Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 84176
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I'm one of those people whose against drugs. I really don't see why people do them, and I really can't stand the fact that a lot of my peers are starting to get into it.
That doesn't bug me, they can ruin their lives if they want. The only person who I've found out has done weed is this boy whose a great friend of mine, really sweet, and I kind of have a teeny crush on. I really want to be with him, but not if he does drugs. He knows I know hes done drugs (he came online one time totally "canned")
I didn't think much of it until a couple days ago, where this girl I know brought it up to me.
I want to talk to him about it, but not be such a mom, like "Drugs ruin your life! Do you want a future?" just like friend to friend...but I really don't know what to say or do.
I'd really like it if I could get the message across that I dissaprove without actually telling him directly.
Please help me.
(link)
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You should be direct with him. Drugs are not an issue to be taken lightly. The people who do drug counseling know that being direct is what works. Because people who abuse drugs and alcohol have every excuse in the book. Here is one thing I know, and have learned from having drug and alcohol abuse in my family of orgin.
The day that a young teenager picks up alcohol or drugs and starts to use them continually, is the day that he/she stops growing emotionally. So what happens is when this person who has been abusing drugs and/or alcohol gives it up at the age of 40, still has the emotional IQ of a teenager. He/she does not behave well as a father or husband (wife or mother) and has to start all over again. And the family suffers. This is true.
In any event, Do not think that you are "talking like a mom". You are not. and it will mean more to him coming from a peer and not an adult. But don't be discouraged if he says the same things to you that he would say to his mom, because that is the drugs talking. I think it is worth a try and I think you should go for it. It shows that you care enough about his life, and he won't forget that. That is how it will be taken. Even if he chooses to ignore your warnings, you can't help that. You can't make him care more about his life that you do. If there were a way to accomplish that, we wouldn't need rehab centers. And as it is, they are all full and have waiting lists for people to get in.
I think that it is wonderful that you care enough about this boy to warn him about the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse. It shows that you have compassion. And obviously you have a good head on your shoulders. Keep up the good work, and take care of yourself first. YOU are the most important person in the world to you. And by taking care of yourself, you can find the capacity to take care of, or care about others.
Good luck to you
Michele
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He's goes to my school, and, of course, since it's painful to be around him we'll have classes together, and he's an amazing guy.
I'm loved him for two years, and no matter what I do, I can't get over him.
And, so I ask you, face blanketed with tears, can you help me get over him? (link)
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YOu say he is an amazing guy, and I believe you, but he is not the only one. If he is we are all in trouble. Because you haven't even told us how to find him.
Anyway, this is what dating is all about. WE get to know each other, and each of us has a right to choose to be with the person they think suits them best, for fills their fantasies. He filled some of yours, but you didn't fill enough of his. It should not be taken personally. Because we have NO control over whether or not a person likes us. Imagine if we did. Maybe he likes tall girls and your short, maybe he likes redheads and your a blonde, etc. These are things we have no control over. But there is a guy out there who is also terrific, who may like everything about you. You will have all of the charms that he dreams about. Wouldn't it be better to be with someone who thinks you are the most gorgeous and wonderful creature in the world, than to have someone who just thinks you're OK.
You know what would happen if he was with you, but you could tell down deep inside that he was not head over heels for you......
You'd be asking him all the time, "did you settle for me? Do you love me? Do you think I'm hot?" blah, blah, blah, until you drive him away. You would always have doubt. But when a guy thinks you are the hottie of his dreams, he tells you all the time, how pretty you are, how awesome you are, how much he loves you.
It is better to be sure, than to wonder all of the time.
There is a terrific guy out there for you, I guarantee it. But you have to close one door to open another. I know it is hard, but you need to be patient. Many of us did not meet Mr. Right while we were in school. Just be the best you can be that makes you more attractive and fun to be with. And I am not talking about clothes, and make-up. I am talking about personality and confidence and brains. Those attributes are sexy to men. YOung boys (and girls) are mostly interested in looks, and who is the hottest kid in school, and raising their own status by being with the hottest, cutes, strongest, etc. etc.
