My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset
Occupation: Housewife/Mother/Counsellor/Volunteer
Member Since: April 20, 2006
Answers: 798
Last Update: February 17, 2009
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I want a tattoo so bad. I know I can get one done, and it'll look good. My parents will NOT let me get a tattoo at all, they are sooo strict. I would get it around my hip area somewhere where i could hide it. Would it be possible to hide it for 2 years. Or should I just wait? (link)
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So, it's only a tattoo!! If your parents find out about it - it's not that big a deal is it? Sorry love, I am a parent and if my children were to go against my wishes at 15 I would be very disappointed and would probably have difficulty trusting them in the future. What if you lied to them about this, how could they trust you again? It is very permanent unlike a piercing that will heal again. Wait until you are old enough to make that decision without the need for your parents permission. In the meantime, give it some serious thoughts because once a tattoo is done it can only be removed with very expensive laser treatment or surgery. All the best.
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i came to the fact god is not real. the only person who truly loved me is my dad, and he died. my moms totally obsessed with herself. my friends talk about me all the time and boys are total liars and use me. im 13, and im about to give up and kill myself. my teachers think im stupid. nothing goes right. its not fair. i often cry and beg for someone to just hold me when im alone. i really need that. i just dont know what to do and i dont want to go to a theripist (link)
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If I could send you an electronic hug I would. I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling so alone in the world. Do you have a good friend that will give you the hug that you need? Yes it is easy to say go and see a therapist but sometimes it just doesn't go that way. There must be some sort of counsellor at your school that you could talk to or one of your teachers that you like. It may seem like your life is one great big miserable event, but I promise that it will get better. Nothing ever stays the same and one day you will look back and say that goodness that stage of my life is over and now I can get on with living.
If you find it difficult to talk to someone, please try writing everything you feel down on paper then destroy it. It may sound daft but it can work just by releasing some pent-up emotions. You Mum may be totally obsessed with herself because your Dad has died (I don't know if they were together or not at the time.) and she doesn't know how to grieve properly.
Please continue to "talk" to your Dad because I truly believe that the dead can hear you. Ask him for guidance and a sign that he is still with you. Look for anything out of the ordinary, for instance a white feather in a funny place, or a light going on or off on it's own - anything that seems different to normal.
Please, please truly believe that you are a worthy person going through a difficult time. Hold your head high and look the world in the face and you will feel that you are strong. Just get through the next five years until you are an adult, then you can live the life you want to. I am sending you all the good feelings I can. Take care.
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ok so earlier tonight my girlfriend and i were dry humping for the first time. at one point she got really tense and started breathing really heavily, and i just wanted to know: did she orgasm?
afterwards she said it felt really good if that helps. . . (link)
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It certainly sounds like she did but only she can say for certain.
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Im 14/F
Ok well yesterday I was at a relay to raise money for cancer. I knew 3 people there Emily (my bff), Bradley (guy friend) and Kurtis (bradleys brother). There were 11 people on our team. Around 1am we got bored/tired and we brought out the sleeping bags. Bradley lay in the corner of the tent, and then Me, Emily and Kurtis layed together. (We did in a row Me-Kurtis-Emily) We talked and everything but then this guy named Tanyr came in. He layed down beside me and we talked and somewhat flirted. Then Kurtis left so he took Kurtis's spot. Then my friend Emily tried to take the blankets and I ended up with a very small amount and the only way i could get it over my body (i was cold) was if I was right up against Tanyr. During the 7 hours we layed beside eachother alot of things went on and now I like him alot. Here are some of the things that happened between me and Tanyr:
-he kept putting his arm around me
-i got pulled closer to him and he smiled and was like this is nice
-he kept asking questions about me
-we shoved eachother at some points
-when someone said he was gonna lay beside me he was like Stay Away From Her and pulled me close to him
-We listenned to Promiscous (by Nelly Furtado) on someones Mp3 and he sang the boy parts and I sang the girl parts
-We cuddeled
-He asked me if I was single and then he said how he was
-He touched my leg
-He said my hair smelt nice (i was touching his head cause its like shaved and feels weird so he felt mine and was like "ur hair smells nice")
There is two main problems though. He is in grade 10 right now and im in grade 8. i know ill be in highschool in a few months but still its a big enough age difference. Also I dont have his msn. Do you think he even liked me or was it just a one night thing?
Oh yea he kept saying it sucked that I was in grade 8 cause he hoped I wasnt feeling uncomfortable because he was hitting on me. (i am not sleezy or slutty in any way)
What should I do now?
(link)
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Perhaps he is genuinely attracted to you and genuinely concerned about the age differences. However, be very cautious if you want to continue to have a friendship with this guy because he may not be that genuine.
