girlfriend and be committed.
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I know this guy lets call him CTW and i told me friend to call him she did and she told him i liked him... i do. and i don't know him that well but i'm in 7th grade and he rode my bus in 5th grade he's been at a couple partys and i think he's really nice. There is only one thing, i think he has some brain problems cause my friend said he is dangerous and he spazes out and hurts people while he spazes like on purpose but uncontolably he is going to sit at our lunch table when he is unsuspended for punching this kid but He would never purposly hurt someone. I know he will go out with me i just am not sure. can someone help me? (link)
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Do you know how often and why he "spazzed out" and hurt people? If it was once, and there was extenuating circumstances, and it isn't likely to happen again, then I would just try to get to know him. But if you have heard of more than one occassion, just be his friend, and keep a little distance. He may be more trouble that you need.
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What do I do if a boy likes me who I don't like back? He wrote me notes in math class...had his friend give me one and he gave me one himself.
I keep complaining about this but its just annoying. I feel nothing...its feels like somethings missing whenever he looks at me...like somethings not right. I have NO feelings for him.
Everyone either tells me to stop complaining or
give him a chance but it's not that great when someone likes you and you DONT like then back. I don't really feel something when a boy likes me unless I like him the same way....so it's not that great. He still comes up to me and waves and says Hi *******! and I just wave and he like giggles or some weird thing. I mean...he's a really nice kid but nothings there...I feel like i want to cry...I have no clue why. Is this normal? I don't like him and I'm absoulutely sure about this...100%. I like someone else...and I don't know, whenever I see him my stomach twists and turns because I dont want him to give me another note or actually come up to me and ask me out...so I avoid him. I just don't want to deal with this...I don't want to turn him down...every girl turns him down and I feel so bad. But then again if I did go out with him nothing would be there anyway so there would be no point to that. I like another kid so much but i just have to get up the courage to at least smile at the boy.
errg! I'm so frustrated! I DON'T WANT ANY MORE NOTES! what do i do? And I'm NOT going to give him a chance because he has admitted to liking a whole bunch of girls just last week and even if I did like him it wouldn't be real if we went out...and last I heard he was going out with some girl named Ashley or something...ERGGG! what do I do...HE'S EXPECTING AN ANSWER SOON AND IT'S JUST ANNOYING! please help! (link)
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If you don't like him, you are not obligated to go out with him, or even "give him a chance." Just tell him he is ok as a friend, but you don't feel the same way for him that he does for you, and that's it. Tell him to stop sending you notes. It is better to be honest, and not make yourself do something you don't want to do, just because his feelings might be hurt.
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I feel very sick lately.
after walking up the stairs or standing or walking for a bit i feel like i might vomit.
it hurts to breath in deep and i cough alot and it hurts my sides. alot. today after standing in the hall way, going downstairs and walking down the block i almost threw up, kept gaging and coughing which hurt so much i was doubled over, and it hurt to move.
what could this be?
(link)
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Since your sides hurt when you cough, you need to see a doctor. I don't know what you have, but it could be pneumonia. In any case, see a doctor.
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My oldest daughter's biological father lives in a different country and we haven't spoken to each other since I was 19. I am now 30 years old. I let my daughter use my maiden name in her birth certificate but have indicated there who her real dad is. I've been married for 8 years now and my husband has been great to my oldest daughter. My dilema right now is should my husband legaly adopt my daughter so she could have his last name. My daughter sometimes says she is the only one in the family that has a different last name and that she doesn't look like her brother and sister. She already knows that her father is different from her brother and sister and I told her that it is not important that she uses a different name but what's important is how much her dad and her siblings loves her very much. I just wanted to get opinion if it would matter if she changes her last name or not. (link)
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I think it is important that her last name be changed to the rest of the family. If your husband wants to legally adopt her, I think that is a good idea. I believe if I were her, I would feel like an outsider, and not a real part of the family. Her biological father not only has not been a part of her life, you didn't even use his last name for her. I am not sure why you would not want her adopted.
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i think is is totally gross and disgusting to be a gay guy or a lesbian is it wrong to think that i dont think it is (link)
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It isn't wrong to feel it is gross or disgusting, because that is just how you are. It is wrong to treat gay guys and lesbians badly, though. And it is wrong when they expect everyone to feel like they do, to be attracted to the same sex, because we aren't.
I wish it weren't such a big issue. I am ok with someone being gay or lesbian, but I don't want to constantly hear about it, or be confronted by the fact that they have same sex lovers. I don't like to think about the details too much.