When we grow up, and/or mature we learn that being with someone we have more in common with and who shares our values and treats us with respect is the real answer to happiness. I hope this helps dear. And it bears repeating. You are on a long journey, and can have many wonderful experiences, friendships and love interests. It is not over. Open your heart and let them in. Don't live in the past. Good luck to you dear.
Michele
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Ok a guy who is like my brother gave his best friend my number and he started texting me. Well he wants to go to the movies sometime and hes like you better be up for more than just a movie. And my friend went to school with him and he had a girlfriend for like 4 years and she turned psycho she said hes jumped around from girl to girl. I mean when your young things change you are feeling curious, I mean was you the same as you were 5 years ago? And I don't think my big brother would want a guy to hurt me and I mean it's his best friend, does he maybe just wanna hang out or what? Or does he like me? (link)
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Look, he is trying to get some information out of you. If you don't respond to the "and you better be up for more than just a movie" he is going to assume that he can at least make a move on you. If you do repond with Yes I am , he is going to assume he CAN make a move on you. If you respond with No, I am NOT up for more than just a movie, then He'll behave. (Hopefully) So why not say, look, I hardly know you, I don't mind going to a movie with you but you shouldn't assume that anything else is going to happen. AND THEN, the ball is in your court, and you can make up your own mind. Isn't it better that way. You have the control and you make the decision. Never leave it up to he guy, because they always want to get naked, with anyone. What if you don't like him? You think that saying no is enough. Not any more. Some guys are just a**h*les and think they are entitled to get intimate with a girl just because they spent money on a movie. And hey, I wouldn't count on your brother thinking about your safety. If he did, he wouldn't let you date anyone, because he KNOWS how guys are.
Michele
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Its really hard to tell with me because of my weird body habits.
So about a week and a half ago i had sex,with a condom and for a little time without one ,i am fully aware that its extremly risky.I feel dumb about doing it ofcourse but there is nothing to do ,to take away my dumb actions.
He cummed partially in me and partially on the floor and ofcourse i was scared.
Now ,my body doesn't usually get a period each month.
I got my first period about 2 years ago,and ive only gotten it maybe 4 or 5 times since then.
The first time I got it was in June of 05,and then i got it August of 05.I think I may have got it again June of 06 and again August 06.
And I had gotten it June of 07 and it is now August of 07,so i think you get the point.
I have been having weird symptoms such as one of my nipples is clearly twice the size of my other one,ive been having those crying episodes at night and mood swings.Ive had a racing heart rate,and ive been bloated ..ofcourse.Also,the gross smell down there.
Ive also had this weird discharge,it smells horrible and its like a brownish bloodish and clearish liquid,I know you get that before your period but i didnt know if you can have that during pregnancy as well.I took a test about 3 days ago and it came out negative but I know that if you take the test too early,it will not be accurate so im planning on taking another one soon.
I am extremly young [14 to be exact]and I dont want to be lectured on my poor choices,i apparently realize them i just need help because I am trying to solve this problem as quickly and easily as possible,thank you for your help! (link)
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Well this is a waiting game. I thought they had improved the home pregnancy tests so that you could take one a few days after you think you are pregnant and get an accurate reading. But it certainly doesn't hurt to take another one. And because of that, as you said, it is best to wait a while. How the pregnancy test works, is when you are pregnant, the amount of estrogen in your system increases...by a lot. the longer you are pregnant the more estrogen your body will produce. And that is what shows up on the tests and they read positive for raised estrogen levels, and negative for normal estrogen levels.
However in your case, because your menstrual cycle has been so inconsisten for a couple of years, so would your estrogen levels be inconsistent. So who knows if the test might be giving you a false reading because your estrogen levels are all over the map.
