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Drugs
I'm one of those people whose against drugs. I really don't see why people do them, and I really can't stand the fact that a lot of my peers are starting to get into it.
That doesn't bug me, they can ruin their lives if they want. The only person who I've found out has done weed is this boy whose a great friend of mine, really sweet, and I kind of have a teeny crush on. I really want to be with him, but not if he does drugs. He knows I know hes done drugs (he came online one time totally "canned")
I didn't think much of it until a couple days ago, where this girl I know brought it up to me.
I want to talk to him about it, but not be such a mom, like "Drugs ruin your life! Do you want a future?" just like friend to friend...but I really don't know what to say or do.
I'd really like it if I could get the message across that I dissaprove without actually telling him directly.
Please help me.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Hmm.
Be direct. But also be understanding. Remember that you arent his mom, and you could poison a friendship if you harp on him too hard or too much.
First. You said "Canned"
When I was that age that was how we referred to anyone who got high by turning a soda can into a pipe and smoking out of it.
That, is very very very very bad for you. Soda cans are not a metal made to be smoked like that. The flame on a butane lighter is hot enough to melt small specs of the metal, as well as burning the paint. So, when you take a hit from a pipe made that way, you are inhaling burning paint and small flecks of melted metal in addition to the pot smoke. This is EXTREMELY unhealthy, far more so than if he were just smoking pot out of a glass pipe or rolled up in some form of paper or something.
Another thing that you can say.
Right now, he is still growing. All negative effects from pot are determined based on a health adult smoking it. When someone who is younger is smoking it, it can inhibit growth and development. Unfortunately, I dont have a website I can throw out with a list of medically proven effects on a body thats not yet fully developed, but you can tell him he stands a good chance of damaging his lungs and his memory permanently if he is smoking and isnt at least 19 or 20.
Yeah, I know not a great argument, but Im guessing we arent dealing with a college student here. And he also might be more willing to accept an argument that doesnt say "you cant smoke pot anymore" but rather "wait till you're grown up"
Then again, that doesnt stop people drinking, and alcohol definitely hurts if you are getting drunk before you are a certain age.
Other than that, just show concern.
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well i didnt really want to read the other answer hhaa so she may have covered this already butttt. ive had a bunch of people like this in my life. and just tell them that you care about them and you dont want them t oget hurt.
like "i dont know what id do if something happened to you." or "i really care about you, and im worried..." blah blah blah. ha. i dont know if that helped. but hopefully it makes a lightbulb go on in your head or something.
hope i helped. (: <3
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You should be direct with him. Drugs are not an issue to be taken lightly. The people who do drug counseling know that being direct is what works. Because people who abuse drugs and alcohol have every excuse in the book. Here is one thing I know, and have learned from having drug and alcohol abuse in my family of orgin.
The day that a young teenager picks up alcohol or drugs and starts to use them continually, is the day that he/she stops growing emotionally. So what happens is when this person who has been abusing drugs and/or alcohol gives it up at the age of 40, still has the emotional IQ of a teenager. He/she does not behave well as a father or husband (wife or mother) and has to start all over again. And the family suffers. This is true.
In any event, Do not think that you are "talking like a mom". You are not. and it will mean more to him coming from a peer and not an adult. But don't be discouraged if he says the same things to you that he would say to his mom, because that is the drugs talking. I think it is worth a try and I think you should go for it. It shows that you care enough about his life, and he won't forget that. That is how it will be taken. Even if he chooses to ignore your warnings, you can't help that. You can't make him care more about his life that you do. If there were a way to accomplish that, we wouldn't need rehab centers. And as it is, they are all full and have waiting lists for people to get in.
I think that it is wonderful that you care enough about this boy to warn him about the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse. It shows that you have compassion. And obviously you have a good head on your shoulders. Keep up the good work, and take care of yourself first. YOU are the most important person in the world to you. And by taking care of yourself, you can find the capacity to take care of, or care about others.
Good luck to you
Michele
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