If he knows where you live or go to school, he may well get in touch with you. If he does, all well and good, if not, put that night down to a pleasant experience.
If you do meet, I suggest that you take things very, very slowly and continue to chat to him and perhaps go for a coffee or lunch or something during the daytime. Don't be rushed into anything you might regret and enjoy the new experiences that will come with getting to know someone. I truly hope that he is the gentleman he was portraying to you that night and I hope that it all goes well with you. Good luck.
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I am 17 and my boyfriend is 20. He has had sexual reltionships before but when me and him have sexual intercourse his errection doesnt last long. He says that he doesnt know why it happens and that it hasnt happend before. Even when i use my hand to pleasure him, he holds an errection until he ejaculates. He insists that its not my fault but i cant help but think that it is. im worried that we wont be able to have sex properly.what can i do?
Yours...Confused.x. (link)
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This is not your problem. There may be other things going on in his life that he is concerned about which will in turn affect his erection. He can obviously maintain an erection during hand play which is a good signal. The best thing to do is to give him a lot of encouragement, cuddles and loving words. Try not to force the issue because the male ego can be quite fragile. This will right itself very quickly and you will be able to go back to normal relations.
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i have this project and i need to get 100 people to do this four question survey. me and my friends already got some people, but it will be very helpful if you answered these questions to increase the numbers.. seriously, this will take you like less than a minute to type!~ :]
1.Would you rather eat skittles or M&Ms?
2.What is your favorite kind of chocolate? White, Milk, or Dark?
3.Which would you like to have inside a chocolate bar? Nuts, caramel, or fudge?
4.What is your favorite flavor of starburst? Yellow, Orange, Pink, or Green?
thanks for answering! remember to choose one, and in your answer do something like the sample below:
1. skittles/m&ms
2. white/milk/dark
3. nuts/caramel/fudge
4. yellow/orange/pink/black
again, thankyou! (link)
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1. M&Ms
2. Dark chocolate
3. Nuts
4. Pink
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Ok.. where to start. This could relate to a lot of categories so please just bare with me.
I'm in a bit of a situation. I'm 19 years old, female. I have a boyfriend of two years. He's nearly 21 and I live with my grandparents.
First of all my grandmother is extremely strict on me. Curfews and things like that stopped when I turned 18 last year. Curfews aren't the problem though.
I have been with my boyfriend for two years as I said and she wont let me sleep with him. I have been sleeping with him for the last 12 months. He was my first and is the only guy I have ever been with sexually. I did everything right. I am on the pill and we always use protection.
Recently I had enough of her ways and told her how I felt and told her that I have been sleeping with my boyfriend. She completly hit the roof and went off at me and called me a slut.
I honestly don't think I deserved to be spoken to like that. I have spoken to my Aunty a number of times about this so she knows of everything that had been going on between my boyfriend and myself.
I have tried to speak to my grandmother about this and the last time ended up in tears like every other time. She even told me to pack my f*cking bags and leave if I wasn't happy.
The problem is that I don't do anything wrong and she still seems to think I need all these strict rules. I don't. Just because I can think and do things for myself doesn't mean I don't need her anymore. I told her this.
I asked her what do I do that is so wrong.. She couldn't give me an answer. She's only hurting herself because she is pushing me away.
I did well in school, I use to work for a lawyer now I work for a doctor. I don't drink alcohol except for christmas and things like that. I don't go to the pubs every weekend like most 19 year old girls do.
My boyfriend and I love each other very much and just want to be together. We shouldn't have anyone stand in the way of that. We have in the last few months decided that we want to live together and start our life together. We are good people so why does this happen?
What is she protecting me from?!? She tells me that she loves my boyfriend and he is a lovely person. I can't win. I am on the verge of just moving out. I don't know how to deal with the stress anymore. It hurts.
Am I just being selfish or is she just too over protective? I don't want to feel miserbale anymore!
Thank you for taking the time to read this. (link)
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Your Grandmother comes from another generation and in her time sex before marriage was a big taboo. She may well not understand the modern world and how the younger generation behave. She is strict because she is not your mum and perhaps feels the need to lay down the law a little bit harder. Try seeing things from her side and how you might possibly feel if you had a daughter. Until you are a parent yourself you will never really know how difficult it is. I think you need to sit down together and talk without shouting. Ask her to give her point of view without getting cross then ask her to listen to you. Nothing ever remains the same and one day, when your Grandmother is no longer around, you will understand where she was coming from. I do hope that you can resolve this problem so that you both feel happier. Give her a hug and tell her you love her. All the best.