Well, lets say it turns out that you are pregnant, do you plan to have an abortion? If so, a couple more weeks will not make a difference. There will still be time, and you will still be in your first tri-mester. I know that means that the next two weeks will be nerve wracking. But in any event, you will need a definite YES or NO before you can make the next decision.
First of all the foul smelling odor has nothing to do with it. That could be semen that has since died, you need to douche. You should after you have sex anway, even with a condom. And again after you have your period. As for one nipple being larger than the other. I have never heard of that happening to anyone I know, who got pregnant. Bloating could mean that your period is coming. I can tell you what happened to my body when I got pregnant, but we are all different. My breasts got very tender and sore. They also got bigger right away. Went up a whole cup size. I felt very light headed. I did not have any feelings of nausea, but many women do. These are all common symptoms that most women feel. But your body is having trouble reaching full womanhood (sorry, corny expresion) and this is proven because your menstrual cycle is so sporadic. This is not a "healthy" situation for your body to be in. You are a good candidate to get on the pill to regulate your periods. You and your mom should talk to your doctor about that. If he/she agrees, they will send you to an OB/GNY for an exam and to put you on the pill so that your body's estrogen levels can return to normal. It is better for your health
Like you I hope and pray that you are not pregnant, but there is not much you can do but worry, until you have a concrete answer.
SO I am hoping that two weeks from now, when you re-test, that the results will be negative. And hopefully you will get your period.
Is there a Planned Parent Hood clinic in your city. They may do a test also, that could be more conclusive. Good luck to you dear.
Michele
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i want to bleach my teeth..but i dont know how....do you litterly take bleach to your teeth? can someone explain this for me, thank you. (link)
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NO you don't use bleach. That is poison. What works is peroxide. Although you shouldn't swallow that either. Why not use the crest white strips. they contain peroxide in a gel that sticks to your teeth. You leave it on for 1/2 hour. and that is what works. I mean sure you can gargle with perioxide, (but it doesn't taste good) but it won't whiten your teeth, because it won't be in your mouth long enough. That is why the white strips work. Because the gel/peroxide solution stays on your teeth for at least 1/2 hour. I know they are expensive. And you need to use them every day for a couple of weeks. then after you have "bleached" them, you need to avoid, coffe, colas and tea.
Their may be a brand which costs less, but I bet it has less peroxide solution in it. Those tooth pastes are not bad, the whitening ones, but they don't do as good a job as the white stips do.
Good luck to you
Michele
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Ok, so the school i go to has a bathroom with stall doors that big spaces where the hinges are and people can see through them at you. Obviously when they built them, they just made the doors like that. But anyways, me and all my friends are really self concious about that. What should we do? (link)
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WEll what you should realize is that there is not a lot you can see through that space in the door. Stand outside the door yourself, and try to look in, what do you see? I think not much.
You certainly can't make out who is in there, or what they are doing. If you really look hard, or if you go up to the crack and hold your eye to it, you'll be able to see everything. Do you think girls are like going to be doing that?
Would you and your friends do that?
If you do think kids are going to do that, then poke them in the eye, they won't do it again.
Or call them out on it, say " hey why are you trying to see me naked, are you a pervert or something?" Do you think that would work?
Maybe you could always carry a light jacket or hoodie, and hang in on the door along with your purse in the area where the space is. But be careful about theft. Though I know in some schools they don't let you wear jackets all day.
Well, I hope this helps,and try to remember, all you girls are in the same boat, and none of the girls are going to like to so maybe they will all be respectful and not try to look.
Good luck to you and your friends.
