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Getting Over Him
He's goes to my school, and, of course, since it's painful to be around him we'll have classes together, and he's an amazing guy.
I'm loved him for two years, and no matter what I do, I can't get over him.
And, so I ask you, face blanketed with tears, can you help me get over him?
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I'm sorry to tell you this, but if you really love him then you'll never be able to get over him. I know it hurts, trust me. I have lived my life in love my best friend from high school and he didn't love me back. All you can really try to do is be happy for him and for yourself. You need to go have fun without him like you did before you two met. Find another guy to like. Eventually, although you'll still miss him, you'll find another guy you're crazy about. Love never goes away, it's a blessing and a curse. Once you let yourself get passed the curse you'll see the blessing in it all.
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YOu say he is an amazing guy, and I believe you, but he is not the only one. If he is we are all in trouble. Because you haven't even told us how to find him.
Anyway, this is what dating is all about. WE get to know each other, and each of us has a right to choose to be with the person they think suits them best, for fills their fantasies. He filled some of yours, but you didn't fill enough of his. It should not be taken personally. Because we have NO control over whether or not a person likes us. Imagine if we did. Maybe he likes tall girls and your short, maybe he likes redheads and your a blonde, etc. These are things we have no control over. But there is a guy out there who is also terrific, who may like everything about you. You will have all of the charms that he dreams about. Wouldn't it be better to be with someone who thinks you are the most gorgeous and wonderful creature in the world, than to have someone who just thinks you're OK.
You know what would happen if he was with you, but you could tell down deep inside that he was not head over heels for you......
You'd be asking him all the time, "did you settle for me? Do you love me? Do you think I'm hot?" blah, blah, blah, until you drive him away. You would always have doubt. But when a guy thinks you are the hottie of his dreams, he tells you all the time, how pretty you are, how awesome you are, how much he loves you.
It is better to be sure, than to wonder all of the time.
There is a terrific guy out there for you, I guarantee it. But you have to close one door to open another. I know it is hard, but you need to be patient. Many of us did not meet Mr. Right while we were in school. Just be the best you can be that makes you more attractive and fun to be with. And I am not talking about clothes, and make-up. I am talking about personality and confidence and brains. Those attributes are sexy to men. YOung boys (and girls) are mostly interested in looks, and who is the hottest kid in school, and raising their own status by being with the hottest, cutes, strongest, etc. etc.
When we grow up, and/or mature we learn that being with someone we have more in common with and who shares our values and treats us with respect is the real answer to happiness. I hope this helps dear. And it bears repeating. You are on a long journey, and can have many wonderful experiences, friendships and love interests. It is not over. Open your heart and let them in. Don't live in the past. Good luck to you dear.
Michele
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