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ok. so this is prolly like the weirdest question around, but o well. so i'm 14. my birthday was in january. i really want to get my learners permit, i have the book and everything, but there is one problem. i don't want to get it because of my weight. cause, ya know, they put your weight on the lisense, well, i weigh a lot more than most people think. and when i get it all of my friends will be like OMG!! you got your lisense, let me see!! blah blah blah... so anyways, i don't want people to make fun of my weight, but how else will i ever drive?? help!!! thanks!! (link)
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I live in England so I can't answer about age and weight, but what I will say is I think perhaps only you care too much about your weight. Have your friends got theirs yet and if so what are their weights? Is your weight comparable? If it is unavoidable about putting your weight on the licence, then perhaps you can say your parents won't let you carry it around just yet and leave the licence at home until you need it. Please don't let this put you off getting your learners permit. Good luck.
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Alright, so.. my grandma died.. and I really really really loved her. I'm crying my eyes out right now, and I feel so incredibly horrible. All she wanted to do was see me, but I couldn't make it.. I really couldn't without jeopardizing my own life (long story, but trust me there was no way) and my mother told me that when she heard I couldn't be there, she was extremely depressed.. and died the next day. But now, the real trouble is.. Why didn't I call her?! I guess, in some way I was naive and thought she would get better and I would be able to talk to her later.
But I am so stupid. She didn't get better at all. I can't deal with myself now. I feel so guilty for not calling her when she needed me. Of course, I did try several times, and a lot of the times she wasn't home, or they didn't pick up, or something.. And sometimes I couldn't get a phone card to call her.. and sometimes I just had nothing to say.. But damnit, why didn't I call her anyway!?
I hate myself so much.. And I miss her so terribly. Everything reminds me of her too. I don't know at all how to deal with this. I know she's gone and I can't do anything, but.. I am just so so regretful :( (link)
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It hurts so much when someone you love passes away and the guilt we feel is awful. We all regret not doing those things we feel we should have and blame ourselves saying "what if" or "if only I had". Whatever happens in life it is meant to be and remembering your Grandma with love and affection is the only thing she would want from you. Talk about her to your family and friends and laugh about things that you had fun doing together. There will be many, many times in your life when you will feel you have let someone down, but it is only circumstances that will truly stand in your way. If you are meant to be with someone when they pass, or if they need you in times of trouble, fate will always find a way of making sure you are there. Please forgive yourself as I am sure your Grandma would want you to. You miss her so much because you loved her so much, but the pain will pass and you will feel strong again. Have faith in yourself. All the best.
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Hiya,
My mum has a vibrator & I reach climax with it ever time, I feel so bad because it's her's! I'm 13, is there anything I can you use in the same way? (link)
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I suggest that you buy your own vibrator. You can do this easily on line if you have a credit card. If not find someone you trust and ask them to buy it for you.
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alright so my road test is tomorrow and im freaking out im so nervous is there any advice anyone can get me.. so im sure i wont make any mistakes (link)
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I swear by Bach Rescue Remedy. A couple of drops on the tongue before the test will help you relax.
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14/f having a normal period for almost two years if that helps...
ok so every day i get really bad discharge...its not gooey or flaky or anything...its clear and sometimes a little watery, but its so gross because i'll be completely dry one second and the next i feel like i wet myself! this happens like three times a day and i wear mini pads and its still all wet and icky. does anyone know if this is bad for my health? anything i can do about it? thanks (link)
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Unfortunately this is completely normal for the majority of women. You will have to learn to live with it. Change your panty liner as often as you need to and if you feel the need to freshen up, use a wet wipe suitable for that area.
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Even I don't know what to do.
O.K., my boyfriends of 9 months is the greatest guy I have ever met. We are planning to get married too. But there is a problem. His mother. A couple of days ago, he called me and told me that his mother told him to tell me to give her respect and to answer her when she says who is calling, or I can't talk to him, and he can't talk to me. Even though, I do give her respect, and she never answers the phone and asks me that, considering that I usually only call his cell phone. I want to punch her in the face like there is no freakin tomorrow. But I want to know what to do to figure out what she wants, why she hates me, what I did to her, and what I should do to solve this stupid pointless problem. (link)
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I have to agree with Siren Cytherea in that it is probably because his mother is afraid of losing him. My own mother in law refused to speak to me for over three months just before I married her son. We never did get onto a particularly good footing although we tolerated each other (she died a few years back). It can be hard to let go of your children and as a mother I can now understand why, but you have to let your children go with your blessing and your boyfriends mother needs to do this too. Otherwise she may find that your boyfriend will no longer wish to see her quite so often. There is no point in losing your temper with her because at the moment, whilst he is still living at home, she will win. Talk to her calmly and as an adult explaining that you wish to resolve this problem amicably. If you treat her with respect, expect her to reciprocate in kind. I hope it all works out okay and good luck with the wedding plans.