Michele
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what to do if the botton of the iron is black dirty (link)
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Well you have to UNPLUG the iron, and take it over to the sink. That stuff is baked on so it will take some work. Steel wool, like a brillo pad, or some comet on a sponge, and scrub it off. Be sure to get it all, and then be sure to rinse it well. Let it dry before using it again
Michele
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So, there's this guy. Let's call him Bob. Well, Bob and I are really close friends and we've been through a lot. Well, he has a gf, let's call her Bobalina. Well, he's been with her for over a year now and I'm not jealous or envious. I just wish well for both of them
Well, the problem is, Bob likes me and I like him but there's a really good reason as to why we can't get together. So don't ask or question...which is the same thing, but anyways. And he really is head over heels for me right now and I feel really, extermely guilty about that because I feel like I'm leading him on while he has a girlfriend...aka feel like the third party unwanted by Bobalina. Well, I swear. I just talk to him as usual and I don't lead him on, or at least form my point of view I don't.
and he's recently admitted that while he was making out with Bobalina, he was thinking of me =/ Ahh! bad ,bad, bad, bad!
What should I do about this and how can I correct it so that i'm not longer the "unintentional third party"? (link)
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If you really mean it when you say that there are really good reason(s) why the two of you cannot be together, and you want to respect his relationship with Bobalina, then you should limit the amount of time that you spend with Bob, even if it is just talking to him as usual.
Doing "as usual" is what got you where you are with Bob, if you want to uncomplicate his life, then back off. And let him figure it out.
It time, all things will work out.
Michele
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hi i was wondering if anyone has tried isagenix?
does it work??
(link)
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Yes I tried it, and I was not impressed, and I didnt' cheat on the diet either. I must say that the chocolate protein supplements were good to suck on, but I didn't loose any weight.
Michele
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ok so i play acoustic guitar, electric guitar, bass, and i sing, so now im bored and wanna learn drums (this way i can record my own shit doing everything by myself) sooo i wanna know some good not "beginner" sets but nothing over 700 bucks. so yeah if anybody has some recommendations that would be mad appreciated.
peace. (link)
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Well I don't know the names of any brands, but my son got an awesome set of drums on
www.musiciansfriend.com
And he only paid $500 for them, and he has been playing for 3 years, so I know it was not a beginner set.
I was surprised at how nice they were. and shipping was included.
Try that website
Michele
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Well im going to try and sum this up as best as I can.
So i guess you could say I had a "summer fling"
it was more like a "sex fest".
But he was still my very good friend and we talked all the time.
I have liked him for sooo long ,like about 2 years.
Just recently,since we are kind of like "fuck buddies" if you'd say ,well we were scared that he got me pregnant,because the condom broke ,and i was very very scared.
I recently got a test and it was negative,thank god because I am very young,but it was deffinetly deffinetly a BIG TIME scare.Ofcourse,he was kind of mean about it and even if i was pregnant ,he wouldnt care [yes i realize hes a jerk]
But I do love him because I know deep down hes not,but he said something about "never having sex again" which was fine with me because of this scare and we learned our lessons but i said if we could still be friends and he said "yeah" and he said he wasnt going to hate me or anything.
So ,i figured that was fine.But ever since that,he didnt really say much online.
Usually he talks alot alot more and he honestly barely talked,i mean maybe it was just because he was busy or tired or something But im not sure.
I think yes he was using me for sex ,but i know he's my friend.I just want to get over him completely and like someone new but its been so long and Im not used to not seeing him everynight like we used to.
Can someone help me here?
Im not a slut,hes the only guy I ever have done anything with. (link)
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OMG, you are so lucky that you are not pregnant. I hope you mean it when you say that you are not going to put yourself in this situation again.
And because of the way he acted, mean and all, I would not want to be his friend again. He is what we call, (us old people) "A Fair Weather Friend." They are happy to be your friend when everything is going well, and not interested when things go wrong. And he is just as much to blame as you are.
Listen he was mean because he didn't want to deal with the responsibility. What if it turned out that you were pregnant. He would have gotten downright angry and blamed everything on you. And his parents would believe him, because they wouldn't want to believe that their precious boy could do anything wrong. You and your parents would be stuck holding the bag. (so to speak)
He is not worth loving, he is not worth your kindness, he is not worth another second of your time. I know you say that you were used to seeing him and talking to him every night. Well honey, people in Africa were used to eating every day, and now they are starving.(Now THAT's hard to get used too.)
