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Guy friend + Gf + me
So, there's this guy. Let's call him Bob. Well, Bob and I are really close friends and we've been through a lot. Well, he has a gf, let's call her Bobalina. Well, he's been with her for over a year now and I'm not jealous or envious. I just wish well for both of them
Well, the problem is, Bob likes me and I like him but there's a really good reason as to why we can't get together. So don't ask or question...which is the same thing, but anyways. And he really is head over heels for me right now and I feel really, extermely guilty about that because I feel like I'm leading him on while he has a girlfriend...aka feel like the third party unwanted by Bobalina. Well, I swear. I just talk to him as usual and I don't lead him on, or at least form my point of view I don't.
and he's recently admitted that while he was making out with Bobalina, he was thinking of me =/ Ahh! bad ,bad, bad, bad!
What should I do about this and how can I correct it so that i'm not longer the "unintentional third party"?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Well, assuming you havent left out anything too important, he obviously doesnt like you enough to break up with his girlfriend for you. You may not be leading him on, but it would help to completely rebuff him, let him know for a fact that nothing will happen. Then he can focus more on his girlfriend, which he shouldnt need help with, but whatever.
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Well, even though you and Bob are really close friends, you may want to put a little distance between you for a while. Don't call him, and don't always be available when he calls you. Try to avoid spending a lot of time with him or giving him a lot of attention. You don't have to make it obvious that you're avoiding him... just make yourself busy. But if there's no way to do that without it looking obvious, then let him know. Tell him, "We both know we can't be together, and I think that when we spend a lot of time together it makes things difficult. So maybe we should spend some time apart for a while."
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If you really mean it when you say that there are really good reason(s) why the two of you cannot be together, and you want to respect his relationship with Bobalina, then you should limit the amount of time that you spend with Bob, even if it is just talking to him as usual.
Doing "as usual" is what got you where you are with Bob, if you want to uncomplicate his life, then back off. And let him figure it out.
It time, all things will work out.
Michele
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