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i got my belly button pierced in april of 2006 and it has healed perfectly fine - no infections, nothing went wrong with it. now it seems like, there is less skin holding the piercing in, almost like the ring doesn't go in as deep as it used to. it might just be a little bit, or maybe i'm crazy, but is this normal? if it is becoming a smaller amount of skin holding it in, what do i do? if i take it out how long do i have to wait to get it repierced? help would be appreciated.
i have pictures from the day i got it done & now if that will help anybody. (link)
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My daughter had the same problem. She had to have it re-done. Apparently the piercings do migrate out of the skin eventually.
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Oh please help me my ear has been hurting for a week and each day it hurts more and right now every other section a rush of pain just goes through it. Its like next to my eardrum ,the pain. When i turn my head it feels like somethings stabbing it. Sometimes though, not all the time for example right now it doesn't feel like that. I am really paranoid and get paranoid what if its cancer is it cancer?!! What do I do i'm busy like all week I dont know when I can go to the docter and I'm like crying now because I'm so scared Help me. What do I do what is it whats wrong with me! Is it cancer is it something bad or is it just an infection i've never had one before I dont know what to do or expect. Help. (link)
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It really does sound like an ear infection and you should see someone about it. Why not pop into the local drug store and talk to the pharmicist.
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I seem sick everyday ..im tired all the time, i feel so messed up, I've never takin any drugs or drank,I eat healthy food, im just...
i have thought about killing myself, but thats just plain stupid, still laugh sometimes, main things is my pains hurt so bad, such as my stomach, almost feel the flu :|, but its not, i need advice, or distractions, or love: something, i just wish i could be better, but no matter what though i still fail, i probley sound stupid, but im so.. sad , then i ask, sad of what? depressed of what? wtf i don't know, i don't want attention, i pretend at school that im ok" but i don't lie.
Maybe its this girl i know? shes the only one who actuallys make's me feel happy, but i don't want to intrude on her, nor do i want her to feel sorry for me, i can survive the depression
but the stomach pains and headaches is what is killing me.
I hope my pains go away tomarrow, otherwise im in for it
my question is, depression? stess? being sad sometimes may be the cause of these awkward stomach pains?, i feel stupid for even saying this
maybe i need antidepression pills..? so i can be tipsy
16/ m /
Im gonna try real hard to pull myself together
cheers :(
(link)
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Being stressed can cause all sorts of pains and ailments. Well done for recognising that you are down at the moment and for doing something about it. I feel that you need to talk to a professional like your doctor just to rule out any medical causes for your pains. Once you have established the facts then you can start to turn your life around and then the pains should disappear. The more you worry about something the more it will increase. Even if you do not feel like smiling try to make the effort because that really does help. Try to think positive thoughts like how good you have life at the moment even if it feels crap. You should never feel stupid for being worried about your physical and mental state of health. I hope that I have been able to help a little bit. Take care.
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This ain't really a question, but, happy mother's day to all the mommas here on advicenators - and to all the momma's of the columnists & moderators =)! (link)
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We celebrate Mothers Day in March in England, but it is nice to be appreciated any time of the year so thank you very much.
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hey, i know its a little late, but i need a mothers day present to make my mom, or like an idea for something, because i dont have a ride to go anywhere, and not a lot ofmoney (link)
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Bake her a cake. Make a cheque book full of promises - for example "I promise that for one week I will do the washing up" or "I promise that I will cook you a special meal". Put together a collage of pictures from your childhood and present it in a frame. Or why not cook her breakfast in bed. Hope these help.
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Ok...i'm 16, my parents are going away and my aunt is staying with us. She already told me i could have some people over, like 10ish...and that we could drink.
Should i do it?? I'm a little worried about being caught, but i feel like if we're careful we wont get caught....
Advice??? I feel like its all a part of being in highschool :) (link)
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Can I suggest that you ask your parents their view on this. They may have already said that it was okay to your Aunt. If they say no then politely turn down your Aunts offer and go with the suggestion of a slumber party with no alcohol.
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my boyfriend punches me alot and calls me a whore,slut,hoe etc. i usually am good about hiding the bruises his friends tell me he doesnt mean it and should take him serious. he always apoligizes and i have been with him for a year and hes always nice to me. so i forgive him but im afraid of him. im not oignt oo dump him. does anyone have any toher advice? (link)
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Listen to the advice given by younggrandma and hollister bitch. Everything they says is common sense. Please leave before he kills you.
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