I think you can find a way to forget him. He is not and never was a "friend" in any sense of the word.
Find another friend. And if you are going to continue to have sexual relations, get on the pill. because as you have learned, you can't always rely on condoms. Hey, I am glad that you are at least using condoms, but they are not 100% effective. If you are too young to go to the doctor and get on the pill, then wait to have sexual relations, until you are old enough to do that.
This is a problem that too many of us women bring on ourselves. We "know" the guy is a jerk, yet we think that somewhere deep inside, he's a nice guy, and we still love him. Judge him by his actions, not by what he says, and not by the past. His reaction to your getting pregnant showed you how he would react when life gets difficult. Well, here's a clue. Life does get difficult. For everyone. Can't avoid it. It will happen to you too, and you need to have by your side, a man you can count on. Learn this lesson now, and you will save yourself a whole lot of heart ache.
I know I sound hard, but I am on your side. Consider this a lesson that you learned and learn it well. I wish you all the best
Michele
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My boyfriend's dad has a business, his dad got very sick and now my boyfriend is working every single day, helping his family. I see him once every 1-2 weeks. I miss him and I know working this much isn't healthy but he tells me constantly he "has no choice". He's very family oriented so I wouldn't make him choose. It's just I would like to see him more, and besides it'll get his mind off work. What am I supposed to do? Wait it out and do/say nothing? (link)
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I think you should wait it out and be patient. Your boyfriend is showing you how responsible he is. His family raised him and gave him everything he has, even life, if you want to get down to the lowest common denominator.
You should be proud of him. This is also telling you that when and if you two start a family, he will be there for YOU. He will never turn his back on his obligations simply because they are hard, or he would rather be somewhere else.
It should be enough to you to know that if he had a choice, he would rather be with you. Think about it, how many spouses do you think have to keep things going at home and keep up their spirits in order for their husbands to fulfill their obligations. Soldier's wives, astronaut wives, fisherman's wives. All of their husbands have to travel for months to earn a living and support their family. It always helps to know that the person you love, but had to leave back at home, is supporting you.
If you love this guy, and you want to spend the rest of your life with him, this is the time for you to strenghten your relationship and say to him that you understand that what he is doing is necessary, and that you will be patient and wait for things to get better. Say that you know he would be with you if he could. AND tell him that you admire him for taking care of his family this way. This is a lesson for you too. And he is watching to see how you handle it. He won't forget.
And keep this in mind. I know a couple of girls, married with children, whose husbands are SO IN LOVE, they won't even leave the house to go to work. Nope, they'd rather be home with their loving wife and children, and together they can all wonder where their next meal is going to come from.
Good luck to you, and especially good luck to your boyfriend
Michele
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my friend is in real trouble she is 14 doing drugs, drinking, smoking and sleeping around and i have just found out that she wants to overdose. But she won't tell me why, I've asked her and i keep trying to help her. I told her to let her mum no why she wants to overdose or see the school counciler because she won't tell me why.Everytime I try to help her she tells me to f up and that she hates me. and all of my other friends keep telling me to leave her alone, so they have all turned on me. All im trying to do is help her before she does something stupid what do i do? (link)
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I don't know if you can prevent her from doing something stupid. It does sound like she is determined. It sounds like someone who comes from a home where no one cares about her anyway. But if you know this is not true, and you believe that her parents do care for her, then you should tell them. They will have the money and the authority to get her the help she needs.
At this point I think that is your only option. It is good of you to want to help your friend, but sometimes we have some much internal pain, (emotional pain) that we see no point in living or respecting ourselves. She really is acting like someone has hurt her deeply, someone she trusts, and usually this kind of acting out at such a young age, comes from being abused at home.
So if you know that not to be true, you may want to warn her parents.
Michele
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you answered my question earlier about my face and I really appreciate that.
