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mom
my parents got divorced a year ago and ever since my mom has always been trying to do stuff with me. My only free days of the week are wednesday and sunday..and now she wants to have dinner both those nights. I feel like everything I do with her is scheduled. What should I tell her to make it not feel like she had to make an effort to see me?
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I think your mother may be suffering from guilt. She may feel bad about the effects that she THINKS the divorce has had on you. As a result, she is probably trying ( too hard ) to show you that you're still AS important to her. As much as it gets on your nerves, I actually applaud your mother for that. Nevertheless, you're feeling smothered. Have you ever sat and discussed their divorce with her? Maybe you should sit down, tell her how you feel about it, and while you appreciate her wanting to spend so much time with you, tell her what you just stated. That everything feels "scheduled". Tell her that you'd LOVE to spend time with her, but you also like to have a little time that you can call your own.
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I think you should have dinner with her. You have to eat anyway, so it isn't really adding to your schedule, and she probably really misses your company. It sounds like you are a little angry about the divorce if you don't want to spend even that much time with her. Being with her is a good thing instead of keeping your distance and making it worse.
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oh i'm sorry. well maybe sumtimes if she asks you to go out and do sumthing with her on a whim, dont say you have other plans (even if you do) go with your mokm. sumtimes you have to prioritize whats more important. sumtimes you might have to blow off your friends, but it just depends whats really more important to you. *thank you for your time*~luckiedice~
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Just tell her how you really feel. Tell her it's okay that you don't get to see her every week. She should understand.
~Elle~
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Tel her that you understand that she wants to be close4 to you but it would be more fun if everything wasn't the same all the time that should help if not let me know e-mail me at cyborggt2003@yahoo.com
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Explain to her that you love her no matter what, and that she doesn't have to keep scheduling times to see you because you will still see her on your own free will.
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You should tell her that you dont want everything to be so scheduled and that you'd like your relationship to be more natural than that. I'm sure she will understand. You should just tell her how you feel. Tell her you're really busy and that these are your only free days ...
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Its fairly easy depending on the person you are. But be honest its the best thing, tell her those are your days off and that you don't need to have dinner on those nights that sometimes you want your space and would appreciate her wanting to see you because she missed you rather than because she feels its her obligation. Just be direct with your feelings.
Cspinoza1
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Is that a bad thing? If she does something with you she obviousley has the time. Dont think so much, just be thankful.
-shay :-)
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My parents are divorced too. You should feel lucky that your mom makes an effort to see you. She'll probably relax in a little while, give her a couple of months.
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IF I WERE YOU I WOULD TELL YOUR MOM THAT YOU REALLY LUV HER BUT SOMETIMES YOU WOULD LIKE IF YOU JUST WENT ALONG THE DAY WITHOUT A SCHEDULE AND JUST HANG OUT TALK ABOUT THINGS YOU NORMALLY WOULDNT TALK ABOUT!
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I say talk to your mom and tell her how you feel. if she doesn't lay off, go see a family counselor. maybe they can help.
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Tell her you don't like schedules and stuff like that. Tell her that you do have a very busy life, but you'll both make the effort to spend some time with each other.
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