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Ok, I'm only 16, and maybe I'm just being stupid. And maybe some of you will think I'm just bitter because I'm single. But, it's not that I'm bitter or jealous. I just don't understand why people my age so immature about relationships? I mean, they post everywhere on the internet about how "hot" their boyfriend/girlfriend's are. And it's like, if they're going to post something about them, then why not post about the things that REALLY matter? Like, for instance, how: funny, brilliant, and/or talented they are. I just don't get it. I mean, one day, they're going to be old and wrinkly, and def. not hot. But, they will be more funny, brilliant, and/or talented. And, I'm not saying a physical attraction isn't needed, because it is. But, why is it that most people are so pathetically consumed with the things that are the least important in relationships? Ahhhh. Some days, I wish I weren't 16. (link)
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You are right - it all matters if you are going to be with someone for a long time. But what they post on the internet doesn't really matter. If they wanted to be more thoughtful and creative they could put more effort into posting more about how funny, talented, etc., their boyfriends or girlfriends are. But they don't.
Besides, I have known very few wrinkled old people who met their wife or husband when they were 16.
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OK, yesterday, I was in my bedroom and I was getting my journal out to write in it and i couldn't find my pencil, then i saw it on the table and it was too far for me to reach it and when I was stretching my arm to get it, it moved into my hand. My window wasn't open so that rules out wind. Am I telekenisis? (link)
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You should test it. If you can move an object like a pencil at will over and over then yes, but if you try it again, and nothing happens, then no. If not, then why that pencil moved yesterday will just remain a mystery.
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I'm not very popular at school and kids pick on me. I don't really know why they do it, it's been that way since 1st grade. I'm in 8th grade now and I'm sick of it. I don't know what I did to deserve this. They hurt me emotionally and physically, should I stand up to them?
Respond please, I'm desperate,
Hurt and confused (link)
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I think that kids who are picking on you tend to be like everyone else because they want to be accepted. So what happens is they don't really even think about who you really are, just that you are getting picked on and they don't want to be friendly because they will get picked on too. You don't have to do anything to deserve it. It is like a spiral.
It probably won't do any good to stand up to them directly if they are better "armed" than you. It wouldn't do any good to get physical if they are stronger than you either.
This whole thing can be turned around, though, but it takes time. First you have to find out what you are best at and where you fit in, then develop a circle of friends there, and gain some confidence in yourself. Join clubs or teams or groups where you know you have a chance of doing well. When you make a group of friends, there is safety in numbers, even if your friends are not "popular" either.
If you haven't seen the movie "Romey and Michelle" see if you can rent it. It is a funny movie about two friends who weren't popular.
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OK, this is really hard to explain but when I was in 2nd grade, (6 years ago) My dad got into a car accident that wasn't his fault. Because of that, his back has never been the same, he wasn't able to do as much fun stuff with me and my siblings. When I was in 5th grade, (4 years ago) Dad's lawyer tryed to sue the guy in the truck that slammed into him. The guy in the trucks lawyers did some things that I don't like. They followed us around to try to find out if Dad was really hurt or not and they sent guys to watch our house with video cameras. Since I live out really deep in the woods, I would get dressed in my bedroom with the windows not shaded. It turns out they were watching me the whole time. It's been 3 years and I keep thinking that they messed up my life. And I feel guilty that my dad had to go through that. It was the first time I saw him cry. What should I do?
-Violated (link)
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It is kind of a normal thing in these lawsuits to follow people to make sure they are really injured as much as they say they are, BUT video taping you through your windows while you were dressing is illegal, no matter how old you were, and you have grounds for your own law suit. I hope your Dad's lawyer is good. You should ask to sue them again for that. Or just get another lawyer that is good. I have had to change lawyers with a law suit and it was worth it.
If you can find a lawyer that will not charge you but only charge them if he wins, that is what you need. That is what I did. I actually told him I didn't care what I got out of it, as long as they paid and paid as much as possible. He settled out of court, but they did pay.
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my parents got divorced a year ago and ever since my mom has always been trying to do stuff with me. My only free days of the week are wednesday and sunday..and now she wants to have dinner both those nights. I feel like everything I do with her is scheduled. What should I tell her to make it not feel like she had to make an effort to see me? (link)
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I think you should have dinner with her. You have to eat anyway, so it isn't really adding to your schedule, and she probably really misses your company. It sounds like you are a little angry about the divorce if you don't want to spend even that much time with her. Being with her is a good thing instead of keeping your distance and making it worse.
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I really like this guy and I asked him out yesterday and he said Not Today what does that mean?
FRom PLease HElp ME (link)
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I would think he doesn't really want to go out with you. Sometimes guys just feel uncomfortable when girls are too agressive, and then, he may just not feel the same way about you that you feel about him.
If he literally meant "not today," as in "maybe tomorrow," he would have said something, I think.
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