I went to a surgeon and he felt my face and said that there wasn't anything,although I don't really trust him
I looked back at my baby pictures and saw that I didin't have that half face look younger,it only started after 14 or so
My mom thinks it's because i slept on one side of my face all the time during those years which kind of altered my structure,like when u wear small shoes all the time and your toes will kinda shrink
the wierd thing too is that the side of my face would sometimes be nearly normal,then sometimes buldge crazily and sometimes change shape,it's just wierd.
so is it really a medical problem?cause my face does not seem to be growing ,if there is a tumor it should right?
or is it because i slept on one side too often?
thanks a lot (link)
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WEll it COULD be due to the way you slept, that is not impossible. But I think it would have had to have started when you were very little. When your skull bones were still growing and taking shape. I have read about ancient civiliazations that did stuff like this to infants on purpose, and they did suceed in changing the shape of their heads. And like you said about feet too.
STill I wonder, in your case does it seem to be bone protruding, or is it just soft tissue?
I wish I could help more. If you went to see a surgeon, but he just felt your face, well I don't know if that is enough, he could have ordered a cat scan or an MRI and then he could have seen inside your face and then you would all know once and for all, what the problem is. Well at least if there is a turmor or something. I am willing to do more research for you, but I think I would need to see a picture, you can even send a picture of just the side that is the problem. But I would email it to me, and not put it here, because even private questions, end up in my column. It is up to you. cobweb2@comcast.net
But if you can get your mom to have doctor send you for a CAT SCAN or an MRI, then they can see inside, and then you can rule out a tumor or something. You are right, tumors do continue to grow.
But I am just concerned about your well being and that no stone be unturned until you know exactly what the problem is. If it is just a deformity caused by sleeping the wrong way for too long, perhaps the surgeon can fix it, but most likely they won't recommend that until you have stopped growing. I hope you get the answers you deserve.
Michele
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is being a photojournalist a good job?
like tell me anything you know about it =]
i know you have to go to college for it, and that's why i'm trying to find out about it now.
i googled it and it didn't say much of what it actually is. i think i know but just please give me any info you know on it. any links to websites would be great too =]
and what should i do now to like prepare, like what highschool classes should i take, should i get a camera now? what are some good kinds for this? etc.
thanks sooooo much =] (link)
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Well the best way to describe photo journalism is to read about the people who are famous for it. like the photographers for National Geographic Magazine. People who have won pulitzer prizes for their photos. Annie Liebowitz, Michael Ainsworth, DAvid Turnley. Oded Balilty. Or look at photographs that have won pulitzer prizes.
Check out these photos on the pulitzer website.
Yes you should get a camera as soon as possible, and if you stay in this field, it certainly won't be your first. I am not sure what college you should go to, but I know there are good ones in NYC, and probably all the big cities. Good luck to you, it is a great field to be in.
Michele
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15/f
Well there's this guy that likes me and I really like him, but I don't think he knows that so that's why he won't ask me out. He would flirt with me...one time he tried asking me out, but that went all wrong...so I don't know what I should do to drop some hints that I like him and that I want him to ask me out. There's no way that I'm asking him out..lol..plus he's the type of guy that prefers it if he can ask the girl out. I'm usually a shy person...so he probably thinks I'm like hard to get or something...well at least I don't have to play hard to get..lol..I am hard to get...Anyway, thanks for any advice you have for me! (link)
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Maybe he is afraid to ask you out because of the reasons that everything went wrong the last time, like you said. I don't know what that was, but maybe it made him shy to ask you out. People hate rejection, girls and guys. Maybe you could drop some hints about what kind of guy you would say yes too if he asked you out, and just make sure those hints "match him perfectly". Als make sure that you use the word special a lot, like say "I would date a guy that is special and treats me as nice as you do." Or say "I wish I could meet a guy as nice as you are, I'd go out with him in a second." Maybe that's too confusing and might give him the wrong impression.
Are you two friends, can you say something like, "I would rather go out with someone that I was friends with first, that is why I am glad that we are friends." Hey I like that one, don't
you? Then work to become good friends, making him feel comfortable around you, and that will make him ask you out.
Let me explain, you see how nervous you are about the whole thing, that you have to ask for advice on how to proceed....well all kids (even adults) are nervous when it comes to affairs of the heart. So if you can make him feel comfortable, like he won't get turned down, then he will ask you out. That will also make him want to stick around. People don't stay long in relationships with people who make them nervous.
I hope this helps, good luck to both of you
Michele
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i have a few questions so plz read them:
ok so i was at this party last night and i had sex twice without a condom and im PRETTY sure nobody cummed in me but im still worried if im pregnant. ugh
alsooo, would you feel the guy cumming in you (without a condom) if you were having sex cause i've only had a guy cum in me with a condom on
ive heard you get sore and feel tired when youre pregnant but i feel tired and sore but that might be just not from sleeping but im just so paranoid!
i'm just freaking out, sorry if this question is just rediculous i'm just scareddd! (link)
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No,sorry, very often you cannot feel it when a guy comes inside you. So it is possible that you are pregnant. How about the morning after pill. Can't you take one of those. I am not sure how to get them, but lots of kids on this sight talk about them, leave a new question asking how to get hold of the morning after pill.
Usually pregnancy symptoms don't show up during the first two days. It is not to late to do something about it if you get that morning after pill. and for your own good, don't do that again.
Have unprotected sex.
Michele
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A few days ago I noticed something weird around my ribs on the left side.About 2 or so inches under the left breast area (male,btw)it kind of indents a bit.It's like that all the way to around an inch above the belly button.It's kind of noticeable to me because the left side is NOTHING like this.I don't know if its something to do with my ribs,muscle,fat,or what.It doesn't hurt or anything either. (link)
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You don't actually give enough information here for us to answer you. Are you lying down, sitting up? Are your overweight, or skinny?
Does it hurt, is it hard, soft, is it red or sore?
At what angle are you looking at it? Can it be seen when you are just standing normal?
Re-submit with more info and maybe we can help
Michele
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17/f
what are some ways to play hard to get? the only problem is, the guy that i like is going away to college so i can only text him or use the computer to talk to him...but when we hang out with our friends we're always right next to each other and cuddle and stuff. how do i play hard to get so that he sorta has to do the chasing? i guess it could sound mean but it's not supposed to be, i just don't want to seem like i'm that easy of a catch since i do already like him.. thanks! (link)
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I think it is a great idea that you want to play hard to get. I think the best thing to do is NOT text him and NOT IM him on the computer. Wait for him to contact you, then preceed each conversation with how busy you are but be sure and make time to talk to him. Believe me he is going to be busy when he starts college, and well you can just imagine that there are going to be girls all around. Also his friends are going to say, hey why bother with someone back home, dude, when we have all these girls here
And I know, I didn't help with that did I.
Well, it is the truth, and if you are the one who is always contacting him, he is going to get tired of hearing from you. College is just soooooo busy, and you would be smarter to wait until he is home again. It is nothing personal. The best way to play hard to get with this guy is for the looooonnnnnggg term. Just be sure you run into him when he is home from college. Some relationships are better when they start later in life. You'll see.
Michele
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before i made out with a guy for the first time, i was nervous and i'll be honest, looked up how to make out. i didn't end up needing any of that advice- it came naturally. it was fine.
then i was freaking out about being felt up, but that too was just natural.
so my question is this: i see sooo many questions on here about being fingered/giving handjobs/oral sex/ACTUAL sex.... but in the end don't all those things just come naturally? like just go w/ the flow and i'll just know what to do? (link)
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Well, we are all only human, and afraid of making a mistake.Or looking stupid in front of someone we like. We hope that having more information will make us less nervous but it doesn't. You found out the same way we all did.
Once you've tried it, you find out that it does come natural. Of course having a partner who is patient and kind and makes us feel comfortable, helps a lot. After all, it is almost impossible to do it wrong. But glad that you are now over your nervousness.
Michele
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